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rsadelleTitle: Between Heaven and Earth
Author: Ruth Sadelle Alderson
Fandom: Dogma
Pairing: Bartleby [Ben Affleck]/Loki [Matt Damon]
Rating: FRT for m/m affection.
Spoilers: Um, yeah. For the movie
Disclaimer: I don't think Kevin Smith would be very happy if I stole his toys, so I'm going to stealthily go put them back now.
Summary: Loki's reasons.
It started when we were drinking after the Tenth Plague, not in celebration, as most think, but to get drunk, to dull somewhat the pain of what I had to do. We finally got so drunk that the bartender refused to serve us anymore. And in those days, that was saying a lot.
"I have a room," Bartleby said to me. "Come on up."
I followed him and once we got there, he just stared at me. "Bartleby? Come on, Bartleby, you're freaking me out."
He stepped forward and kissed me. He kissed me many times after that, but it was always that first kiss that I remembered. He cupped my face in his hands and molded his lips to mine. I melted into him and he ran one finger along the edge of my wing as he kept kissing me. It was the most intensely wondrous sensation I'd ever felt. My head tipped back and he moved his kisses to my neck.
"We could be like this forever," he murmured into my skin.
I put down my sword.
It hurt when we were cast out. It hurt the way I imagined it must hurt to burn and it was a hurt that wouldn't go away. But then I turned and Bartleby was there. I could bear it, I knew, as long as he was by my side.
It was only later, much later, that I found out he felt differently. He ranted at me in that parking lot and I was scared of him. He'd never frightened me before, not even when he held a broken bottle and threatened to cut the neck of the Last Scion. I was afraid because he reminded me of Lucifer and I knew that the pain of being cast out would be nothing compared to the pain of being cast down. I was afraid because I knew I'd never be able to follow him down. I couldn't bear the thought that we would be apart, so I followed him, even though I doubted. He knew I doubted; whenever we were alone on the journey to New Jersey, he would grip my hand or kiss my lips and say, "Imagine, Loki, to be in Heaven as we are on Earth." How could I resist the promise of home and him? So even when I heard his words of hatred for the humans, I followed him and hoped it would work out somehow.
It didn't.
Instead of a happy ending, there was the ultimate betrayal. I almost couldn't believe he would, could, do it. But he would, he could. I wanted to cry out, to say, "No," and tell him I loved him, but he couldn't hear the words I couldn't say. And so, in that last moment, I threw my soul open wide. I hoped, prayed, that She could hear it wherever She was. And in the end, I trusted in Her, knowing that She would do what was best.
********
The End.
********
Author: Ruth Sadelle Alderson
Fandom: Dogma
Pairing: Bartleby [Ben Affleck]/Loki [Matt Damon]
Rating: FRT for m/m affection.
Spoilers: Um, yeah. For the movie
Disclaimer: I don't think Kevin Smith would be very happy if I stole his toys, so I'm going to stealthily go put them back now.
Summary: Loki's reasons.
It started when we were drinking after the Tenth Plague, not in celebration, as most think, but to get drunk, to dull somewhat the pain of what I had to do. We finally got so drunk that the bartender refused to serve us anymore. And in those days, that was saying a lot.
"I have a room," Bartleby said to me. "Come on up."
I followed him and once we got there, he just stared at me. "Bartleby? Come on, Bartleby, you're freaking me out."
He stepped forward and kissed me. He kissed me many times after that, but it was always that first kiss that I remembered. He cupped my face in his hands and molded his lips to mine. I melted into him and he ran one finger along the edge of my wing as he kept kissing me. It was the most intensely wondrous sensation I'd ever felt. My head tipped back and he moved his kisses to my neck.
"We could be like this forever," he murmured into my skin.
I put down my sword.
It hurt when we were cast out. It hurt the way I imagined it must hurt to burn and it was a hurt that wouldn't go away. But then I turned and Bartleby was there. I could bear it, I knew, as long as he was by my side.
It was only later, much later, that I found out he felt differently. He ranted at me in that parking lot and I was scared of him. He'd never frightened me before, not even when he held a broken bottle and threatened to cut the neck of the Last Scion. I was afraid because he reminded me of Lucifer and I knew that the pain of being cast out would be nothing compared to the pain of being cast down. I was afraid because I knew I'd never be able to follow him down. I couldn't bear the thought that we would be apart, so I followed him, even though I doubted. He knew I doubted; whenever we were alone on the journey to New Jersey, he would grip my hand or kiss my lips and say, "Imagine, Loki, to be in Heaven as we are on Earth." How could I resist the promise of home and him? So even when I heard his words of hatred for the humans, I followed him and hoped it would work out somehow.
It didn't.
Instead of a happy ending, there was the ultimate betrayal. I almost couldn't believe he would, could, do it. But he would, he could. I wanted to cry out, to say, "No," and tell him I loved him, but he couldn't hear the words I couldn't say. And so, in that last moment, I threw my soul open wide. I hoped, prayed, that She could hear it wherever She was. And in the end, I trusted in Her, knowing that She would do what was best.
********
The End.
********
(no subject)
Date: 2012-12-30 09:49 am (UTC)Oh wow.
This is magnificent.
(no subject)
Date: 2012-12-31 01:00 am (UTC)