Ruth Sadelle Alderson

I read 85 books in 2023, which is about two-thirds as many as I read last year. If you want more, shorter recs, I kept up an ongoing Twitter thread where I recced things as I read them. I've provided content notes where I remember them; as always, feel free to comment or message/email me if you want more information.


Top 11 fiction books/series I read in 2023

Major Bhaajan series (Undercity, The Bronze Skies, The Vanished Seas, The Jigsaw Assassin) by Catherine Asaro - This is a very fun sci fi in space series about a woman who was in the army but is now a PI who also leads her looked down upon people. It's a spinoff from the Saga of the Skolian Empire, but you don't have to read that (or remember anything about it if you have read any of it) for this to make sense. Also, you can skim a lot of the technobabble. My mom also read them and was irked by the gender politics of the world; they make more sense if you know that they're part of the established Skolian Empire, which Asaro started publishing in the mid-90s. Content notes: genre typical violence, somewhat of a military is good vibe.

Before She Finds Me by Heather Chavez - This is a really good thriller with alternating points of view between a pregnant assassin with a moral code whose husband took a job without telling her and a woman whose daughter was shot (but not fatally). Content notes: gun violence, murder.

Alias Emma by Ava Glass - This is a very well done action thriller about a spy taking an asset across London in one day - without getting caught on any of London's cameras. It would make an excellent movie.

The World We Make by N.K. Jemisin - This is the sequel to The City We Became, which was one of my best books of 2020. Jemisin originally intended this to be a trilogy but made it a duology instead, so you no longer need to wait to read the whole story. I loved everything, but also cared absolute most about the Manny/Neek romance. Content notes: eldritch horror, real-world racism and injustice.

Wild Massive by Scotto Moore - This book is ultimately a little forgettable, but it is also a super fun read. If you have watched or know about any long-running sci fi/fantasy TV series (Supernatural fans, I'm looking at you), you will probably enjoy the meta of it all. This was a sci fi book club choice, and people's responses ranged widely from loved it to couldn't finish it and included everything in between.

The Kingdoms by Natasha Pulley - This is a very enjoyable book that plays with alternate history and time travel and is also queer. I loved it and when I was thinking about what I read this year that was definitely going on my list, this was one I immediately thought of. It also helped me develop my theory that "genre bending" in the description of a book actually means "this is a very specific type of story, but telling you the specific kind is a spoiler." Content notes: death/disappearance of people in different timelines, war-related violence, off-screen/past sexual coercion

When the Sparrow Falls by Neil Sharpson - This is more or less a thriller, and also funny. It's set in a future repressive anti-AI state in an otherwise benevolent AI-governed world, and has one of the funniest navigating bureaucracy scenes I've ever read. Content notes: repressive state violence.

Lay Your Body Down by Amy Suiter Clark - The book cover calls this "a novel of suspense," which I disagree with. This is a solid mystery in a small town with a megachurch and a former member of the church both investigating and confronting her own past. Content notes: all kinds of harm to women and girls in that kind of environment

First, Become Ashes by K.M. Szpara - This is a completely compelling queer story. The worldbuilding and the place of kink within it are much better done than in his first book, which I read two years ago and still occasionally think about. I loved the ambiguity about whether or not the magic was real. Content notes: cults and all kinds of physical and sexual abuse, including rape. It also has some Harry Potter references, which made me twitch. Szpara is trans and in the acknowledgements, he talks about fandoms, not necessarily creators/original stories: "To Drarry but not to JKR."

Some Desperate Glory by Emily Tesh - I loved this book. This is another one that immediately came to mind when I was thinking about this list. I thought Tesh did such a good job of putting the reader in the character's worldview, the worldbuilding was interesting, and parts of it were funny even inside a serious story. The rest of my sci fi book club disliked both the main character and everything else I liked and thought worked well, so it may or may not be your thing. Content notes: all kinds of fascism related horrors

This Might Hurt by Stephanie Wrobel - This was a completely engrossing story. It did a good job building the characters and their stories, and I did not see the ending coming (in a good way). Content notes: a cult, self-harm as performance art, death.


Top 5 books/series I read and then thought about a lot in 2023

Godshot by Chelsea Bieker - This was so well-written, and I got completely absorbed in it. It is also about the sexual assault and forced pregnancy of young teenage girls (the protagonist is 14) in a cult in a drought in central California, and I kept thinking about it after I read it.

Adrift by Lisa Brideau - This is a thriller involving amnesia set in a climate change-devastated near future. It starts out a little slow, but I kept thinking about it after I read it and I enjoyed the building a new life aspect of the story. Content notes: climate change, storms, genre-typical danger.

Constance by Matthew FitzSimmons - A big part of why I kept thinking about this is that I had a lot of complaints about it that I was prepared to share at book club, and then everyone else liked it. The plot had potential, but what I found most annoying about it was that the author seemed to smugly think his ideas were new and revolutionary, which they are not.

Captive Prince trilogy (Captive Prince, Prince's Gambit, and Kings Rising) by C. S. Pacat - This was on my best books of 2021 list. This year, I watched all of Black Sails and wanted to read some other twisty plotting, and ended up rereading this whole trilogy twice. I still love it, and reading it closely twice means I started to see that some elements of both the worldbuilding and writing style start to fall apart if you think about it too hard. Content notes: Ancient Greece-style slavery, consent issues, war-related violence, explicit sex scenes.

Cover Story by Susan Rigetti - This is an Anna Delvey-inspired story that's built around diary entries, emails, etc. I don't know how much I enjoyed reading it in the first place, but the final reveal at the end recontextualized the parts I thought were boring enough to skim and made me keep thinking about it.


Top 2 nonfiction books I read in 2023

"You Just Need to Lose Weight" and 19 Other Myths About Fat People by Aubrey Gordon - I sat down on a Saturday morning planning to read just the beginning of this and finished the whole book by lunch. I found it much more accessible than her first book, while still being grounded in facts and pointed toward justice. I highly recommend it if you have any interest in social justice and/or the science behind weight. I do have two criticisms: 1. There's a heavy reliance on the implicit bias tests, which in my understanding are not fully scientifically validated as useful. 2. The last chapter is dedicated to pointing out all the other kinds of discrimination that are alive and well in our world today, which is great! Except she leaves out antisemitism, which seemed like a bad thing to leave out.

Burn It Down: Power, Complicity, and a Call for Change in Hollywood by Maureen Ryan - I was glad I bought a copy of this instead of trying to get it from a library. It's very good and also very intense, so I needed time to recover between chapters and it took me almost four months to read. I greatly appreciated her voice as a fan of TV wrestling with some of the same issues I've been working through, and her turns from thoroughly reported facts to conversational opinions. I do think she lets Damon Lindelof off too easily - sure, he says the right things now, but has he changed his behavior? Content notes: All kinds of interpersonal, institutional, and systemic injustices, harms, and crimes.


The authors I read the most in 2023

There wasn't anyone whose books I read in large amounts this year. I read four or six books by a few people, and they're worth mentioning because they're representative of the kind of easy reads I read a lot of this year.

Jessie Mihalik - I read a total of six of her books in two trilogies. They're sci fi romances with political intrigue and space adventures. I liked the Consortium Rebellion trilogy better than the other one I read. The content notes for these sound very serious, but they're mostly just adventures with space ships. Content notes: genre typical violence, past intimate partner violence, results of nonconsensual human experimentation.

Annabeth Albert - She was one of the authors I read the most in 2021. This year I read the four books in her Hotshots series, which are m/m romances about smoke jumpers in Oregon. I continue to appreciate the diversity of relationship dynamics in her books. One of these deals with disability issues, including sexual functioning after a spinal cord injury, in a way that seemed respectful to me. Content notes: grief/mourning, injury.

A.M. Arthur - I read four of her books this year, and I've read several others before. She writes basic contemporary m/m romances, which is sometimes all I want to read. Content notes: explicit sex, various past traumas.

I read 240 books in 2021, which is not quite one and a half times as many as I read last year. I managed to read so much because I'm a fast reader, I gave up on doing anything but read this year, I read a lot of fast-read romance novels, and I read significantly less fan fiction than usual. Only ten of those are books I reread (two of them for book club reasons), which continues the trend of the last few years of reading more new books. The large number of books I read this year again made it difficult to narrow down a small number of the best ones, which is why this is a long list. I've provided content notes where I remember them; as always, feel free to comment or message/email me if you want more information.


Top 10 fiction books/series I read for the first time in 2021

Note: I made a choice to take a handful of things I greatly enjoyed out of this list because they were written by people in the later section of authors I read most, so you can look there for more recommendations of things I particularly loved.

The Last Thing He Told Me by Laura Dave - I found this in a thriller/suspense category of the library's ebook selection, but I would call it more of a family mystery/drama. I thought it was really well written, and it has one of the best last lines I've ever read in a book, in that it's an understated line that also sums up the entire theme of the book.

The Space Between Worlds by Micaiah Johnson - You can travel to any of the parallel worlds close enough to reach only if your counterpart there is already dead. Cara can travel to all but eight. This was a fascinating premise and a good story, and the only thing I was disappointed about was that I read it on my own because it would have made for some really interesting discussion with my sci fi book club.

Winter's Orbit by Everina Maxwell - Super tropey and super enjoyable m/m space romance. It does a particularly good job with having the key relationship conflict be well done/non-annoying miscommunication where both of them think in truly good faith that they are communicating and understanding clearly. In terms of the non-romance elements of the plot, the if you like you'll likes for this are Katherine Addison's The Goblin Emperor and Arkady Martine's A Memory Called Empire. Content notes from the author.

The Starless Sea by Erin Morgenstern - This is such a good fairy tale-ish book about the nature of stories. Last year a friend said it paired well with The Ten Thousand Doors of January, which my book club read last year, and it was interesting to think about that as I read it. This was a fairly polarizing book for my sci fi/fantasy book club - people either really liked it or really didn't.

Captive Prince trilogy (Captive Prince, Prince's Gambit, and Kings Rising) by C. S. Pacat - This is an amazing slow burn enemies to lovers m/m romance trilogy set in an Ancient Greece-ish world. (While not an entirely accurate comparison, think Queen's Thief but make it gay.) There were something like six places where I thought, "This is where they have sex, right?" before they finally did, and I deeply enjoyed the slow burn of it all. The writing is excellent, and the friend who recommended it to me and I had an entire phone conversation where we just exclaimed back and forth about our favorite parts. Content notes: Ancient Greece-style slavery, consent issues, war-related violence, explicit sex scenes.

Such a Fun Age by Kiley Reid - I knew the instant I finished this book that it was going on this list, and in the months since then I still haven't figured out how to describe it in a sentence or two. It's a literary masterpiece without being pretentious. It does actually live up to its hype. If it sounds at all interesting to you, it is absolutely worth reading. The only disappointment is that it's the author's first book so I couldn't immediately go read everything else she's ever written.

Barbed Wire Heart by Tess Sharpe - In some ways The Girls I've Been, which I also read and enjoyed this year, is the better book, but this is the one that stuck with me more. Harley McKenna's father Duke runs a significant portion of the criminal underworld in North County (a fictionalized Del Norte County). There are rumblings of the power shifting and it's time for Harley to execute her plans to take down her rivals - those inside her father's organization as well as the ones outside. This is a very intense book that involves a lot of scheming, plotting, and violence. Content notes from the author.

An Ember in the Ashes series (An Ember in the Ashes, A Torch Against the Night, A Reaper at the Gates, and A Sky Beyond the Storm) by Sabaa Tahir - This was an enjoyable and deeply satisfying fantasy series. It's a fairly standard high fantasy story, so if you like those at all, you will probably like this. Instead of a fictional Europe, it's set in more of a fictional Middle East setting (the author is Pakistani-American). It's apparently technically a YA series, which surprises me because it read much more like books for adults. Content notes for all kinds of war and death.

Magic in Manhattan trilogy (Spellbound, Starcrossed, and Wonderstruck) by Allie Therin - I read a handful of m/m romance series this year that were at heart basically the same story, and this was one of the most enjoyable ones. Two men, one with magic, one who protects the world from dangerous magic, work together to save the world and also fall in love. It takes place in New York City in 1925, so there are also speakeasies and bootleggers and it's all around a good time. It's not an exact analog, but I would be 0% surprised if this started life as Merlin fanfic. Content note: explicit sex scenes.

And Then There Were Four by Nancy Werlin - This is an excellent YA thriller. If you've ever read The Grounding of Group 6 (if you haven't, don't), this is basically that but much better written, modern, and in an urban setting. Five teenagers - and then four - find themselves in danger and come to realize that their parents are trying to kill them. There's a good mix of diverse characters, including some queer characters and a character with chronic health problems who both uses a cane and has to figure out what to do about her meds while they're on the run. This is another book I knew was going on this list as soon as I finished reading it.


Top 7 books I read and then thought about a lot in 2021

Family Man by Heidi Cullinan and Marie Sexton - This m/m romance novel is not what I would call a particularly good book; however something about the emotional journey of it stuck with me. I just really enjoyed Vinnie.

Mother May I by Joshilyn Jackson - I read this because I loved Joshilyn Jackson's previous suburban housewife thriller. This one is still fairly well written, but I had a much harder time with the suspension of disbelief required for the plot, and I wasn't sure how I felt about how one of the things at the end comes about. However, she was clearly wrestling with an interesting idea and I've thought about it off and on since I read it. Content notes: an infant in danger, discussion of past sexual assault.

When All the Girls Have Gone by Jayne Ann Krentz - Jayne Ann Krentz's books are bad as romance novels and mediocre as suspense novels and I don't recommend them unless, like me, you sometimes need a palate-cleansing mediocre suspense novel. I keep thinking about this one, though, because of one of the side characters. One half of the couple in this book is an activities director at a retirement home who runs an activity for people to write their memoirs. One of the women in the group starts with a chapter about her pillar of the community husband, and then ends the chapter saying that she murdered him. The main character tries to tell her that although embellishing might make the story more interesting, this is something their children will read and they should write the truth. Later, she runs into the older woman's adult children and forewarns them about this element of their mother's memoir. The children ask her if she says how she did it because they always wondered; their father was abusive and they were pretty sure their mother killed him. That scene was hilarious for the way it contradicted the character's expectations, and I keep thinking about it.

Gravity Is The Thing by Jaclyn Moriarty - This was a very strange book. I don't know if I think it was good, but the oddness of it definitely stuck with me.

Three Wishes by Liane Moriarty - In some ways, this is fairly standard for a Liane Moriarty book. I think what made me keep thinking about it was the excellent, and frequently funny, use of outsider points of view.

Before She Sleeps by Bina Shah - This is set in a dystopian city where women are required to take multiple husbands and have as many children as possible. The book is about women who live outside the system and provide intimacy without sex - for a price. It's an interesting premise, and I thought a lot about the implications of the ending. Content notes for all the kinds of things this variety of dystopia implies.

When You Reach Me by Rebecca Stead - A friend recommended this to me in an email thread where we were talking about thrillers and mysteries, which is probably why I had no idea what the explanation for the mysterious things was until it's revealed in the book. I later heard someone else recommend it by noting what the explanation is as part of the what the book is about, and I might have had a different reaction to the book if I'd known what that was. This book feels more middle grade than YA, and it has a lot of short chapters, which is probably what kept me reading even when I wasn't sure if I liked it. I'm still not sure I liked it, but I have kept thinking about it.


Top 2 non-fiction books I read in 2021

The Menopause Manifesto: Own Your Health with Facts and Feminism by Dr. Jen Gunter - This is on this list, in part, by comparison; I read two books about menopause this year and found the other one greatly annoying. This is a straightforward walk through both the science and the history of the cultural meaning of menopause by a gynecologist who is herself going through her menopause transition. I like that her entire project is to provide accurate medical information and that this book really tackles the patriarchal/cultural reasons why we might not have/get accurate information. There are two strong caveats about this book: 1. Skip the weight section. She does a good job of decrying the medical practices of refusing to treat fat people and suggesting weight loss instead of addressing patients' actual issues earlier in the book, but this section is not good. I don't think she's skeptical enough about weight and nutrition science (which is, after all, both deeply complicated and frequently conducted through a lens of anti-fat bias). She also clearly has some disordered eating practices that she feels totally comfortable just putting out there as healthier than they used to be. 2. It takes her until almost the end of the introduction to note that the book primarily applies to cis women because the only science we have about menopause at this point is about cis women. If you are a person with a uterus who is trans/nonbinary and/or taking testosterone, this book may not be affirming and/or helpful to you.

The Path of Blessing by Rabbi Marcia Prager - I read this for a class led by my congregation's cantor. I both learned a lot and found it thought-provoking. I appreciated the way it led our class to talk a lot about gender, and especially appreciated that our cantor specifically pointed out that the book is from the 90s and we have a more expansive idea of gender now. This may not be interesting to you if you're not Jewish.


The 4 authors I read the most in 2021

All four of these authors write primarily or exclusively queer romance novels. (I told you I read a lot of romance novels this year.) This whole section has a blanket content note for explicit sex scenes.

Annabeth Albert - I read two of her series in full and some other miscellaneous books for a total of thirteen of her books. I particularly enjoyed the Out of Uniform series, which has a good mix of tropes, although you do have to be in the mood for "the military is good actually" attitudes to read them. The order of her books doesn't really matter, although Tight Quarters does make more sense if you've already read Wheels Up.

KJ Charles - I read seventeen of her books, one a novella co-written by Jordan L. Hawk. That's more than I would have guessed off the top of my head. I greatly enjoy KJ Charles; however, her books have a higher percentage of plot than I'm sometimes looking for when I want to read a romance novel, and I had the feeling I'd read them fairly haphazardly based only on what library ebooks were available. She's written a variety of kinds of books - mysteries, magic, country house parties - so there is probably something you will like if you're interested. My favorites were probably Any Old Diamonds, A Seditious Affair, and Band Sinister. Content notes for the first two of those for kink.

Jordan L. Hawk - I read my way through the Whyborne & Griffin series for a total of fifteen novels and novellas, one co-written by KJ Charles, in one long rush of needing to know what happened next. I really enjoyed it as a story that had an appropriate ongoing raising of the stakes (I recommend not reading about later books until you get there so you're not spoiled for the escalations), a really solid relationship, some very funny bits about how Widdershins is totally a normal place really, and a woman archeologist who is completely delightful.

Cat Sebastian - I read fourteen of Cat Sebastian's books this year, and the only reason I didn't read more is that she hasn't published more yet. The logo on her website says both "fall in love" and "eat the rich," which is a good summation of the values of her novels. I love that all of her books are about queer characters - even in the m/f books, at least one half of the couple is bi. I don't know why, but A Gentleman Never Keeps Score is the one I liked most (I read it more than once). A Delicate Deception was enjoyable for both the unconventional elements of the endings and a hilarious bit about one character's mother. I also found The Queer Principles of Kit Webb especially fun and charming.

I read 109 books in 2019. This is just short of twice as many as I read last year, and that made it very hard to narrow down to a small number of the very best of them. Only seven of the books I read this year were things I reread.


Top 7 fiction books/series I read for the first time in 2019

The Hazel Wood by Melissa Albert - Fascinating YA story with incredible worldbuilding around fairy tale ideas in a way I haven't seen done before.

Divine Cities Trilogy (City of Stairs, City of Blades, and City of Miracles) by Robert Jackson Bennett - Totally fascinating, engaging trilogy about a world that's been shaped by a mixture of Gods and imperialism.

In the Woods by Tana French - This book made me feel incredibly anxious in a way that felt all out of proportion with what was actually happening to the characters. I wasn't sure how much I enjoyed that experience, but it did show how good the writing was, and I then read all six of her other books within six weeks.

The Last Day of Emily Lindsey by Nic Joseph - Very good mystery/suspense/thriller. If you can read it unspoiled, I think it's extremely effective. Message/email me if you want the content warnings.

Foolish Hearts by Emma Mills - Totally delightful YA novel. Mills's novels are so much fun, I liked that this one had queer characters, and her stuff about fandom is so great.

The Night Circus by Erin Morgenstern - I'd heard how good this is before, and I finally read it this year for a book club. Lovely, magical story.

The Age of Miracles by Karen Thompson Walker - This book was so well written and is really hard to describe. I was especially impressed with her ability to evoke the feeling of junior high without making it feel cringy to read.


Top 5 fiction books I read and then thought about a lot in 2019

The Hazel Wood by Melissa Albert - Yes, I have this on both lists. I thought about it constantly for about two months after I read it. I later read two other books that sort of reminded me of it and made me think about it again because this was the best of the three.

The Power by Naomi Alderman - This is such a good, clever, enjoyable, and surprisingly funny book. I read it for a book club, which meant I thought about it a lot so I could talk about it, and I've thought about the themes of it off and on since then. Content notes for power and its abuses, up to and including murder and sexual assault.

The Witch Elm by Tana French - This book is very well written and a sharp portrait of privilege. I also found some of it, particularly at the end where we find out the answers to the mystery, really stomach turning. I've thought about it off and on since I read it.

Today Will Be Different by Maria Semple - In a lot of ways, Where'd You Go Bernadette is the better book, but this is the one I couldn't stop thinking about. The story was so interesting and strange, and I love stories that take place over the course of one day.

The Book of Essie by Meghan MacLean Weir - I'm not sure how believable I found the plot of this (not so much the what had happened to the characters, but how Essie navigates her way out of it), but it was extremely satisfying, and I thought about it a lot. Content notes for sexual abuse, fundamentalist Christianity, reality TV, and all the manipulation and abuse that comes along with them.


Top 3 non-fiction books I read in 2019

I Like to Watch: Arguing My Way Through the TV Revolution by Emily Nussbaum - This was an entirely riveting book, particularly considering it includes a bunch of reviews of hers I'd read before. I found it a slow read in a good way where I kept stopping to reflect on what she was saying. I could spend, like, a year writing commentary about every essay; it's that thought-provoking.

Invisible Women: Data Bias in a World Designed for Men by Caroline Criado Perez - This is a well-sourced (there are literally 70 pages of source citation end notes), well written, and absolutely infuriating look at the way we don't do research on women and don't use it when we do. My biggest criticism of it is that she's an economist, so she really thinks in jobs-economy terms where I think one of the solutions is to uncouple surviving, and beyond, to thriving, from employment. We are in agreement that another one of the solutions is for men to step up and do their fair share of the currently unpaid care work/domestic labor that is (STILL) done primarily by women.

Educated by Tara Westover - I couldn't put it down, but take note that it's very harrowing. It was also an interesting contrast to J.D. Vance's Hillbilly Elegy, which I read for a book club and found frustrating because I thought Vance never got to the point where he realized just how messed up his family was. Westover is writing from a point where she knows.

In addition to reading 55 books in 2017, I saw 22 movies. (This is what happens when I don't have a fandom.) And so I give you a set of awards. Eligibility criteria: 1. The movie must have been in wide release in the US for the first time in 2017 and 2. I must have seen it. (Note: there is one category for which a movie has to meet only the first of these criteria. It will be obvious when you get there.)

Best Movie Starring The Rock: The Fate of the Furious

Best Movie Starring Vin Diesel: The Fate of the Furious

Best Movie About Faith: Novitiate

Most Inspirational Movie: Wonder Woman

Most Magical Movie: Your Name

Best Middle-Path Movie: Gifted

Most Delightful Movie Based on True Events: Hidden Figures

Most Forgettable Movie That I Nonetheless Laughed All The Way Through: Baywatch

Most Ridiculous Action Movie That Was Nonetheless Exactly What I Wanted It To Be: xXx: The Return of Xander Cage

Movie That Best Combines Feelings I Remember Having With The Feel Of The Kind Of YA Novels I Like: Lady Bird

Best Way To Feel Like A Badass While Sitting Still For Two Hours: Atomic Blonde

Best Movie About Escalating Superpowers: Underworld: Blood Wars

Movie With More Daddy Issues Than I Expected: Guardians of the Galaxy, Vol. 2

Movie With Fewer Daddy Issues Than I Expected: Home Again

Most Tears Shed Over Real People: Step

Most Tears Shed Over Fictional Characters: A Monster Calls

Most Tears Shed Over A Movie Awards Bodies Consider A Comedy: Lady Bird

Most Disappointingly Mediocre Movie: Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets

Worst Movie That Was Still Better Than The Book: The Circle

Best Filmmaking In A Movie I Didn't Like: Lady Macbeth

Best Use Of The Female Gaze: Harry (Pico Alexander) fixing the cabinet door for Alice (Reese Witherspoon), Home Again

Hilarious Bit That Was No Less Hilarious For Having Seen Multiple Gifsets On Tumblr Beforehand: ...transformed himself into a snake because he knows how much I like snakes..., Thor: Ragnarok

Missed Opportunity For Kissing (Men): Luke Hobbs (Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson) and Deckard Shaw (Jason Statham), The Fate of the Furious

Missed Opportunity For Kissing (Women): The Amazons, Wonder Woman

Missed Opportunity For Kissing (Opposite-Sex Couple): Award not given (deemed unnecessary by the awards committee)

Best Sex Scene: Lorraine (Charlize Theron) and Delphine (Sofia Boutella), Atomic Blonde

Best Joke The Audience Didn't Get: "I'm freaking out," Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle

Best Drunken Superhero: Valkyrie (Tessa Thompson), Thor: Ragnarok

Best Performance By One Of The Chrises In A Motion Picture: Chris Hemsworth, Thor: Ragnarok

Most Swoon-Worthy Ruby Rose Performance: Calamity, Pitch Perfect 3

Scene-Stealer: Julianne Nicholson, Novitiate

Person I Saw In Multiple Movies Without Meaning To: Karen Gillan

Movie I Most Regret Not Seeing: Professor Marston and the Wonder Women

Last week I listened to this episode of Insights at the Edge (transcript also available at the link) where the guest was Rabbi Rami Shapiro. Rabbi Rami was a congregational rabbi for twenty years, and now teaches on being a holy rascal and what he calls "perennial wisdom." Tami, the host, asked him about moving away from Judaism. He describes Judaism as, "It's all about God as a male superpower somewhere," talks about issues with the idea of Jews as the "chosen people," and says that many organized religions treat a service as something to just get through. The whole time I was listening to that, I kept thinking, "That's a really narrow view of Judaism." Then I went to a Saturday morning torah service, and thought, "Oh, now I see what you mean." It felt like we were just doing things to get through them without any time to think about what they meant. Also, I discovered that where I know the Friday night service very well, I knew almost none of the Saturday torah service.

There's another part in the podcast where Rabbi Rami talks about the "house-church movement where people who don't feel comfortable at church are just getting together. They pray something, they read something, and then they just have conversations. ... I think what people were hungry for was conversation," which made me laugh because conversation is the last thing I want out of a religious service. I'm not even all that interested in the teaching part - I have a lot of other avenues in my life for that. The other thing that made me laugh is when he says, "we didn't have a cantor so we had whale song instead—recorded whale songs," because I thought, "You don't need a cantor; just sing!"

The combination of listening to Rabbi Rami's thoughts on Judaism and going to a Saturday morning torah service (with a cantor) really helped me define what I want out of a religious service. First, I want a slow, gentle approach to prayer where you get to really think about and feel what you're praying. This is particularly true for me in a Jewish service because I don't read Hebrew, so I'm always trying to follow along with the transliteration while skimming the English translation to see if there are things I don't want to say. Secondly, I want to sing or chant with other people. We chant in my yoga class, and my yoga teacher has various things she says to get people to not feel embarrassed or weird about it and just chant. I find chanting easy because I grew up Jewish without speaking Hebrew, so for me, singing with other people in a language I don't speak is my idea of collective spiritual practice. Part of what I like about Friday night services versus the Saturday torah service is that we sing a lot of songs I know, and when I started going to services on occasion again, what I wanted was to sing with other Jews. Lucky for me, our current rabbi does a contemplative service one Saturday morning a month that's an hour of chanting and guided meditation. It's really lovely, and I do really feel a connection with the divine during that experience. (I feel a little bit guilty sneaking out after the contemplative service instead of staying for the torah study afterwards, but, again, the conversation/learning part is not the valuable piece to me.)

In February, the rabbi's adult education class was "An Intro to Jewish Angels," so at the February contemplative service, she did a guided meditation with angels that I found really moving. (Also interesting: I had a very clear image of the personification of three of the four of them.) It probably helps if you've already done some chanting and breathing first and pause to breathe into each of these, but here it is as best I can remember it: Close your eyes. Take a few breaths. Now imagine to your right the angel Michael, the one who is like God. You may feel some warmth or see a light. Now imagine to your left the angel Gabriel, the power of God. In front of you, imagine Uriel, the light of God. At your back, imagine Raphael, the healer. Now feel the angels surrounding you in their warmth or in their light. Rest in their light. Now from above, feel the light of God pouring over you like honey.

I really love the divine light guided meditations the rabbi's done at both of the contemplative services I've been to so far. For a secular version of a filling yourself with light meditation, I also recommend Danielle LaPorte's Light Scanning Contemplation (at her site, registration-free Soundcloud version).

Stories For Me

I got three stories for Yuletide! They are all on the theme of women after they give up on their mother's dreams for them, which is not surprising based on my requests, but still interesting. Also, when it became reveal time, I recognized two of these authors from other fandoms. I recommend them if you're familiar with the fandoms.

So Is It Wrong To Dance This Line (1135 words) by gaialux
Fandom: Dance Academy
Rating: Teen and Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Kat Karamakov/Ethan Karamakov
Characters: Kat Karamakov, Ethan Karamakov, Natasha Willis
Additional Tags: Slice of Life, Implied/Referenced Incest
Summary: Often enough, all they had was each other and dancing.

In the Shadows, In the Light (1682 words) by escritoireazul
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: Ice Princess (2005)
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Ann (Ice Princess)/Gen Harwood
Characters: Gen Harwood, Ann (Ice Princess), Casey Carlyle
Additional Tags: First Kiss, Female Friendship, Yuletide Treat, Awkward Flirting
Summary:

Gen Harwood gave up figure skating to have a regular life. Now she just has to figure out what that means.

Plan B (2634 words) by carolinecrane
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: Ice Princess (2005)
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Gen/Ann
Characters: Gen Harwood, Ann (Ice Princess)
Additional Tags: Post-Canon, Yuletide Treat, Accidental Dating
Summary:

Gen walked away from her Plan A. Ann's Plan A just didn't work out, but Plan B's not always such a bad thing.

Story By Me

I was about 90% sure I wouldn't get matched on The Fast and the Furious because I only offered Mia and Letty and I figured anyone requesting it would request Dom and/or Brian. I got matched with someone who requested any characters and specifically mentioned being interested in Mia in the request, and I really enjoyed writing this alternate path for Mia after the first movie.

And You Welcomed Me (10724 words) by rsadelle
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: The Fast and the Furious (2001), Fast and the Furious Series
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Characters: Mia Toretto, Original Female Character(s), Original Male Character(s)
Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Post-Movie, Families of Choice, Roman Catholicism
Summary:

Mia makes herself a new family.

I've never watched Generation Kill, but I have read a lot of GK fic, largely because lakeeffectgirl started writing it. (This sometimes causes confusion when I run into GK gifsets on Tumblr; none of them look the way I imagine them in my head.) This is a four-story rec set because I couldn't find the fifth story I was going to rec.


we should do it again (Brad/Nate, 6378 words) by Lake
Summary: In which Nate has issues, and occasionally sleeping with Brad is the least of them.

You should really go read all of lakeeffectgirl's GK fic, but I'm choosing just one for this rec set, and I'm choosing this one because of the three I love best (the other two are Après moi le deluge and and my glory shall be love), this is the one I didn't beta read, which means I never commented on it as it went along, and I also meant to leave a comment on the finished story and never did. If I'd left one, it would have been something like, "Wow. This packs a lot of intensity into a fairly short story."


for my move, well I'm making it (Brad/Ray, 3226 words) by stolemyslumber
Summary:Ray has been a chick for three days when he sits down next to Brad on the couch, puts a hand on his knee, and says, “Brad. I think you should fuck me.”

Of course this rec set needs a hot suddenly a girl story. (stolemyslumber has also written a bunch of other GK fic. If you're going to read more, I highly recommend both we can take it easy if you want me to and then I pick up the pieces and run.)


For What It's Worth (Brad/Ray, 10876 words) by SarahJeanne
Summary: Neither of them really notice it's happening, until it has.

Very good accidental d/s relationship fic.


Bright College Years (Brad/Nate, 7780 words) by fourfreedoms
Summary: Bravo platoon as a fraternity.

This is possibly my most favorite frat AU ever. The throughline of the story is the Brad/Nate relationship, but it's also, in many ways, an ensemble story, and I love the other povs.


The lost story: the fifth story I was going to rec is the Brad/Nate one where Nate is sometimes female and sometimes male. I'm pretty sure I didn't hallucinate it, so if anyone knows what it is, leave a note in the comments!

I loved Justina Chen Headley's Girl Overboard, so I put Nothing but the Truth (and a few white lies) on my PaperBackSwap wishlist, and sat down and read it in one sitting last week.

Patty Ho's mother is Taiwanese; her absent father was white. Her older brother Abe is their mother's smart and athletic darling; Patty bears the brunt of her mother's strict parenting. A fortune teller reads Patty's belly button and predicts she'll end up dating a white guy, which prompts her mother to ship her off to math camp at Stanford for a month.

From there, the book is, in a lot of ways, your basic summer at camp changes a teenager's perspective on her life story, although the perspective she's changing is largely about coming to terms with her mixed race identity. It's also very good. One of the things I liked about it is the way that, while there are men in her story who make a difference, a lot of what gives Patty strength are her relationships with other women: Jasmine and Anne, who Patty calls Kung Fu Queens and whose friendship and example help her see herself as a Kung Fu Queen and part of their trio that she calls "Asian Mafia Girls"; Auntie Lu, who helps illuminate the past that explains just how strict Patty's mother is; and, of course, her mother, who Patty ultimately comes to understand better.

One warning: ( Spoilers. )

If you like YA lit, I highly recommend the book.

If you don't know what knotting is, fanlore has a good overview. I'm sure there are a lot of interesting stories to tell about alpha/beta/omega worlds, but I'm not in it for those stories. I'm totally in it for the porn. Overstimulation/people taking it beyond what they think they can is one of my top five kinks to read, and knotting totally plays in to that. These recs tend toward the shorter and plotless side.

SPN RPF

Working Hard/Hardly Working by poor_choices. Chash has done a fair number of knotting stories around the question of "What about the girls?" and this is my favorite of them all: Jared Padalecki/Danneel Harris/Genevieve Cortese, "Jared has the best job ever, in that he gets to fuck hot omegas and make out with a hot beta during his downtime." Bisexual threesome; what more do you want?

There's a jangle of bells, and Danneel sighs. "Customer," she says, slumping back against him. "What do you think, yours or mine?"

"I hope mine," he says. "I've got a raging hard-on and you're not available until eleven."

"Longer, if this girl wants a proper knotting," Danneel says, smugly. Jared isn't allowed to get off with Danneel during work hours, because he needs to be ready to take care of the omegas if they stop by. Which works for him--he just follows Danneel home and fucks her on her own bed.

Sure to Lure Someone Bad and its sequel, You Are A Fever by Obstinatrix, mistyzeo Jensen Ackles/Jared Padalecki, "Jensen plans to take care of his heat the way he normally does: alone. But there’s a stranger on the subway that has a better idea."

“I’m Jared,” the guys says, very quietly. “And I’m gonna fuck you.”

It should be insulting. It should be ridiculous, and outrageous, and the exact opposite of really goddamn hot, but it isn’t. Jensen sucks in a sharp breath, a pulse of want and need rocketing though him. His cock is fully hard now, throbbing in his jeans, and he has his briefcase positioned just right to not scandalize the whole train. Jared takes another step into his space, gets a foot between Jensen’s boots where he’s bracing against the subway’s movement, and his hard thigh between Jensen’s spread legs. His crotch is against Jensen’s ass, and Jensen can feel the solid line of his dick.

“Jensen,” Jensen says, choking on a moan as the guy, Jared, ducks his head to the curve of his neck and inhales. He’s obviously got his animal instinct in check, just enough that he can keep up the charade of normality in public, but Jensen’s got a feeling this guy will take him apart.

X-Men: First Class

Reading XMFC fic usually just makes me irritated with the movie all over again, but we're just in it for the porn here, so the plot doesn't really matter. (This is also why the not quite 60s elements of the porn don't bother me much.)

Fighting Acceptance by heeroluva Hank/Alex, "Not all of Hank's changes are so obvious, and he has problems adjusting. Alex finally gets through to him."

Alex’s mind abruptly supplied him with a vivid image of what it would look and feel like fully erect, but Alex pushed it aside. Mouth suddenly parched, Alex swallowed thickly, his tongue darting out in a failed attempt to wet his dry lips. Forcing his gaze upward, Alex met Hank’s terrified, wide-eyed gaze. He was obliviously prepared for rejection, for disgust or fear.

Those were the things farthest from his mind at that moment, and probably one of the hottest things he’d ever seen. Alex said as much. “You’re hot.”

much in common by 1001cranes Hank/Alex, "Kink meme fill. Knotting, and neither Alex nor Hank know what's coming."

Hank catches him staring, and that's it, the awkward-face is back.

"Don't even," Alex says, and he launches himself at Hank for good measure. Literally launches, and he knocks Hank onto the bed more by surprise than force. "I can't wait," he slurs, because sex does this to him, it knocks him out, it makes him languid, it makes him want. He gets pushy and malleable all at once. "I want to suck your cock so bad," he croons, shoving one hand between Hank's legs, fingers sliding just over the head, and Hank makes a noise like he's been shot.

Today I'm thankful for Little Mosque on Hulu and the people on Tumblr who blogged about it. I'm about halfway through the series, and I've laughed a lot.