Just because I'm paranoid doesn't mean they aren't out to get me.

[rsadelle]

So, I run this list. It's not the only Metallica slash out there. There are people on metslash who aren't on the list that dare not speak its name, and vice versa. There are some people on both lists. Most of the people who are no mail and/or lurkers on metslash are on both lists. Most of the people who post fic are only on metslash.

Every time I remind people about our archiving policies, I remind them that crossposting is okay. It is possible to post a fic to a list without granting archiving permission. I know that some of the people on both lists are writers. I know that some of them are extremely good writers. I know that they've posted fic to the other list. And yet, with the exception of one author and one story by a second author, none of them post to metslash.

Why not?

Is it because we don't automatically jump up and down and say, "Oh, you're so wonderful, that was the best story ever, when are you writing the sequel?" to every piece of fic that gets posted? Is it because I actually dare to say what I don't like about fic? I only wish someone would critique my fic the way I've critiqued other people's fic. Well, the more recent stuff anyway; I know just how bad some of my older fic is. Isn't that far more useful to you as a writer than unconditional praise for every word you write?

Or perhaps, like one person who recently unsubbed, they don't like it that I dare say that I don't like some of the writing and list policies of the other list. Apparently the fact that all three S's and various other people from the other list have said extremely negative things about metslash and me in their journals and journal comments is completely irrelevant.

Not that I'm bitter.

Comments

A few more miscellaneous thoughts that didn't fit elsewhere

[rsadelle]

As I said to Sel, one of the things I really hated about being on the other list was that any and all criticism or potential criticism of Spooks was, and apparently still is, seen as automatically evil, and I always felt like anyone who dared voice such criticism was also stuck with the stigma of being an evil person. I think perhaps the people who think that I'm really attacking Spooks are right in that any criticism of the other list's policies is an inherent criticism of Spooks because it's her list.

The fact that people have taken what I've said here, in my personal journal as me, as something that reflects upon my abilities and policies as listmom proves the point that the listmom's word has a lot of power, whether or not she's speaking in official listmom capacity. I may not personally like Spooks, but if she wanted to join metslash, I'd let her (and don't think I haven't wondered if she's one of the past or present lurkers; we've already established that I'm an egomaniac when it comes to metslash). One thing has nothing to do with the other. However, I think, at least this was true when I was on the other list, that Spooks' word becomes law, in deed if not in official list policy. Spooks said she didn't like and wouldn't feedback crossovers, which felt like it was the official listmom punishment for writing a crossover, so consequently people were less enthusiastic about crossovers, and I always felt like that was criticism of me not based on my actual writing ability but based on the fact that I dared write about something Spooks didn't like.

Spooks has written more Metallica fic than anyone else, and she was the first to do it, so her characterizations have become the norm in Metallica slash. I'm not saying this is unique to Metallica; it happens in all fandoms. Any breaking away from or criticism of that norm on the other list, however, is, or at least was, looked down upon because it went against Spooky. Or at least that's the way it always felt to me. Your experience may differ.

Carol pointed out that I've written a lot of journal entries about this recently. I've been angry and bitter for a long time. I still am. I just feel like now I can write about it without reliving the awfulness of the experience in all its nervous breakdown glory.

Gods, we're all devoting a lot of energy to this!

[beanside.livejournal.com]

Sorry, it just struck me as funny. Then again, I'm weird like that.

Just one or two little things I wanted to make sure got mentioned. The list policies were all voted on, and agreed upon by a fairly large majority of the members. This is probably why we're a little touchy about them. When you're attacking them, you're not criticising Spooks. You're criticising us.

So far, the policies are working for us. Your mileage may vary. Your polices work for you. Our mileage may vary.

We've had a few crossovers onlist, and it doesn't seem like anyone is putoff by anyone's lack of feedback. Actually, one of the recent ones probably got one of the better amounts of it, mainly because it scorched the monitor.

At one point, yeah, there probably was a lot of "Spooks-inspired" characterization. As you said, happens in any fandom, especially when it's young. For a while in wrestling fic, you'd have been hard pressed to find non-twink slash. (but that's another diatribe completely) That seems to have died down, though. It's not at all unusual to have one fic with Kirk as the total dom right above one with him as a nice femme sub these days.

I guess the last point I wanted to make is that, yes, a lot of us do get pissy about any attacks on Spooks. Pretty much all of us who replied consider her as friend first, listmom second. That's why we all got off our asses and joined the discussion. I'm sure you'd do the same if someone started going after a friend of yours(even if they had their reasons to think that
friend was a raging bitch)that person is still your friend, and you protect your friends, period.

Yeah, I think that covers everything I wanted to.

Re: Gods, we're all devoting a lot of energy to this!

[rsadelle]

We are devoting a ton of time and energy to this. It's obviously that important to that many people.

I have to wonder how comfortable people can really feel disagreeing when, and from what I hear this is still true, people are ostracized for saying they don't like some aspect of Spooky's fic.

I'm glad you had a better experience with crossovers. I was not talking about an absolute lack of feedback (because while feedback is nice and always appreciated, it's not my main goal in writing), but rather that the way Spooky said she absolutely would not feedback crossovers felt like a punishment.

I appreciate the point that you're defending Spooky as a friend, but this is not about Spooky as a person. No, I don't like her. But that's not why I think her writing has flaws or why I disliked the atmosphere of her list. Can you honestly say you agree with every single thing Spooky has ever done? Even the Buddy Bears on Garfield and Friends couldn't agree on pizza toppings.

Re: Gods, we're all devoting a lot of energy to this!

[bubosquared.livejournal.com]

Pretty much all of us who replied consider her as friend first, listmom second.

I don't get this. Ruth is my friend. She's also my listmum. Those two 'identities' are not in any way 'superior' or 'inferior' to each other. They're completely seperate. When Ruth is [explicitely] talking as listmum, she's 'listmum Ruth' and otherwise she's 'person Ruth'. I'd never assume that criticism of the list policies, or of someone as listmum, was inherently equal to critisism, let alone bashing, of some as a person, which is what a lot of tallific people seem to think.