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trcunning's prompt: "Emp: trans!Max, no pairing, just something about the fact that Tom and Max go waaaay back."
Many thanks to the friends who talked this idea through with me. You made it a better story.
I rereadazurejay's Document recently and found that it has greatly influenced this story. Hudson's FTM Resource Guide was a good reference for research that didn't explicitly make it into the story. The title is from this.
Warnings: One instance of homophobic/gender policing language. Story about a trans character where the main character is a cisgendered straight man.
Warnings: One instance of homophobic/gender policing language. Story about a trans character where the main character is a cisgendered straight man.
Tom's been out with Danielle a couple of times, movies with bunches of friends where they held hands in the darkness of the theater, dinner once, when she invites him over for dinner with her family.
Tom knows this is a big thing, and he dresses neatly, if not too different from how he usually does, and is careful to be polite. Danielle's family is cool, which they have to be, for how awesome she is.
There's something off, too emphatic, about the way she says, "This is my brother Max," but Tom shrugs it off and shakes Max's hand. Max is a serious-looking kid wearing too many layers.
"Danielle says you play guitar."
Max smiles. "Yeah. I'm not that good yet, but yeah."
"You're totally good," Danielle says. "You should play something for Tom."
Danielle's mom says, "After dinner," and shuffles them all into the dining room.
After dinner, Danielle takes Tom to Max's room and makes him play.
"I'm still working on this," Max says before he starts playing. It's pretty good, but Max shrugs at the end. "The bridge isn't quite right."
"Try a G."
Max plays it again, with a G, and smiles at Tom. "That sounds better. Thanks."
"No problem, dude."
Danielle walks him out when he leaves, and they stand on the porch.
"Your brother's pretty cool. Max."
"Yeah, he is." Danielle smiles and takes Tom's hand. "Thanks for not being a jerk about his music. He's pretty serious about it."
Tom shrugs. "Yeah, well, it's music."
Danielle loops her arms around Tom's neck and kisses him. He pretty much forgets about Max after that.
*
Max joins a real band a couple years after Tom meets him. Danielle goes to all of their shows - and skips Tom's to do it when they conflict. Tom goes to a lot of them, because if he's not playing music, there isn't anywhere he'd rather be than with her.
Max's band is good. They're young (not that Tom's all that old), but they have a following, and they bring out a pretty good crowd.
At one show, a kid near them shouts to his friend, "These guys are awesome!"
His friend yells back, "Yeah, even if their guitarist looks like a dyke."
Danielle's head whips around.
Tom locks his arms around her. The last thing they need is to get in a fight with a couple of teenagers, no matter how shitty they're acting.
"Don't," he says into her ear. "They're just a couple of assholes." He turns her toward the stage. "Max is the fucking rock star."
She never quite loses that tension, but she doesn't go after the kids.
After the show, Tom stands back while she hugs Max tight and kisses his cheek, leaving a lipstick mark that Max wipes off while making a face.
"You fucking rocked," Danielle says.
Max turns his face into a smile. "Yeah?"
"Yes," Danielle says, firm and implacable. Behind her, Tom nods his agreement.
*
One time, when they've been drinking and shared a joint and are lying side by side on his bed staring into the darkness and Tom's marveling at the way everything in the world had to happen just so to bring them to this very moment, he asks Danielle, "Do you ever wish you had a sister instead of two brothers?"
Danielle doesn't say anything, and he turns to see tears rolling down her cheeks. She shakes her head, when she sees him looking. "No," she says. "No, no, I'm sorry, sorry, no."
Tom has no idea what she's apologizing for. He cries sometimes when he's drunk and stoned. He rolls onto his side and clumsily puts his arms around her.
She keeps saying it, for a long time, until she stops crying.
Tom never asks her again.
*
"I don't know." Tom puts his guitar down. "Can we listen to both takes?"
Max says, "Yeah, sure," and plays them one after the other.
Both Tom and Sean shake their heads.
"Still not it," Sean says.
"I have an idea," Max says. "Can I?"
Tom hands over his guitar. "Go for it, man."
Max changes the tempo of the bridge, switches the chorus to a G.
Sean and Tom exchange looks, a smile growing on Sean's face.
"Do that again," Sean says, and he sings along this time.
On the way home, Tom says, "We're going to need another guitarist."
"Max, if he wants it." Sean bumps against his shoulder. "He's practically your brother-in-law. You ask him."
*
Tom puts a stop to it the first time Ryan bitches about Max needing a closed door to pee or change his clothes. Max has a right to his own shit. This band is going to form itself around the people in it, not hurt them and throw them out if their edges don't line up.
*
Max is never the last one to practice, ever, and Tom didn't see him after the show last night.
It's Ryan who asks, "Where'd you disappear to last night?" when he finally shows up.
Max mumbles something while he gets his amp set up.
Ryan, of course, doesn't let up. "Did you hook up with that girl? She was all over you."
Max doesn't answer, but the blush and the smile fighting their way across his face say it for him. On the one hand, Tom's proud. On the other hand, he fervently hopes Danielle never asks him anything about it.
"Way to go, man!" Ryan puts his hand up for a high-five that Max returns. Ryan turns to point at each of them in turn. "First times."
Max and Tom say, "No!" at the same time.
Ryan frowns, then says, "Fine, everyone but Tom."
Max's smile dims.
"Dude," Tom says, "just count us in. None of us are drunk enough for you to interrogate us about our sex lives."
Max makes a face at him, presumably at the thought of his sex life, but his smile comes back after that.
*
Max pushes his glasses up. "I'm going to need some time away from the band, a couple of weeks over Christmas."
"What for?" Sean asks.
Max looks down. "Just family stuff, you know."
There's something not right about it that Tom can't put his finger on, and as they get closer to Christmas, Danielle gets more and more wound up too.
"Are you okay?" He asks it when they're in the car, stopped in front of his apartment, so she doesn't have to look at him if she doesn't want to.
"Yeah, no." She lets go of her death grip on the steering wheel to wave her hand. "It's just family shit, and I'd tell you about it if I could, but I can't."
Tom leans over and hugs her as best he can from the passenger seat. He hates that there's something she can't share with him, but she's still here with him. "Love you."
She nods against his shoulder. "Love you too."
*
Even though it's January in Chicago, Max is wearing just a long-sleeve t-shirt when they get back to practice.
Tom has a camera with him, and he lifts it to his eye, watching Max through it, trying to figure out what's different. The only thing he can pinpoint is that Max is being careful about what he lifts and how high.
Tom snaps one photo, Max settling his guitar over his chest, and puts down the camera. "Hey, man, you alright?"
"Yeah." Max smiles, wider, lighter, happier than Tom has ever seen him. "Yeah, I'm great."
trcunning's prompt: "Emp: trans!Max, no pairing, just something about the fact that Tom and Max go waaaay back."Many thanks to the friends who talked this idea through with me. You made it a better story.
I reread
azurejay's Document recently and found that it has greatly influenced this story. Hudson's FTM Resource Guide was a good reference for research that didn't explicitly make it into the story. The title is from this.Warnings: One instance of homophobic/gender policing language. Story about a trans character where the main character is a cisgendered straight man.
Warnings: One instance of homophobic/gender policing language. Story about a trans character where the main character is a cisgendered straight man.
Tom's been out with Danielle a couple of times, movies with bunches of friends where they held hands in the darkness of the theater, dinner once, when she invites him over for dinner with her family.
Tom knows this is a big thing, and he dresses neatly, if not too different from how he usually does, and is careful to be polite. Danielle's family is cool, which they have to be, for how awesome she is.
There's something off, too emphatic, about the way she says, "This is my brother Max," but Tom shrugs it off and shakes Max's hand. Max is a serious-looking kid wearing too many layers.
"Danielle says you play guitar."
Max smiles. "Yeah. I'm not that good yet, but yeah."
"You're totally good," Danielle says. "You should play something for Tom."
Danielle's mom says, "After dinner," and shuffles them all into the dining room.
After dinner, Danielle takes Tom to Max's room and makes him play.
"I'm still working on this," Max says before he starts playing. It's pretty good, but Max shrugs at the end. "The bridge isn't quite right."
"Try a G."
Max plays it again, with a G, and smiles at Tom. "That sounds better. Thanks."
"No problem, dude."
Danielle walks him out when he leaves, and they stand on the porch.
"Your brother's pretty cool. Max."
"Yeah, he is." Danielle smiles and takes Tom's hand. "Thanks for not being a jerk about his music. He's pretty serious about it."
Tom shrugs. "Yeah, well, it's music."
Danielle loops her arms around Tom's neck and kisses him. He pretty much forgets about Max after that.
*
Max joins a real band a couple years after Tom meets him. Danielle goes to all of their shows - and skips Tom's to do it when they conflict. Tom goes to a lot of them, because if he's not playing music, there isn't anywhere he'd rather be than with her.
Max's band is good. They're young (not that Tom's all that old), but they have a following, and they bring out a pretty good crowd.
At one show, a kid near them shouts to his friend, "These guys are awesome!"
His friend yells back, "Yeah, even if their guitarist looks like a dyke."
Danielle's head whips around.
Tom locks his arms around her. The last thing they need is to get in a fight with a couple of teenagers, no matter how shitty they're acting.
"Don't," he says into her ear. "They're just a couple of assholes." He turns her toward the stage. "Max is the fucking rock star."
She never quite loses that tension, but she doesn't go after the kids.
After the show, Tom stands back while she hugs Max tight and kisses his cheek, leaving a lipstick mark that Max wipes off while making a face.
"You fucking rocked," Danielle says.
Max turns his face into a smile. "Yeah?"
"Yes," Danielle says, firm and implacable. Behind her, Tom nods his agreement.
*
One time, when they've been drinking and shared a joint and are lying side by side on his bed staring into the darkness and Tom's marveling at the way everything in the world had to happen just so to bring them to this very moment, he asks Danielle, "Do you ever wish you had a sister instead of two brothers?"
Danielle doesn't say anything, and he turns to see tears rolling down her cheeks. She shakes her head, when she sees him looking. "No," she says. "No, no, I'm sorry, sorry, no."
Tom has no idea what she's apologizing for. He cries sometimes when he's drunk and stoned. He rolls onto his side and clumsily puts his arms around her.
She keeps saying it, for a long time, until she stops crying.
Tom never asks her again.
*
"I don't know." Tom puts his guitar down. "Can we listen to both takes?"
Max says, "Yeah, sure," and plays them one after the other.
Both Tom and Sean shake their heads.
"Still not it," Sean says.
"I have an idea," Max says. "Can I?"
Tom hands over his guitar. "Go for it, man."
Max changes the tempo of the bridge, switches the chorus to a G.
Sean and Tom exchange looks, a smile growing on Sean's face.
"Do that again," Sean says, and he sings along this time.
On the way home, Tom says, "We're going to need another guitarist."
"Max, if he wants it." Sean bumps against his shoulder. "He's practically your brother-in-law. You ask him."
*
Tom puts a stop to it the first time Ryan bitches about Max needing a closed door to pee or change his clothes. Max has a right to his own shit. This band is going to form itself around the people in it, not hurt them and throw them out if their edges don't line up.
*
Max is never the last one to practice, ever, and Tom didn't see him after the show last night.
It's Ryan who asks, "Where'd you disappear to last night?" when he finally shows up.
Max mumbles something while he gets his amp set up.
Ryan, of course, doesn't let up. "Did you hook up with that girl? She was all over you."
Max doesn't answer, but the blush and the smile fighting their way across his face say it for him. On the one hand, Tom's proud. On the other hand, he fervently hopes Danielle never asks him anything about it.
"Way to go, man!" Ryan puts his hand up for a high-five that Max returns. Ryan turns to point at each of them in turn. "First times."
Max and Tom say, "No!" at the same time.
Ryan frowns, then says, "Fine, everyone but Tom."
Max's smile dims.
"Dude," Tom says, "just count us in. None of us are drunk enough for you to interrogate us about our sex lives."
Max makes a face at him, presumably at the thought of his sex life, but his smile comes back after that.
*
Max pushes his glasses up. "I'm going to need some time away from the band, a couple of weeks over Christmas."
"What for?" Sean asks.
Max looks down. "Just family stuff, you know."
There's something not right about it that Tom can't put his finger on, and as they get closer to Christmas, Danielle gets more and more wound up too.
"Are you okay?" He asks it when they're in the car, stopped in front of his apartment, so she doesn't have to look at him if she doesn't want to.
"Yeah, no." She lets go of her death grip on the steering wheel to wave her hand. "It's just family shit, and I'd tell you about it if I could, but I can't."
Tom leans over and hugs her as best he can from the passenger seat. He hates that there's something she can't share with him, but she's still here with him. "Love you."
She nods against his shoulder. "Love you too."
*
Even though it's January in Chicago, Max is wearing just a long-sleeve t-shirt when they get back to practice.
Tom has a camera with him, and he lifts it to his eye, watching Max through it, trying to figure out what's different. The only thing he can pinpoint is that Max is being careful about what he lifts and how high.
Tom snaps one photo, Max settling his guitar over his chest, and puts down the camera. "Hey, man, you alright?"
"Yeah." Max smiles, wider, lighter, happier than Tom has ever seen him. "Yeah, I'm great."
(no subject)
Date: 2011-03-28 06:33 am (UTC)Tom just accepts Max as Dani's brother and it never even occurs to him to question gender. Which totally makes sense, I've doubt I've ever questioned "original" gender without some serious hints.
(no subject)
Date: 2011-03-28 10:11 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2011-03-28 05:54 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2011-03-28 10:11 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2011-03-28 11:14 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2011-03-29 02:44 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2011-03-29 08:01 pm (UTC)(Fandom: making me care about people I couldn't pick out of a lineup since 2004. *g*)
(no subject)
Date: 2011-03-29 11:38 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2011-04-02 05:19 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2011-04-03 12:57 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2011-04-02 05:21 am (UTC)Beautiful, Ruth.
(no subject)
Date: 2011-04-03 12:57 am (UTC)