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rsadelleMaster Post
Mike doesn't really know how these things happen to him. No, wait, he does. He can totally blame it on Bill. Bill is the one who's always thought being friends with Pete is a good idea. Mike knows better, and has expressed said knowledge many times before. It never seems to get through.
The alcohol is helping. Sort of. It does nothing to stop the "Hey, pretty girl" comments he's getting from everyone from Bill to Patrick to seemingly sweet Greta. It does mean he doesn't care as much.
"This was a shitty idea," Mike says when he finally gets near Pete. He thinks about throwing a punch, but he's probably already drunk enough that it wouldn't connect.
"No, no, dude, this was an awesome idea." Pete grins at him.
Mike gestures at himself, babydoll tee with "SLUT" spelled out in glitter across the chest, skirt short enough to put most of his thighs on display, thankfully flat but also glittery shoes. "This was not an awesome idea."
"Pete! Awesome idea!" Brendon careens into Pete's side, hugs him tight, and bounces off again. He would think it was awesome. Pete assigned him to be Robin to Spencer's Batman.
Jon's apparently on Brendon duty, because he follows along in his wake and tosses, "Nice legs, dude," at Mike on his way past. Bastard knows not to get too close with a line like that. Mike doesn't even want to think about what it's going to be like when the hair starts growing back. At least he'll be wearing pants so no one will notice. Except everyone he knows is here, which means they'll all know.
He gets another drink.
*
Kevin doesn't really know how these things happen to him. It's possible he was a disobedient lemur in a past life and this is how the universe is letting him make amends. Or maybe there's like, some kind of quota for number of crazy things a person has to do in his life, and fate's just helping him along. But probably, probably it's just Joe's fault.
It was Joe's idea to go out for pizza in the middle of the night on Halloween, and it was Joe who wouldn't let him be a zebra and made them be the T-Birds instead. Even Nick's quiet observation that "At least it wasn't the Pink Ladies" didn't make him much happier about it. He really wanted to be a zebra. Or, like, a cheetah. Something with a pattern.
So it's Joe's fault he's in a crowded pizza parlor on what is technically the day after Halloween when a girl in a really, really, really short skirt knocks into him and he reaches out to grab her so she doesn't fall and gets a handful of her waist where it's bare between her shirt and her skirt.
"Are you okay?" Kevin asks, or starts to ask, because he looks at her halfway through the question and she's beautiful and he kind of forgets how to speak.
"Let go of me," she says, or Kevin thinks she does. Now that he's noticing her, he can tell she's pretty drunk, and her words kind of slur together into one surprisingly deep tangle of syllables. She pushes at him, but when he lets go she starts to sway, and Kevin grabs at her again.
A guy dressed liked a tree - probably a willow, by the way his arms are all long and drapey, although maybe that's just the way his arms are - turns around from where he's talking to a guy dressed as a crocodile, or maybe an alligator - the difference is something about their teeth, and this guy just has regular old human teeth - and looks all the way down at Kevin and the girl.
"How kind of you," the tree says, "to take care of Mike in such a state of inebriation."
Mike's kind of a weird name for a girl, but Kevin's dressed in a leather jacket that precisely matches his brothers', so he's not really one to judge.
"Gonna kill you," Mike says, but she appears to be talking to the tree and not to Kevin. "'n Pete."
"No way," some other guy says, and when Kevin turns his head to look, Batman, Robin, the Joker, and a scowling Harley Quinn are standing on Mike's other side. "This is Pete's best idea ever." Robin punctuates this statement with a lot of grinning.
"Kevin," Joe whines, and Kevin jumps and twists his head to the other side where his brothers are now standing next to him, "why is it taking you so long to get our pizza?"
"Sorry," Kevin says, but Mike cuts in before he can explain.
"What are you?" She's still slurring her words and leaning heavier and heavier on Kevin, but it's clear enough what she means.
"The T-Birds!" Joe proclaims. He turns around to show off the back of the jackets to anyone who will look.
Mike doesn't look impressed. Or maybe she's trying not to throw up. She's not doing a very good job of standing up. She takes like half a step forward and slumps back against Kevin. He wraps his other arm around her too to keep her up.
The tree takes charge of things. "If you young gentlemen would take Mike and find us all a table, Ryan will spring for pizza."
"I will not," the scowling Harley Quinn says. "Spencer can do it."
Batman rolls his eyes. "We'll split it." He tips Robin towards the Joker. "Go with them."
So Nick and Joe pull tables together while Kevin tries to keep Mike from falling over long enough to push her into the booth Nick and Joe are building up into a table that's almost big enough to be from that scene in Batman.
*
Mike's pretty drunk, but he's still pretty sure the guy he's somehow leaning against is hitting on him. Maybe. The guy hasn't stopped touching him anyway. Of course, the guy is dressed ridiculously precisely for after midnight on Halloween, and who perfectly coordinates their Halloween costumes with their brothers anyway?
"So that's Kevin," the one with straightened hair says, pointing at the guy whose arm is still around Mike's waist. "I'm Joe, and this," he wraps his arm around the other guy's shoulder and gives him a noogie, "is Nick."
Nick shoves at Joe. "Knock it off."
Joe shoves back. Their see-sawing is making Mike even more nauseous than he already is. He drops his head down onto the table. This is the worst Halloween ever.
"Hey, Mike," Kevin says, and his pointy fingers poke at Mike's shoulder. "Are you okay?"
There's a rush of sound, voices and things clunking down onto the table, and then somehow Kevin's pressed even closer to Mike. It feels surprisingly good. It must be because it's late and getting cold.
"See if you can get him to drink this," Bill says, and then Kevin's arm around him tugs him back up.
"Your friend brought you some water," Kevin says. Mike has no idea how anyone can be that earnest. He just stares at the glass in front of him. Picking it up is starting to seem like a lot of effort. "You want a straw?" Kevin reaches out to a pile of straws and grabs one. He pushes it out of the wrapper one-handed and plunks it into the glass. "This would be so much better if we had bendy straws," Kevin says. "Bendy straws are awesome. Do you like bendy straws?"
Mike leans forward and sucks at the straw. This is not a conversation he needs to have. Drinking isn't much better. Water's only going to sober him up, and he doesn't know why Bill didn't get him something with some taste. Like a Coke. Or a beer. He could really go for a beer.
His water glass is empty in what seems like no time, and, like magic, a hand appears with a pitcher and refills it.
Mike has lost, uh, something, because the next thing he knows Bill's putting a plate with a slice of pizza on it in front of him and Kevin's arm is back around his waist and Kevin's thumb is making circles on the bare skin between Mike's skirt and the shirt he's given up pulling down to meet it.
The pizza is pretty much the best thing ever, and Kevin's thumb stutters and then picks up its rhythm again when Mike moans at the first bite. Definitely hitting on him.
*
So Mike eats pizza like she's never eaten anything before, and when she finishes the first piece, she licks sauce and grease off of her fingers before demanding someone pass the pizza down so she can get another slice. She's also incredibly warm against Kevin's side, and the skin under his hand is soft and smooth.
Kevin's not paying a lot of attention to the conversation Joe and Nick are having with Mike's friends until one of them says her name.
"Mike's our guitarist," the tree says - no, wait, his name is Bill.
"You play guitar?" Kevin asks. "So do I." He beams at Mike.
"What? In your mom's garage?" Mike's sobering up; it comes out pretty clear.
"No," Kevin says, "in a band. The Jonas Brothers."
Mike squints at him. "Part of their backing band?"
Across the table, Nick and Joe both look like they're about to laugh. Kevin kicks out and hits Joe, going by the way it's Joe who says, "Ouch!"
"No," Kevin says. He waves his hands at his brothers. "We're the Jonas Brothers. The three of us."
Mike blinks at him a couple of times. Her eyeshadow sparkles in the light every time her eyes close. She grabs Kevin's hand on her hip and drags it up. Kevin has to scoot closer to her for it to work. Not that he minds.
"So this," she says, touching Kevin's ring, and she's really sober enough for her words to be clear now, "is one of those purity rings."
Kevin is more used to answering questions about this than he wants to be, so he just says, "Yes," and doesn't look down the table where some of Mike's friends - he thinks it's Chiz and Sisky, certainly the crocodile - he's Australian, so not an alligator - and the sponge - are laughing at them.
But all Mike says is, "Huh," and then she drops Kevin's hand back onto her hip. Mike seems to care more about reaching for another slice of pizza than she does about Kevin's ring.
*
Mike's like four slices of pizza and three glasses of water in when he realizes he's pretty much sober again, and that is no way to spend Halloween in drag being hit on by one of the fucking Jonas Brothers.
He leans around Kevin to peer down the table. For some reason the pitchers on the table do not include one of beer. He frowns at Bill. "Are we being good for the kids?"
"You've had enough for one evening," Bill says primly, and that's bullshit because Bill has been plenty drunk plenty of times and Mike's never cut him off.
Mike flips him off and tries not to notice the way it makes Kevin practically flinch.
Bill passes a pitcher down. "Have some of this instead." The pitcher's three-quarters full of orange soda. No one drinks orange soda. But it's better than water, so Mike sucks down the last of the water in his glass and refills it with soda. And, actually the soda tastes really good. It would be perfect with a bendy straw. Fuck, they've been hanging out with these kids for too long.
"Hey, Bill," Jon says, "you gonna spring for cookies?" Because of course Bill found them a pizza place that also sells pizza-sized cookies.
"We'll get the cookies," Joe says. He takes Nick with him, which means Mike can finally stretch his legs out under the table. Unfortunately, it also means he's pretty much alone with Kevin at his end of the table, and Bill's making what he probably thinks is a subtle face of encouragement.
Mike doesn't need encouragement. Mike can make his own moves. No, wait. Mike doesn't need encouragement because he doesn't want to make a move on a Jonas Brother. Even if that Jonas Brother is surprisingly comfortable to lean on.
Mike might still be a little bit drunk.
"Were you at a party?" Kevin asks. "Before you came here?"
Mike stares at him. It's Halloween where else would he have been? Sadly, having his legs stretched out toward the other side of the booth means they're in Bill's kicking range. It hurts, and the fucker better not have left dirt or bruises on Mike's leg.
"Yes," he answers, and then, because he's pretty sure he can't talk about the party without saying it, "fucking Pete."
Kevin looks a little less scandalized than he did about Mike flipping Bill off. If Mike had to, he'd guess the rest of the table hasn't been censoring their language just because there are Disney stars around.
"We sort of had a family party," Kevin says, "but mostly we took Frankie - he's our younger brother, he's asleep by now, which is why we didn't bring him with us - trick-or-treating."
Mike doesn't want to know, really doesn't, but he finds himself asking, "Was he Danny Zuko?"
Kevin grins at him, broad and bright. "No. He refused to go along with Joe's plan and got to go as a pirate." Kevin frowns. "I wanted to be a zebra."
Oh, God. Mike's being hit on by a Jonas Brother whose idea of a good Halloween costume is a vegetarian zoo animal.
*
Joe and Nick come back with two of the biggest cookies Kevin has ever seen. Each one of them takes up a whole pizza pan. Tray? Whatever those things are that pizzas are served on when you eat at the pizza place.
In the shuffling that happens to get them back into their seats and cookie slices distributed, Mike somehow ends up pressed even closer to him. Kevin wonders if he can ask for her number.
They each get slices of both kinds of cookies - one chocolate chip, one sugar with lots of frosting. The frosting catches on Mike's lips, replacing the lipstick or gloss that was already mostly coming off, at least until she licks it off.
Kevin almost forgets how to chew.
He looks away hurriedly and finds Bill watching him. "Give me your phone," Bill says, his hand held out in command.
Kevin pulls his phone out of his pocket and hands it over. Bill spends too much time with it to be putting in just his number, and Mike says, "You suck," which Kevin hopes means Bill is giving him her number too.
He must be, because he hits something else, and then frowns at Mike. "Where's your phone?"
"This fucking skirt doesn't have pockets." When Kevin turns to look, Mike looks both annoyed and faintly embarrassed. "All I have is my key and a twenty tucked into this fucking bra. I don't know how girls do this."
Kevin can vaguely hear someone saying, "They carry purses," and Joe saying, "Kevin carries a purse" - thanks a lot, Joe - but mostly he's just staring at Mike. Mike who does not have a weird name for a girl because Mike is not actually a girl. Which doesn't actually make him any less pretty - Or should it be hot? Can you call a guy pretty? - or his warmth against Kevin's side feel any less amazing.
Mike says, "What?" and Kevin realizes his staring has passed over into rude.
Kevin smiles at him automatically. "Nothing."
Mike hunches in on himself a little and says, "I need a fucking cigarette." He leans forward, away from and looking around Kevin. "One of you fuckers has to have a cigarette."
There are a lot of headshakes.
"Urie, man, come on," Mike says.
Robin - Brendon, Kevin thought, but maybe Urie is some kind of nickname - shakes his head and says, "Spencer wouldn't let me put any in his utility belt."
Kevin wonders why he didn't just carry them in his own utility belt, but even having known him for only an hour or so, he thinks it's probably better not to ask.
"Fuck." Mike thumps his head down onto the table. Kevin catches the plate with the rest of his cookie on it and pulls it away before Mike can get frosting in his hair.
Bill's arm reaches out - he's really, really tall, but even this seems excessive - and he pats Mike's head. "I'm afraid it's time for us to take our leave. He's only going to get crankier, and he refuses to buy cigarettes in California."
There's a whole bunch of chaos while everyone takes last bites of food or sips of drinks and Nick and Joe insist on putting the tables back where they were with the dubious assistance of the Batman contingent.
Mike's not stumbling anymore, which means Kevin doesn't have an excuse to touch him. He hovers just behind Mike on the way out anyway. Just in case. He's watching close enough that he sees Mike shiver when they get outside. His outfit is probably not very warm.
Kevin shrugs out of his jacket and takes two steps so he's next to Mike instead of behind him. "Here."
Mike stops moving and turns to stare at him.
Kevin holds out his jacket. "It's cold." He doesn't have enough experience to be smooth about loaning a girl his coat, but Mike's not really a girl, so maybe it doesn't matter.
Mike peers at him suspiciously, but he takes Kevin's jacket from him, pulls it on, and zips it up.
Kevin feels like he could be the guy in the movie giving the girl his letterman's jacket. The T-Birds' leather jackets are pretty much the same thing.
When a couple of cabs pull up, Bill comes over to tuck his hand through Mike's elbow. "We'll call you," he tosses over his shoulder as he guides Mike into one of the cabs.
Kevin watches until the cab turns the corner, but Mike doesn't look back at him. And now he's the one who's too cold without a jacket.
"I had these custom made," Joe complains when Kevin turns back to his brothers.
Nick shakes his head. "You're both idiots. Mike or Bill will call tomorrow, so you," he points at Kevin, "will get to see Mike again and you," he points at Joe, "will get your matching jacket back."
*
Mike wakes up with his phone ringing insistently. Usually, he's pretty good about turning it off at night, even when he's plastered, but apparently not having it actually on him last night meant he forgot.
He picks it up and thumbs the button to accept the call without looking to see who it is. "What the fuck?"
"Mike!" Bill always sounds way too cheerful the morning after a good party. "Get out of bed, take a shower, and meet us for breakfast. After that, we'll go find your new paramour and return his jacket."
Mike buries his head in his pillow and turns off his phone by feel.
Bill is a persistent fucker, though, so there's a really loud banging on his door before Mike can fall asleep again. He swears at Bill all the way to the door.
"Fuck off," he says, when he opens the door. It's not going to work, but he does it anyway.
"Nonsense," Bill says, and he tugs Butcher, Chiz, and Sisky in with him.
It's Butcher who looks him up and down and says, "You look like you should be doing a walk of shame."
Mike flips him off and locks himself in the bathroom. He is. not at his best. He managed to get out of the bra before he went to bed, but he's still wearing the panties. At least he'd managed to talk Bill out of the lace. He didn't get the makeup off either, and it's smeared in the night. He would not look out of place doing a walk of shame.
A shower doesn't actually make him feel that much better - it's probably going to take at least a couple of hours of sleep to do that - but at least he no longer looks like he spent the night in the remains of his Halloween costume.
He ignores his supposed friends' comments about his legs while he gets dressed, and then scowls at them until they tumble out of his room and downstairs for breakfast.
He mainlines coffee and eggs and bacon and figures it's too much to hope that Bill will give it up.
"His number's in your phone," Bill says.
"Because you put it there." Mike stuffs the last piece of bacon in his mouth, hoping for a chance to finish it before Bill tries to make him do something stupid. Something else stupid, anyway.
"Only so you could call him. You were awfully cozy."
"I was drunk and it was cold." Mike's sliding into sulky. He hates that. "I would have cuddled up to Gabe."
Jackpot.
"You would not." William points at him. "He would never. I am Gabe's snugglebud." Then he stops, sits back in his chair, and crosses his arms over his chest. "This is not about Gabe. This is about you and Kevin Jonas." He points again, less accusing and more, well, pointed. "Call him."
"I'm not calling him." Mike can be stubborn too.
He only realizes the problem with this when Bill pulls out his phone. Shit. He probably put Kevin's number into his phone too.
In about ninety seconds, Bill's going to insist he talk to Kevin too. Mike heads back to the buffet and hangs around getting tiny bits of everything until Bill hangs up the phone and points at him again.
"Eat quickly," Bill tells him. "We're going to visit your young man, and you still have to go up and get his jacket from your room."
Mike plans to go up and not come back. Bill anticipates him, though, and sends Chiz with him. Bastard. Bill, not Chiz. Although the fact that Chiz is helping him makes him kind of a bastard too. At least Chiz doesn't pester him in the elevator.
Mike could really go for a drink. Bill's at the wheel of the car, though, on the way to wherever it is the Jonases live - and, oh, fuck, he's going to visit the fucking Jonas Brother who hit on him while he was in a skirt - and when Bill's on a mission, there are no detours for alcohol. No matter how much Mike thinks it would make this a better morning. He should've ordered something with breakfast.
Some kid answers the door, and not a kid like the Jonas Brothers, but an actual kid. He stares up at them, and Bill stares down at him.
"Is Kevin in?" Bill asks.
The kid yells, "Kevin! Your friends are here!" without taking his eyes off of Bill, and then he turns around and disappears into the house, leaving them on the porch and the door wide open.
"Frankie, manners," Kevin calls after him, and then he practically beams right at Mike. "Come in," he invites, and Bill starts right into the house, thwarting Mike's plan to hand over the jacket and get out of there.
Mike hands him the jacket on the way into the house. "Thanks."
Kevin keeps smiling at him. "You're welcome." And then he leans closer and stage whispers, "I would have let you keep it, but Joe had them custom made and wants to keep the set together."
"I heard that," Joe says from not very much farther into the house.
Kevin makes a face at his brother. "I wanted to be a zebra anyway."
Mike should not be finding this cute. Mike is hardcore. Mike does not find things cute. Well, puppies, but everyone finds puppies cute. And it's a long way from puppies to a Jonas Brother.
"Why a zebra?" Mike finds himself asking as Kevin and Joe lead them through the house. He doesn't know why he asks. It's not like he really cares.
But it makes Kevin's face light up, and no, no, no, Mike is not going to like this guy.
"They have the coolest stripes. Did you know that zebras will stand next to black and white stripes, even if they're painted on a wall?"
Mike does not - does not - wish he had a cool zebra fact to add to that.
They end up in the dining room where Kevin introduces them all to his parents. His mom is hot.
"Meeting the parents on the second date," Bill murmurs to him. Mike jabs an elbow into his stomach.
*
"We've been working on a new concept for our next tour." Kevin waves at the plans, models, and cost projections spread out over the end of the table away from the muffins left over from breakfast. "Last time we had a stage that moved," he points at the model, "but we don't want to do the same thing all the time.
Mom cuts in to tell them, "Kevin built all the models himself."
Kevin's usually not embarrassed by all the dorky things he does, but he doesn't know very many people like Mike. And Mike is, well, even hotter in his regular clothes than he was in a skirt. There's something about him that says he's comfortable with himself, and maybe a little dangerous.
He's also turning a critical eye on Kevin's cost projections.
"We're lucky if we get a backdrop." And, right, Mike's in a band Kevin hasn't had a chance to google yet. "How much do transportation costs factor into it?"
Kevin sorts through the stack of papers until he can find the relevant line items. "It depends on gas prices, of course."
Mike lets out a low whistle. "Yeah." He hands the papers back to Kevin and pokes at one of the models. Kevin knows everything about the models, so he can tell that as indelicate as it looks, Mike's not actually doing anything that could damage them.
"Joe says you're a musician, too," Mom says to Mike, which means Joe's said more than just that. Traitor.
"Guitarist," Mike confirms, and he smiles at her. He has a really nice smile that turns his cheeks into curving bookends to his mouth. Kevin wants to Mike smile like that for him.
"And what's the name of your band?" Mom can get away with asking that. Moms aren't supposed to be cool enough to know about bands.
"The Academy Is." Mike shrugs a little. "We're out of Chicago, done a couple of national tours, couple of overseas tours."
Chicago is a long way away. But Kevin's a successful rock star with lots of frequent flier miles. Kevin might also be getting ahead of himself. Just because he thinks Mike is hot doesn't mean Mike's interested in him.
"How long are you in L.A.?" Mom asks.
"Coupla days." Mike pushes his hair back. "We're filming a video, doing some interviews, and then we're heading back home."
Kevin's pretty much staring at Mike, so he sees it when Mike's eyes flicker sideways to look at him. Maybe there's hope.
"I know the best place for milkshakes in all of L.A.," is what comes out of Kevin's mouth. "We should go while you're here."
Bill enters Kevin's field of vision when he drapes an arm around Mike and says, "We have to be going, but Mike's free this evening."
Kevin likes Bill.
*
Mike hates Bill. "Fuck you," he says. "This isn't funny."
"No, no," Bill says. "This is so completely sweet."
Mike turns a glare on him. "A Disney star is coming to pick me up to take me out for a milkshake. This is all your fault."
Bill pats him on the cheek. "I'm just trying to help you out. You liked him, and you haven't been on a date in a while."
"I didn't like him, and I get laid plenty." Mike is dangerously close to pouting. This is what hanging out with Disney people does to people.
"You get laid, but you don't make an actual connection to anyone."
Mike could do without Bill's obsession with pairing people off. Before he can say anything about it, a car pulls to a stop in front of where they're loitering in front of the hotel and Kevin hops out.
"Hi!" He's wearing jeans that cling to his thighs, a button-down that's open at the neck, and an honest to God sweater vest. It's completely ridiculous, and he's pretty much the hottest thing Mike's ever seen.
Mike's wearing a pair of jeans that he's pretty sure got washed before they came out to L.A. and a clean black t-shirt.
"Hi."
Bill pushes him forward, and Mike shoots him a dirty look before getting into the car. Kevin holds the door and closes it behind him.
The car's windows are rolled halfway down, so Mike can hear Bill admonishing Kevin to bring him back at a reasonable hour, and Kevin's answering, "Yes, sir. I have a curfew I don't want to break either."
Mike is not actually a teenage girl and Bill is not his father. He holds his hand out the window and flips Bill off as Kevin pulls away from the curb. It's marginally satisfying.
"So the milkshake place has awesome burgers, too," Kevin says, "but I don't know if you like burgers so if you want, we can get dinner somewhere else."
Mike's mouth waters. It's been a long time since lunch, and Bill keeps making them eat at strange and pretentious places, last night's pizza notwithstanding. "I like burgers." Which is possibly the stupidest possible way to answer that.
"Awesome." Kevin flashes him a smile and turns up the radio as he pulls onto the freeway.
*
Betty's is Kevin's favorite place to eat in all of L.A.. It's a diner that looks like it walked - or was transplanted, since diners can't actually walk - right out of a movie, but it's real, not one of those retro places that's trying too hard. And it has the best milkshakes in all of Southern California. Maybe even the world. Kevin hasn't been everywhere yet.
The vinyl on Kevin's side of the booth is cracked, and their waitress is named Marge. She's been Kevin's waitress before, and even though she calls him "hon," he's pretty sure she doesn't actually recognize him.
Kevin knows what he's going to order, so he scopes out the other people in the place while Mike looks at the menu. There's a family halfway across the room with a couple of kids sharing crayons and laughing, and a group of teenagers who seem to be on a date of some sort. There's a guy at the counter reading a newspaper, and another one staring down into a coffee cup.
He looks back at Mike to find Mike has put down his menu and is watching him. Kevin's smile feels awkward, and he grasps for something to say.
Mike beats him to it. "Nice place."
"Totally," Kevin agrees. "And I was serious about the milkshakes. Amazing."
Marge comes back then to take their order. Kevin gets a cheeseburger, fries, and a strawberry milkshake. Mike orders the bacon cheeseburger, fries, and a cherry chocolate chip milkshake.
"So," Kevin says, and he doesn't really have anything to follow it up with.
"So," Mike repeats. He could be just smiling or he could be laughing at Kevin. Like, on the inside.
"Why were you a girl?" Kevin blurts out. He's been wondering ever since he woke up and remembered the night before.
Mike grimaces. "Fucking Pete."
Kevin remembers hearing him say that last night.
"You know who Pete Wentz is, right?"
Kevin nods. "We met him on some MTV thing once."
"Okay, right." Mike runs his hand through his hair. "Pete had a Halloween party for a bunch of us who know each other," Mike waves his hand around, "toured together, on his label, whatever, and he assigned costumes."
"You were a girl because someone else told you to be?"
"You didn't get to be what you wanted either," Mike says.
Kevin beams at him. It's probably meant to be an insult, but it means Mike remembers. "Joe's kind of a force of nature that way."
"Pete too." Mike smiles at him.
Marge brings their milkshakes, and Kevin takes a spoon to the whipped cream on the top of his. His hand shakes and the spoon clatters against his teeth when Mike actually moans.
"You were not kidding about the milkshakes."
Kevin stares for a little too long, because his brain is stuck on the wholly inappropriate thought that this must be what Mike looks like when he's having sex.
"No," Kevin finally says. "Best in L.A."
*
Mike's surprised by how much fun he has. Kevin's actually knowledgeable about guitar, even if his musical taste could use some work, and he has some good tour stories, even if the Jonas Brothers' idea of wild and crazy is pretty tame. The burgers are good, and the milkshakes really are the best he's had in a damn long time. They share - "split," Kevin insists - a banana split for dessert.
Mike's reluctant to say goodbye when Kevin brings him back to the hotel, and Kevin seems to be on the same page. He turns off the car but doesn't seem in a hurry to leave.
"This was great," Kevin says. "Thanks for coming with me." He grins a little. "I love a good excuse to eat junk food."
"Disney doesn't let you eat junk food?"
"Disney doesn't care as long as I'm not caught drinking. It's Nick and Mom who don't like the junk food."
Mike leans back against the door and looks at Kevin. "Aren't you the oldest brother?"
"Yeah, what about it?"
"Why do you let your brothers boss you around?"
"Nick's the reason we are where we are today, and Joe's obnoxious when he doesn't get his way." Kevin shrugs. "It's easier to just let them have their way. Besides, they listen to me on the things I know about."
Mike shakes his head. "I could never do that. Bill and I fight all the time."
"But you went along with Pete's costume assignment."
Mike grimaces. "That's different. It's Pete. I think the only person who argues with Pete is Patrick."
Kevin grins. "That sounds like Nick and Joe." Something beeps, and Kevin looks down at his watch, and then frowns. "Shoot," he says. Mike refuses to find it cute. "I have to go. I wasn't kidding about having a curfew." He smiles a little sheepishly. "That one's all Mom and Dad. Living under their roof and all that."
"Oh, yeah. I guess I should go too." Mike tries and doesn't quite succeed at smiling. "Stuff to do tomorrow."
"Yeah." Kevin doesn't quite smile either. He pushes open his door, so Mike opens his too and gets out of the car. Kevin comes around to his side and closes Mike's door behind him. "So," he says.
"So," Mike says.
Kevin really does smile at him this time. "This was awesome."
Mike smiles back. "Yeah," he agrees. "Thanks for dinner."
"Thank you." Kevin ducks in and hugs Mike. It's not one of those hugs where people just kind of pat you on the back and then step away. It's the real thing, where Kevin has both arms solid around him and hangs on, and Mike doesn't know very many people who hug like this, so after a moment where he's confused, he hugs back. He breathes deeply, just because he needs to breathe, and if it brings in the smell of Kevin's shampoo and cologne, that's just incidental.
"We should totally keep in touch," Kevin says when he lets go after what seems like forever and no time at all. "Bill called you from my phone last night so you have my number, and I have yours."
"Yeah," Mike says, and he can't help smiling because it's really pretty adorable the way Kevin's so earnest about it. "I remember."
They stand there smiling at each other for a little while longer.
"So," Kevin says, "I guess I should go." He pulls his keys out of his pocket and does this ridiculous sort of half wave with them.
"I guess so. Thanks again." Mike forces himself to start walking toward the hotel doors. He doesn't let himself turn and look until he's inside the lobby. Kevin waves at him from the car, and Mike watches his tail lights as they pull out of the parking lot. Then he turns around and walks to the elevator.
*
"Hey, I forgot to ask, how was your date?" Joe asks three days later.
Kevin doesn't remember being on a date. "What date?"
"With Mike."
Kevin laughs. Date. "It was fun. We went to Betty's and talked about guitar. Mike knows a lot."
"Don't let Nick know you were eating diner food," Joe warns.
"I won't if you won't," Kevin says. Nick is scary when he's mad.
"Deal," Joe agrees. "You gonna call him?"
"Why would I call Nick?"
Joe sighs heavily. It's his I'm so disappointed in you sigh. "Mike," he says. "Are you going to call Mike?"
Oh. Kevin thinks about it. He liked spending time with Mike. He'd like to spend more time with Mike. Mike lives in Chicago. Kevin has frequent flyer miles. "Maybe?"
"You should call him. He seemed to like you."
Kevin perks up. "You think so?" Mike seemed to enjoy hanging out with Kevin at Betty's, but that just might've been the milkshakes.
Joe actually rolls his eyes. "He went out with you."
Kevin frowns. "Bill had to practically shove him in the car."
"Nick!" Joe yells. "Come tell Kevin he's being an idiot!"
Nick would never tell him he's being an idiot. He might think it, and he might gently suggest that perhaps there's something Kevin's missing, but he would never actually tell him that.
"Mom says don't yell in the house," Nick tells Joe when he comes up the stairs to join them.
"Tell Kevin he's being an idiot," Joe demands.
"I'm not doing that," Nick says. Kevin was totally right.
"Then tell him Mike liked him."
Nick stares at both of them. "Of course Mike liked you," he says to Kevin. "He let you take him to dinner. I don't think Mike is the kind of guy who would do that if he didn't want to."
Kevin frowns. Nick wouldn't say it if he didn't mean it, but he didn't have the same conversation with Mike that Kevin did. "Someone else made him dress up as a girl for Halloween. He might've let someone else push him into going out to dinner with me."
"He liked you," Nick says with crushing finality. "Are you going to call him?"
"I don't know," Kevin says. He really wants to, but he doesn't know what the rules are with this. He's never hung out with a guy like Mike before.
Now Nick looks disappointed in him too. "If you want to call him, you should." He glares at Joe. "Can I go back to what I was doing now?"
*
"So," Bill says, drawing it out into the longest syllable Mike has ever heard. "You call Kevin yet?"
Mike doesn't look up from his guitar. Travel always fucks with the tuning, no matter how much it shouldn't. "No."
Bill leans over him with a hand on his shoulder. "You should call him."
Mike shrugs his hand away.
"You liked him," Bill says. "You were so happy when you got back from your date."
Sisky and Butcher wander into the practice space. They both have coffee. Mike wishes he'd thought to stop for some. Maybe Bill would be easier to deal with if he had.
"It wasn't a date," he mutters.
"Oh, Michael," Bill says. "That was a date if I've ever seen one. He picked you up and promised to bring you back at a reasonable hour."
Mike finally looks up to glare at Bill. "Yes," he says, "I know. I was there." He's not really sure why they're talking about it now. He had dinner with Kevin - not a date! Just dinner - days ago. They're not even in the same state anymore. "Can we play some music now?"
It works for a while, until they take a break.
"Hey," Sisky asks, "you call that Jonas Brother yet?"
"No," Mike says.
"You should." Sisky smiles. "He's cute, and he was into you."
Mike takes a deep breath and reminds himself that he cannot kill his band. "Dude."
Sisky bumps his shoulder against Mike's. "I'm just saying."
They get back to work and the peace lasts until lunch when Chiz and Mike are hanging out waiting for their sandwiches to be done and Chiz says, "You should call Kevin."
Chiz is his best friend, so Mike's willing to cut him a little slack. "You sound like Bill and Sisky."
"Of course I do," Chiz says. "Think about it, Mike. Who in this band has a stable relationship?" The guy behind the counter calls Chiz's name, and he steps away to get his sandwich.
Chiz is his best friend, so Mike does think about it. For a minute. Until his sandwich is ready. Kevin did not take him on a date. No matter how much fun he had hanging out with Kevin, it's not a relationship.
When they're ready to call it a day, Bill plants himself in front of Mike and doesn't let him leave. "This is an intervention," he says. "You need to call Kevin."
"Back off."
"No." Bill points at him. "You liked him. He liked you. This could be something."
Mike makes a note to tell Christine to stop letting Bill watch Lifetime. "Bill," he says, "it's not going to be anything."
Unfortunately for him, Bill is infuriatingly stubborn. "Is this because he's a guy? Because you know none of us care." He waves at Butcher, Chiz, and Sisky, and if Mike doesn't want to be having this conversation, he really doesn't want to be having it with all of them as witnesses. He should probably be glad they're not working with anyone else today.
"Bill," Mike warns.
"We've never cared." Bill grips Mike by the upper arms. "All these years, we've never cared."
Mike really wishes he'd escaped Bill. "I've slept with a lot of women," he says.
"But you've never liked any of them," Bill says very, very gently. Bill is not actually wrong about that.
If Mike can't get out of talking about this, he might as well really talk about it. "I've never liked any of the guys I've slept with either." He doesn't count Pete because he never actually slept with Pete.
"That's not true," Bill says, "but it doesn't matter. You like Kevin."
Mike twists out of Bill's grip. "I didn't sleep with Kevin." If he can get Bill to take two steps to either side, he can get out of here.
Sisky chokes on a cut-off laugh. "Kid wears a purity ring," he says. "Of course you didn't."
"Adam," Bill says, "you're not helping."
"Neither are you," Sisky says.
Bill slides sideways just a little, and Mike can see his escape route opening up.
"I'm merely pointing out," Bill says, "that we already know Mike likes guys, and we're okay with it." He keeps talking, but he's moved out of the way, so Mike ducks around him and out the door.
He can hear Chiz calling out, "Just call him," behind him, but he keeps going straight to his car.
He blasts music on the way home and then flops down on the couch with a beer and the TV remote, happy to be away from his band. He loves them, but Jesus Christ are they a pain in his ass sometimes.
He watches a Simpsons reurn and then channel surfs. He finds himself stopping on the National Geographic Channel where a soothing voice tells him that zebras are equids, which means they're related to horses.
There's a lot of zebra footage, more than Mike has ever seen in his life. When it cuts to a commercial, he learns that he's watching Animals of Africa: Zebras.
And fuck his band, because he gets out his phone and scrolls down to Kevin's number. watching a show about zebras on national geographic channel, he types in. looks cool when they're running
He's learning about the zebra's natural enemies when Kevin texts him back. Is that part of the Animals of Africa series? I had to battle Joe for space on the TiVo to record it.
y, Mike sends. lions just killed one of them
That always looks cool because lions are so powerful, but I'm sad for the zebras who get eaten.
Okay, Mike admits to himself, Kevin Jonas is pretty darn cute.
*
"Sorry, sorry," Kevin apologizes when he flubs another take by grinning when he's not supposed to.
"Dude," Joe says, "what's up with you today?"
"Sorry," Kevin says again. He shakes himself out and says, "Okay. Let's do this."
This time he keeps his grin inside until they get through the take and the director calls, "Cut!" and sends them home for the day.
"Seriously," Joe says on the way to their dressing room, "what's up with you? You were fine until this afternoon."
"Nothing's up." Kevin's pretty sure his smile proves that's a lie.
"You've been humming 'The Lion Sleeps Tonight' all afternoon," Nick says. He wasn't in the last scene, so he's already in his own clothes playing guitar on their dressing room couch. "Our next album is not going to have a jungle theme."
So maybe Kevin has been humming that all afternoon. "Lions don't actually live in the jungle."
"Fine," Nick says, "then our next album isn't going to have a savanna theme." He puts his guitar down and comes out into the hall where he looks Kevin up and down. "What?"
"What what?" Kevin asks.
"See?" Joe waves his arms around like he's making a point. Kevin doesn't know what kind of point that could be.
"Yes," Nick says. He crosses his arms over his chest and turns a serious look on Kevin. "What happened today that made you grin like that?"
Kevin tries to tone it down. He's not sure it works. "Nothing."
"You're lying," Nick says flatly. "What happened?"
Kevin caves. "Mike texted me about watching zebras on Animals of Africa."
Joe reaches up for a high five, and Kevin returns it without stopping to think about it.
"Awesome," Joe says. "I told you he liked you."
Nick rolls his eyes. "Of course he liked you. Would you two get changed so we can go home?"
Joe grabs at Nick and makes a mess of his hair before taking off down the hall toward his dressing room. Nick makes a face and tries to smooth it down with his hands. Kevin goes to his dressing room so he doesn't get blamed for it.
He can't stop grinning, and it makes him grin even more every time he catches sight of himself in the mirror.
He keeps grinning in the car home, and he's the oldest, so when he gets home, he gets to tell Frankie to get off the Wii and let him have the TV so he can watch Animals of Africa. The zebras do look cool running, and he cringes when the lions take down one of them.
He pauses the show and texts Mike: Watching Animals of Africa. Lions killing a zebra. :(((((
He hits play and watches until his phone buzzes, when he pauses it again.
circle of life, the text from Mike says.
It's not very comforting, but after the episode is over, he convinces the whole family to have movie night and watch The Lion King and sing along with all the songs.
He surreptitiously texts Mike: It moves us all through despair and hope, through faith and love, 'til we find our place on the path unwinding in the circle, the circle of life.
Mike texts back, you really do belong to disney
*
Mike's phone rings. He glances down at the display and grins. "Hey."
"Hi," Kevin says. "Aren't you supposed to be working?"
"Lunch break," Mike says. "Finally. Bill's on a tear today." Then he frowns. "Hey, what are you doing calling me if you think I'm not going to answer?"
Kevin's laugh, half chuckle, half giggle, makes Mike smile again.
"I just saw the most amazing guitar. I was going to leave you a message if you didn't answer."
The sandwich guy calls Mike's name, and he steps forward to get his sandwich. "Okay, so what was so amazing about this guitar?"
Kevin giggles again. "It was covered, completely covered in those fake plastic jewel things. All kinds of colors and shapes."
"You didn't buy it, did you?" Mike slides into the only empty chair at their table. The rest of his band has shoved two small tables together, and it leaves Mike sitting in the aisle with barely enough space for his sandwich and his drink on the table. His band can be dicks sometimes.
"No, but Joe threatened to buy it for Nick for Christmas."
Mike grins. "I'll bet Nick loved that." Over the last two weeks, he's talked and texted with Kevin enough to know what his brothers are like.
"He threatened to disown Joe and throw him out of the band." Kevin's laughing as he says it. "And then Joe said he was just trying to keep it real."
Now Mike laughs. "I don't think Joe understands the meaning of the phrase." He pulls a dangling piece of turkey out of his sandwich and pops it into his mouth.
"I don't think Joe understands a lot of things," Kevin says, and then he hurries to add, "but he's my brother and I love him anyway."
"You're too nice," Mike teases. The rest of his band is halfway through their sandwiches. They're dicks, so he might not get to eat here. They might make him eat on the walk back.
"It's all the clean living," Kevin says with an aw-shucks country twang. Mike can just about picture the smile that goes with it. "But, hey, I should let you go so you can eat your lunch."
"Yeah, I guess." On the one hand, Mike's hungry. On the other hand, it's Kevin.
"I'll call you later," Kevin promises. "You can tell me about Bill on a tear and I'll tell you about Nick making us redo things eighty times until it's perfect."
"Sounds good," Mike says. "Bye." He waits for Kevin's goodbye, and then clicks his phone off.
"So," Bill drawls, "you and Kevin."
Mike resists the urge to roll his eyes and takes a bite of his sandwich instead.
"That sounded like a pretty familiar conversation." Trust Bill not to give up.
"Kevin spends most of his time with his brothers. I've heard about them a lot." That's maybe a tactical error, because Bill's eyes practically gleam with interest.
"So you've talked to him a lot."
Mike's band is a bunch of dicks. None of them look like they're going to help him out, and Mike just wants to eat his sandwich. "Some."
"Just to clarify," The Butcher asks, "are you or are you not phone dating a Jonas brother?"
Mike doesn't actually know the answer to that question. Kevin's hot, fun to talk to, and surprisingly sharp about the real world. But he's also friendly, and Mike's not sure how much of what they have is Kevin's general outgoing nature and how much of it is the kind of interest Mike has in him. He takes another bite of his sandwich instead of trying to explain anything of the sort.
Sisky manages to drop a chip into The Butcher's drink, which both distracts them from the conversation about Kevin, and keeps them busy long enough for Mike to finish his sandwich.
On the walk back, Chiz bumps his shoulder against Mike's and says, "Glad you finally listened to us."
*
While Big Rob is fussing about the security nightmare, and Dad is trying to use the Jonas name to get them seats together, Kevin wanders a little way away from the family, pulls out his phone and scrolls down to Mike's name.
Mike answers with his customary, "Hey."
"Hi," Kevin says. "I'm going to be in Chicago for five hours this afternoon. Want to have dinner?"
"Yes," Mike says promptly. Then he asks, "Why are you going to be in Chicago for five hours?"
"Thanksgiving is not the time to travel." Kevin turns his back on the busy gate area and looks out the window. "Our original flight got canceled, and they're rebooking us through Chicago."
"Why are you even flying commercial? Aren't you big stars with your own jet?" Mike's teasing tone makes Kevin smile.
"We're suffering on relatability, so Dad thought flying commercial at Thanksgiving would be good PR." Kevin half turns to see how Dad's airline negotiations are going.
"You have such a hard life." Kevin's pretty sure Mike's laughing at him. "What time should I pick you up?"
"Our plane lands at three twenty-seven. We're flying United, but I don't know how O'Hare is set up, so I don't know where I'll be until I get there." Maybe he should have thought about that before he called.
"I'm pretty familiar with O'Hare," Mike says, and he's definitely laughing at Kevin now. "Call me when you land, and I'll meet you in front of baggage claim."
"Awesome." Kevin catches Nick's reflection in the window and turns around to watch his family regrouping. "Hey, I gotta go. I'll see you in a couple of hours."
"Looking forward to it."
Kevin beams. "Me too. Bye." After Mike says goodbye and Kevin clicks his phone off, he heads back over to the rest of his family. Dad and Big Rob don't look very happy, so Kevin goes to talk to Mom. Frankie's at her side, but he has his earbuds in and is absorbed in something on his phone.
"I called Mike," Kevin says. "He's going to pick me up for dinner while we're in Chicago." He makes sure to tell her, not ask. Technically, Mom and Dad or Big Rob could overrule him, but he has a better chance of getting his way if he goes in with a plan.
Mom looks at him, and he keeps his most trustworthy look on his face while she asks, "Do you think that's a good idea?"
"I want to see him," Kevin says carefully. "Someone can walk me out to meet him, and meet me out front when we get back."
Mom frowns. Kevin just waits.
"I'll talk to your father," she says.
*
One thing Mike's going to be thankful for on Thursday is that they decided to take the whole week off from working on music, because it means he doesn't have to explain and escape from his band. He knows how weird it is that he's going to meet a Jonas Brother for just a couple of hours.
Kevin's waiting in front of baggage claim with a guy who is clearly part of a security team.
Mike pulls up to the curb and gets out of the car. He can feel his face stretching into a grin. "Kevin!" he calls.
Kevin grins just as wide as he does. The security guy follows him as he comes over to Mike.
"Hey!" Kevin throws his arms around Mike with gleeful abandon. It's a lot to take in all at once, Kevin holding him tight and the smell of Kevin's cologne just the same as Mike remembers. He hugs back.
Kevin pulls back and introduces "Big Rob, one of our security guys."
Big Rob folds his arms across his chest and says, "You bring him back by seven."
"Uh, yeah, sure." Mike glances over at Kevin, who's still smiling, so that must be okay.
Big Rob looks at Mike for an endless moment, then says, "Call if you need me to come get you," to Kevin.
Kevin waves a hand. "It'll be fine." He gets in the car, and Big Rob goes back to the sidewalk. When Mike looks in the rearview mirror, Big Rob is still watching them.
"So I was thinking pizza," Mike says as he navigates his way out of O'Hare. "You ever have Giordano's stuffed pizza?"
"No. Is it something that would get me in trouble with Nick and Mom if I tell them about it?"
Mike grins. "Hell yeah."
Kevin grins back. "Bring it on."
Part 2
Mike doesn't really know how these things happen to him. No, wait, he does. He can totally blame it on Bill. Bill is the one who's always thought being friends with Pete is a good idea. Mike knows better, and has expressed said knowledge many times before. It never seems to get through.
The alcohol is helping. Sort of. It does nothing to stop the "Hey, pretty girl" comments he's getting from everyone from Bill to Patrick to seemingly sweet Greta. It does mean he doesn't care as much.
"This was a shitty idea," Mike says when he finally gets near Pete. He thinks about throwing a punch, but he's probably already drunk enough that it wouldn't connect.
"No, no, dude, this was an awesome idea." Pete grins at him.
Mike gestures at himself, babydoll tee with "SLUT" spelled out in glitter across the chest, skirt short enough to put most of his thighs on display, thankfully flat but also glittery shoes. "This was not an awesome idea."
"Pete! Awesome idea!" Brendon careens into Pete's side, hugs him tight, and bounces off again. He would think it was awesome. Pete assigned him to be Robin to Spencer's Batman.
Jon's apparently on Brendon duty, because he follows along in his wake and tosses, "Nice legs, dude," at Mike on his way past. Bastard knows not to get too close with a line like that. Mike doesn't even want to think about what it's going to be like when the hair starts growing back. At least he'll be wearing pants so no one will notice. Except everyone he knows is here, which means they'll all know.
He gets another drink.
*
Kevin doesn't really know how these things happen to him. It's possible he was a disobedient lemur in a past life and this is how the universe is letting him make amends. Or maybe there's like, some kind of quota for number of crazy things a person has to do in his life, and fate's just helping him along. But probably, probably it's just Joe's fault.
It was Joe's idea to go out for pizza in the middle of the night on Halloween, and it was Joe who wouldn't let him be a zebra and made them be the T-Birds instead. Even Nick's quiet observation that "At least it wasn't the Pink Ladies" didn't make him much happier about it. He really wanted to be a zebra. Or, like, a cheetah. Something with a pattern.
So it's Joe's fault he's in a crowded pizza parlor on what is technically the day after Halloween when a girl in a really, really, really short skirt knocks into him and he reaches out to grab her so she doesn't fall and gets a handful of her waist where it's bare between her shirt and her skirt.
"Are you okay?" Kevin asks, or starts to ask, because he looks at her halfway through the question and she's beautiful and he kind of forgets how to speak.
"Let go of me," she says, or Kevin thinks she does. Now that he's noticing her, he can tell she's pretty drunk, and her words kind of slur together into one surprisingly deep tangle of syllables. She pushes at him, but when he lets go she starts to sway, and Kevin grabs at her again.
A guy dressed liked a tree - probably a willow, by the way his arms are all long and drapey, although maybe that's just the way his arms are - turns around from where he's talking to a guy dressed as a crocodile, or maybe an alligator - the difference is something about their teeth, and this guy just has regular old human teeth - and looks all the way down at Kevin and the girl.
"How kind of you," the tree says, "to take care of Mike in such a state of inebriation."
Mike's kind of a weird name for a girl, but Kevin's dressed in a leather jacket that precisely matches his brothers', so he's not really one to judge.
"Gonna kill you," Mike says, but she appears to be talking to the tree and not to Kevin. "'n Pete."
"No way," some other guy says, and when Kevin turns his head to look, Batman, Robin, the Joker, and a scowling Harley Quinn are standing on Mike's other side. "This is Pete's best idea ever." Robin punctuates this statement with a lot of grinning.
"Kevin," Joe whines, and Kevin jumps and twists his head to the other side where his brothers are now standing next to him, "why is it taking you so long to get our pizza?"
"Sorry," Kevin says, but Mike cuts in before he can explain.
"What are you?" She's still slurring her words and leaning heavier and heavier on Kevin, but it's clear enough what she means.
"The T-Birds!" Joe proclaims. He turns around to show off the back of the jackets to anyone who will look.
Mike doesn't look impressed. Or maybe she's trying not to throw up. She's not doing a very good job of standing up. She takes like half a step forward and slumps back against Kevin. He wraps his other arm around her too to keep her up.
The tree takes charge of things. "If you young gentlemen would take Mike and find us all a table, Ryan will spring for pizza."
"I will not," the scowling Harley Quinn says. "Spencer can do it."
Batman rolls his eyes. "We'll split it." He tips Robin towards the Joker. "Go with them."
So Nick and Joe pull tables together while Kevin tries to keep Mike from falling over long enough to push her into the booth Nick and Joe are building up into a table that's almost big enough to be from that scene in Batman.
*
Mike's pretty drunk, but he's still pretty sure the guy he's somehow leaning against is hitting on him. Maybe. The guy hasn't stopped touching him anyway. Of course, the guy is dressed ridiculously precisely for after midnight on Halloween, and who perfectly coordinates their Halloween costumes with their brothers anyway?
"So that's Kevin," the one with straightened hair says, pointing at the guy whose arm is still around Mike's waist. "I'm Joe, and this," he wraps his arm around the other guy's shoulder and gives him a noogie, "is Nick."
Nick shoves at Joe. "Knock it off."
Joe shoves back. Their see-sawing is making Mike even more nauseous than he already is. He drops his head down onto the table. This is the worst Halloween ever.
"Hey, Mike," Kevin says, and his pointy fingers poke at Mike's shoulder. "Are you okay?"
There's a rush of sound, voices and things clunking down onto the table, and then somehow Kevin's pressed even closer to Mike. It feels surprisingly good. It must be because it's late and getting cold.
"See if you can get him to drink this," Bill says, and then Kevin's arm around him tugs him back up.
"Your friend brought you some water," Kevin says. Mike has no idea how anyone can be that earnest. He just stares at the glass in front of him. Picking it up is starting to seem like a lot of effort. "You want a straw?" Kevin reaches out to a pile of straws and grabs one. He pushes it out of the wrapper one-handed and plunks it into the glass. "This would be so much better if we had bendy straws," Kevin says. "Bendy straws are awesome. Do you like bendy straws?"
Mike leans forward and sucks at the straw. This is not a conversation he needs to have. Drinking isn't much better. Water's only going to sober him up, and he doesn't know why Bill didn't get him something with some taste. Like a Coke. Or a beer. He could really go for a beer.
His water glass is empty in what seems like no time, and, like magic, a hand appears with a pitcher and refills it.
Mike has lost, uh, something, because the next thing he knows Bill's putting a plate with a slice of pizza on it in front of him and Kevin's arm is back around his waist and Kevin's thumb is making circles on the bare skin between Mike's skirt and the shirt he's given up pulling down to meet it.
The pizza is pretty much the best thing ever, and Kevin's thumb stutters and then picks up its rhythm again when Mike moans at the first bite. Definitely hitting on him.
*
So Mike eats pizza like she's never eaten anything before, and when she finishes the first piece, she licks sauce and grease off of her fingers before demanding someone pass the pizza down so she can get another slice. She's also incredibly warm against Kevin's side, and the skin under his hand is soft and smooth.
Kevin's not paying a lot of attention to the conversation Joe and Nick are having with Mike's friends until one of them says her name.
"Mike's our guitarist," the tree says - no, wait, his name is Bill.
"You play guitar?" Kevin asks. "So do I." He beams at Mike.
"What? In your mom's garage?" Mike's sobering up; it comes out pretty clear.
"No," Kevin says, "in a band. The Jonas Brothers."
Mike squints at him. "Part of their backing band?"
Across the table, Nick and Joe both look like they're about to laugh. Kevin kicks out and hits Joe, going by the way it's Joe who says, "Ouch!"
"No," Kevin says. He waves his hands at his brothers. "We're the Jonas Brothers. The three of us."
Mike blinks at him a couple of times. Her eyeshadow sparkles in the light every time her eyes close. She grabs Kevin's hand on her hip and drags it up. Kevin has to scoot closer to her for it to work. Not that he minds.
"So this," she says, touching Kevin's ring, and she's really sober enough for her words to be clear now, "is one of those purity rings."
Kevin is more used to answering questions about this than he wants to be, so he just says, "Yes," and doesn't look down the table where some of Mike's friends - he thinks it's Chiz and Sisky, certainly the crocodile - he's Australian, so not an alligator - and the sponge - are laughing at them.
But all Mike says is, "Huh," and then she drops Kevin's hand back onto her hip. Mike seems to care more about reaching for another slice of pizza than she does about Kevin's ring.
*
Mike's like four slices of pizza and three glasses of water in when he realizes he's pretty much sober again, and that is no way to spend Halloween in drag being hit on by one of the fucking Jonas Brothers.
He leans around Kevin to peer down the table. For some reason the pitchers on the table do not include one of beer. He frowns at Bill. "Are we being good for the kids?"
"You've had enough for one evening," Bill says primly, and that's bullshit because Bill has been plenty drunk plenty of times and Mike's never cut him off.
Mike flips him off and tries not to notice the way it makes Kevin practically flinch.
Bill passes a pitcher down. "Have some of this instead." The pitcher's three-quarters full of orange soda. No one drinks orange soda. But it's better than water, so Mike sucks down the last of the water in his glass and refills it with soda. And, actually the soda tastes really good. It would be perfect with a bendy straw. Fuck, they've been hanging out with these kids for too long.
"Hey, Bill," Jon says, "you gonna spring for cookies?" Because of course Bill found them a pizza place that also sells pizza-sized cookies.
"We'll get the cookies," Joe says. He takes Nick with him, which means Mike can finally stretch his legs out under the table. Unfortunately, it also means he's pretty much alone with Kevin at his end of the table, and Bill's making what he probably thinks is a subtle face of encouragement.
Mike doesn't need encouragement. Mike can make his own moves. No, wait. Mike doesn't need encouragement because he doesn't want to make a move on a Jonas Brother. Even if that Jonas Brother is surprisingly comfortable to lean on.
Mike might still be a little bit drunk.
"Were you at a party?" Kevin asks. "Before you came here?"
Mike stares at him. It's Halloween where else would he have been? Sadly, having his legs stretched out toward the other side of the booth means they're in Bill's kicking range. It hurts, and the fucker better not have left dirt or bruises on Mike's leg.
"Yes," he answers, and then, because he's pretty sure he can't talk about the party without saying it, "fucking Pete."
Kevin looks a little less scandalized than he did about Mike flipping Bill off. If Mike had to, he'd guess the rest of the table hasn't been censoring their language just because there are Disney stars around.
"We sort of had a family party," Kevin says, "but mostly we took Frankie - he's our younger brother, he's asleep by now, which is why we didn't bring him with us - trick-or-treating."
Mike doesn't want to know, really doesn't, but he finds himself asking, "Was he Danny Zuko?"
Kevin grins at him, broad and bright. "No. He refused to go along with Joe's plan and got to go as a pirate." Kevin frowns. "I wanted to be a zebra."
Oh, God. Mike's being hit on by a Jonas Brother whose idea of a good Halloween costume is a vegetarian zoo animal.
*
Joe and Nick come back with two of the biggest cookies Kevin has ever seen. Each one of them takes up a whole pizza pan. Tray? Whatever those things are that pizzas are served on when you eat at the pizza place.
In the shuffling that happens to get them back into their seats and cookie slices distributed, Mike somehow ends up pressed even closer to him. Kevin wonders if he can ask for her number.
They each get slices of both kinds of cookies - one chocolate chip, one sugar with lots of frosting. The frosting catches on Mike's lips, replacing the lipstick or gloss that was already mostly coming off, at least until she licks it off.
Kevin almost forgets how to chew.
He looks away hurriedly and finds Bill watching him. "Give me your phone," Bill says, his hand held out in command.
Kevin pulls his phone out of his pocket and hands it over. Bill spends too much time with it to be putting in just his number, and Mike says, "You suck," which Kevin hopes means Bill is giving him her number too.
He must be, because he hits something else, and then frowns at Mike. "Where's your phone?"
"This fucking skirt doesn't have pockets." When Kevin turns to look, Mike looks both annoyed and faintly embarrassed. "All I have is my key and a twenty tucked into this fucking bra. I don't know how girls do this."
Kevin can vaguely hear someone saying, "They carry purses," and Joe saying, "Kevin carries a purse" - thanks a lot, Joe - but mostly he's just staring at Mike. Mike who does not have a weird name for a girl because Mike is not actually a girl. Which doesn't actually make him any less pretty - Or should it be hot? Can you call a guy pretty? - or his warmth against Kevin's side feel any less amazing.
Mike says, "What?" and Kevin realizes his staring has passed over into rude.
Kevin smiles at him automatically. "Nothing."
Mike hunches in on himself a little and says, "I need a fucking cigarette." He leans forward, away from and looking around Kevin. "One of you fuckers has to have a cigarette."
There are a lot of headshakes.
"Urie, man, come on," Mike says.
Robin - Brendon, Kevin thought, but maybe Urie is some kind of nickname - shakes his head and says, "Spencer wouldn't let me put any in his utility belt."
Kevin wonders why he didn't just carry them in his own utility belt, but even having known him for only an hour or so, he thinks it's probably better not to ask.
"Fuck." Mike thumps his head down onto the table. Kevin catches the plate with the rest of his cookie on it and pulls it away before Mike can get frosting in his hair.
Bill's arm reaches out - he's really, really tall, but even this seems excessive - and he pats Mike's head. "I'm afraid it's time for us to take our leave. He's only going to get crankier, and he refuses to buy cigarettes in California."
There's a whole bunch of chaos while everyone takes last bites of food or sips of drinks and Nick and Joe insist on putting the tables back where they were with the dubious assistance of the Batman contingent.
Mike's not stumbling anymore, which means Kevin doesn't have an excuse to touch him. He hovers just behind Mike on the way out anyway. Just in case. He's watching close enough that he sees Mike shiver when they get outside. His outfit is probably not very warm.
Kevin shrugs out of his jacket and takes two steps so he's next to Mike instead of behind him. "Here."
Mike stops moving and turns to stare at him.
Kevin holds out his jacket. "It's cold." He doesn't have enough experience to be smooth about loaning a girl his coat, but Mike's not really a girl, so maybe it doesn't matter.
Mike peers at him suspiciously, but he takes Kevin's jacket from him, pulls it on, and zips it up.
Kevin feels like he could be the guy in the movie giving the girl his letterman's jacket. The T-Birds' leather jackets are pretty much the same thing.
When a couple of cabs pull up, Bill comes over to tuck his hand through Mike's elbow. "We'll call you," he tosses over his shoulder as he guides Mike into one of the cabs.
Kevin watches until the cab turns the corner, but Mike doesn't look back at him. And now he's the one who's too cold without a jacket.
"I had these custom made," Joe complains when Kevin turns back to his brothers.
Nick shakes his head. "You're both idiots. Mike or Bill will call tomorrow, so you," he points at Kevin, "will get to see Mike again and you," he points at Joe, "will get your matching jacket back."
*
Mike wakes up with his phone ringing insistently. Usually, he's pretty good about turning it off at night, even when he's plastered, but apparently not having it actually on him last night meant he forgot.
He picks it up and thumbs the button to accept the call without looking to see who it is. "What the fuck?"
"Mike!" Bill always sounds way too cheerful the morning after a good party. "Get out of bed, take a shower, and meet us for breakfast. After that, we'll go find your new paramour and return his jacket."
Mike buries his head in his pillow and turns off his phone by feel.
Bill is a persistent fucker, though, so there's a really loud banging on his door before Mike can fall asleep again. He swears at Bill all the way to the door.
"Fuck off," he says, when he opens the door. It's not going to work, but he does it anyway.
"Nonsense," Bill says, and he tugs Butcher, Chiz, and Sisky in with him.
It's Butcher who looks him up and down and says, "You look like you should be doing a walk of shame."
Mike flips him off and locks himself in the bathroom. He is. not at his best. He managed to get out of the bra before he went to bed, but he's still wearing the panties. At least he'd managed to talk Bill out of the lace. He didn't get the makeup off either, and it's smeared in the night. He would not look out of place doing a walk of shame.
A shower doesn't actually make him feel that much better - it's probably going to take at least a couple of hours of sleep to do that - but at least he no longer looks like he spent the night in the remains of his Halloween costume.
He ignores his supposed friends' comments about his legs while he gets dressed, and then scowls at them until they tumble out of his room and downstairs for breakfast.
He mainlines coffee and eggs and bacon and figures it's too much to hope that Bill will give it up.
"His number's in your phone," Bill says.
"Because you put it there." Mike stuffs the last piece of bacon in his mouth, hoping for a chance to finish it before Bill tries to make him do something stupid. Something else stupid, anyway.
"Only so you could call him. You were awfully cozy."
"I was drunk and it was cold." Mike's sliding into sulky. He hates that. "I would have cuddled up to Gabe."
Jackpot.
"You would not." William points at him. "He would never. I am Gabe's snugglebud." Then he stops, sits back in his chair, and crosses his arms over his chest. "This is not about Gabe. This is about you and Kevin Jonas." He points again, less accusing and more, well, pointed. "Call him."
"I'm not calling him." Mike can be stubborn too.
He only realizes the problem with this when Bill pulls out his phone. Shit. He probably put Kevin's number into his phone too.
In about ninety seconds, Bill's going to insist he talk to Kevin too. Mike heads back to the buffet and hangs around getting tiny bits of everything until Bill hangs up the phone and points at him again.
"Eat quickly," Bill tells him. "We're going to visit your young man, and you still have to go up and get his jacket from your room."
Mike plans to go up and not come back. Bill anticipates him, though, and sends Chiz with him. Bastard. Bill, not Chiz. Although the fact that Chiz is helping him makes him kind of a bastard too. At least Chiz doesn't pester him in the elevator.
Mike could really go for a drink. Bill's at the wheel of the car, though, on the way to wherever it is the Jonases live - and, oh, fuck, he's going to visit the fucking Jonas Brother who hit on him while he was in a skirt - and when Bill's on a mission, there are no detours for alcohol. No matter how much Mike thinks it would make this a better morning. He should've ordered something with breakfast.
Some kid answers the door, and not a kid like the Jonas Brothers, but an actual kid. He stares up at them, and Bill stares down at him.
"Is Kevin in?" Bill asks.
The kid yells, "Kevin! Your friends are here!" without taking his eyes off of Bill, and then he turns around and disappears into the house, leaving them on the porch and the door wide open.
"Frankie, manners," Kevin calls after him, and then he practically beams right at Mike. "Come in," he invites, and Bill starts right into the house, thwarting Mike's plan to hand over the jacket and get out of there.
Mike hands him the jacket on the way into the house. "Thanks."
Kevin keeps smiling at him. "You're welcome." And then he leans closer and stage whispers, "I would have let you keep it, but Joe had them custom made and wants to keep the set together."
"I heard that," Joe says from not very much farther into the house.
Kevin makes a face at his brother. "I wanted to be a zebra anyway."
Mike should not be finding this cute. Mike is hardcore. Mike does not find things cute. Well, puppies, but everyone finds puppies cute. And it's a long way from puppies to a Jonas Brother.
"Why a zebra?" Mike finds himself asking as Kevin and Joe lead them through the house. He doesn't know why he asks. It's not like he really cares.
But it makes Kevin's face light up, and no, no, no, Mike is not going to like this guy.
"They have the coolest stripes. Did you know that zebras will stand next to black and white stripes, even if they're painted on a wall?"
Mike does not - does not - wish he had a cool zebra fact to add to that.
They end up in the dining room where Kevin introduces them all to his parents. His mom is hot.
"Meeting the parents on the second date," Bill murmurs to him. Mike jabs an elbow into his stomach.
*
"We've been working on a new concept for our next tour." Kevin waves at the plans, models, and cost projections spread out over the end of the table away from the muffins left over from breakfast. "Last time we had a stage that moved," he points at the model, "but we don't want to do the same thing all the time.
Mom cuts in to tell them, "Kevin built all the models himself."
Kevin's usually not embarrassed by all the dorky things he does, but he doesn't know very many people like Mike. And Mike is, well, even hotter in his regular clothes than he was in a skirt. There's something about him that says he's comfortable with himself, and maybe a little dangerous.
He's also turning a critical eye on Kevin's cost projections.
"We're lucky if we get a backdrop." And, right, Mike's in a band Kevin hasn't had a chance to google yet. "How much do transportation costs factor into it?"
Kevin sorts through the stack of papers until he can find the relevant line items. "It depends on gas prices, of course."
Mike lets out a low whistle. "Yeah." He hands the papers back to Kevin and pokes at one of the models. Kevin knows everything about the models, so he can tell that as indelicate as it looks, Mike's not actually doing anything that could damage them.
"Joe says you're a musician, too," Mom says to Mike, which means Joe's said more than just that. Traitor.
"Guitarist," Mike confirms, and he smiles at her. He has a really nice smile that turns his cheeks into curving bookends to his mouth. Kevin wants to Mike smile like that for him.
"And what's the name of your band?" Mom can get away with asking that. Moms aren't supposed to be cool enough to know about bands.
"The Academy Is." Mike shrugs a little. "We're out of Chicago, done a couple of national tours, couple of overseas tours."
Chicago is a long way away. But Kevin's a successful rock star with lots of frequent flier miles. Kevin might also be getting ahead of himself. Just because he thinks Mike is hot doesn't mean Mike's interested in him.
"How long are you in L.A.?" Mom asks.
"Coupla days." Mike pushes his hair back. "We're filming a video, doing some interviews, and then we're heading back home."
Kevin's pretty much staring at Mike, so he sees it when Mike's eyes flicker sideways to look at him. Maybe there's hope.
"I know the best place for milkshakes in all of L.A.," is what comes out of Kevin's mouth. "We should go while you're here."
Bill enters Kevin's field of vision when he drapes an arm around Mike and says, "We have to be going, but Mike's free this evening."
Kevin likes Bill.
*
Mike hates Bill. "Fuck you," he says. "This isn't funny."
"No, no," Bill says. "This is so completely sweet."
Mike turns a glare on him. "A Disney star is coming to pick me up to take me out for a milkshake. This is all your fault."
Bill pats him on the cheek. "I'm just trying to help you out. You liked him, and you haven't been on a date in a while."
"I didn't like him, and I get laid plenty." Mike is dangerously close to pouting. This is what hanging out with Disney people does to people.
"You get laid, but you don't make an actual connection to anyone."
Mike could do without Bill's obsession with pairing people off. Before he can say anything about it, a car pulls to a stop in front of where they're loitering in front of the hotel and Kevin hops out.
"Hi!" He's wearing jeans that cling to his thighs, a button-down that's open at the neck, and an honest to God sweater vest. It's completely ridiculous, and he's pretty much the hottest thing Mike's ever seen.
Mike's wearing a pair of jeans that he's pretty sure got washed before they came out to L.A. and a clean black t-shirt.
"Hi."
Bill pushes him forward, and Mike shoots him a dirty look before getting into the car. Kevin holds the door and closes it behind him.
The car's windows are rolled halfway down, so Mike can hear Bill admonishing Kevin to bring him back at a reasonable hour, and Kevin's answering, "Yes, sir. I have a curfew I don't want to break either."
Mike is not actually a teenage girl and Bill is not his father. He holds his hand out the window and flips Bill off as Kevin pulls away from the curb. It's marginally satisfying.
"So the milkshake place has awesome burgers, too," Kevin says, "but I don't know if you like burgers so if you want, we can get dinner somewhere else."
Mike's mouth waters. It's been a long time since lunch, and Bill keeps making them eat at strange and pretentious places, last night's pizza notwithstanding. "I like burgers." Which is possibly the stupidest possible way to answer that.
"Awesome." Kevin flashes him a smile and turns up the radio as he pulls onto the freeway.
*
Betty's is Kevin's favorite place to eat in all of L.A.. It's a diner that looks like it walked - or was transplanted, since diners can't actually walk - right out of a movie, but it's real, not one of those retro places that's trying too hard. And it has the best milkshakes in all of Southern California. Maybe even the world. Kevin hasn't been everywhere yet.
The vinyl on Kevin's side of the booth is cracked, and their waitress is named Marge. She's been Kevin's waitress before, and even though she calls him "hon," he's pretty sure she doesn't actually recognize him.
Kevin knows what he's going to order, so he scopes out the other people in the place while Mike looks at the menu. There's a family halfway across the room with a couple of kids sharing crayons and laughing, and a group of teenagers who seem to be on a date of some sort. There's a guy at the counter reading a newspaper, and another one staring down into a coffee cup.
He looks back at Mike to find Mike has put down his menu and is watching him. Kevin's smile feels awkward, and he grasps for something to say.
Mike beats him to it. "Nice place."
"Totally," Kevin agrees. "And I was serious about the milkshakes. Amazing."
Marge comes back then to take their order. Kevin gets a cheeseburger, fries, and a strawberry milkshake. Mike orders the bacon cheeseburger, fries, and a cherry chocolate chip milkshake.
"So," Kevin says, and he doesn't really have anything to follow it up with.
"So," Mike repeats. He could be just smiling or he could be laughing at Kevin. Like, on the inside.
"Why were you a girl?" Kevin blurts out. He's been wondering ever since he woke up and remembered the night before.
Mike grimaces. "Fucking Pete."
Kevin remembers hearing him say that last night.
"You know who Pete Wentz is, right?"
Kevin nods. "We met him on some MTV thing once."
"Okay, right." Mike runs his hand through his hair. "Pete had a Halloween party for a bunch of us who know each other," Mike waves his hand around, "toured together, on his label, whatever, and he assigned costumes."
"You were a girl because someone else told you to be?"
"You didn't get to be what you wanted either," Mike says.
Kevin beams at him. It's probably meant to be an insult, but it means Mike remembers. "Joe's kind of a force of nature that way."
"Pete too." Mike smiles at him.
Marge brings their milkshakes, and Kevin takes a spoon to the whipped cream on the top of his. His hand shakes and the spoon clatters against his teeth when Mike actually moans.
"You were not kidding about the milkshakes."
Kevin stares for a little too long, because his brain is stuck on the wholly inappropriate thought that this must be what Mike looks like when he's having sex.
"No," Kevin finally says. "Best in L.A."
*
Mike's surprised by how much fun he has. Kevin's actually knowledgeable about guitar, even if his musical taste could use some work, and he has some good tour stories, even if the Jonas Brothers' idea of wild and crazy is pretty tame. The burgers are good, and the milkshakes really are the best he's had in a damn long time. They share - "split," Kevin insists - a banana split for dessert.
Mike's reluctant to say goodbye when Kevin brings him back to the hotel, and Kevin seems to be on the same page. He turns off the car but doesn't seem in a hurry to leave.
"This was great," Kevin says. "Thanks for coming with me." He grins a little. "I love a good excuse to eat junk food."
"Disney doesn't let you eat junk food?"
"Disney doesn't care as long as I'm not caught drinking. It's Nick and Mom who don't like the junk food."
Mike leans back against the door and looks at Kevin. "Aren't you the oldest brother?"
"Yeah, what about it?"
"Why do you let your brothers boss you around?"
"Nick's the reason we are where we are today, and Joe's obnoxious when he doesn't get his way." Kevin shrugs. "It's easier to just let them have their way. Besides, they listen to me on the things I know about."
Mike shakes his head. "I could never do that. Bill and I fight all the time."
"But you went along with Pete's costume assignment."
Mike grimaces. "That's different. It's Pete. I think the only person who argues with Pete is Patrick."
Kevin grins. "That sounds like Nick and Joe." Something beeps, and Kevin looks down at his watch, and then frowns. "Shoot," he says. Mike refuses to find it cute. "I have to go. I wasn't kidding about having a curfew." He smiles a little sheepishly. "That one's all Mom and Dad. Living under their roof and all that."
"Oh, yeah. I guess I should go too." Mike tries and doesn't quite succeed at smiling. "Stuff to do tomorrow."
"Yeah." Kevin doesn't quite smile either. He pushes open his door, so Mike opens his too and gets out of the car. Kevin comes around to his side and closes Mike's door behind him. "So," he says.
"So," Mike says.
Kevin really does smile at him this time. "This was awesome."
Mike smiles back. "Yeah," he agrees. "Thanks for dinner."
"Thank you." Kevin ducks in and hugs Mike. It's not one of those hugs where people just kind of pat you on the back and then step away. It's the real thing, where Kevin has both arms solid around him and hangs on, and Mike doesn't know very many people who hug like this, so after a moment where he's confused, he hugs back. He breathes deeply, just because he needs to breathe, and if it brings in the smell of Kevin's shampoo and cologne, that's just incidental.
"We should totally keep in touch," Kevin says when he lets go after what seems like forever and no time at all. "Bill called you from my phone last night so you have my number, and I have yours."
"Yeah," Mike says, and he can't help smiling because it's really pretty adorable the way Kevin's so earnest about it. "I remember."
They stand there smiling at each other for a little while longer.
"So," Kevin says, "I guess I should go." He pulls his keys out of his pocket and does this ridiculous sort of half wave with them.
"I guess so. Thanks again." Mike forces himself to start walking toward the hotel doors. He doesn't let himself turn and look until he's inside the lobby. Kevin waves at him from the car, and Mike watches his tail lights as they pull out of the parking lot. Then he turns around and walks to the elevator.
*
"Hey, I forgot to ask, how was your date?" Joe asks three days later.
Kevin doesn't remember being on a date. "What date?"
"With Mike."
Kevin laughs. Date. "It was fun. We went to Betty's and talked about guitar. Mike knows a lot."
"Don't let Nick know you were eating diner food," Joe warns.
"I won't if you won't," Kevin says. Nick is scary when he's mad.
"Deal," Joe agrees. "You gonna call him?"
"Why would I call Nick?"
Joe sighs heavily. It's his I'm so disappointed in you sigh. "Mike," he says. "Are you going to call Mike?"
Oh. Kevin thinks about it. He liked spending time with Mike. He'd like to spend more time with Mike. Mike lives in Chicago. Kevin has frequent flyer miles. "Maybe?"
"You should call him. He seemed to like you."
Kevin perks up. "You think so?" Mike seemed to enjoy hanging out with Kevin at Betty's, but that just might've been the milkshakes.
Joe actually rolls his eyes. "He went out with you."
Kevin frowns. "Bill had to practically shove him in the car."
"Nick!" Joe yells. "Come tell Kevin he's being an idiot!"
Nick would never tell him he's being an idiot. He might think it, and he might gently suggest that perhaps there's something Kevin's missing, but he would never actually tell him that.
"Mom says don't yell in the house," Nick tells Joe when he comes up the stairs to join them.
"Tell Kevin he's being an idiot," Joe demands.
"I'm not doing that," Nick says. Kevin was totally right.
"Then tell him Mike liked him."
Nick stares at both of them. "Of course Mike liked you," he says to Kevin. "He let you take him to dinner. I don't think Mike is the kind of guy who would do that if he didn't want to."
Kevin frowns. Nick wouldn't say it if he didn't mean it, but he didn't have the same conversation with Mike that Kevin did. "Someone else made him dress up as a girl for Halloween. He might've let someone else push him into going out to dinner with me."
"He liked you," Nick says with crushing finality. "Are you going to call him?"
"I don't know," Kevin says. He really wants to, but he doesn't know what the rules are with this. He's never hung out with a guy like Mike before.
Now Nick looks disappointed in him too. "If you want to call him, you should." He glares at Joe. "Can I go back to what I was doing now?"
*
"So," Bill says, drawing it out into the longest syllable Mike has ever heard. "You call Kevin yet?"
Mike doesn't look up from his guitar. Travel always fucks with the tuning, no matter how much it shouldn't. "No."
Bill leans over him with a hand on his shoulder. "You should call him."
Mike shrugs his hand away.
"You liked him," Bill says. "You were so happy when you got back from your date."
Sisky and Butcher wander into the practice space. They both have coffee. Mike wishes he'd thought to stop for some. Maybe Bill would be easier to deal with if he had.
"It wasn't a date," he mutters.
"Oh, Michael," Bill says. "That was a date if I've ever seen one. He picked you up and promised to bring you back at a reasonable hour."
Mike finally looks up to glare at Bill. "Yes," he says, "I know. I was there." He's not really sure why they're talking about it now. He had dinner with Kevin - not a date! Just dinner - days ago. They're not even in the same state anymore. "Can we play some music now?"
It works for a while, until they take a break.
"Hey," Sisky asks, "you call that Jonas Brother yet?"
"No," Mike says.
"You should." Sisky smiles. "He's cute, and he was into you."
Mike takes a deep breath and reminds himself that he cannot kill his band. "Dude."
Sisky bumps his shoulder against Mike's. "I'm just saying."
They get back to work and the peace lasts until lunch when Chiz and Mike are hanging out waiting for their sandwiches to be done and Chiz says, "You should call Kevin."
Chiz is his best friend, so Mike's willing to cut him a little slack. "You sound like Bill and Sisky."
"Of course I do," Chiz says. "Think about it, Mike. Who in this band has a stable relationship?" The guy behind the counter calls Chiz's name, and he steps away to get his sandwich.
Chiz is his best friend, so Mike does think about it. For a minute. Until his sandwich is ready. Kevin did not take him on a date. No matter how much fun he had hanging out with Kevin, it's not a relationship.
When they're ready to call it a day, Bill plants himself in front of Mike and doesn't let him leave. "This is an intervention," he says. "You need to call Kevin."
"Back off."
"No." Bill points at him. "You liked him. He liked you. This could be something."
Mike makes a note to tell Christine to stop letting Bill watch Lifetime. "Bill," he says, "it's not going to be anything."
Unfortunately for him, Bill is infuriatingly stubborn. "Is this because he's a guy? Because you know none of us care." He waves at Butcher, Chiz, and Sisky, and if Mike doesn't want to be having this conversation, he really doesn't want to be having it with all of them as witnesses. He should probably be glad they're not working with anyone else today.
"Bill," Mike warns.
"We've never cared." Bill grips Mike by the upper arms. "All these years, we've never cared."
Mike really wishes he'd escaped Bill. "I've slept with a lot of women," he says.
"But you've never liked any of them," Bill says very, very gently. Bill is not actually wrong about that.
If Mike can't get out of talking about this, he might as well really talk about it. "I've never liked any of the guys I've slept with either." He doesn't count Pete because he never actually slept with Pete.
"That's not true," Bill says, "but it doesn't matter. You like Kevin."
Mike twists out of Bill's grip. "I didn't sleep with Kevin." If he can get Bill to take two steps to either side, he can get out of here.
Sisky chokes on a cut-off laugh. "Kid wears a purity ring," he says. "Of course you didn't."
"Adam," Bill says, "you're not helping."
"Neither are you," Sisky says.
Bill slides sideways just a little, and Mike can see his escape route opening up.
"I'm merely pointing out," Bill says, "that we already know Mike likes guys, and we're okay with it." He keeps talking, but he's moved out of the way, so Mike ducks around him and out the door.
He can hear Chiz calling out, "Just call him," behind him, but he keeps going straight to his car.
He blasts music on the way home and then flops down on the couch with a beer and the TV remote, happy to be away from his band. He loves them, but Jesus Christ are they a pain in his ass sometimes.
He watches a Simpsons reurn and then channel surfs. He finds himself stopping on the National Geographic Channel where a soothing voice tells him that zebras are equids, which means they're related to horses.
There's a lot of zebra footage, more than Mike has ever seen in his life. When it cuts to a commercial, he learns that he's watching Animals of Africa: Zebras.
And fuck his band, because he gets out his phone and scrolls down to Kevin's number. watching a show about zebras on national geographic channel, he types in. looks cool when they're running
He's learning about the zebra's natural enemies when Kevin texts him back. Is that part of the Animals of Africa series? I had to battle Joe for space on the TiVo to record it.
y, Mike sends. lions just killed one of them
That always looks cool because lions are so powerful, but I'm sad for the zebras who get eaten.
Okay, Mike admits to himself, Kevin Jonas is pretty darn cute.
*
"Sorry, sorry," Kevin apologizes when he flubs another take by grinning when he's not supposed to.
"Dude," Joe says, "what's up with you today?"
"Sorry," Kevin says again. He shakes himself out and says, "Okay. Let's do this."
This time he keeps his grin inside until they get through the take and the director calls, "Cut!" and sends them home for the day.
"Seriously," Joe says on the way to their dressing room, "what's up with you? You were fine until this afternoon."
"Nothing's up." Kevin's pretty sure his smile proves that's a lie.
"You've been humming 'The Lion Sleeps Tonight' all afternoon," Nick says. He wasn't in the last scene, so he's already in his own clothes playing guitar on their dressing room couch. "Our next album is not going to have a jungle theme."
So maybe Kevin has been humming that all afternoon. "Lions don't actually live in the jungle."
"Fine," Nick says, "then our next album isn't going to have a savanna theme." He puts his guitar down and comes out into the hall where he looks Kevin up and down. "What?"
"What what?" Kevin asks.
"See?" Joe waves his arms around like he's making a point. Kevin doesn't know what kind of point that could be.
"Yes," Nick says. He crosses his arms over his chest and turns a serious look on Kevin. "What happened today that made you grin like that?"
Kevin tries to tone it down. He's not sure it works. "Nothing."
"You're lying," Nick says flatly. "What happened?"
Kevin caves. "Mike texted me about watching zebras on Animals of Africa."
Joe reaches up for a high five, and Kevin returns it without stopping to think about it.
"Awesome," Joe says. "I told you he liked you."
Nick rolls his eyes. "Of course he liked you. Would you two get changed so we can go home?"
Joe grabs at Nick and makes a mess of his hair before taking off down the hall toward his dressing room. Nick makes a face and tries to smooth it down with his hands. Kevin goes to his dressing room so he doesn't get blamed for it.
He can't stop grinning, and it makes him grin even more every time he catches sight of himself in the mirror.
He keeps grinning in the car home, and he's the oldest, so when he gets home, he gets to tell Frankie to get off the Wii and let him have the TV so he can watch Animals of Africa. The zebras do look cool running, and he cringes when the lions take down one of them.
He pauses the show and texts Mike: Watching Animals of Africa. Lions killing a zebra. :(((((
He hits play and watches until his phone buzzes, when he pauses it again.
circle of life, the text from Mike says.
It's not very comforting, but after the episode is over, he convinces the whole family to have movie night and watch The Lion King and sing along with all the songs.
He surreptitiously texts Mike: It moves us all through despair and hope, through faith and love, 'til we find our place on the path unwinding in the circle, the circle of life.
Mike texts back, you really do belong to disney
*
Mike's phone rings. He glances down at the display and grins. "Hey."
"Hi," Kevin says. "Aren't you supposed to be working?"
"Lunch break," Mike says. "Finally. Bill's on a tear today." Then he frowns. "Hey, what are you doing calling me if you think I'm not going to answer?"
Kevin's laugh, half chuckle, half giggle, makes Mike smile again.
"I just saw the most amazing guitar. I was going to leave you a message if you didn't answer."
The sandwich guy calls Mike's name, and he steps forward to get his sandwich. "Okay, so what was so amazing about this guitar?"
Kevin giggles again. "It was covered, completely covered in those fake plastic jewel things. All kinds of colors and shapes."
"You didn't buy it, did you?" Mike slides into the only empty chair at their table. The rest of his band has shoved two small tables together, and it leaves Mike sitting in the aisle with barely enough space for his sandwich and his drink on the table. His band can be dicks sometimes.
"No, but Joe threatened to buy it for Nick for Christmas."
Mike grins. "I'll bet Nick loved that." Over the last two weeks, he's talked and texted with Kevin enough to know what his brothers are like.
"He threatened to disown Joe and throw him out of the band." Kevin's laughing as he says it. "And then Joe said he was just trying to keep it real."
Now Mike laughs. "I don't think Joe understands the meaning of the phrase." He pulls a dangling piece of turkey out of his sandwich and pops it into his mouth.
"I don't think Joe understands a lot of things," Kevin says, and then he hurries to add, "but he's my brother and I love him anyway."
"You're too nice," Mike teases. The rest of his band is halfway through their sandwiches. They're dicks, so he might not get to eat here. They might make him eat on the walk back.
"It's all the clean living," Kevin says with an aw-shucks country twang. Mike can just about picture the smile that goes with it. "But, hey, I should let you go so you can eat your lunch."
"Yeah, I guess." On the one hand, Mike's hungry. On the other hand, it's Kevin.
"I'll call you later," Kevin promises. "You can tell me about Bill on a tear and I'll tell you about Nick making us redo things eighty times until it's perfect."
"Sounds good," Mike says. "Bye." He waits for Kevin's goodbye, and then clicks his phone off.
"So," Bill drawls, "you and Kevin."
Mike resists the urge to roll his eyes and takes a bite of his sandwich instead.
"That sounded like a pretty familiar conversation." Trust Bill not to give up.
"Kevin spends most of his time with his brothers. I've heard about them a lot." That's maybe a tactical error, because Bill's eyes practically gleam with interest.
"So you've talked to him a lot."
Mike's band is a bunch of dicks. None of them look like they're going to help him out, and Mike just wants to eat his sandwich. "Some."
"Just to clarify," The Butcher asks, "are you or are you not phone dating a Jonas brother?"
Mike doesn't actually know the answer to that question. Kevin's hot, fun to talk to, and surprisingly sharp about the real world. But he's also friendly, and Mike's not sure how much of what they have is Kevin's general outgoing nature and how much of it is the kind of interest Mike has in him. He takes another bite of his sandwich instead of trying to explain anything of the sort.
Sisky manages to drop a chip into The Butcher's drink, which both distracts them from the conversation about Kevin, and keeps them busy long enough for Mike to finish his sandwich.
On the walk back, Chiz bumps his shoulder against Mike's and says, "Glad you finally listened to us."
*
While Big Rob is fussing about the security nightmare, and Dad is trying to use the Jonas name to get them seats together, Kevin wanders a little way away from the family, pulls out his phone and scrolls down to Mike's name.
Mike answers with his customary, "Hey."
"Hi," Kevin says. "I'm going to be in Chicago for five hours this afternoon. Want to have dinner?"
"Yes," Mike says promptly. Then he asks, "Why are you going to be in Chicago for five hours?"
"Thanksgiving is not the time to travel." Kevin turns his back on the busy gate area and looks out the window. "Our original flight got canceled, and they're rebooking us through Chicago."
"Why are you even flying commercial? Aren't you big stars with your own jet?" Mike's teasing tone makes Kevin smile.
"We're suffering on relatability, so Dad thought flying commercial at Thanksgiving would be good PR." Kevin half turns to see how Dad's airline negotiations are going.
"You have such a hard life." Kevin's pretty sure Mike's laughing at him. "What time should I pick you up?"
"Our plane lands at three twenty-seven. We're flying United, but I don't know how O'Hare is set up, so I don't know where I'll be until I get there." Maybe he should have thought about that before he called.
"I'm pretty familiar with O'Hare," Mike says, and he's definitely laughing at Kevin now. "Call me when you land, and I'll meet you in front of baggage claim."
"Awesome." Kevin catches Nick's reflection in the window and turns around to watch his family regrouping. "Hey, I gotta go. I'll see you in a couple of hours."
"Looking forward to it."
Kevin beams. "Me too. Bye." After Mike says goodbye and Kevin clicks his phone off, he heads back over to the rest of his family. Dad and Big Rob don't look very happy, so Kevin goes to talk to Mom. Frankie's at her side, but he has his earbuds in and is absorbed in something on his phone.
"I called Mike," Kevin says. "He's going to pick me up for dinner while we're in Chicago." He makes sure to tell her, not ask. Technically, Mom and Dad or Big Rob could overrule him, but he has a better chance of getting his way if he goes in with a plan.
Mom looks at him, and he keeps his most trustworthy look on his face while she asks, "Do you think that's a good idea?"
"I want to see him," Kevin says carefully. "Someone can walk me out to meet him, and meet me out front when we get back."
Mom frowns. Kevin just waits.
"I'll talk to your father," she says.
*
One thing Mike's going to be thankful for on Thursday is that they decided to take the whole week off from working on music, because it means he doesn't have to explain and escape from his band. He knows how weird it is that he's going to meet a Jonas Brother for just a couple of hours.
Kevin's waiting in front of baggage claim with a guy who is clearly part of a security team.
Mike pulls up to the curb and gets out of the car. He can feel his face stretching into a grin. "Kevin!" he calls.
Kevin grins just as wide as he does. The security guy follows him as he comes over to Mike.
"Hey!" Kevin throws his arms around Mike with gleeful abandon. It's a lot to take in all at once, Kevin holding him tight and the smell of Kevin's cologne just the same as Mike remembers. He hugs back.
Kevin pulls back and introduces "Big Rob, one of our security guys."
Big Rob folds his arms across his chest and says, "You bring him back by seven."
"Uh, yeah, sure." Mike glances over at Kevin, who's still smiling, so that must be okay.
Big Rob looks at Mike for an endless moment, then says, "Call if you need me to come get you," to Kevin.
Kevin waves a hand. "It'll be fine." He gets in the car, and Big Rob goes back to the sidewalk. When Mike looks in the rearview mirror, Big Rob is still watching them.
"So I was thinking pizza," Mike says as he navigates his way out of O'Hare. "You ever have Giordano's stuffed pizza?"
"No. Is it something that would get me in trouble with Nick and Mom if I tell them about it?"
Mike grins. "Hell yeah."
Kevin grins back. "Bring it on."
Part 2
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Date: 2010-11-01 08:50 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2010-11-02 03:55 am (UTC)