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rsadelleThis is the other thing I wrote last week. There's a little handwaving about Victoria's age, but more importantly:
Warning: This story involves the death of a child. It's off-screen and pre-story, but it is the central plot point.
Warning: This story involves the death of a child. It's off-screen and pre-story, but it is the central plot point.
Getting Victoria is a relief because she fits in, but it's also weird because no one seems to know her story. One of the guys Gabe asks shrugs and says, "She kind of has that thing going where you don't want to ask. And if you do, she'll find a way to turn it around on you, you know?"
Gabe does know. Normally, that wouldn't stop him, but he doesn't want to give her any excuse to leave his band, so he just accepts her for what she is.
*
Victoria usually holds her own when she parties with them. One night, she comes out with them, but doesn't join in the festivities, so Gabe rolls up to the bar next to her. She has four shot glasses in front of her, two full and two empty. Her phone is propped up against the empties showing a photo of a little girl: auburn hair, green checkered dress, smiling and reaching toward the photographer.
"What's with the kid?"
Victoria says, "Her name is Rose. In ten minutes she will have been dead for a year," and does a shot.
Gabe suddenly feels a lot more sober. When the bartender comes around, he orders water instead of the vodka and Red Bull he'd been planning on.
He misses it when Victoria starts crying, but when he looks over at her, there are tears rolling down her cheeks and all four glasses are empty. He knows how to deal with hysterics, but not this quiet desperation.
"Hey," he says, "let's get out of here." He texts someone to let them know they're leaving, and makes sure there's a car waiting for them outside.
Victoria clutches her phone and cries, still silent, all the way back to the bus, and she disappears into her bunk without saying anything to him.
*
Gabe, being Gabe, pushes. And being Gabe, he does it in the morning, in the lounge, when everyone else is already up and Victoria comes out to get coffee.
"Rose is a nice name."
The coffee pot clatters back into place. Victoria turns around and says, "Don't go there," pointing at him. "You don't get to talk about her."
"Why? Because-"
Victoria cuts him off. "Because you didn't know her!" she shouts. "You didn't give birth to her and then hold her in your arms and feel her stop breathing."
Gabe knew there was something lurking there, but he never imagined it was that. Someday he'll learn when it's a bad idea to push.
But he knows what to do with this, even if he's never dealt with grief quite this raw. He gets up and puts his arms around her. She resists for a moment, and then collapses against him, sobbing and grasping at his shirt.
She quiets eventually, and says, "I guess I should tell you the whole story."
Gabe's intensely curious, but he says, "You don't have to."
Victoria looks at him with red-rimmed eyes. "You might as well all know." She sits on one of the couches and pulls her knees up to her chest.
Gabe sits close, but not too close, and the rest of their band takes seats too. Someone turned off the TV, so the only sound is the road beneath them.
"Drew and I got married young. Everyone told us that was stupid. We knew it was stupid, but we were in love and it just seemed right. Then I got pregnant, and we had Rose, and it was perfect. It was like we knew that was why we were meant to get married, to bring this person into the world. She was such a good baby. I used to take her to film sets with me, and she never ruined a shot. By the time she was two, she was asking, 'What? What? What?' about everything.
"She got sick when she was three. And it was scary, but lots of kids survive leukemia, so why not her? She spent her fourth birthday in the hospital. We fell apart with her. He brought me divorce papers a week after she died.
"We sold everything, and I moved to New York. And here I am." Victoria shrugs. "You can't- I didn't tell you because once people know, they think everything is about it. I don't want you to treat me differently."
They're all pretty shocked, and Gabe speaks for all of them when he says, "We won't." Then he speaks for himself and says, "I'm sorry, and I'm sorry for making you relive it."
"I live with it every day," Victoria says plainly.
*
They're coming out to sign things after the show in L.A. and there's a man Gabe doesn't recognize waiting for them. Victoria's somewhere behind Gabe, and he hears her make a sound, and then she pushes past them to get to the man. They cling to each other, and Gabe's pretty sure they're both crying.
Victoria says, "I'm going to go."
Gabe says, "Bus call at five."
Victoria nods. "I'll be back." She and the man leave.
Gabe corners one of the tour managers and asks, "Who was that and how'd he get back here?"
"He was on the list." He looks at a clipboard. "Andrew Walsh."
Gabe thinks, Andrew. Drew.
"Victoria put him on there?"
"She put him on all of them." At Gabe's look, he explains, "She said she didn't think he would ever come, but he should always be on the list."
*
Gabe is not waiting up. He just happens to still be awake at a quarter to five, and there's not much to do, which is why he's peering out of the windows watching a car pull up.
Victoria and Andrew get out of the car, and they talk for a little bit. There's a lot of nodding. The hug, and even from the bus and in the glow of the streetlights Gabe can see how tightly. Victoria kisses his cheek, and he cups her face in his hands. The angle's not quite right for him to tell for sure, but Gabe thinks he kisses her lips.
Victoria stands there while Andrew drives away before she comes onto the bus.
Gabe makes sure he's casually sitting on the couch when she does.
Her eyes are red, but she looks calm.
Still, Gabe asks, "Are you okay?"
Victoria seems to actually think about it, and then she says, "We put flowers on her grave."
Gabe has no idea what to say to that.
Warning: This story involves the death of a child. It's off-screen and pre-story, but it is the central plot point.
Warning: This story involves the death of a child. It's off-screen and pre-story, but it is the central plot point.
Getting Victoria is a relief because she fits in, but it's also weird because no one seems to know her story. One of the guys Gabe asks shrugs and says, "She kind of has that thing going where you don't want to ask. And if you do, she'll find a way to turn it around on you, you know?"
Gabe does know. Normally, that wouldn't stop him, but he doesn't want to give her any excuse to leave his band, so he just accepts her for what she is.
*
Victoria usually holds her own when she parties with them. One night, she comes out with them, but doesn't join in the festivities, so Gabe rolls up to the bar next to her. She has four shot glasses in front of her, two full and two empty. Her phone is propped up against the empties showing a photo of a little girl: auburn hair, green checkered dress, smiling and reaching toward the photographer.
"What's with the kid?"
Victoria says, "Her name is Rose. In ten minutes she will have been dead for a year," and does a shot.
Gabe suddenly feels a lot more sober. When the bartender comes around, he orders water instead of the vodka and Red Bull he'd been planning on.
He misses it when Victoria starts crying, but when he looks over at her, there are tears rolling down her cheeks and all four glasses are empty. He knows how to deal with hysterics, but not this quiet desperation.
"Hey," he says, "let's get out of here." He texts someone to let them know they're leaving, and makes sure there's a car waiting for them outside.
Victoria clutches her phone and cries, still silent, all the way back to the bus, and she disappears into her bunk without saying anything to him.
*
Gabe, being Gabe, pushes. And being Gabe, he does it in the morning, in the lounge, when everyone else is already up and Victoria comes out to get coffee.
"Rose is a nice name."
The coffee pot clatters back into place. Victoria turns around and says, "Don't go there," pointing at him. "You don't get to talk about her."
"Why? Because-"
Victoria cuts him off. "Because you didn't know her!" she shouts. "You didn't give birth to her and then hold her in your arms and feel her stop breathing."
Gabe knew there was something lurking there, but he never imagined it was that. Someday he'll learn when it's a bad idea to push.
But he knows what to do with this, even if he's never dealt with grief quite this raw. He gets up and puts his arms around her. She resists for a moment, and then collapses against him, sobbing and grasping at his shirt.
She quiets eventually, and says, "I guess I should tell you the whole story."
Gabe's intensely curious, but he says, "You don't have to."
Victoria looks at him with red-rimmed eyes. "You might as well all know." She sits on one of the couches and pulls her knees up to her chest.
Gabe sits close, but not too close, and the rest of their band takes seats too. Someone turned off the TV, so the only sound is the road beneath them.
"Drew and I got married young. Everyone told us that was stupid. We knew it was stupid, but we were in love and it just seemed right. Then I got pregnant, and we had Rose, and it was perfect. It was like we knew that was why we were meant to get married, to bring this person into the world. She was such a good baby. I used to take her to film sets with me, and she never ruined a shot. By the time she was two, she was asking, 'What? What? What?' about everything.
"She got sick when she was three. And it was scary, but lots of kids survive leukemia, so why not her? She spent her fourth birthday in the hospital. We fell apart with her. He brought me divorce papers a week after she died.
"We sold everything, and I moved to New York. And here I am." Victoria shrugs. "You can't- I didn't tell you because once people know, they think everything is about it. I don't want you to treat me differently."
They're all pretty shocked, and Gabe speaks for all of them when he says, "We won't." Then he speaks for himself and says, "I'm sorry, and I'm sorry for making you relive it."
"I live with it every day," Victoria says plainly.
*
They're coming out to sign things after the show in L.A. and there's a man Gabe doesn't recognize waiting for them. Victoria's somewhere behind Gabe, and he hears her make a sound, and then she pushes past them to get to the man. They cling to each other, and Gabe's pretty sure they're both crying.
Victoria says, "I'm going to go."
Gabe says, "Bus call at five."
Victoria nods. "I'll be back." She and the man leave.
Gabe corners one of the tour managers and asks, "Who was that and how'd he get back here?"
"He was on the list." He looks at a clipboard. "Andrew Walsh."
Gabe thinks, Andrew. Drew.
"Victoria put him on there?"
"She put him on all of them." At Gabe's look, he explains, "She said she didn't think he would ever come, but he should always be on the list."
*
Gabe is not waiting up. He just happens to still be awake at a quarter to five, and there's not much to do, which is why he's peering out of the windows watching a car pull up.
Victoria and Andrew get out of the car, and they talk for a little bit. There's a lot of nodding. The hug, and even from the bus and in the glow of the streetlights Gabe can see how tightly. Victoria kisses his cheek, and he cups her face in his hands. The angle's not quite right for him to tell for sure, but Gabe thinks he kisses her lips.
Victoria stands there while Andrew drives away before she comes onto the bus.
Gabe makes sure he's casually sitting on the couch when she does.
Her eyes are red, but she looks calm.
Still, Gabe asks, "Are you okay?"
Victoria seems to actually think about it, and then she says, "We put flowers on her grave."
Gabe has no idea what to say to that.
(no subject)
Date: 2010-05-02 04:58 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2010-05-02 05:36 pm (UTC)