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Melodrama: I reread parts of both of the Danny and Claude with a baby girl stories, and now I want a story where Sylvie and her new husband get pregnant, and Danny can't handle it. He's on the road with the Penguins (uh, I really want all the fic about him signing with the Pens, as unlikely as that probably is) and calls Claude. He's been drinking and he spills to Claude that back when things were good, he and Sylvie used to talk about having more kids once the boys were older/Danny got closer to retirement. Now she's having more kids and he isn't, and he loves Misha, but while she's fine with the boys, she's not particularly maternal and doesn't want more kids.

Snippet )
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Way back before Danny signed with the Habs, I kept coming up with ideas for stories depending on where he went, mostly about Pittsburgh and LA (because they were two of the three funniest possibilities [the third is Columbus]).

The LA ideas were pretty much all Danny/Carts/Richie variations; this is a snippet of a variation where there would be threesome Danny/Carts/Richie times but also Danny/Claude feelings. If anyone needs a fic writing project, I really want a 50,000-word version of this where Carts and Richie keep Danny for two years and then send him back to Claude with the ability to cook and give a really great blowjob.

Snippet )
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Summary: In which Danny and Claude eat a lot of dessert and take it slow.

Notes: I started writing this long enough ago that it no longer conforms to reality. Pretend this takes place in a world where Danny's buyout wasn't a constant topic of conversation at the end of the season, where the buyout time frame was different, and where the Flyers didn't buy out Danny's contract.

Thanks to Lake for constant encouragement and to everyone on Twitter who provided dessert ideas. Title from Selena Gomez's "Come & Get It."

Story on AO3

When You're Ready (Come and Get It) )
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So sometimes I write melodramatic snippets that (a) are ridiculous/unbelievable, (b) get jossed, and/or (c) I will never turn into fic. A collection of those seems like a good post for April Fool's Day, so here are five of them. You could read the first one as a pairing kind of story, but they're mostly gen. Also, the second, fourth, and fifth ones mention Claude's real-life girlfriend, so be forewarned if that's not your kind of thing.

Claude panicking )


Claude heartbroken )


Tyler Seguin, secret child )


Danny, Claude, vulnerability )


Danny, Claude, concussion and advice )
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Summary: "So why'd you call me?" Claude rocks Anna, brushes one finger over her tiny, soft cheek. "You should've called Danny, or one of the other guys with kids." He looks up at a suspicious silence from Hartsy. "Did you call me so I would call Danny for you?"

Story on AO3

Two Gingers and a Baby )
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I keep thinking maybe I should just do a real primer, but that would involve too much hockey research, so instead you get occasional posts gushing over pictures and videos.

First, Danny being adorable. Part 1: Pictures )

Part 2: Video )

Moving on, Danny being adorable with children. Part 1: Pictures )

Part 2: Video )

Thirdly, Danny being adorable with Claude. Part 1: Pictures )

Part 2: Video )

Bonus news article link!

Family matters for Flyers' Briere, Giroux (you have to click through to part two) from January 2011 (a golden era of Brioux coverage) is totally useful. It covers the infamous furniture shopping trip, tells us that Danny kept the house in the divorce, and has Danny telling us both that Claude's room is a mess and:
"We have rules," Briere said with a smirk. "Especially when the boys have school the next day."
In logic world, that does not require the smirk it apparently does in Brioux-land.
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Sidney Crosby and the Russians Who Love Him

Fandom, take note: this man is not a robot:

Picture )

I have to admit that I can barely handle this picture. Look how absolutely delighted he is to have that child in his arms. You know who else loves kids?

This guy:

Geno! )

Also, this guy:

Ovi! )

Where is the nanny AU where Sid has a baby and hires Geno or Alex to be the kid's nanny?

Danny Briere (with bonus Taylor Hall, Tyler Seguin, Scott Hartnell, and Claude Giroux)

Whatever, like I was going to make a hockey post without including him. First, let's watch this:

Video )

This is the video I tell people about when I'm trying to describe how unintentionally dirty hockey is. Barely legal draft prospects Taylor Hall and Tyler Seguin visit the Flyers locker room where Danny tells them how hard or soft he likes his sticks and how many he goes through in a season. And then Tyler Seguin can't keep himself from commenting about how tiny Danny is.

The only bad thing about that video is that it's during playoff season, which means Danny has terrible facial hair. So let's look at him in the adorable hats the Flyers had for the Winter Classic:

Adorable hat! )

And while we're on the subject of the Winter Classic, I may have watched this video a very large number of times today:

Video )

It's titled "Flyers See Winter Classic Ice," but is actually just Scott Hartnell and the Briouxs checking it out. Hartsy greets all five of them with, "Hey, Brieres."

Carts+Richie 4-EVER (with bonus Staals!)

This gif floated around tumblr recently:

Carts and Richie making hearteyes at each other. )

Mostly, it makes me want a college AU, but I can't say why it reads that way to me. Also, it comes from this video:

Video )

The best thing about this video is that nearly all of the dialogue is just the Staals chirping people. Best Scandinavian trolls.

Tyler Seguin's House of Bros

I really mean it when I say that Segs and his husband and boyfriends are making my whole summer better.

First, his husband was upset that Segs and the dog were napping without him:

Picture )

Then Segs took his other other boyfriend to see Magic Mike:

Picture )

And then slept on him in public:

Picture )

Also, it appears that someone in that house is sleeping in a bed with pink blankets:

Picture )

Really, how does this kind of thing happen in real life?

Danny Briere's (ex?-)Husband's New Boyfriend

Let's just start with pictures of that time Claude Giroux took Paul Bissonnette as his date to the NHL Awards:

Claude and Biz on the red carpet )

And lest you think that's fangirl exaggeration, allow me to assure you that every interviewer they met on the red carpet called Biz Claude's date, in those words. And then there's the video that the screencaps above come from. You may need a minute to prepare yourself for this. Keep in mind that it includes this exchange:

Alyonka Larionov: I'm just wondering, how did this relationship start?
Claude: I don't even know. When's the first time we met?
Biz: It's complicated.
Claude: My status on Facebook, "It's complicated."

Yeah, that happens:

Let's go to the video tape. )

And don't forget the first red carpet interview where they talk about how they were hanging out together in Montreal when they decided Biz should be Claude's date:

Video )

You have no idea how much I want Claude/Biz fic. And the fact that no one wants to break up Claude and Danny isn't going to stop me from talking about it. Possible plot bunnies:

The one where Danny's straight and Claude is not: Claude's young, but he's not completely stupid. He knows falling in love with an older straight man who already has a family isn't going to end well for him, so he moves out of Danny's house, gets his own place, gets over Danny, and hooks up with Biz.

The other one where Danny's straight and Claude is not: Danny really is just a friend. Claude tends to just hook up with people, and then he starts hooking up with Biz.

The one where they're poly: Claude and Danny have an open relationship. Possibly they're monogamous during the season and free to do whatever (or whomever) they want during the summer. This summer, Claude spends a lot of time hooking up with Biz.

The one where they fall in love: Biz is not into relationships. He just likes sex. And then there's Claude, and he thinks it's just hooking up. (This would be like that Taylor Hall/Ryan Whitney story with the part of Taylor Hall played by Claude and the part of Ryan Whitney played by Biz.)

The one I'm most likely to write: Claude and Biz casually hooking up in varying cities. (If I end up writing it, it's probably just going to be a sex scene that hinges on Claude asking, "Can I fuck you this time?" and Biz finding that he really likes being fucked.)


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Ruth Sadelle Alderson


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