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rsadelleTitle: 900 Miles to Stockholm
Author: Ruth Sadelle Alderson
Fandom: Bourne movies
Pairing: Jason/Nicky
Rating: FRAO
Word Count: 4500
Disclaimer: The characters and world do not belong to me. No profit is being made on this story.
Summary: Nicky retires. Jason finds her.
Author's Note: Many thanks to Molly for encouragement.
Nicky's on the way home for lunch when Jason appears at her side.
"Keep walking." His hand on her elbow tightens enough to hurt. "No detours. I do know where you live."
She doesn't answer, but she doesn't try to go anywhere but home. Her hands shake while she unlocks the door.
"I've been watching you," Jason says. "Take off your coat. We're staying in."
Nicky hangs her coat on the rack next to the door. "I have to go back to work in an hour."
"You're not going back today."
"I have to." She hates the tremble that means she's about to cry.
"No, you don't." He uses the gun to direct her to the phone. "Call and tell them you won't be back."
She makes the call, lies automatically, easily.
"Make lunch," Jason orders. He sits down at her kitchen table and watches her. Her shaking hands make jerky patterns in the mayo. She sets one sandwich in front of him and sits on the other side of the table with the other one. He eats with one hand and puts the other, with the gun, on the table.
She picks at the edges but doesn't eat. When he's done, she pushes her plate across the table and watches him eat her lunch too.
"Did you just come for lunch or are you here for a reason?" she finally asks.
"My name's really David," he tells her. "David Webb. Did you know that?"
"Yes." There's no point in lying to him. "I had full access to your files."
"Treadstone didn't leave many survivors."
She lets her head drop. She's been half expecting this. "You're here to kill me."
He nudges her chin up with the barrel of the gun; she hadn't even heard him move. "I don't kill people anymore. Marie didn't want me to do that." He traces the gun up her jaw and around to the soft spot just below her ear. The gun twists against her skin as he moves behind her. "You're not like Marie."
She doesn't hear him leave, but by the time she has the courage to turn around she's alone. She shakes for a long time before she can put the lunch things away.
"Are you okay?" Jeanne asks her the next morning. "Edna saw you crossing the street with somebody. She said you didn't look very happy to see him."
Nicky drags up a tired smile; she didn't sleep very much last night. "He's just somebody I used to know."
After a couple of months of the gossip and work and visits to the beauty parlor that make up life in a small town, she stops jumping at every man dressed in black. After a few more, she stops even noticing them.
***
It's almost Christmas when Jason slides into the booth across from her at the diner. She manages to keep her hands still around her coffee cup while he orders pie for both of them.
"You look tired," he says after Kathy brings their slices of pumpkin and apple.
She stops watching him and resolutely stares out the window at the snow. "I don't sleep well," she admits to him.
He taps his fork against her cup. "Should stay away from the caffeine."
She doesn't know what he's doing, and that makes this the most frightening conversation she's ever had. Something must show, because Jason takes her piece of pie and Bob Hance leaves the counter to amble over to their table.
"Afternoon, Nicky." He's still casually sipping his coffee, but his other hand's resting on the butt of his gun.
"Sheriff."
"This fellow bothering you?"
She can't bring herself to smile, but she shakes her head. "No," she says. "It's fine."
She can tell he doesn't believe her.
"Well now, you decide you don't want to talk to him anymore, you let me know." He nods briefly at her and goes back to the counter.
"Good to see you're making friends." Jason's almost amused by the whole thing, and she's relieved he's not going to kill him. Sheriff Hance is a good guy, probably thinks Jason's an abusive ex-boyfriend and just wants to make sure she stays safe. If only he knew.
"He's not really a friend." She can't stand it anymore. "Why are you here?"
"Just passing through."
It's a lie. Jason never just passes through. If he's here, there's a reason.
He drops a few dollars and a package she hadn't even noticed--she's done a good job of forgetting what she learned in the Company--onto the table.
She watches him walk across the street and disappear before she can make herself let go of her coffee cup. She toys with the ribbon on the box. Jason said he doesn't kill people anymore, but he could have been lying. Except he probably wouldn't blow up the diner.
She's tired of thinking about it, and some part of her is ready to die, so she pulls the ribbon to undo the bow. She slits the tape carefully and peels off the plain Christmas paper.
She's left with a plain white box. She lifts the top off carefully and looks down into it. Plain white tissue paper. She brushes it aside and pulls out a scarf. High quality knit. Red. She'll never wear it; the red will make her too much of a target.
Maybe she hasn't forgotten that much.
***
She sleeps even less well after that. One night in February she goes to the kitchen for something to drink. She flips on the light and screams.
"Jason." She claps her hand over her mouth and shakes. She's barely slept, and this is too much. "Why are you doing this?" She's crying, sobbing. "You're scaring me. Jason, you're scaring me. Why are you doing this?"
"I'm not going to hurt you." The gun's back, on the table in front of him. He leaves it there when he comes across the room at her. He grabs her arms when she tries to shrink back into the darkness behind her.
"You're scaring me, Jason."
"I'm not going to hurt you, Nicky." He hands her a card. It's one of Pamela Landy's and there's a handwritten number at the bottom. Jason hands her a cell phone.
"It's the middle of the night."
"Not where she is. Call her."
Nicky dials the number and hits send.
"Pamela Landy."
"It's Nicky," she says after a moment. "Nicky Parsons."
"Nicky." She can tell Pam's startled to hear from her; she told Pam herself when she decided to leave. "What can I do for you?"
"Jason's here."
"Bourne? What's he doing there?"
"I don't know." She starts to cry again. "He's scaring me."
Jason takes the phone from her. "I killed someone today. I don't like killing people."
Nicky puts her hand over her mouth to keep her sobs in.
"He had a picture of Nicky in his pocket. Who's trying to wipe out Treadstone?"
Nicky pushes herself back against the wall.
"Someone is," Jason says to Pam. "No one outside even knows about Treadstone." After a moment in which he's obviously listening, he says, "They killed Marie. I'm not letting them kill Nicky too." He hangs up on Pam.
He turns Nicky around and pushes her back toward her bedroom. "I was going to let you sleep," he says. "You're not sleeping enough, Nicky." He turns on the light in her bedroom. "We have to leave. Pack a bag."
She doesn't move. "I can't just leave."
"Yes, you can." Jason pushes her toward the closet. "Get dressed. Pack a bag. We're leaving."
He leaves her alone in her room to get ready. She stares at the closet door for a while before she can open it and pack her bag. Pants only, no skirts; she'll probably need to be able to move. She takes the time for a shower. It doesn't make her feel any better, but the water wipes the tear tracks away.
When she puts on her coat, Jason takes the red scarf from the peg where it's hung since she brought it home in December and wraps it around her neck.
She doesn't like being a target.
He waits while she locks the door and then takes her down to the car. He drops her bag in the trunk and makes her buckle her seatbelt.
She stares out the window and tries not to think about where they're going while he drives and drives and drives. They don't talk.
Jason parks in long-term parking at O'Hare. He buys their tickets with faked passports. Nicky doesn't ask why they're going to London.
Jason buys bagels while they wait for their flight. Nicky takes two bites of hers and hands the rest over to Jason. It's getting to be a habit.
On the plane, Jason puts her next to the window and takes an aisle seat for himself. She doesn't think she'll be able to sleep, but she does, somewhere over the Atlantic.
She wakes up on the descent into Heathrow with her head resting on Jason's shoulder. She shakes herself into enough awareness to echo Jason's sightseeing married couple story to customs.
He checks them into a nice hotel under a new pair of passports. Nicky knows she won't be able to sleep, not after sleeping all the way over the Atlantic, but she takes the chance to hide in the bathroom while she brushes her teeth and changes into a nightgown.
She climbs into bed while Jason's in the bathroom. She closes her eyes and listens to water running, to the door opening, to Jason turning off the light. To Jason getting into bed with her.
Jason's arm comes over her and he brushes his lips against her shoulder. "It's okay. We're safe." For now; she hears the qualifier he doesn't say. "You're safe." He kisses the back of her neck. "I'm not going to let anyone hurt you, Nicky."
His hands sweep up and down her body. They slide under the hem of her nightgown to touch her bare skin. It's been a long time since anyone's touched her. She can admit that she'd wondered, before, what his hands would feel like on her body.
She doesn't even think about stopping him.
He slides her panties off and strokes her skin all the way back up her legs. "No one's going to hurt you," he says. One hand keeps moving, all the way up to her breasts. "I won't let them." He stops talking and keeps touching her, hands and lips moving against her skin.
He stops touching her to tear open a condom wrapper, and then he's inside her and touching her again. He kisses her, and his thumbs wipe away her tears.
"I won't let anyone hurt you, Nicky."
She can't make the tears stop, even after she comes, even after Jason comes. He takes care of the condom and comes back to hold her close.
She wakes up starving. She calls down to room service and orders huge breakfasts. Jason watches her from the bed.
He doesn't let her open the door until he's looked through the peephole, and then he retreats to the bathroom, naked with a gun, to wait and watch while she signs for the food. She remembers to use the name that matches the passport Jason gave them.
She eats all of her breakfast and half of Jason's. Jason stacks the plates on the table and joins her on the bed. Her back against his chest, his arms around her, his legs looped over hers.
He tells her what to do and makes her repeat it back to him until he's satisfied. He dresses her, and wraps the red scarf around her neck again.
"I won't let anyone hurt you, Nicky," he says, and he sends her out to make the call.
Pam meets her in Trafalgar Square.
"Don't come any closer," Nicky says when Pam reaches out to touch her. "He'll kill you if you hurt me."
"What's he doing this time?"
Nicky shrugs. "He hasn't said much to me." She thinks about Jason kissing her and promising he won't let anyone hurt her. "Who's trying to wipe out Treadstone?" Now that she's here, doing this, she's calm, focused. She's used up her tears.
"It's not just Treadstone," Pam says. "Word in the hallways is that someone's trying to permanently do away with selected failed Company projects. I don't know who."
"Can you find out?"
Pam shakes her head. "I can't ask too many questions."
"You have to protect your career," Nicky says. It feels good to be able to say what she's thinking.
Pam makes a frustrated gesture. "Yes," she says. "I'd rather not end up running away and killing my former coworkers."
Nicky's mouth tightens. "I'm not killing anyone."
"Not yet." Pam looks straight into her eyes. "You can come in," she says. "We'll make arrangements. Bourne doesn't have to know."
Nicky laughs. "Do you think he's stupid? I'm wired."
"Nicky." Pam reaches out toward her, but Nicky steps back out of her reach.
"Don't touch me," she reminds Pam. "He'll kill you if you hurt me."
"I'm not going to hurt you." Pam's starting to sound frustrated. When her phone rings, she snaps into it. "Pamela Landy." She watches Nicky while she listens to whatever the other person is saying, and then she stabs at the button to turn off her phone. "Goodbye, Nicky." She turns and stalks away across the Square.
Nicky finds a place to sit and waits until Jason shows up behind her. He bends down and kisses her neck.
"Good job," he says. He takes her arm. "Let's go."
They go back to the hotel to retrieve their bags, and then he hails a cab to Gatwick. He buys their tickets with a new set of passports, and it occurs to Nicky to wonder how many identities he has for each of them.
Jason holds her hand all the way to DC.
He checks them into a hotel--new passports again--and takes her up to the room. He tucks her into bed and bends down to kiss her. He sits on the bed next to her and strokes her hair. It's nice, and she's exhausted.
She wakes up late the next morning. Jason's sitting at the table field stripping a revolver and watching her sleep.
"I brought you coffee," he says.
She sits up and takes the cup he hands her. It's still warm, and he hands her a small bag with a scone in it.
She likes not having to get her own breakfast.
Jason sends her to shower and dresses her again. He kisses her before he tucks the scarf around her neck.
He has ID badges for both of them. They get into Langley with no problems. Jason takes her through a maze of hallways. No one even looks at them twice.
They wait in the corner of a conference room. The suits who file in eye them curiously but don't bother them. The suit running the meeting doesn't even look around the room.
"I understand we're working on tying up some loose ends," he says, finally looking up from his file folders. He stops and frowns at Jason and Nicky. "Who are you?"
"Jason Bourne," Jason steps up to the table. Nicky stays half a step behind him. "A loose end."
The suit frowns in a way that would have terrified Nicky before. "You do not have clearance to be in this meeting."
Jason doesn't answer him.
"He's not cleared to be in this state," one of the other suits says. "Jason Bourne is still officially on the CIA's watch list."
Nicky shifts her attention. If he knows who Jason is, he probably knows who she is. She doesn't recognize him.
"I'll escort them out to security," the suit says. He stands and starts to reach for Nicky's arm.
Nicky doesn't stop looking at him. Out of the corner of her eye, she sees Jason move.
"Don't touch her," he says, and the tension in the room ratchets up.
Nicky flicks a glance at Jason. She's unsurprised to see the gun in his hand.
"All right, Jason," the suit in charge says. "No one's going to touch her." And sharply, to the interfering suit, "Sit down, Johnson."
Johnson doesn't look happy about it, but he sits.
"Now, Jason," the suit says, "let's talk about this."
Jason keeps the gun trained on Johnson. "Who's trying to kill us? Who wants to erase Treadstone?"
"Treadstone." The suit shakes his head. "I'm not familiar with Treadstone."
Jason nods at Nicky, and she steps up to explain.
"Treadstone was a program designed to create a group of assassins. Alexander Conklin pushed his operatives too hard. Eventually, Jason turned up with amnesia and killed or eluded everyone we sent after him. The program was officially decommissioned nearly three years ago."
"And you are?"
Nicky waits for Jason's nod. "Nicolette Parsons. I worked logistics and monitoring for the Treadstone project out of Paris. I was Jason's local contact." She glances at Jason again before adding, "We're the only members of the original Treadstone team still living."
"And you'd like to stay that way," the suit says. It doesn't work; neither she nor Jason relaxes.
They watch each other in silence for a long minute.
"All right," the suit finally says. "Let's deal."
Nicky steps back behind Jason.
"I want to know who's trying to kill us," Jason says. "And I want both of us left alone."
The suit sits back in his chair and waits, looking around the room. "I'll see what I can do," he says.
Jason nods shortly. "I'll contact you."
The suit returns his nod.
Johnson starts to stand, but drops back into his chair when Jason's shifting of attention reminds him of the gun.
"You can't just let them go!"
"I can and I will. Sit down, Johnson." The suit picks up the phone and dials an extension. "Send someone to conference room 623." He hangs up the phone and says, "You understand I can't let you wander around unaccompanied."
"Of course." Jason tucks away the gun. No one relaxes. Eventually someone shows up to escort them out.
Jason drives them back into the city in silence. They take a circuitous route and several modes of transportation back to their hotel.
"Johnson knows," Nicky says when they're alone in their room again.
"We'll start with him," Jason agrees. He covers a yawn with the back of his hand. "After I get some sleep," he says with a grimace. He strips off his shirt, and Nicky's mesmerized.
She barely breathes while he undresses. Jason notices her interest and opens his arms to her. She steps into them and runs her hands over his chest. She loves his body. She loves his kiss, deep and just a little possessive. She loves his hands on her, firm and strong, and every bit as possessive as his kiss.
Jason helps her get her clothes off and puts the condom on himself. Then he lies back and pulls her down on top of him.
"Jason," she says, and it's half plea and half awe.
Jason slides his hands up her arms and holds onto her while she moves against him.
"Please," she asks. Jason moves his hands over the rest of her body, trailing heat across her skin.
Nicky folds herself over to kiss him. One of his hands cups the nape of her neck to hold her into the kiss and the other roams across her breasts and down her body.
Nicky squeezes down on him; he groans into their kiss.
"Jason." She wants to scream it, but her orgasm takes her breath away and it comes out as a whisper.
She catches her breath with Jason peppering kisses onto her face.
"It's okay," he says when she starts to move off him. "It's okay." He strokes her hair. "It's okay, Nicky."
She watches him sleep from her perch on his chest. He doesn't look different asleep, but that might just be the angle. She doesn't want to wake him. She puts her head down and listens to his heart beat.
He doesn't sleep for long. They get dressed and Jason takes her with him to a cyber cafe halfway across town. They sit together in a corner, and Jason finds out everything he can about Johnson.
"Do you still have any clearance?" he asks when he's exhausted his resources.
Nicky nods. "It's not mine." She glances at Jason. "They're not as careful as they should be."
Jason scoots over and lets her have the keyboard. She gets into the unclassified version of Johnson's personnel records. They're unremarkable; training at the Farm, working his way up through the Agency, heading his own ops.
"Crescent Hat," she says, reading off the screen. "I know that name." She sifts through files, switches to someone else's clearance, and comes up with a partially excised file. She turns to Jason with a triumphant smile. "Crescent Hat was one of Conklin's ops."
Jason puts a hand on her knee to steady himself while he leans over and kisses her. It makes her blush.
She gives the keyboard back to Jason and lets him sift through all the available information about Crescent Hat.
When he's done, he closes everything down and takes her back to the hotel. They hold hands on the street and stand close together on the Metro. All anyone looking at them will see is a young professional couple on their way home after a day at the office.
Nicky's never had a relationship that made it to the living together stage.
Jason takes her out to dinner. They sit in a secluded corner of a small, romantic restaurant and sip expensive wine.
She had full access to all the Treadstone files. She trained at the Farm. Intellectually she knows what he's doing with the constant close contact. Emotionally she doesn't care. No one's ever paid this much attention to her before.
Jason takes her back to their hotel room. He undresses her, puts her to bed, and sits next to her while he uses a cell to make a call.
"Johnson worked an op called Crescent Hat with Conklin," he says without a greeting. "Conklin mentioned the op in Nicky's hearing."
Jason touches Nicky while he listens. He's watching her, too, direct, focused attention that makes her breathless and tight with need.
"I'll give you until noon tomorrow," he says into the phone. "And then I'll take care of it myself if you won't." He hangs up and carefully sets the phone down on the nightstand.
He takes his clothes off and folds them into a neat stack. He turns off the light before he slides into bed with her.
Jason touches her slowly, gently, until she's trembling and the barest brush of his fingers against her clit makes her come.
He touches her all the way through that first orgasm and drives into her to bring her to her second.
Nicky wakes up to room service's knock. She stays in bed and waits for Jason to bring breakfast to her. They eat in bed, and Jason hand feeds her pieces of toast.
Later he gets them into Langley again. They find an empty room with a phone. Jason puts it on speaker and dials the suit's extension.
"It's noon," he says, and he's timed it perfectly. "What have you done?"
"Johnson's on probation," the suit reports. "He'll be watched carefully. His extracurricular activities have been cancelled. You have my word."
Jason hangs up the phone. He looks at Nicky across the table and then takes her through the building to Johnson's office.
Johnson's not there.
They wait where they won't be immediately seen. When Johnson comes back, Jason pushes the door shut.
"Sit down," he says. There's a gun in his hand, and he uses it to gesture Johnson into a chair.
Johnson glares at him. "How the hell did you get in here again?"
"It's what Conklin taught me to do." Jason plants himself in front of Johnson. "Did he teach you to clean up after him?"
"I don't work for Conklin," Johnson says. He lifts his chin. "I work for the CIA."
He and Jason watch each other for an endless moment. Nicky holds her breath. It looks so easy, the way Jason pulls the trigger. Johnson dies quietly with only a sharp jerk and a hole through his forehead to show that anything's happened at all.
Nicky breathes again.
Jason tucks the gun away. "Let's go." He takes her wrist and pulls her out into the hallway.
She holds it together while they get out of the building and off the grounds. She loses it somewhere on the Beltway.
"You killed him. You just killed him! Like it was nothing!" She can hear her voice echo shrilly off the windows.
Jason yanks the car onto the shoulder and throws it into park.
"How could you? How could you just--"
Jason slaps her.
She's shocked into silence and then starts breathing again with a sudden gasp. She cries silently, and Jason gathers her against his chest until she calms down enough to let him drive.
She cries all the way back to their hotel.
Jason pushes her into the shower and steps in behind her. He washes her, thoroughly and carefully, touching every inch of her skin. She's stopped crying by the time he's done, and her hands don't shake as she puts on the clothes he hands her.
She sits on the edge of the bed and watches him pack their things. He double-checks for anything he might have missed and then guides her into her coat. He wraps the scarf around her neck.
They drive to the airport. Jason buys their tickets, gets them through security, and they get to the gate just in time to get on the plane.
It takes them back to O'Hare.
The car is still in long-term parking and they drive through the countryside in silence.
He stops the car two blocks away from her place.
"If he's any kind of cop," Jason says, "your sheriff has someone watching the place." He gets her bag out of the trunk and kisses her deeply.
Jason's right, of course, and one of Bob's deputies meets her at her door. She makes up a story about a family emergency and a sick aunt.
"I didn't mean to worry anyone," she tells nearly everyone in town. She apologizes to Leo for not calling and he lets her come back to work. When Jeanne and Edna press her, she tells them she hadn't realized she was that connected to the town, which has the benefit of being true.
She thinks about moving.
***
On her birthday, she comes home to find Jason waiting for her. He takes her to bed first and dinner second.
She decides to stay after all.
--End--
Author: Ruth Sadelle Alderson
Fandom: Bourne movies
Pairing: Jason/Nicky
Rating: FRAO
Word Count: 4500
Disclaimer: The characters and world do not belong to me. No profit is being made on this story.
Summary: Nicky retires. Jason finds her.
Author's Note: Many thanks to Molly for encouragement.
Nicky's on the way home for lunch when Jason appears at her side.
"Keep walking." His hand on her elbow tightens enough to hurt. "No detours. I do know where you live."
She doesn't answer, but she doesn't try to go anywhere but home. Her hands shake while she unlocks the door.
"I've been watching you," Jason says. "Take off your coat. We're staying in."
Nicky hangs her coat on the rack next to the door. "I have to go back to work in an hour."
"You're not going back today."
"I have to." She hates the tremble that means she's about to cry.
"No, you don't." He uses the gun to direct her to the phone. "Call and tell them you won't be back."
She makes the call, lies automatically, easily.
"Make lunch," Jason orders. He sits down at her kitchen table and watches her. Her shaking hands make jerky patterns in the mayo. She sets one sandwich in front of him and sits on the other side of the table with the other one. He eats with one hand and puts the other, with the gun, on the table.
She picks at the edges but doesn't eat. When he's done, she pushes her plate across the table and watches him eat her lunch too.
"Did you just come for lunch or are you here for a reason?" she finally asks.
"My name's really David," he tells her. "David Webb. Did you know that?"
"Yes." There's no point in lying to him. "I had full access to your files."
"Treadstone didn't leave many survivors."
She lets her head drop. She's been half expecting this. "You're here to kill me."
He nudges her chin up with the barrel of the gun; she hadn't even heard him move. "I don't kill people anymore. Marie didn't want me to do that." He traces the gun up her jaw and around to the soft spot just below her ear. The gun twists against her skin as he moves behind her. "You're not like Marie."
She doesn't hear him leave, but by the time she has the courage to turn around she's alone. She shakes for a long time before she can put the lunch things away.
"Are you okay?" Jeanne asks her the next morning. "Edna saw you crossing the street with somebody. She said you didn't look very happy to see him."
Nicky drags up a tired smile; she didn't sleep very much last night. "He's just somebody I used to know."
After a couple of months of the gossip and work and visits to the beauty parlor that make up life in a small town, she stops jumping at every man dressed in black. After a few more, she stops even noticing them.
***
It's almost Christmas when Jason slides into the booth across from her at the diner. She manages to keep her hands still around her coffee cup while he orders pie for both of them.
"You look tired," he says after Kathy brings their slices of pumpkin and apple.
She stops watching him and resolutely stares out the window at the snow. "I don't sleep well," she admits to him.
He taps his fork against her cup. "Should stay away from the caffeine."
She doesn't know what he's doing, and that makes this the most frightening conversation she's ever had. Something must show, because Jason takes her piece of pie and Bob Hance leaves the counter to amble over to their table.
"Afternoon, Nicky." He's still casually sipping his coffee, but his other hand's resting on the butt of his gun.
"Sheriff."
"This fellow bothering you?"
She can't bring herself to smile, but she shakes her head. "No," she says. "It's fine."
She can tell he doesn't believe her.
"Well now, you decide you don't want to talk to him anymore, you let me know." He nods briefly at her and goes back to the counter.
"Good to see you're making friends." Jason's almost amused by the whole thing, and she's relieved he's not going to kill him. Sheriff Hance is a good guy, probably thinks Jason's an abusive ex-boyfriend and just wants to make sure she stays safe. If only he knew.
"He's not really a friend." She can't stand it anymore. "Why are you here?"
"Just passing through."
It's a lie. Jason never just passes through. If he's here, there's a reason.
He drops a few dollars and a package she hadn't even noticed--she's done a good job of forgetting what she learned in the Company--onto the table.
She watches him walk across the street and disappear before she can make herself let go of her coffee cup. She toys with the ribbon on the box. Jason said he doesn't kill people anymore, but he could have been lying. Except he probably wouldn't blow up the diner.
She's tired of thinking about it, and some part of her is ready to die, so she pulls the ribbon to undo the bow. She slits the tape carefully and peels off the plain Christmas paper.
She's left with a plain white box. She lifts the top off carefully and looks down into it. Plain white tissue paper. She brushes it aside and pulls out a scarf. High quality knit. Red. She'll never wear it; the red will make her too much of a target.
Maybe she hasn't forgotten that much.
***
She sleeps even less well after that. One night in February she goes to the kitchen for something to drink. She flips on the light and screams.
"Jason." She claps her hand over her mouth and shakes. She's barely slept, and this is too much. "Why are you doing this?" She's crying, sobbing. "You're scaring me. Jason, you're scaring me. Why are you doing this?"
"I'm not going to hurt you." The gun's back, on the table in front of him. He leaves it there when he comes across the room at her. He grabs her arms when she tries to shrink back into the darkness behind her.
"You're scaring me, Jason."
"I'm not going to hurt you, Nicky." He hands her a card. It's one of Pamela Landy's and there's a handwritten number at the bottom. Jason hands her a cell phone.
"It's the middle of the night."
"Not where she is. Call her."
Nicky dials the number and hits send.
"Pamela Landy."
"It's Nicky," she says after a moment. "Nicky Parsons."
"Nicky." She can tell Pam's startled to hear from her; she told Pam herself when she decided to leave. "What can I do for you?"
"Jason's here."
"Bourne? What's he doing there?"
"I don't know." She starts to cry again. "He's scaring me."
Jason takes the phone from her. "I killed someone today. I don't like killing people."
Nicky puts her hand over her mouth to keep her sobs in.
"He had a picture of Nicky in his pocket. Who's trying to wipe out Treadstone?"
Nicky pushes herself back against the wall.
"Someone is," Jason says to Pam. "No one outside even knows about Treadstone." After a moment in which he's obviously listening, he says, "They killed Marie. I'm not letting them kill Nicky too." He hangs up on Pam.
He turns Nicky around and pushes her back toward her bedroom. "I was going to let you sleep," he says. "You're not sleeping enough, Nicky." He turns on the light in her bedroom. "We have to leave. Pack a bag."
She doesn't move. "I can't just leave."
"Yes, you can." Jason pushes her toward the closet. "Get dressed. Pack a bag. We're leaving."
He leaves her alone in her room to get ready. She stares at the closet door for a while before she can open it and pack her bag. Pants only, no skirts; she'll probably need to be able to move. She takes the time for a shower. It doesn't make her feel any better, but the water wipes the tear tracks away.
When she puts on her coat, Jason takes the red scarf from the peg where it's hung since she brought it home in December and wraps it around her neck.
She doesn't like being a target.
He waits while she locks the door and then takes her down to the car. He drops her bag in the trunk and makes her buckle her seatbelt.
She stares out the window and tries not to think about where they're going while he drives and drives and drives. They don't talk.
Jason parks in long-term parking at O'Hare. He buys their tickets with faked passports. Nicky doesn't ask why they're going to London.
Jason buys bagels while they wait for their flight. Nicky takes two bites of hers and hands the rest over to Jason. It's getting to be a habit.
On the plane, Jason puts her next to the window and takes an aisle seat for himself. She doesn't think she'll be able to sleep, but she does, somewhere over the Atlantic.
She wakes up on the descent into Heathrow with her head resting on Jason's shoulder. She shakes herself into enough awareness to echo Jason's sightseeing married couple story to customs.
He checks them into a nice hotel under a new pair of passports. Nicky knows she won't be able to sleep, not after sleeping all the way over the Atlantic, but she takes the chance to hide in the bathroom while she brushes her teeth and changes into a nightgown.
She climbs into bed while Jason's in the bathroom. She closes her eyes and listens to water running, to the door opening, to Jason turning off the light. To Jason getting into bed with her.
Jason's arm comes over her and he brushes his lips against her shoulder. "It's okay. We're safe." For now; she hears the qualifier he doesn't say. "You're safe." He kisses the back of her neck. "I'm not going to let anyone hurt you, Nicky."
His hands sweep up and down her body. They slide under the hem of her nightgown to touch her bare skin. It's been a long time since anyone's touched her. She can admit that she'd wondered, before, what his hands would feel like on her body.
She doesn't even think about stopping him.
He slides her panties off and strokes her skin all the way back up her legs. "No one's going to hurt you," he says. One hand keeps moving, all the way up to her breasts. "I won't let them." He stops talking and keeps touching her, hands and lips moving against her skin.
He stops touching her to tear open a condom wrapper, and then he's inside her and touching her again. He kisses her, and his thumbs wipe away her tears.
"I won't let anyone hurt you, Nicky."
She can't make the tears stop, even after she comes, even after Jason comes. He takes care of the condom and comes back to hold her close.
She wakes up starving. She calls down to room service and orders huge breakfasts. Jason watches her from the bed.
He doesn't let her open the door until he's looked through the peephole, and then he retreats to the bathroom, naked with a gun, to wait and watch while she signs for the food. She remembers to use the name that matches the passport Jason gave them.
She eats all of her breakfast and half of Jason's. Jason stacks the plates on the table and joins her on the bed. Her back against his chest, his arms around her, his legs looped over hers.
He tells her what to do and makes her repeat it back to him until he's satisfied. He dresses her, and wraps the red scarf around her neck again.
"I won't let anyone hurt you, Nicky," he says, and he sends her out to make the call.
Pam meets her in Trafalgar Square.
"Don't come any closer," Nicky says when Pam reaches out to touch her. "He'll kill you if you hurt me."
"What's he doing this time?"
Nicky shrugs. "He hasn't said much to me." She thinks about Jason kissing her and promising he won't let anyone hurt her. "Who's trying to wipe out Treadstone?" Now that she's here, doing this, she's calm, focused. She's used up her tears.
"It's not just Treadstone," Pam says. "Word in the hallways is that someone's trying to permanently do away with selected failed Company projects. I don't know who."
"Can you find out?"
Pam shakes her head. "I can't ask too many questions."
"You have to protect your career," Nicky says. It feels good to be able to say what she's thinking.
Pam makes a frustrated gesture. "Yes," she says. "I'd rather not end up running away and killing my former coworkers."
Nicky's mouth tightens. "I'm not killing anyone."
"Not yet." Pam looks straight into her eyes. "You can come in," she says. "We'll make arrangements. Bourne doesn't have to know."
Nicky laughs. "Do you think he's stupid? I'm wired."
"Nicky." Pam reaches out toward her, but Nicky steps back out of her reach.
"Don't touch me," she reminds Pam. "He'll kill you if you hurt me."
"I'm not going to hurt you." Pam's starting to sound frustrated. When her phone rings, she snaps into it. "Pamela Landy." She watches Nicky while she listens to whatever the other person is saying, and then she stabs at the button to turn off her phone. "Goodbye, Nicky." She turns and stalks away across the Square.
Nicky finds a place to sit and waits until Jason shows up behind her. He bends down and kisses her neck.
"Good job," he says. He takes her arm. "Let's go."
They go back to the hotel to retrieve their bags, and then he hails a cab to Gatwick. He buys their tickets with a new set of passports, and it occurs to Nicky to wonder how many identities he has for each of them.
Jason holds her hand all the way to DC.
He checks them into a hotel--new passports again--and takes her up to the room. He tucks her into bed and bends down to kiss her. He sits on the bed next to her and strokes her hair. It's nice, and she's exhausted.
She wakes up late the next morning. Jason's sitting at the table field stripping a revolver and watching her sleep.
"I brought you coffee," he says.
She sits up and takes the cup he hands her. It's still warm, and he hands her a small bag with a scone in it.
She likes not having to get her own breakfast.
Jason sends her to shower and dresses her again. He kisses her before he tucks the scarf around her neck.
He has ID badges for both of them. They get into Langley with no problems. Jason takes her through a maze of hallways. No one even looks at them twice.
They wait in the corner of a conference room. The suits who file in eye them curiously but don't bother them. The suit running the meeting doesn't even look around the room.
"I understand we're working on tying up some loose ends," he says, finally looking up from his file folders. He stops and frowns at Jason and Nicky. "Who are you?"
"Jason Bourne," Jason steps up to the table. Nicky stays half a step behind him. "A loose end."
The suit frowns in a way that would have terrified Nicky before. "You do not have clearance to be in this meeting."
Jason doesn't answer him.
"He's not cleared to be in this state," one of the other suits says. "Jason Bourne is still officially on the CIA's watch list."
Nicky shifts her attention. If he knows who Jason is, he probably knows who she is. She doesn't recognize him.
"I'll escort them out to security," the suit says. He stands and starts to reach for Nicky's arm.
Nicky doesn't stop looking at him. Out of the corner of her eye, she sees Jason move.
"Don't touch her," he says, and the tension in the room ratchets up.
Nicky flicks a glance at Jason. She's unsurprised to see the gun in his hand.
"All right, Jason," the suit in charge says. "No one's going to touch her." And sharply, to the interfering suit, "Sit down, Johnson."
Johnson doesn't look happy about it, but he sits.
"Now, Jason," the suit says, "let's talk about this."
Jason keeps the gun trained on Johnson. "Who's trying to kill us? Who wants to erase Treadstone?"
"Treadstone." The suit shakes his head. "I'm not familiar with Treadstone."
Jason nods at Nicky, and she steps up to explain.
"Treadstone was a program designed to create a group of assassins. Alexander Conklin pushed his operatives too hard. Eventually, Jason turned up with amnesia and killed or eluded everyone we sent after him. The program was officially decommissioned nearly three years ago."
"And you are?"
Nicky waits for Jason's nod. "Nicolette Parsons. I worked logistics and monitoring for the Treadstone project out of Paris. I was Jason's local contact." She glances at Jason again before adding, "We're the only members of the original Treadstone team still living."
"And you'd like to stay that way," the suit says. It doesn't work; neither she nor Jason relaxes.
They watch each other in silence for a long minute.
"All right," the suit finally says. "Let's deal."
Nicky steps back behind Jason.
"I want to know who's trying to kill us," Jason says. "And I want both of us left alone."
The suit sits back in his chair and waits, looking around the room. "I'll see what I can do," he says.
Jason nods shortly. "I'll contact you."
The suit returns his nod.
Johnson starts to stand, but drops back into his chair when Jason's shifting of attention reminds him of the gun.
"You can't just let them go!"
"I can and I will. Sit down, Johnson." The suit picks up the phone and dials an extension. "Send someone to conference room 623." He hangs up the phone and says, "You understand I can't let you wander around unaccompanied."
"Of course." Jason tucks away the gun. No one relaxes. Eventually someone shows up to escort them out.
Jason drives them back into the city in silence. They take a circuitous route and several modes of transportation back to their hotel.
"Johnson knows," Nicky says when they're alone in their room again.
"We'll start with him," Jason agrees. He covers a yawn with the back of his hand. "After I get some sleep," he says with a grimace. He strips off his shirt, and Nicky's mesmerized.
She barely breathes while he undresses. Jason notices her interest and opens his arms to her. She steps into them and runs her hands over his chest. She loves his body. She loves his kiss, deep and just a little possessive. She loves his hands on her, firm and strong, and every bit as possessive as his kiss.
Jason helps her get her clothes off and puts the condom on himself. Then he lies back and pulls her down on top of him.
"Jason," she says, and it's half plea and half awe.
Jason slides his hands up her arms and holds onto her while she moves against him.
"Please," she asks. Jason moves his hands over the rest of her body, trailing heat across her skin.
Nicky folds herself over to kiss him. One of his hands cups the nape of her neck to hold her into the kiss and the other roams across her breasts and down her body.
Nicky squeezes down on him; he groans into their kiss.
"Jason." She wants to scream it, but her orgasm takes her breath away and it comes out as a whisper.
She catches her breath with Jason peppering kisses onto her face.
"It's okay," he says when she starts to move off him. "It's okay." He strokes her hair. "It's okay, Nicky."
She watches him sleep from her perch on his chest. He doesn't look different asleep, but that might just be the angle. She doesn't want to wake him. She puts her head down and listens to his heart beat.
He doesn't sleep for long. They get dressed and Jason takes her with him to a cyber cafe halfway across town. They sit together in a corner, and Jason finds out everything he can about Johnson.
"Do you still have any clearance?" he asks when he's exhausted his resources.
Nicky nods. "It's not mine." She glances at Jason. "They're not as careful as they should be."
Jason scoots over and lets her have the keyboard. She gets into the unclassified version of Johnson's personnel records. They're unremarkable; training at the Farm, working his way up through the Agency, heading his own ops.
"Crescent Hat," she says, reading off the screen. "I know that name." She sifts through files, switches to someone else's clearance, and comes up with a partially excised file. She turns to Jason with a triumphant smile. "Crescent Hat was one of Conklin's ops."
Jason puts a hand on her knee to steady himself while he leans over and kisses her. It makes her blush.
She gives the keyboard back to Jason and lets him sift through all the available information about Crescent Hat.
When he's done, he closes everything down and takes her back to the hotel. They hold hands on the street and stand close together on the Metro. All anyone looking at them will see is a young professional couple on their way home after a day at the office.
Nicky's never had a relationship that made it to the living together stage.
Jason takes her out to dinner. They sit in a secluded corner of a small, romantic restaurant and sip expensive wine.
She had full access to all the Treadstone files. She trained at the Farm. Intellectually she knows what he's doing with the constant close contact. Emotionally she doesn't care. No one's ever paid this much attention to her before.
Jason takes her back to their hotel room. He undresses her, puts her to bed, and sits next to her while he uses a cell to make a call.
"Johnson worked an op called Crescent Hat with Conklin," he says without a greeting. "Conklin mentioned the op in Nicky's hearing."
Jason touches Nicky while he listens. He's watching her, too, direct, focused attention that makes her breathless and tight with need.
"I'll give you until noon tomorrow," he says into the phone. "And then I'll take care of it myself if you won't." He hangs up and carefully sets the phone down on the nightstand.
He takes his clothes off and folds them into a neat stack. He turns off the light before he slides into bed with her.
Jason touches her slowly, gently, until she's trembling and the barest brush of his fingers against her clit makes her come.
He touches her all the way through that first orgasm and drives into her to bring her to her second.
Nicky wakes up to room service's knock. She stays in bed and waits for Jason to bring breakfast to her. They eat in bed, and Jason hand feeds her pieces of toast.
Later he gets them into Langley again. They find an empty room with a phone. Jason puts it on speaker and dials the suit's extension.
"It's noon," he says, and he's timed it perfectly. "What have you done?"
"Johnson's on probation," the suit reports. "He'll be watched carefully. His extracurricular activities have been cancelled. You have my word."
Jason hangs up the phone. He looks at Nicky across the table and then takes her through the building to Johnson's office.
Johnson's not there.
They wait where they won't be immediately seen. When Johnson comes back, Jason pushes the door shut.
"Sit down," he says. There's a gun in his hand, and he uses it to gesture Johnson into a chair.
Johnson glares at him. "How the hell did you get in here again?"
"It's what Conklin taught me to do." Jason plants himself in front of Johnson. "Did he teach you to clean up after him?"
"I don't work for Conklin," Johnson says. He lifts his chin. "I work for the CIA."
He and Jason watch each other for an endless moment. Nicky holds her breath. It looks so easy, the way Jason pulls the trigger. Johnson dies quietly with only a sharp jerk and a hole through his forehead to show that anything's happened at all.
Nicky breathes again.
Jason tucks the gun away. "Let's go." He takes her wrist and pulls her out into the hallway.
She holds it together while they get out of the building and off the grounds. She loses it somewhere on the Beltway.
"You killed him. You just killed him! Like it was nothing!" She can hear her voice echo shrilly off the windows.
Jason yanks the car onto the shoulder and throws it into park.
"How could you? How could you just--"
Jason slaps her.
She's shocked into silence and then starts breathing again with a sudden gasp. She cries silently, and Jason gathers her against his chest until she calms down enough to let him drive.
She cries all the way back to their hotel.
Jason pushes her into the shower and steps in behind her. He washes her, thoroughly and carefully, touching every inch of her skin. She's stopped crying by the time he's done, and her hands don't shake as she puts on the clothes he hands her.
She sits on the edge of the bed and watches him pack their things. He double-checks for anything he might have missed and then guides her into her coat. He wraps the scarf around her neck.
They drive to the airport. Jason buys their tickets, gets them through security, and they get to the gate just in time to get on the plane.
It takes them back to O'Hare.
The car is still in long-term parking and they drive through the countryside in silence.
He stops the car two blocks away from her place.
"If he's any kind of cop," Jason says, "your sheriff has someone watching the place." He gets her bag out of the trunk and kisses her deeply.
Jason's right, of course, and one of Bob's deputies meets her at her door. She makes up a story about a family emergency and a sick aunt.
"I didn't mean to worry anyone," she tells nearly everyone in town. She apologizes to Leo for not calling and he lets her come back to work. When Jeanne and Edna press her, she tells them she hadn't realized she was that connected to the town, which has the benefit of being true.
She thinks about moving.
***
On her birthday, she comes home to find Jason waiting for her. He takes her to bed first and dinner second.
She decides to stay after all.
--End--
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Date: 2009-09-21 10:15 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2009-09-21 04:00 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2011-12-11 10:00 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2011-12-12 03:28 pm (UTC)