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rsadelleSummary: "So why'd you call me?" Claude rocks Anna, brushes one finger over her tiny, soft cheek. "You should've called Danny, or one of the other guys with kids." He looks up at a suspicious silence from Hartsy. "Did you call me so I would call Danny for you?"
Story on AO3
Claude's been getting updates on the whole situation from Hartsy along the way, so it's not a surprise when he gets a text that says, "Baby's here. Come over?"
Claude heads over to Old City, where he calls up to Hartsy to let him in.
"You've only had a kid for a day," Claude says. "You shouldn't look so tired yet."
Hartsy barely smiles. "Have you ever lived with a baby?" He leads Claude into the loft and picks a baby up out of a car seat on the floor. "This is Anna."
Claude holds his hands out to Hartsy and gets the baby. "She looks like you," he says after a minute. "Too bad for her."
Hartsy flips him off. "I have no idea what I'm doing," he confesses.
"So why'd you call me?" Claude rocks Anna, brushes one finger over her tiny, soft cheek. "You should've called Danny, or one of the other guys with kids." He looks up at a suspicious silence from Hartsy. "Did you call me so I would call Danny for you?"
"I didn't want to bother him if he had the boys."
Claude stares him down, because that's a complete lie and because he needs a moment to think about the boys' probable schedule.
"You know him better," Hartsy says.
Claude laughs and pulls out his phone. He explains the situation to Danny in French he knows Hartsy can't follow.
"He laughed at you," Claude reports when he hangs up. He lets Hartsy hang for a moment before he adds, "But he's coming over."
Hartsy practically collapses in relief.
"She's lighter than a set of pads," Claude says, bouncing Anna a little. "It can't be that hard."
"Says the man who's never had a kid."
Claude laughs, softly so he doesn't startle Anna. "You'll figure it out."
Hartsy scrubs his hands over his face and into his hair. Claude hasn't seen him that out of sorts in a long time.
Claude says, "She's not even crying," because she isn't. She barely even seems to be aware of anything around her, but that's probably right for how young she is. Claude looks up to catch the irritation on Hartsy's face and stops chirping. "She's beautiful," he says, "and you'll figure it out."
Hartsy nods, then his face splits into a grin. "You said she looks like me. Does that mean you think I'm beautiful?" He fluffs his hair on one side, then the other.
Claude laughs, and is still laughing when Danny calls up and Hartsy buzzes him in.
"She's tiny," Danny says. He takes Anna easily from Claude. "I remember when my boys were this small." He looks at her for a moment before he looks at Hartsy. "Let's see what you've got."
Claude trails along as Hartsy shows Danny the few things he has set up in the guest room. Danny dictates a list of what else Hartsy needs while effortlessly adjusting Anna in his arms to keep her calm. It's almost more impressive than how effortlessly he handled his boys in the year Claude lived with them.
Hartsy's taking notes on his phone, but after a while, he stops and asks, "Can't you just come shopping with me?"
Danny laughs at him. "I learned my lesson about that last time." He takes Hartsy's phone and scrolls through the list before handing it back. "This should do it for now. Go. Claude and I can babysit for a while."
Claude laughs at Hartsy's clear indecision. "I'm useless, but Danny knows what he's doing."
Hartsy leans over to touch Anna's cheek before he leaves.
Anna, of course, starts to cry just after that, and Danny walks Claude through heating up a bottle and feeding it to her.
"Why can't you do it?" Claude asks when he finally has Anna settled into the crook of his arm sucking hungrily on the bottle.
Danny shrugs. "I've done it, and you're going to spend more time with her than I will."
Anna falls asleep after she's been fed and burped, a frankly disgusting process Claude would have been happy never having to deal with. Claude sits on the couch with her and chats with Danny about the boys and his golf game until Hartsy gets back. Having Anna gets him out of hauling things up from the car and getting them set up.
Anna doesn't wake up until they're almost done, and Claude gives her to Hartsy when she does. "Your kid," he says. "I already fed her. You get to figure out what she wants now."
What she wants, it turns out, is her diaper changed, and that makes Claude even more glad that he gave her back to Hartsy.
"Next time," Hartsy says, pointing at him, "it's your turn."
Claude just laughs at him.
"I have to get the boys," Danny says, looking down at the phone. "Call me if you need some help, but I think you'll be okay, at least for the rest of the summer. You'll have to hire a nanny when the season picks up." He smiles a little. "I had a wife, and we barely managed it."
Hartsy gives Anna to Claude and hugs Danny. "Thanks, man."
"Sure." Danny leans over to smile at Anna. "You be good for your dad. You can torture Claude all you want."
Claude says, "Hey," but he and Hartsy are both laughing when Danny leaves.
"Fuck," Hartsy says after a minute. "I don't even know what to do with a baby."
"Probably not swear around them," Claude says. "Just look at them when they're this little, I guess. She doesn't do much."
"Cry," Hartsy says, but he lifts Anna out of Claude's arms. "Don't you, little girl? You cry a lot."
"Just like your dad," Claude says, "always running his mouth."
"Not like G," Hartsy says. "He can barely speak English anyway. I don't know that I want him talking to you. You might pick up bad habits." He delivers the entire insult in the same crooning tone he uses for everything else he says to her.
"I'm going to teach her French," Claude says. "We're going to talk about you and you won't ever know what we're saying."
Hartsy chuckles, then looks up without a smile. "Do you really think I can do this? I don't want to screw her up for life."
"Sure you can," Claude says. "Plenty of people dumber than you raise kids, and you turned out okay."
Hartsy full-out laughs. "I'm telling my mom you said that."
"Go right ahead," Claude says. "I think I can take her."
Hartsy laughs a little more before he bumps his shoulder to Claude's. "Thanks."
Claude bumps right back. "Sure."
"Just have to get through the summer," Hartsy says, looking at Anna, "and hire a nanny. I can do that." He looks up. "You sticking around the rest of the summer?"
"Part of it," Claude says. "I'll come hang out, but I'm not babysitting so you can get laid."
Hartsy grins. "No way. You're my best wingman. I need you out there, not in here with this girl."
Story on AO3
Claude's been getting updates on the whole situation from Hartsy along the way, so it's not a surprise when he gets a text that says, "Baby's here. Come over?"
Claude heads over to Old City, where he calls up to Hartsy to let him in.
"You've only had a kid for a day," Claude says. "You shouldn't look so tired yet."
Hartsy barely smiles. "Have you ever lived with a baby?" He leads Claude into the loft and picks a baby up out of a car seat on the floor. "This is Anna."
Claude holds his hands out to Hartsy and gets the baby. "She looks like you," he says after a minute. "Too bad for her."
Hartsy flips him off. "I have no idea what I'm doing," he confesses.
"So why'd you call me?" Claude rocks Anna, brushes one finger over her tiny, soft cheek. "You should've called Danny, or one of the other guys with kids." He looks up at a suspicious silence from Hartsy. "Did you call me so I would call Danny for you?"
"I didn't want to bother him if he had the boys."
Claude stares him down, because that's a complete lie and because he needs a moment to think about the boys' probable schedule.
"You know him better," Hartsy says.
Claude laughs and pulls out his phone. He explains the situation to Danny in French he knows Hartsy can't follow.
"He laughed at you," Claude reports when he hangs up. He lets Hartsy hang for a moment before he adds, "But he's coming over."
Hartsy practically collapses in relief.
"She's lighter than a set of pads," Claude says, bouncing Anna a little. "It can't be that hard."
"Says the man who's never had a kid."
Claude laughs, softly so he doesn't startle Anna. "You'll figure it out."
Hartsy scrubs his hands over his face and into his hair. Claude hasn't seen him that out of sorts in a long time.
Claude says, "She's not even crying," because she isn't. She barely even seems to be aware of anything around her, but that's probably right for how young she is. Claude looks up to catch the irritation on Hartsy's face and stops chirping. "She's beautiful," he says, "and you'll figure it out."
Hartsy nods, then his face splits into a grin. "You said she looks like me. Does that mean you think I'm beautiful?" He fluffs his hair on one side, then the other.
Claude laughs, and is still laughing when Danny calls up and Hartsy buzzes him in.
"She's tiny," Danny says. He takes Anna easily from Claude. "I remember when my boys were this small." He looks at her for a moment before he looks at Hartsy. "Let's see what you've got."
Claude trails along as Hartsy shows Danny the few things he has set up in the guest room. Danny dictates a list of what else Hartsy needs while effortlessly adjusting Anna in his arms to keep her calm. It's almost more impressive than how effortlessly he handled his boys in the year Claude lived with them.
Hartsy's taking notes on his phone, but after a while, he stops and asks, "Can't you just come shopping with me?"
Danny laughs at him. "I learned my lesson about that last time." He takes Hartsy's phone and scrolls through the list before handing it back. "This should do it for now. Go. Claude and I can babysit for a while."
Claude laughs at Hartsy's clear indecision. "I'm useless, but Danny knows what he's doing."
Hartsy leans over to touch Anna's cheek before he leaves.
Anna, of course, starts to cry just after that, and Danny walks Claude through heating up a bottle and feeding it to her.
"Why can't you do it?" Claude asks when he finally has Anna settled into the crook of his arm sucking hungrily on the bottle.
Danny shrugs. "I've done it, and you're going to spend more time with her than I will."
Anna falls asleep after she's been fed and burped, a frankly disgusting process Claude would have been happy never having to deal with. Claude sits on the couch with her and chats with Danny about the boys and his golf game until Hartsy gets back. Having Anna gets him out of hauling things up from the car and getting them set up.
Anna doesn't wake up until they're almost done, and Claude gives her to Hartsy when she does. "Your kid," he says. "I already fed her. You get to figure out what she wants now."
What she wants, it turns out, is her diaper changed, and that makes Claude even more glad that he gave her back to Hartsy.
"Next time," Hartsy says, pointing at him, "it's your turn."
Claude just laughs at him.
"I have to get the boys," Danny says, looking down at the phone. "Call me if you need some help, but I think you'll be okay, at least for the rest of the summer. You'll have to hire a nanny when the season picks up." He smiles a little. "I had a wife, and we barely managed it."
Hartsy gives Anna to Claude and hugs Danny. "Thanks, man."
"Sure." Danny leans over to smile at Anna. "You be good for your dad. You can torture Claude all you want."
Claude says, "Hey," but he and Hartsy are both laughing when Danny leaves.
"Fuck," Hartsy says after a minute. "I don't even know what to do with a baby."
"Probably not swear around them," Claude says. "Just look at them when they're this little, I guess. She doesn't do much."
"Cry," Hartsy says, but he lifts Anna out of Claude's arms. "Don't you, little girl? You cry a lot."
"Just like your dad," Claude says, "always running his mouth."
"Not like G," Hartsy says. "He can barely speak English anyway. I don't know that I want him talking to you. You might pick up bad habits." He delivers the entire insult in the same crooning tone he uses for everything else he says to her.
"I'm going to teach her French," Claude says. "We're going to talk about you and you won't ever know what we're saying."
Hartsy chuckles, then looks up without a smile. "Do you really think I can do this? I don't want to screw her up for life."
"Sure you can," Claude says. "Plenty of people dumber than you raise kids, and you turned out okay."
Hartsy full-out laughs. "I'm telling my mom you said that."
"Go right ahead," Claude says. "I think I can take her."
Hartsy laughs a little more before he bumps his shoulder to Claude's. "Thanks."
Claude bumps right back. "Sure."
"Just have to get through the summer," Hartsy says, looking at Anna, "and hire a nanny. I can do that." He looks up. "You sticking around the rest of the summer?"
"Part of it," Claude says. "I'll come hang out, but I'm not babysitting so you can get laid."
Hartsy grins. "No way. You're my best wingman. I need you out there, not in here with this girl."