Pirates 3

[rsadelle]

Bad things, in no particular order:

• Anyone notice how in the fight scene at the beginning, when the camera lands on a dead person for a moment, it's always a poc? I think the only dead white person we saw close up in the whole movie was a character we knew and had history with.
  
• The Brethren gathering is a collection of stereotypes. Are all the poc stereotypes somehow supposed to be okay because they also stereotype the French?
  
• The phallic jokes. Cheap.
  
• Elizabeth's damsel-in-distressness. Yeah, she gets to fight and be the pirate king. But. Sao Feng forcibly kisses her (and I saw that as a prelude to what else he was going to do to her forcibly), and she doesn't jerk her knee up into his testicles. If she's really badass, she would. Davy Jones fairly easily knocks her out. She gives the high-pitched girly scream when Norrington dies. Again, badass pirate girl. Probably not going to scream quite so shrilly at death. Also, when Jack asks Will if he's there to rescue that "distressing damsel or damsel in distress," Will or Elizabeth should have said, "She's/I'm here to rescue you."
  
• Elizabeth's stirring speech is a little spoiled by the fact that Keira Knightley just doesn't have the voice for it.
  
• Tia Dalma. Aside from all of the other problems with her character, they pretty much forget about her when the storm ends. Um, hello? Newly-freed goddess here. Shouldn't she, you know, do something or say something or even show some motivation for ending the storm? What about some kind of final Calypso-Davy Jones scene? Shouldn't there be more resolution there?
  
• Long. So long. For the love of God, people, there is nothing wrong with a two-hour (or even ninety-minute!) movie.

Neutral to snide comments, in no particular order:

• Was it just me, or was this one a lot more sexual than the last two?
  
• Isn't it convenient that the lovers who are about to be parted for long periods of time always manage to conceive? There's the germ of a novel in this.
  
• To get to the land of the dead, they have to sail through an icy vagina. It makes a nice contrast to the flaming vagina from Lord of the Rings.
  
• I thought for about half the movie that they were going to have Elizabeth be the one to stab Davy Jones' heart.

Good things:

• I loved their wedding. Even the stupid, too-long kiss at the end didn't ruin it.
  
• Uh. I can't think of anything else at the moment.

Question: Why is there no Pirates post on deadbrowalking? Did everyone avoid it after the last one?

Comments

ICE VAG VS. FIRE VAG

[fuseji.livejournal.com]

BARBOSSA WAS AWESOME.

Missed Brad's call to go see it with you guys, but in my mind AWE made up for DMC in spades. And while I know the brethren was a ethnic sight gag, I want the African pirate lord's little pillbox hat that was lined with tiny bones. I also enjoyed the multi-Jack gag; it was an elegant solution to having more of him in the movie without making his character annoying.

I think everyone was waiting for some more resolution w/ Tia Dalma & Davy Jones -- their scene together gave both characters purpose, and I was half-expecting a scene at the end with Will sailing the Flying Dutchman to pick up souls and Calypso bearing her man upon the waters to the land of the dead.

Speaking of the heart of Davy Jones, the decision about stabbing it was the second most unnecessarily long scene in the movie. YES WILL IS DYING SO HE'S GOING TO BECOME CAPTAIN CAN WE MOVE ALONG PLEASE

The longest unnecessary scene being, of course, the slo-mo-explodo of Beckett's ship. So much flying lumber! It felt like an ad for Orchard Supply Hardware or something.

Nobody move! fuseji's lost his brain.

[allegram.livejournal.com]

Yah, I really felt the whole Calypso plot line was kinda shabby, not terribly well thought out and not well executed, particularly at the end (the ropes grow with her but her clothes don't? Why? They're made from the same material!).

And personally I felt Chow Yun-Fat's character was a waste of movie real estate.

Course, I loved the movie, I wasn't there for the plot anyways!