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rsadelleSo a couple of weeks ago, ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
schuyler said, "text me," and since I wrote the HPRPF sheepherding bunny via texts to Sky and Molly, I thought I should text her something about Jared, Jensen, and sheep (but not like that). I have no idea if she ever got any of them - I don't have a cell phone, and so I sent all the texts via LJ's text feature.
Writing via text, with each bit 152 characters or fewer, is an interesting thing to do. I didn't want to break in the middle of a sentence in case one text went missing. One sentence came out shorter than I originally intended because the original sentence was more than 152 characters.
So Merry Christmas, have some cracktastic fic.
And Bring Their Tails Behind Them
Jared is almost unbearably excited when Jensen gets home. He drags Jensen out to the backyard. "Look!"
"Jared," Jensen says patiently, "they're sheep."
"Yeah, but they're our sheep!" Jared shoves the door open and drags Jensen out into the backyard. "You have to come touch them. They're so cool!"
Jensen wonders what ever made him think moving in with Jared was a good idea. Sheep. Sheep, for God's sake. When Jensen gives in and touches one of the sheep, it's nothing like he thought it would be. They look fuzzy, but their wool is seriously thick. If you were shorter than, say, a Sasquatch, you could lose an arm in there.
"Don't you have to shear them?"
"The guy I got them from said we could bring them back in the spring and he'd do it." Jared's still bouncing around. "Isn't this awesome?"
Jensen's tired just looking at him. "Is this because you never got to do 4-H when you were a kid?"
"We lived in San Antonio. We couldn't have livestock in our neighborhood, and my mom wouldn't let me have rabbits." Jared shakes himself. "That's not the point. The point is that sheep are cool and now we have some!"
The sheep are, Jensen has to admit, pretty cute. At least until the first time he steps in sheep shit in the backyard. Jared isn't home to yell at, so he calls Chris.
"Fucking sheep shit!" he swears.
"The fuck are you talking about?" Chris asks.
"Jared bought sheep, and there's sheep shit all over our backyard."
Chris laughs loud and raucous. "That boy has you so whipped."
"I didn't buy them," Jensen protests. "There's fucking sheep shit all over our backyard." He says this a little louder because the front door opens.
Jared walks by totally unconcerned.
"Sheep shit," Jensen says pointedly. Chris laughs. Jared doesn't seem to notice.
"I hate your sheep!" Jensen yells after Jared.
"So whipped," Chris guffaws.
Jensen hangs up on Chris. "Your fucking sheep left sheep shit all over the backyard," he tells Jared.
"My sheep are adorable," Jared insists. "Did you know there are a hundred and fifty yards of wool in a baseball?"
Jensen just stares at him. "Where do you learn these things?" He holds up a hand. "No, wait. I don't want to know." It's like banging his head against a wall. "Let me say this slowly. They left sheep shit all over the backyard. I stepped in it."
Jared is surprisingly, or maybe not so surprisingly, unsympathetic. "Watch where you're walking, then."
"Clean up after your sheep!" Jensen yells, flinging his hands around like the spaz he sometimes is.
"They're livestock," Jared explains very, very patiently. "This is what they're like. I have a book if you want to read it."
"No, I don't want to read it! I want you to clean up after the sheep! Or get rid of them!"
Jared looks positively horrified. "I can't get rid of them. They're my pets. They're already friends with Sadie and Harley."
"I don't want to be friends with a guy whose dogs are friends with sheep." Jensen stomps off to his room. It's not far enough away to really express his irritation. He slams his door for good measure.
Of course, now he's stuck in his room with nothing to do but fume. He falls asleep instead, and when he wakes up, he feels, well, sheepish. Jared's like a big kid when he has something exciting going on. There are few things that make Jared as excited as pets, and Jensen actually likes this about Jared. It's cute.
He goes out of his room and finds Jared on the couch playing Guitar Hero. "I'm sorry," he says.
"I cleaned up the backyard," Jared says.
Jensen sits down next to Jared. "I kind of flipped out," he admits.
Jared pauses the game. "I know." He ruffles Jensen's hair. "It's cool."
Jensen looks out the window at the backyard. "They are kind of cute."
Jared grins broadly. "I told you so."
So the sheep stay and Jared makes regular passes through the backyard to clean up after them.
As the weather gets warmer, Harley and Sadie spend more and more time outside with the sheep, which means Jared and Jensen do too.
Jared's named them Bo and Peep and put colored collars on them so they can tell them apart. Bo is picky about food, and Peep likes Harley best.
"Is this because you broke up with Sandy?" Jensen finally ventures.
Jared looks at him funny.
"I mean, do you think you're never going to have kids?"
"That's not why I'm not having kids," Jared says. "Besides, I can always adopt like Brangelina."
"Did you seriously just say Brangelina?"
Jensen doesn't realize until three days later that Jared successfully diverted him from the kids question.
"Hey," he asks, "is this really about not having kids?"
Jared rests his hand against Jensen's cheek. "Whenever you're ready, you just say the word."
A PA calls them back onto set at just that moment.
"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" Jensen rants to Chris on the phone on his next break.
Jared's off stuffing his face somewhere.
Chris sighs. "The kid's in love with you, you idiot. Just kiss him and adopt some kids already."
"What- Wait- I don't-" Jensen splutters. Chris laughs and hangs up on him, and Jensen glares off in the direction of the food tent.
Jensen does the only thing he can think to do: he hides from Jared for the rest of the day, even going so far as to call a cab at the end of the day. He gets the cab to take him downtown where he makes a stop and then takes another cab home.
"Okay," he says when he comes in the door. "Here." He shoves the jewelry box into Jared's hand. "I'm not having kids without being married first."
Jared beams at him and takes out the ring. He slips it onto his finger, and it fits perfectly.
"It wasn't about having kids," he says. "I liked the sheep." He drapes his arms over Jensen's shoulders. "But you're not getting out of marrying me now." He kisses Jensen. "The kids are gonna love the sheep."
"We have to keep the sheep?" Jensen grumbles. He doesn't really care, and Jared shuts him up with his mouth.
schuyler said, "text me," and since I wrote the HPRPF sheepherding bunny via texts to Sky and Molly, I thought I should text her something about Jared, Jensen, and sheep (but not like that). I have no idea if she ever got any of them - I don't have a cell phone, and so I sent all the texts via LJ's text feature.Writing via text, with each bit 152 characters or fewer, is an interesting thing to do. I didn't want to break in the middle of a sentence in case one text went missing. One sentence came out shorter than I originally intended because the original sentence was more than 152 characters.
So Merry Christmas, have some cracktastic fic.
And Bring Their Tails Behind Them
Jared is almost unbearably excited when Jensen gets home. He drags Jensen out to the backyard. "Look!"
"Jared," Jensen says patiently, "they're sheep."
"Yeah, but they're our sheep!" Jared shoves the door open and drags Jensen out into the backyard. "You have to come touch them. They're so cool!"
Jensen wonders what ever made him think moving in with Jared was a good idea. Sheep. Sheep, for God's sake. When Jensen gives in and touches one of the sheep, it's nothing like he thought it would be. They look fuzzy, but their wool is seriously thick. If you were shorter than, say, a Sasquatch, you could lose an arm in there.
"Don't you have to shear them?"
"The guy I got them from said we could bring them back in the spring and he'd do it." Jared's still bouncing around. "Isn't this awesome?"
Jensen's tired just looking at him. "Is this because you never got to do 4-H when you were a kid?"
"We lived in San Antonio. We couldn't have livestock in our neighborhood, and my mom wouldn't let me have rabbits." Jared shakes himself. "That's not the point. The point is that sheep are cool and now we have some!"
The sheep are, Jensen has to admit, pretty cute. At least until the first time he steps in sheep shit in the backyard. Jared isn't home to yell at, so he calls Chris.
"Fucking sheep shit!" he swears.
"The fuck are you talking about?" Chris asks.
"Jared bought sheep, and there's sheep shit all over our backyard."
Chris laughs loud and raucous. "That boy has you so whipped."
"I didn't buy them," Jensen protests. "There's fucking sheep shit all over our backyard." He says this a little louder because the front door opens.
Jared walks by totally unconcerned.
"Sheep shit," Jensen says pointedly. Chris laughs. Jared doesn't seem to notice.
"I hate your sheep!" Jensen yells after Jared.
"So whipped," Chris guffaws.
Jensen hangs up on Chris. "Your fucking sheep left sheep shit all over the backyard," he tells Jared.
"My sheep are adorable," Jared insists. "Did you know there are a hundred and fifty yards of wool in a baseball?"
Jensen just stares at him. "Where do you learn these things?" He holds up a hand. "No, wait. I don't want to know." It's like banging his head against a wall. "Let me say this slowly. They left sheep shit all over the backyard. I stepped in it."
Jared is surprisingly, or maybe not so surprisingly, unsympathetic. "Watch where you're walking, then."
"Clean up after your sheep!" Jensen yells, flinging his hands around like the spaz he sometimes is.
"They're livestock," Jared explains very, very patiently. "This is what they're like. I have a book if you want to read it."
"No, I don't want to read it! I want you to clean up after the sheep! Or get rid of them!"
Jared looks positively horrified. "I can't get rid of them. They're my pets. They're already friends with Sadie and Harley."
"I don't want to be friends with a guy whose dogs are friends with sheep." Jensen stomps off to his room. It's not far enough away to really express his irritation. He slams his door for good measure.
Of course, now he's stuck in his room with nothing to do but fume. He falls asleep instead, and when he wakes up, he feels, well, sheepish. Jared's like a big kid when he has something exciting going on. There are few things that make Jared as excited as pets, and Jensen actually likes this about Jared. It's cute.
He goes out of his room and finds Jared on the couch playing Guitar Hero. "I'm sorry," he says.
"I cleaned up the backyard," Jared says.
Jensen sits down next to Jared. "I kind of flipped out," he admits.
Jared pauses the game. "I know." He ruffles Jensen's hair. "It's cool."
Jensen looks out the window at the backyard. "They are kind of cute."
Jared grins broadly. "I told you so."
So the sheep stay and Jared makes regular passes through the backyard to clean up after them.
As the weather gets warmer, Harley and Sadie spend more and more time outside with the sheep, which means Jared and Jensen do too.
Jared's named them Bo and Peep and put colored collars on them so they can tell them apart. Bo is picky about food, and Peep likes Harley best.
"Is this because you broke up with Sandy?" Jensen finally ventures.
Jared looks at him funny.
"I mean, do you think you're never going to have kids?"
"That's not why I'm not having kids," Jared says. "Besides, I can always adopt like Brangelina."
"Did you seriously just say Brangelina?"
Jensen doesn't realize until three days later that Jared successfully diverted him from the kids question.
"Hey," he asks, "is this really about not having kids?"
Jared rests his hand against Jensen's cheek. "Whenever you're ready, you just say the word."
A PA calls them back onto set at just that moment.
"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" Jensen rants to Chris on the phone on his next break.
Jared's off stuffing his face somewhere.
Chris sighs. "The kid's in love with you, you idiot. Just kiss him and adopt some kids already."
"What- Wait- I don't-" Jensen splutters. Chris laughs and hangs up on him, and Jensen glares off in the direction of the food tent.
Jensen does the only thing he can think to do: he hides from Jared for the rest of the day, even going so far as to call a cab at the end of the day. He gets the cab to take him downtown where he makes a stop and then takes another cab home.
"Okay," he says when he comes in the door. "Here." He shoves the jewelry box into Jared's hand. "I'm not having kids without being married first."
Jared beams at him and takes out the ring. He slips it onto his finger, and it fits perfectly.
"It wasn't about having kids," he says. "I liked the sheep." He drapes his arms over Jensen's shoulders. "But you're not getting out of marrying me now." He kisses Jensen. "The kids are gonna love the sheep."
"We have to keep the sheep?" Jensen grumbles. He doesn't really care, and Jared shuts him up with his mouth.
(no subject)
Date: 2008-12-25 07:00 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2008-12-25 09:32 pm (UTC)They can't get rid of the sheep! They're Jared's pets and Sadie and Harley's friends.
(no subject)
Date: 2008-12-25 08:57 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2008-12-25 09:32 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2008-12-27 08:54 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2008-12-28 03:14 am (UTC)