Three Things I Learned About Myself on This Trip

[rsadelle]

The proverbial they say that you learn about yourself while traveling. I find that anything I learn about myself on a trip is usually something I already know. These are somewhat in that vein.

1. My eyesight is really bad. I had no idea how much I rely on familiar surroundings to guide me until I was trying to navigate M's (not very complicated) bathroom without my glasses.

2. I feel very anxious right now. I kept having to remind myself to let go of the things that are out of my control. Interestingly, once I wrote this out, I was able to really let go, but all my anxiety came back as I drove out of the Chico airport parking lot this afternoon.

3. I've gotten really used to not talking. This one is both interesting and troubling. I've been noticing that I don't always say things, even if I have things to say. I just sit and wait for others to carry on the conversation. And much of it is trivial stuff. And this is with the people I love and trust most in this world. I didn't realize how much of a habit this has become. I actually wrote the beginning of this entry while I was on vacation, and made more of an effort to say things once I noticed what I was doing. Still, interesting.

Comments

[norwich36.livejournal.com]

Obviously you need more planned social interactions!

And I feel you on the eyesight thing. My prescription has actually changed, but I've been putting off getting new glasses because I can't quite see well enough when trying on glasses to see what is flattering and what is hideous, even with the giant magnifying mirrors.

[rsadelle]

It's less about planned social interactions and more about, hmm, something about how the people I do see on a regular basis are people with whom I'm consciously holding things back. (This is also maybe part of a large collection issues about a friend who I lovelovelove, but who I don't always feel like I can talk to about everything.) Also, I meant to tell you about this in more detail in person, but then I forgot.

Isn't choosing glasses the worst? This is why I had the same frames for years and years. (Now I went for the rimless frames and had them make the lenses the same shape as my old ones.)