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rsadelleSummary: That first night, alone in Cal and Kelly's guest bedroom, Tyler changes his Facebook status to single, hides Segs from his feed, stops following him on Instagram, stops following the Stars Foundation on Twitter, deletes the Stars app from his phone so he won't get their updates.
Notes: This is slightly AU because I wrote it before the summer. Title from Ingrid Michaelson's "Girls Chase Boys."
Story on AO3
Tyler knows it's stupid to hope it's going to be like that one perfect summer a couple of years ago, the happiest he can ever remember being, living with Segs, working out during the day, having sex at night, sharing a bed and an apartment and a life, but he hopes for it anyway.
That hope comes crashing down around him when Segs gets to Toronto with Jamie in tow.
Segs just beams while he introduces them, like this is the greatest thing.
Tyler manages four days, four days of them being low-key about it, but obviously together, four days of watching Segs smile at Jamie in a brighter version of the way he used to smile at him.
If he thought he could get away with it, he would just leave, but he doesn't, so he says something at dinner, "Hey, so, I'm going to go train in Philly for the rest of the summer."
"What?" Segs says. "I thought you were going to be here." He actually pouts. "I wanted you to get to know Jamie."
Tyler shrugs. "Change of plans."
Segs fusses a little (and even says something about how he and Jamie aren't even being that annoyingly coupley), but he seems to get that Tyler's serious. Or doesn't get how serious he is and thinks he has more time to convince Tyler otherwise.
Tyler leaves in the morning, early, before Segs and Jamie are even up. Packs his things into his truck and drives.
He stops for a quick bite to eat, but mostly just drives straight through until he pulls into a space outside Cal's building.
Kelly opens the door, and calls, "Cal," while she steps forward to hug Tyler.
Cal comes to the door and hugs Tyler too. "What are you doing here, man?"
"Can I stay with you?" Tyler asks. "Just for, like, a day or two until I can find a place."
Cal and Kelly look at each other, silent couple conversation, and then Kelly says, "Of course you can."
That first night, alone in their guest bedroom, he changes his Facebook status to single, hides Segs from his feed, stops following him on Instagram, stops following the Stars Foundation on Twitter, deletes the Stars app from his phone so he won't get their updates.
He stays for only a few days, until he can get his own place.
"You can stay with us as long as you want," Kelly says. "The guest room is yours if you want it."
Cal nods along.
"No," Tyler says. "Thanks." He just wants to be alone for a while.
He moves into his own place, just three bags of his stuff, plus his hockey gear, some rented furniture for the summer, all his other stuff in storage and not worth retrieving for the few months he's going to be here, and throws himself into his summer workouts. Does two a day, runs without complaint, checks in with the nutritionist and starts learning to make some new recipes.
Segs texts him, a screenshot of the Facebook notification with ???? first, and then real questions, calls too. Tyler doesn't pick up, doesn't answer the texts, doesn't pick up when the number on his phone is one he doesn't recognize, and deletes Segs' voicemails unheard.
It kills him to do it, but not more than it was killing him before.
*
"Fourth of July," Cal insists. "You're coming over. We're going to party."
"I'm not even American."
"But we are," Cal says. "And you need to have some fun. You need to get drunk. You can take a day off to recover from your hangover."
Tyler slumps his shoulders and gives in, on the condition that Cal take his phone and put it somewhere Tyler won't find it.
Cal raises his eyebrows at that, and opens his mouth, probably to chirp Tyler.
"Please," Tyler says. "I'll drunk dial if you don't, and I really don't want to."
"Okay," Cal says instead of chirping him.
Tyler's had enough practice getting drunk without spilling all his secrets that even though he gets a little sad at the end of the night, he manages not to do anything more embarrassing than fall asleep on Cal and Kelly's couch while waiting for his turn at the beer pong table.
*
Tyler goes home for a long weekend in August, a chance to catch up with his family before the season starts. Mom and Dad still have to work, so on Friday it's just Tyler and Cody out by the pool playing fetch with Kayley.
Tyler's trying to tug the Frisbee away from her when the doorbell rings, so Cody goes to answer it and comes back with Segs.
"What are you doing here?" Tyler asks.
"What am I- What the fuck are you doing?" Segs asks. "You're not answering my texts and I had to fucking Twitter stalk you to know you were even here."
"I'm just going to go, uh, somewhere else," Cody says, and then he leaves Tyler alone with Segs. Kayley takes off for the other end of the backyard.
"What the hell?" Segs goes on. "Is this about Jamie coming to Toronto for the summer? I wanted everyone to get to know him because he's my partner, and we're supposed to be friends-"
"We're not friends," Tyler says.
Segs looks so hurt at that, and Tyler has to remind himself it's not his job to try to fix that.
"What do you mean we're not friends?" Segs asks.
"I've been in love with you for five years," Tyler says.
"I don't-"
"I know," Tyler hurries to say. He doesn't need to hear Segs actually say the words. "I know you don't. And that's why we can't be friends right now. I need some time to get over you and then maybe we can be friends."
"How much time?"
Tyler has to look away from Segs, because the look on his face makes him want to take it all back and make it okay for Segs, and that isn't healthy. "I don't know," he says. "At least six months, maybe longer."
"I'm sorry," Segs says after a moment.
"Yeah," Tyler says, "me too."
Tyler doesn't walk Segs out, sinks down into one of the chairs by the pool. Kayley comes over to him, and Tyler bends over her, rubbing her back and pretending he doesn't want to cry. "Good girl," he says. "You still love me. Yeah."
Tyler goes back to Philly on Tuesday and goes back to working as hard as he can.
*
Tyler's done with pretending his life is something other than it is, so he faces up to the fact that he's never going to make it into the show, never going to make it any higher than the AHL. But if he's going to do that, he's going to be the best damn AHL player he can be.
He works hard, starts being the first guy at the rink for practice and the last one to leave, gives advice to the younger guys where he can, does interviews, signs autographs and takes pictures with fans.
Halfway through November, the team makes him an alternate captain. He's never going to get the C, not unless they give it to him because he's the oldest guy around, like in Juniors, but it's nice to have some recognition, nice to know he's doing well in trying to take on more of a leadership role.
*
"Are we going to get a tree?" Cal asks two weeks into December. "Usually you're all 'Christmas is here!' when we're barely past Thanksgiving."
Tyler looks at the empty spot in their apartment that would be perfect for a tree. "Yeah," he says, "we could get a tree."
They find a lot and wrestle the tree into the back of Tyler's truck and then up the stairs and into the apartment. Tyler has to dig around a little before he finds the lights, and then some of them are tangled of course.
He's passing lights around the tree to Cal when he says, "I was in love with someone who didn't love me back."
"Ouch," Cal says. "That sucks." He passes lights to Tyler.
"Yeah," Tyler says. "It really, really does. I've been trying to get over him." He plows right past the part where he just told Cal he was in love with a guy, and the part where Cal can probably figure out who he means. "But it's been a long time, since way back in Juniors, and we were friends even when we weren't together." He turns away from the tree to get another strand of lights. "He, um, has a partner now." Tyler plugs the lights into the previous strand. "So it's way past time for me to move on."
"That's-" Cal says. "Actually that explains a lot." He takes lights from Tyler, and they keep passing them back and forth, wrapping them around the tree. "You shouldn't let it stop you from enjoying the things you love, like Christmas."
Tyler shrugs a little and they finish putting lights on the tree. Tyler plugs it in, and they step back to look at it.
Cal puts his arm around Tyler's shoulders. "Looks good."
"Yeah." It does, soft glow of color in the corner of their apartment.
Cal squeezes Tyler's shoulder. "You'll be okay."
Tyler puts on Christmas music for the drive to the rink the next day, and sneaks a turn at choosing the music in the room to run a playlist of carols through the speakers.
It's fun, lightens up Tyler's mood and the mood in the room.
*
In January, they play Norfolk, a pair of away games that mean Tyler meets up with Jesse for dinner.
"This might be awkward," Jesse says, "but what's up with you and Segs?"
Tyler shrugs. "We're not talking right now."
"Yeah, I figured that out," Jesse says. "What happened?"
Tyler shrugs again.
"You missed out on getting to know Jamie," Jesse says. "I know it's weird that Segs has an actual boyfriend, but he's really cool."
Tyler grits his teeth and reminds himself to take a deep breath. "I really don't want to talk about Segs. Or Jamie."
"Okay," Jesse says, drawing out the word, and if he doesn't sound completely satisfied with that, at least he drops it.
*
Cal gets a bunch of the boys together to go out for Tyler's birthday. Tyler doesn't get totally wasted, but he has more than a few beers and lets Cal drive them home.
"Good birthday, buddy?" Cal asks on the way up to their apartment.
"Yep," Tyler says.
Cal chuckles a little. "Drunk enough that I need to take your phone?"
Tyler considers it. "No," he decides. "Not going to drunk dial anyone."
Cal claps him on the shoulder. "Good man."
*
Their season winds down. They win some, lose some, and still don't manage to make the playoffs. Tyler says goodbye to the guys and goes home for a break.
Tyler isn't specifically paying attention the Stars anymore, but he can't help knowing that they're in the playoffs. He watches a few games at home with his family, and feels bad for Segs when they lose in the second round, but there isn't the urge to try to make it better for him the way there used to be.
Tyler waits a week and then logs in to Facebook and goes to Segs' page. He hits the timing just right; Segs' last post, from the day before, says, "Toronto for the summer."
Tyler thinks about it too much, and then he texts Segs, Hi. I'm in Wasaga for at least another week. Want to see if we can be friends again?
It's not long at all before Segs texts back, Having some of the guys over to hang on Friday night. Dinner and video games. Want to come?
A party might be easier than one-one-one with Segs, just to start. Yes, he sends back. What time?
Food about seven, Segs sends back with a smiley face.
Tyler times it, as best he can, so he gets there a little before seven, but not too early. He walks past the doorman with a nod, still one of the same guys from when he was last here, and takes the elevator up. He knocks on the door instead of just walking in.
Fred answers and lets Tyler in. "Brownie, good to see you, man."
"Yeah," Tyler says, "good to see you."
"Segs is in the kitchen, and so is the beer," Fred says.
Tyler smiles at him, and makes his way through the room, saying hi to the guys - it really is just a few of them: Fred, Brendan, Jesse, and Derrek - on his way to the kitchen.
Jamie's in the kitchen with Segs, leaning over Segs' shoulder at the stove.
"Stop," Segs says, laughing. "You're distracting me." His tone says he doesn't mind at all.
"It's pasta," Jamie says. He presses a kiss to Segs' neck. "It doesn't take that much attention."
What Tyler feels is less hurt than the memory of where that hurt used to be.
"It takes-" Segs stops talking when he turns around and notices Tyler. "Hey," he says.
Jamie takes half a step away from Segs. "Hi, Brownie. Can I get you a beer?"
"Yeah, thanks."
Jamie gets him a beer from the fridge, and then slides his hand over Segs' waist on his way out of the kitchen.
"Your pasta's going to boil over," Tyler says.
"Shit." Segs turns around quickly to take care of that. "So, uh, this is awkward," he says once the pasta's down to a bubbling that won't end up all over the stove.
Tyler huffs out a little bit of a laugh. "Yep. Sorry about the playoffs."
"Yeah," Segs says. "It's disappointing, but," he shrugs, "we're a young team. We have time." He glances at the pasta. "How've you been?"
Tyler shrugs. "All right. We didn't make our playoffs. They gave me the A this year."
"Yeah? That's cool." Segs smiles at him.
There's an awkward moment of silence where neither of them know what to say, and then the hiss of water on the burner.
"What the hell are you doing to that pasta?" Fred asks, coming into the kitchen as Segs yelps and lifts the pot off the burner.
"Nothing," Segs says, and the timer goes off as he puts the pot back down. "It's done anyway."
That leads to the whole group descending on the kitchen. Tyler slips out of it to catch up with Derrek while everyone else gets in the way of helping Segs get dinner onto the table that seemed ridiculously big for a two-bedroom apartment until the first time they had people over.
Dinner is lively with that group, people talking over each other, conversations ranging from hockey to dating to movies.
Everyone's obviously used to Jamie and Segs, because they make space for the two of them to sit together and no one bats an eye when Segs reaches over to wipe sauce off of the corner of Jamie's mouth or when Jamie stretches his arm out across the back of Segs' chair.
They all help carry things into the kitchen after dinner, and Tyler offers to help clean up. He might not live there anymore, but he knows what he's doing, and Segs is doing most of it, so it gives them a chance to chat for a moment. Of course, it's patently obvious that that's what Tyler is going for, but everyone else clears out to the living room.
"You seem good," Tyler says. "Settled. Happy. You and Jamie."
"Yeah," Segs says. He looks past Tyler at the living room with a smile. "It's good. We're not, like out out" - Tyler knows that; even without paying attention to the Stars, he would have heard about that - "but a lot of people know." His smile drops away when he looks back at Tyler. "Are you, I don't know, cool with that?"
"Yes," Tyler says, and he finds he actually means it. There's still an ache for what he and Segs never quite had, but it's dulled now, and will probably get even less painful over time. "It's good to see you happy."
"Thanks." Segs wipes down the stove. "Does that mean you think we can be friends again?"
Tyler takes inventory of how he feels in the kitchen he used to share with Segs after having dinner with Segs and his boyfriend, who is in the other room with their friends. He can still see that Segs is hot - will probably never stop seeing that - and he remembers how much he loved him and how much it hurt every time things ended. That's all in the past, but maybe the part where he liked spending time with Segs for his own sake doesn't have to be.
"Yeah, maybe," he says. "I mean, I think so, but we probably have to get to know each other again."
"Yeah," Segs says. "Well, cool." He tosses the sponge in the sink. "Hug it out?"
Tyler chuckles and holds his arms out for Segs' hug. It's probably the shortest hug they've ever shared, but that's probably good for now.
"Hey, losers," Brendan yells at them, "get out here so we can take a picture."
Segs and Tyler smile at each other, and then they join the rest of the boys so Jamie can take several different versions of the traditional everyone gathered around Derrek picture for the rest of them to Instagram.
Tyler captions his, "Dinner with old friends."
Cal texts him before he can put his phone away. How is it?
Tyler looks up, habit making him look for Segs first. Segs is with Jamie, who's holding Segs' phone where Segs has to press up against him, cheeks pink and smile bright, to get it back. Tyler recognizes that kind of flirting with Segs, even if he'll never be on the inside of it again. He looks away from Segs and Jamie, at the rest of their group of friends, Brendan talking to Derrek about something, Fred and Jesse laughing, Segs stepping away from Jamie to join in Brendan and Derrek's conversation. There are things here he missed, aside from how he felt about Segs.
Good, he sends. I think maybe we can be friends again.
Cal sends him a thumbs up emoji.
Jesse slings an arm around Tyler's shoulders. "Dude, come on. We're hanging out here."
Tyler locks his phone and puts it away. "I'm done," he says, and he lets Jesse pull him back into the group.
Notes: This is slightly AU because I wrote it before the summer. Title from Ingrid Michaelson's "Girls Chase Boys."
Story on AO3
Tyler knows it's stupid to hope it's going to be like that one perfect summer a couple of years ago, the happiest he can ever remember being, living with Segs, working out during the day, having sex at night, sharing a bed and an apartment and a life, but he hopes for it anyway.
That hope comes crashing down around him when Segs gets to Toronto with Jamie in tow.
Segs just beams while he introduces them, like this is the greatest thing.
Tyler manages four days, four days of them being low-key about it, but obviously together, four days of watching Segs smile at Jamie in a brighter version of the way he used to smile at him.
If he thought he could get away with it, he would just leave, but he doesn't, so he says something at dinner, "Hey, so, I'm going to go train in Philly for the rest of the summer."
"What?" Segs says. "I thought you were going to be here." He actually pouts. "I wanted you to get to know Jamie."
Tyler shrugs. "Change of plans."
Segs fusses a little (and even says something about how he and Jamie aren't even being that annoyingly coupley), but he seems to get that Tyler's serious. Or doesn't get how serious he is and thinks he has more time to convince Tyler otherwise.
Tyler leaves in the morning, early, before Segs and Jamie are even up. Packs his things into his truck and drives.
He stops for a quick bite to eat, but mostly just drives straight through until he pulls into a space outside Cal's building.
Kelly opens the door, and calls, "Cal," while she steps forward to hug Tyler.
Cal comes to the door and hugs Tyler too. "What are you doing here, man?"
"Can I stay with you?" Tyler asks. "Just for, like, a day or two until I can find a place."
Cal and Kelly look at each other, silent couple conversation, and then Kelly says, "Of course you can."
That first night, alone in their guest bedroom, he changes his Facebook status to single, hides Segs from his feed, stops following him on Instagram, stops following the Stars Foundation on Twitter, deletes the Stars app from his phone so he won't get their updates.
He stays for only a few days, until he can get his own place.
"You can stay with us as long as you want," Kelly says. "The guest room is yours if you want it."
Cal nods along.
"No," Tyler says. "Thanks." He just wants to be alone for a while.
He moves into his own place, just three bags of his stuff, plus his hockey gear, some rented furniture for the summer, all his other stuff in storage and not worth retrieving for the few months he's going to be here, and throws himself into his summer workouts. Does two a day, runs without complaint, checks in with the nutritionist and starts learning to make some new recipes.
Segs texts him, a screenshot of the Facebook notification with ???? first, and then real questions, calls too. Tyler doesn't pick up, doesn't answer the texts, doesn't pick up when the number on his phone is one he doesn't recognize, and deletes Segs' voicemails unheard.
It kills him to do it, but not more than it was killing him before.
*
"Fourth of July," Cal insists. "You're coming over. We're going to party."
"I'm not even American."
"But we are," Cal says. "And you need to have some fun. You need to get drunk. You can take a day off to recover from your hangover."
Tyler slumps his shoulders and gives in, on the condition that Cal take his phone and put it somewhere Tyler won't find it.
Cal raises his eyebrows at that, and opens his mouth, probably to chirp Tyler.
"Please," Tyler says. "I'll drunk dial if you don't, and I really don't want to."
"Okay," Cal says instead of chirping him.
Tyler's had enough practice getting drunk without spilling all his secrets that even though he gets a little sad at the end of the night, he manages not to do anything more embarrassing than fall asleep on Cal and Kelly's couch while waiting for his turn at the beer pong table.
*
Tyler goes home for a long weekend in August, a chance to catch up with his family before the season starts. Mom and Dad still have to work, so on Friday it's just Tyler and Cody out by the pool playing fetch with Kayley.
Tyler's trying to tug the Frisbee away from her when the doorbell rings, so Cody goes to answer it and comes back with Segs.
"What are you doing here?" Tyler asks.
"What am I- What the fuck are you doing?" Segs asks. "You're not answering my texts and I had to fucking Twitter stalk you to know you were even here."
"I'm just going to go, uh, somewhere else," Cody says, and then he leaves Tyler alone with Segs. Kayley takes off for the other end of the backyard.
"What the hell?" Segs goes on. "Is this about Jamie coming to Toronto for the summer? I wanted everyone to get to know him because he's my partner, and we're supposed to be friends-"
"We're not friends," Tyler says.
Segs looks so hurt at that, and Tyler has to remind himself it's not his job to try to fix that.
"What do you mean we're not friends?" Segs asks.
"I've been in love with you for five years," Tyler says.
"I don't-"
"I know," Tyler hurries to say. He doesn't need to hear Segs actually say the words. "I know you don't. And that's why we can't be friends right now. I need some time to get over you and then maybe we can be friends."
"How much time?"
Tyler has to look away from Segs, because the look on his face makes him want to take it all back and make it okay for Segs, and that isn't healthy. "I don't know," he says. "At least six months, maybe longer."
"I'm sorry," Segs says after a moment.
"Yeah," Tyler says, "me too."
Tyler doesn't walk Segs out, sinks down into one of the chairs by the pool. Kayley comes over to him, and Tyler bends over her, rubbing her back and pretending he doesn't want to cry. "Good girl," he says. "You still love me. Yeah."
Tyler goes back to Philly on Tuesday and goes back to working as hard as he can.
*
Tyler's done with pretending his life is something other than it is, so he faces up to the fact that he's never going to make it into the show, never going to make it any higher than the AHL. But if he's going to do that, he's going to be the best damn AHL player he can be.
He works hard, starts being the first guy at the rink for practice and the last one to leave, gives advice to the younger guys where he can, does interviews, signs autographs and takes pictures with fans.
Halfway through November, the team makes him an alternate captain. He's never going to get the C, not unless they give it to him because he's the oldest guy around, like in Juniors, but it's nice to have some recognition, nice to know he's doing well in trying to take on more of a leadership role.
*
"Are we going to get a tree?" Cal asks two weeks into December. "Usually you're all 'Christmas is here!' when we're barely past Thanksgiving."
Tyler looks at the empty spot in their apartment that would be perfect for a tree. "Yeah," he says, "we could get a tree."
They find a lot and wrestle the tree into the back of Tyler's truck and then up the stairs and into the apartment. Tyler has to dig around a little before he finds the lights, and then some of them are tangled of course.
He's passing lights around the tree to Cal when he says, "I was in love with someone who didn't love me back."
"Ouch," Cal says. "That sucks." He passes lights to Tyler.
"Yeah," Tyler says. "It really, really does. I've been trying to get over him." He plows right past the part where he just told Cal he was in love with a guy, and the part where Cal can probably figure out who he means. "But it's been a long time, since way back in Juniors, and we were friends even when we weren't together." He turns away from the tree to get another strand of lights. "He, um, has a partner now." Tyler plugs the lights into the previous strand. "So it's way past time for me to move on."
"That's-" Cal says. "Actually that explains a lot." He takes lights from Tyler, and they keep passing them back and forth, wrapping them around the tree. "You shouldn't let it stop you from enjoying the things you love, like Christmas."
Tyler shrugs a little and they finish putting lights on the tree. Tyler plugs it in, and they step back to look at it.
Cal puts his arm around Tyler's shoulders. "Looks good."
"Yeah." It does, soft glow of color in the corner of their apartment.
Cal squeezes Tyler's shoulder. "You'll be okay."
Tyler puts on Christmas music for the drive to the rink the next day, and sneaks a turn at choosing the music in the room to run a playlist of carols through the speakers.
It's fun, lightens up Tyler's mood and the mood in the room.
*
In January, they play Norfolk, a pair of away games that mean Tyler meets up with Jesse for dinner.
"This might be awkward," Jesse says, "but what's up with you and Segs?"
Tyler shrugs. "We're not talking right now."
"Yeah, I figured that out," Jesse says. "What happened?"
Tyler shrugs again.
"You missed out on getting to know Jamie," Jesse says. "I know it's weird that Segs has an actual boyfriend, but he's really cool."
Tyler grits his teeth and reminds himself to take a deep breath. "I really don't want to talk about Segs. Or Jamie."
"Okay," Jesse says, drawing out the word, and if he doesn't sound completely satisfied with that, at least he drops it.
*
Cal gets a bunch of the boys together to go out for Tyler's birthday. Tyler doesn't get totally wasted, but he has more than a few beers and lets Cal drive them home.
"Good birthday, buddy?" Cal asks on the way up to their apartment.
"Yep," Tyler says.
Cal chuckles a little. "Drunk enough that I need to take your phone?"
Tyler considers it. "No," he decides. "Not going to drunk dial anyone."
Cal claps him on the shoulder. "Good man."
*
Their season winds down. They win some, lose some, and still don't manage to make the playoffs. Tyler says goodbye to the guys and goes home for a break.
Tyler isn't specifically paying attention the Stars anymore, but he can't help knowing that they're in the playoffs. He watches a few games at home with his family, and feels bad for Segs when they lose in the second round, but there isn't the urge to try to make it better for him the way there used to be.
Tyler waits a week and then logs in to Facebook and goes to Segs' page. He hits the timing just right; Segs' last post, from the day before, says, "Toronto for the summer."
Tyler thinks about it too much, and then he texts Segs, Hi. I'm in Wasaga for at least another week. Want to see if we can be friends again?
It's not long at all before Segs texts back, Having some of the guys over to hang on Friday night. Dinner and video games. Want to come?
A party might be easier than one-one-one with Segs, just to start. Yes, he sends back. What time?
Food about seven, Segs sends back with a smiley face.
Tyler times it, as best he can, so he gets there a little before seven, but not too early. He walks past the doorman with a nod, still one of the same guys from when he was last here, and takes the elevator up. He knocks on the door instead of just walking in.
Fred answers and lets Tyler in. "Brownie, good to see you, man."
"Yeah," Tyler says, "good to see you."
"Segs is in the kitchen, and so is the beer," Fred says.
Tyler smiles at him, and makes his way through the room, saying hi to the guys - it really is just a few of them: Fred, Brendan, Jesse, and Derrek - on his way to the kitchen.
Jamie's in the kitchen with Segs, leaning over Segs' shoulder at the stove.
"Stop," Segs says, laughing. "You're distracting me." His tone says he doesn't mind at all.
"It's pasta," Jamie says. He presses a kiss to Segs' neck. "It doesn't take that much attention."
What Tyler feels is less hurt than the memory of where that hurt used to be.
"It takes-" Segs stops talking when he turns around and notices Tyler. "Hey," he says.
Jamie takes half a step away from Segs. "Hi, Brownie. Can I get you a beer?"
"Yeah, thanks."
Jamie gets him a beer from the fridge, and then slides his hand over Segs' waist on his way out of the kitchen.
"Your pasta's going to boil over," Tyler says.
"Shit." Segs turns around quickly to take care of that. "So, uh, this is awkward," he says once the pasta's down to a bubbling that won't end up all over the stove.
Tyler huffs out a little bit of a laugh. "Yep. Sorry about the playoffs."
"Yeah," Segs says. "It's disappointing, but," he shrugs, "we're a young team. We have time." He glances at the pasta. "How've you been?"
Tyler shrugs. "All right. We didn't make our playoffs. They gave me the A this year."
"Yeah? That's cool." Segs smiles at him.
There's an awkward moment of silence where neither of them know what to say, and then the hiss of water on the burner.
"What the hell are you doing to that pasta?" Fred asks, coming into the kitchen as Segs yelps and lifts the pot off the burner.
"Nothing," Segs says, and the timer goes off as he puts the pot back down. "It's done anyway."
That leads to the whole group descending on the kitchen. Tyler slips out of it to catch up with Derrek while everyone else gets in the way of helping Segs get dinner onto the table that seemed ridiculously big for a two-bedroom apartment until the first time they had people over.
Dinner is lively with that group, people talking over each other, conversations ranging from hockey to dating to movies.
Everyone's obviously used to Jamie and Segs, because they make space for the two of them to sit together and no one bats an eye when Segs reaches over to wipe sauce off of the corner of Jamie's mouth or when Jamie stretches his arm out across the back of Segs' chair.
They all help carry things into the kitchen after dinner, and Tyler offers to help clean up. He might not live there anymore, but he knows what he's doing, and Segs is doing most of it, so it gives them a chance to chat for a moment. Of course, it's patently obvious that that's what Tyler is going for, but everyone else clears out to the living room.
"You seem good," Tyler says. "Settled. Happy. You and Jamie."
"Yeah," Segs says. He looks past Tyler at the living room with a smile. "It's good. We're not, like out out" - Tyler knows that; even without paying attention to the Stars, he would have heard about that - "but a lot of people know." His smile drops away when he looks back at Tyler. "Are you, I don't know, cool with that?"
"Yes," Tyler says, and he finds he actually means it. There's still an ache for what he and Segs never quite had, but it's dulled now, and will probably get even less painful over time. "It's good to see you happy."
"Thanks." Segs wipes down the stove. "Does that mean you think we can be friends again?"
Tyler takes inventory of how he feels in the kitchen he used to share with Segs after having dinner with Segs and his boyfriend, who is in the other room with their friends. He can still see that Segs is hot - will probably never stop seeing that - and he remembers how much he loved him and how much it hurt every time things ended. That's all in the past, but maybe the part where he liked spending time with Segs for his own sake doesn't have to be.
"Yeah, maybe," he says. "I mean, I think so, but we probably have to get to know each other again."
"Yeah," Segs says. "Well, cool." He tosses the sponge in the sink. "Hug it out?"
Tyler chuckles and holds his arms out for Segs' hug. It's probably the shortest hug they've ever shared, but that's probably good for now.
"Hey, losers," Brendan yells at them, "get out here so we can take a picture."
Segs and Tyler smile at each other, and then they join the rest of the boys so Jamie can take several different versions of the traditional everyone gathered around Derrek picture for the rest of them to Instagram.
Tyler captions his, "Dinner with old friends."
Cal texts him before he can put his phone away. How is it?
Tyler looks up, habit making him look for Segs first. Segs is with Jamie, who's holding Segs' phone where Segs has to press up against him, cheeks pink and smile bright, to get it back. Tyler recognizes that kind of flirting with Segs, even if he'll never be on the inside of it again. He looks away from Segs and Jamie, at the rest of their group of friends, Brendan talking to Derrek about something, Fred and Jesse laughing, Segs stepping away from Jamie to join in Brendan and Derrek's conversation. There are things here he missed, aside from how he felt about Segs.
Good, he sends. I think maybe we can be friends again.
Cal sends him a thumbs up emoji.
Jesse slings an arm around Tyler's shoulders. "Dude, come on. We're hanging out here."
Tyler locks his phone and puts it away. "I'm done," he says, and he lets Jesse pull him back into the group.