Ruth Sadelle Alderson

I had two different people - only one of whom was my mother - ask for my wish list before Halloween. Holiday season comes earlier and earlier every year. That wish list meme thing hasn't even come around yet! I can handle pre-Thanksgiving holiday shopping (since I went holiday shopping yesterday), but not pre-Halloween. So here's my list now. Please don't feel obligated to get me anything off of it, especially in the dance/retreat categories. (Those are more for my mother, and it was easier to just make one list for everyone, although I'll leave the chocolate off the list for her.)

1. A better world. I've talked about this before, and it still tops my list.

Given the first item on my list, I feel a little iffy about putting other things on my list. From experience, though, I know that people will buy me something anyway, so why not make a list? Plus, I read Gretchen's post "Why it can be selfless to be selfish, or, how you can be generous by TAKING." She makes sense. So here's the rest of my list:

2. Books. Something I've never heard of but will like. Implicit in that is not sci fi/fantasy, unless it's extremely obscure. Generally, if there's something sci fi/fantasy I would like, I've already heard about it. I've been expanding my reading range this year, too, so that's part of why I'm looking to branch out from sci fi/fantasy. I usually say that I only read books by (and preferrably about) women, but I recently read The Lies of Locke Lamora by Scott Lynch, which is an excellent book about a man written by a man. (I almost didn't mention the name of the book for fear that the person I plan to give it to will get it and read it before then, but I don't want to be stingy with my recommendations.) Even just a recommendation for something to read would be an excellent gift.

3. Recipes. I find cookbooks way too overwhelming, so I'm asking for individual recipes. I bake a lot. I've recently gotten in the habit of freezing things so I can make a lot at once and then be able to eat it over time. I'm a vegetarian although not a vegan. I don't like eggplant, asparagus, avocado, mushrooms, or olives. I have been thinking about quiche recently, so if you have a good quiche recipe, that would be an excellent thing to give me.

3. Dance classes: belly dance. I already plan/budget for my regular class, but I'd love to expand my range and take classes with one or more of the other teachers in town. (Assuming they fit my schedule; the class I've been taking was awesome, but it interferes with family dinner night.)

4. Dance classes: ballet or hip hop. In addition to the belly dance classes, I'd love to expand into totally different styles. I took ballet when I was little, and it's retained its fascination and allure. I also think it would help with turns and with the gracefulness of my arms. Every time I see hip hop, I think how much I would love to be able to do that. I also think it would help me learn to hear what's in the music. The main reason I haven't figured out a way to work these into my life yet is that there hasn't been anything in town that didn't conflict with the things I already have going on. Chico Creek Dance Centre currently has a ballet class that would fit in. If they continue that into the new year, it would work.

5. Belly dance costume/accessories gift certificates. I don't have a preferred place in mind, but I love how much more fun class is when I dress up, and I'd love to have more things to dress up in. My teacher wants us to work towards professional-style bra-and-belt-set costumes, so places with that kind of thing might be good.

6. Retreat. I would love to go on a retreat. The Expanding Light is a yoga retreat center that's not that far away and seems to be reasonably priced. I also looked at Spirit Rock, which seems a little intimidating and farther away. Perhaps in the future.

7. Chocolate. Chocolate is always a good thing. I used to only like milk chocolate, but my tastes are changing, so I'm expanding into dark chocolate. I even got some dark chocolates when I went to See's today. (Verdict: the ginger was a bit much, considering that ginger is also something that I'm just getting used to, and the raspberry cream was absolutely delicious.) My current favorite chocolate is Dagoba, but again, I'm branching out, so I'd love to also try anything that's your favorite.

***

What do you want this holiday season?

Every year since I was a small child, I've made a wish list. This was a great parenting tool. Every time my brother or I wanted something we saw in a store or on TV or in the paper, my mom would say, "Let's put it on your wish list." She'd write it down and we wouldn't fuss as much.

As an adult, I increasingly feel like telling people what to give me is tacky. On the other hand, having my brother's wish list makes shopping for him much easier; I don't know him all that well these days, and the list helps.

My wish list this year is simple. I risk sounding both pretentious and sappy with this, but there are only two things I want:

1. A better world.
   
2. Connection with other people.

These may seem grandiose, but they're not impossible, and there is a place for you.

A better world.
Do something this holiday season that makes the world a better place. That could mean making a financial contribution to a worthy cause, buying a stranger's coffee, or volunteering in one of the many holiday endeavors you'll find in any community.

Connection with other people.
Send me a letter or an email; there are few things I love more than getting mail. The card is always my favorite part of the gift.

I'll be doing both of these this season.

I'm trying to make a list of causes to financially support. (My original intention was to find eleven, one each for Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year's, and each of the eight nights of Chanukah. Not only am I having trouble thinking of eleven, but two are time-limited and have to be done before Christmas.) I keep debating with myself about whether or not I should post about the causes I'm choosing to support. On the one hand, I want to encourage other people to support worthy causes. On the other hand, there's that whole thing about how much more valuable tzedakah is when it's given without anyone knowing you've done it.

I'll also be making an effort to write real holiday cards this year, instead of a simple, "Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!"

This is not to say, however, that material gifts won't be appreciated or given. I'm making my list and checking it twice right now, and it's not like I'll be sending back any fabulous gifts you may be inclined to get for me.