Let's Talk About Endearments

[rsadelle]

Coworker L's partner A now works for us. I've heard L start to call A "sweetie" or a diminutive version of A's name more than once. This is what originally got me thinking about the use of endearments, and then I asked for endearment suggestions for something I was writing and got back the same answer from three different people - and it was an answer that doesn't feel right to me for the story. I did not grow up in an endearment-using household. My mom will sometimes call us "kiddo" or "sweetie" and one of my grandmothers used to call us "kid," but that's about it. For myself, I'm most likely to use endearments when talking out loud in response to a TV show or celebrity interview ("honey," "sweetheart," etc., and usually in an "Oh, honey, no" sort of context) or with small children who I will call "kiddo." A quick google didn't lead me to any useful research on the usage and prevalence of endearments (surely some linguist has studied this), which means I'm going to rely on anecdotal evidence from you. So talk to me about endearments! Do you use them? Did you grow up in a family that used them? Do you hang out with people who use them? Have you noticed patterns in how people use them/who uses them? Would you expect people from different regions to use different endearments? What about people in different professions or in different socioeconomic circumstances? Would you expect men and women use different endearments? Have I used the word "endearments" so many times that it's now lost all meaning?

Comments

[allyndra.livejournal.com]

I use and abuse terms of endearment.

Growing up, my (white, working class, mid-Western) dad called my mom "Honey" or "Honey-head" considerably more often than by her actual name. He still does. He called us "Kiddo" or "Punkin'" or "Sweetie" (though, thinking back, my brothers only got Kiddo. My sister and I got the other two as well), or by a nickname. For reasons I have never understood, my nickname was Loofus-tater, and variations thereof. I turned 34 last month and my brother texted me "Happy B-Day, Loofey!" My mom actually didn't and doesn't use terms of endearment much at all.

I call my husband: Baby, Baby Doll, Darlin', and by a diminutive of his name.

I call my son: Kiddo, Little One (regardless of the fact that he is an inch and a half taller than I now), Punkin', Punkin' Pie, Kidling, Boyo, and by a diminutive of his name. He vetoed Kidlet, so I don't call him that anymore.

My (Chicano, middle class, Southwestern) husband calls me by my actual name, a diminutive of my name, or sometimes "Baby."

I work with several relatively wealthy, educated white men. One calls his wife "Kid" or by a nickname (which is Toots, and it's used by friends and family as well) pretty much all the time. Another calls his wife "Skoo" and uses that nickname to label other things related to her (like, her car is the Skoo-mobile).

A (white, working class, Californian) woman that I worked with always calls her husband either "Babe" or by his name. He refers to her the same way, either "Babe" or her name.

My (Chicano, middle class, Southwestern) in-laws don't use terms of endearment often. At least, not in front of me. My mother-in-law lengthens her husband's actual name (Freddy) into "Frederico," but that's pretty much it.

[rsadelle]

Wow, this is so fascinating and informative. Thank you! "Honey-head" is a new one to me.

[allyndra.livejournal.com]

To be fair, my dad is the only person I've ever heard use it, but he uses it a lot.