The Phantom Menace: Thoughts upon a second viewing.

[rsadelle]

1. No one in this movie, not even Natalie Portman, is attractive.

2. A child as irritating as Anakin Skywalker has no choice but to serve the Dark Side.

3. Qui-Gon/Jar-Jar BDSM. You know you want it. Just think about the moment when Qui-Gon grabs Jar-Jar's tongue and orders him, "Don't do that again."

4. I find it hard to believe that the greatest and most respected Jedi is a ridiculous little Muppet whose voice is even more absurd than his appearance.

5. Obi-Wan is not happy about Anakin.

6. Ewan McGregor has a very nice voice.

7. There is absolutely no suspense. Any and all potentially suspenseful events are ruined by being intercut with other events occurring at the same time.

8. Siubhan's Sith Academy has given me completely false impressions regarding the sexiness of Darth Maul, the youth of Obi-Wan, and the closeness of Mace Windu and Qui-Gon. I prefer the Sith Academy reality to that of the movie.

9. The lightsaber battles are too slow.

10. I realize that the Jedi are supposed to be the educated elite, but do they really have to speak so formally? The most natural piece of dialogue in the whole movie is Padme's sulky, "Well, I don't approve."

11. What happened to the Jedi as agents of good? Qui-Gon cheats to make sure that he'll get Anakin and not Shmi. Is that meant to show us that Qui-Gon is not your traditional Jedi, or is it indicative of the Jedi as a whole?

12. Is there indeed a well-written story out there told from Obi-Wan's point of view about how he resents Anakin, or do I only wish there were?

13. I've read stories in which Qui-Gon and/or Obi-Wan can tell that someone's lying through the Force, but they don't realize Padme is really Amidala until she tells them so.

14. Why is it that the galaxy long ago and "far, far away" is almost entirely populated by the British? Was losing their empire so traumatic that they have to recreate their dominance in George Lucas' fantasy life?

15. I'm troubled by the small percentage of women in George Lucas' world.

Comments

[minette.livejournal.com]

Just my bloody luck that I had to get stuck with an image of Qui-Gon using his lightsaber for unintended, nefarious purposes on Jar-Jar. My brain hurts.

[rsadelle]

Bwahahaha! I live to serve the forces of exceedingly strange plot bunnies.

[minette.livejournal.com]

The Dark Force? I knew you were Sidius in disguise!

[rsadelle]

Sidius? Bah! I am far more devious than such a puny excuse for a Sith.

[minette.livejournal.com]

Oh, yeah? When was the last time you were on a Death Star? And did you ever rule an empire?

[rsadelle]

Oh, the things you don't know about me.

[minette.livejournal.com]

I knew I should've checked under your bed to see if you'd hidden a lightsaber.

[sandrine]

2. A child as irritating as Anakin Skywalker has no choice but to serve the Dark Side.

Don't you just love the scene where he comes home with these strange guys and announces, "Hey Mum, these are my friends. Oh, and they'll stay here tonight." *snorts*

[rsadelle]

Aha! So not only is he irritating, he has bad judgement.

[sandrine]

Well, they are the 'good guys' after all. But the way they behave (esp. Jar-Jar), it's a bit hard to believe ...

If I was his mother, I'd have given him a good trashing. ;)

[rsadelle]

*snicker* Plus, she doesn't know they're good guys.

[sandrine]

Exactly. Personally, I'd rather have invited Maul in than Jar-Jar & co. But then again, I have a thing for him anyway. *g*

[rsadelle]

But Qui-Gon/Jar-Jar BDSM. You know you want it.

Re:

[sandrine]

Hmm. The creepy thing is - I can perfectly envisualize Jar-Jar having sex, but Qui-Gon squicks me. He's just an asexual person to me.

[rsadelle]

*snicker* That makes you the opposite of the vast majority of slashers.

[sandrine]

Well, I'm weird. Nothing new there. *chuckles* I suppose it's Liam Neeson. The man creeps me out, for a reason I can't quite name ....