How do you write good kink?

[rsadelle]

I have a lot of confidence in my writing ability. I think even my ability to write physical descriptions (something fan fic doesn't teach you) has improved to an acceptable level. But there's still one area where I don't feel confident: kink.

I'd say this is because kink isn't something I have any experience with, but I've written all kinds of sex, relationships, and other situations that I don't have any experience with.

I don't know why kink is such a challenge for me. Somehow in my head I don't want to get it wrong. (And reading the comments on really good kink always makes me feel even more nervous about it. Try it sometime; you'll be amazed by how many people come out of the woodwork to say, "So many people get [some aspect of kink] wrong, but you didn't.")

I think I'm thinking about this now because I'm getting to the end of my novel and my plan for the next one is for it to be about a bdsm relationship. But even if I skip that and start in on my five-book series idea, I'm just postponing it because that series has one bdsm relationship and some other kinks as well.

I'm also thinking about it because I have two d/s stories in progress - one girl!Gabe/Victoria and one Mike/William - and every time I scan through them it hits me how little actual kink I've managed to write so far. I said to friends about the Mike/William story, "I don't care as much about the sex as I do about, say, Bill tying Mike up while Evie's at school." I've written about a thousand words of the aftermath of Bill tying Mike up, but the actual scene itself mostly has a lot of white space around a note to self and people reading the Google Doc that says only, "[rope]." The girl!Gabe/Victoria story doesn't even have anything approaching a complete sex scene, although there's the beginning of one where I know how it ends, so maybe I just need to write my way toward the middle - much like I'm doing with the story itself.

How do you write good kink? How do you know it's good when you're writing it? I will also take any other sorts of encouragement or advice on the matter, or interesting resources/blogs about kink or kink writing.

Comments

[megyal]

Are you serious. This is almost word for word the same conversation I had with a friend yesterday, about that same Mixon/Andy. I was actually holding you up in my head as a kink-writer to be like.

Well, if you find that people come out of the woodwork like that, then I think you should just keep doing what you're doing. You're bound to make mistakes, of course, if you're anywhere near as vanilla as I am, and just have to depend on reading avidly and glossing over parts that I'm not sure of. I'm not sure what to tell you about knowing if it's good or not. I never feel good about 99% of anything I write, but that is mostly through an intense shyness in my writing (you wouldn't think that, would you? :D) and a lack of confidence.

For information, I just start at kink_bingo, and work my way through their kink wiki, I'm sure you know about that. Then... I just think about how I'd feel as me doing any particular kink, and try talk myself through it. Doesn't always work and I'm sure it's not the best of methods, but I prefer that than watching videos.

[rsadelle]

Hee! I was laughing when you told me about worrying about writing kink because I really did have this already half written. I'm kind of flailing that you're using me as a kink writing role model. I guess I'm not doing it too badly!

I've heard of but never sorted through the kink wiki before - I looked at a couple of entries, and I think their links for more information might be most helpful. My cardinal rule of sex scenes is that how they feel is more important than what they do - and this is increasingly important the more people in the scene or the kinkier it is. What I'm struggling with is the how they feel rather than what they do (I've read a lot of kink fic for that part of it). I'm never sure I have that feel right. Or maybe more precisely: I'm never sure if I'm getting the feel I have in my head out into the story.

[megyal]

'm never sure if I'm getting the feel I have in my head out into the story.

I think the fact you're so thinking so deeply about it means that you'll probably get it pretty close!

[rsadelle]

♥ I hope so!

[icanbreakthesky.livejournal.com]

I don't write sex scenes at all so I don't know how valuable my input could be, but the only way to get better at something is to let yourself fail at it until you get it right. Right?

But, when I'm reading kink? The thing that really draws me into the scene isn't what's happening, it's how the characters react. It's why visual porn is, yeah, fine, but it doesn't have any real lasting connection (for me at least) because images are hot in the moment but the emotions are what makes it something more substantial. And you definitely have that on what you've written of the Mike/William fic.

How do you research the kinks you want to write? Maybe if you look at more of a community or a forum you could ask someone with experience to be your kink beta or something?

[rsadelle]

Ah, failing is okay. That is a reminder I need more than I think I do!

It's absolutely about how they feel rather than what they do (this is my cardinal rule for sex scenes). I'm not as worried about what they do. I'm just not sure how to know when I'm getting how they feel right as I'm writing. I'm glad to hear I have it with that story!

[inlovewithnight.livejournal.com]

I'm also thinking about it because I have two d/s stories in progress - one girl!Gabe/Victoria and one Mike/William - and every time I scan through them it hits me how little actual kink I've managed to write so far. I said to friends about the Mike/William story, "I don't care as much about the sex as I do about, say, Bill tying Mike up while Evie's at school."

*__________________*

I will be happy to audience drafts and beta and encourage, if that's any help? :D? :D?

[rsadelle]

Hee! Email me your email address and I'll add you to the Google Doc for it. (Or both, if you're interested in the girl!Gabe/Victoria too.) I feel like I should forewarn you that it only has bits and pieces written, it may never be finished, and the style is a little choppy since I wrote most of it over Twitter.

[sleepherealone.livejournal.com]

I like the non-sex parts of kink fic too, like you mentioned with the Mike/William one, it makes it more multifaceted, you know? Like it's not only contained in sex. I'd never say no to the sex parts of said fics but it's like icing on the cake, it's nice to get a good glimpse of it in other parts of their relationships.

[rsadelle]

I am definitely all for a multifaceted relationship! (With sex.)