The difficulties of writing Metallica
Apr. 10th, 2001 01:35 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
rsadelleThe discussion over at Free Speech is rather interesting, especially now that it's evolved from "outwit the idiots" to "discuss fan fic." The problem is that I really want to answer Texas Flood's question about why metslash is so heavily James/Jason, but I can't. I think it has a lot to do with the other list, but I can't say that on the boards because 1) despite having advertised its existence, the other listmom would not be pleased with that, and I don't want to anger her because 2) I think it's really important for us to keep up a united front in this kind of public.
I find it ironic, or perhaps it's a logical consequence, that I have a craving for James/Kirk now that I can't get to any. I don't want James/Kirk abuse stories where James is a monster, Kirk is basically an abused woman, and the happy ending just legitimizes the cycle of abuse, but I want the more enjoyable kind of James/Kirk. I want James/Kirk like that unbelievably incredible scene in Teresa's "Sand and Water" where they talk through music. I want James/Kirk like the end of Nette's "Retribution" where James admits he liked it and Kirk is still mad. I want James/Kirk like the cabin story Nette and I are working on where they tease each other and they're worried about Lars and no one's okay.
I have a lot of trouble writing Kirk. I can see him in my mind's eye the way he sounds in interviews. He's a smart ass if he can get away with it, and when he does talk about himself, he's not completely unstable. The problem is that there's a way I'm used to seeing him written, and for all that I can see him a different way, I can't seem to write him a different way. I'd be less distressed about it if I only couldn't write him with James, but I also have trouble writing him with other people.
I tried writing Jason/Kirk once, and the story is stalled. It was really fun to write. They're snapping at each other and joking around, and they're both miserable. The problem is that I can't get them to do anything sexual. It should be relatively easy to see them together because there's so much canon to work off of. I think maybe that's why there isn't much Jason/Kirk out there, other than the surprise Jason ending to some James/Kirk stories (the ending in which Jason stops mumbling about sandwiches long enough to wander off into the sunset with Kirk). Sometimes the easiest pairings to see don't get written precisely because they are so easy.
I'd like to see Cliff/Kirk, too. That also seems almost canon. Cliff and Kirk roomed together and by Kirk's own admission, Cliff used to tell him all kinds of things he wouldn't tell James and Lars. He also says that "Cliff was a real thrill seeker," which makes me wonder if some of those thrills might have been sexual. Cliff and Kirk are involved in one of the things I'm working on, but I'm not sure if it works for the story. It makes it clearer why Cliff does what he does in the story, but I almost want it to be out of loyalty to his bandmate, not protection of his lover.
I find it odd that before Nette and I became interested in Cliff and started writing him with James and now with Kirk, most of the fic I'd read with Cliff in it posited Cliff/Lars. I can't see that at all. Cliff/James makes sense to me because Cliff was James' mentor, and James was so torn up by his death, so I can see them being more than just bandmates. Cliff/Kirk, as I already said, makes sense. There just doesn't seem to be any canon reason for Cliff/Lars. Lars almost never talks about Cliff, which might make you think they were lovers and he's still too hurt about it, but Lars is hardly discreet about his affections, so it seems like if he and Cliff were close, we'd know about it. I have the same problem with Jason/Lars. I can see them goofing off together, and maybe even fooling around and having sex, but I don't see them as a really serious pairing.
I think part of the problem with writing Cliff in general is that it's really hard to get a hold on his character. There are one or two interviews with him on the web, but he died before Metallica found more mainstream success, so there isn't a lot of stuff to base the characterization on. Not many people write about Cliff, so there isn't even anyone else's characterization to play off of. When we write fic, especially slash, I think we play off of other people's characterizations just as much as we play off of the "original." Which, I suppose, is exactly what I want to say about the James/Jason thing.
I find that the music aspect is one of the other things that makes writing Metallica fic difficult for me. I'm a musical idiot. When I listen to Metallica, I can distinguish James' voice and Lars' drums, but I can't pick out which sound is Jason's bass line or James' rhythm guitar. Sometimes I can hear Kirk's guitar, but not always. Not having a clue about what's going on musically makes it really hard to write a realistic Metallica fic. I've tried, in both "Changes" and "Long Way Down," to get the right feel, to get something even half as good at the scene I mentioned from "Sand and Water," but I know it doesn't really work.
That, of course, only makes it harder for me to write James/Kirk. Every time I come up with a story idea about them, it involves music somehow. Either they're connecting through their music, an example of how I want to play off of Teresa's characterization of their relationship, or they're not connecting because they're not playing together. I can almost see it in my head, but I don't know enough about music to write about it, which is really frustrating.
I find it ironic, or perhaps it's a logical consequence, that I have a craving for James/Kirk now that I can't get to any. I don't want James/Kirk abuse stories where James is a monster, Kirk is basically an abused woman, and the happy ending just legitimizes the cycle of abuse, but I want the more enjoyable kind of James/Kirk. I want James/Kirk like that unbelievably incredible scene in Teresa's "Sand and Water" where they talk through music. I want James/Kirk like the end of Nette's "Retribution" where James admits he liked it and Kirk is still mad. I want James/Kirk like the cabin story Nette and I are working on where they tease each other and they're worried about Lars and no one's okay.
I have a lot of trouble writing Kirk. I can see him in my mind's eye the way he sounds in interviews. He's a smart ass if he can get away with it, and when he does talk about himself, he's not completely unstable. The problem is that there's a way I'm used to seeing him written, and for all that I can see him a different way, I can't seem to write him a different way. I'd be less distressed about it if I only couldn't write him with James, but I also have trouble writing him with other people.
I tried writing Jason/Kirk once, and the story is stalled. It was really fun to write. They're snapping at each other and joking around, and they're both miserable. The problem is that I can't get them to do anything sexual. It should be relatively easy to see them together because there's so much canon to work off of. I think maybe that's why there isn't much Jason/Kirk out there, other than the surprise Jason ending to some James/Kirk stories (the ending in which Jason stops mumbling about sandwiches long enough to wander off into the sunset with Kirk). Sometimes the easiest pairings to see don't get written precisely because they are so easy.
I'd like to see Cliff/Kirk, too. That also seems almost canon. Cliff and Kirk roomed together and by Kirk's own admission, Cliff used to tell him all kinds of things he wouldn't tell James and Lars. He also says that "Cliff was a real thrill seeker," which makes me wonder if some of those thrills might have been sexual. Cliff and Kirk are involved in one of the things I'm working on, but I'm not sure if it works for the story. It makes it clearer why Cliff does what he does in the story, but I almost want it to be out of loyalty to his bandmate, not protection of his lover.
I find it odd that before Nette and I became interested in Cliff and started writing him with James and now with Kirk, most of the fic I'd read with Cliff in it posited Cliff/Lars. I can't see that at all. Cliff/James makes sense to me because Cliff was James' mentor, and James was so torn up by his death, so I can see them being more than just bandmates. Cliff/Kirk, as I already said, makes sense. There just doesn't seem to be any canon reason for Cliff/Lars. Lars almost never talks about Cliff, which might make you think they were lovers and he's still too hurt about it, but Lars is hardly discreet about his affections, so it seems like if he and Cliff were close, we'd know about it. I have the same problem with Jason/Lars. I can see them goofing off together, and maybe even fooling around and having sex, but I don't see them as a really serious pairing.
I think part of the problem with writing Cliff in general is that it's really hard to get a hold on his character. There are one or two interviews with him on the web, but he died before Metallica found more mainstream success, so there isn't a lot of stuff to base the characterization on. Not many people write about Cliff, so there isn't even anyone else's characterization to play off of. When we write fic, especially slash, I think we play off of other people's characterizations just as much as we play off of the "original." Which, I suppose, is exactly what I want to say about the James/Jason thing.
I find that the music aspect is one of the other things that makes writing Metallica fic difficult for me. I'm a musical idiot. When I listen to Metallica, I can distinguish James' voice and Lars' drums, but I can't pick out which sound is Jason's bass line or James' rhythm guitar. Sometimes I can hear Kirk's guitar, but not always. Not having a clue about what's going on musically makes it really hard to write a realistic Metallica fic. I've tried, in both "Changes" and "Long Way Down," to get the right feel, to get something even half as good at the scene I mentioned from "Sand and Water," but I know it doesn't really work.
That, of course, only makes it harder for me to write James/Kirk. Every time I come up with a story idea about them, it involves music somehow. Either they're connecting through their music, an example of how I want to play off of Teresa's characterization of their relationship, or they're not connecting because they're not playing together. I can almost see it in my head, but I don't know enough about music to write about it, which is really frustrating.
Cliff/Lars.
Date: 2001-04-10 07:11 pm (UTC)Somehow, for me, that quote just sums up how Lars feels about Cliff. He was a good friend, an amazing bassist, and someone who changed Lars' life irrevocably, but I can't find anything that would lead me to believe that Lars had a sexual relationship with Cliff. Even in the Behind the Music special, Lars' retelling of the night Cliff died was lacking the emotional outpouring of Kirk's, James', or even Jason's. Granted, that isn't tangible proof of a relationship, or lack of one, but somehow, Lars doesn't seem as close to Cliff as James or Kirk were. It just seems that he really respected and loved Cliff, but the way you love a friend or a brother.
Re: Cliff/Lars.
Date: 2001-04-11 03:07 pm (UTC)I think part of the reason so many stories posit Lars/the bassist is because it's a convenient way to pair everybody off and maintain the James/Kirk obsession.