Setting a boundary that's hard to respect.
Apr. 4th, 2008 09:19 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
rsadelleHere's the boundary I'm setting: Unless I ask for it, I don't want help or advice. I just want you to listen.
(When I do ask for help or advice, I most certainly do want it, and you all are awesome for helping me figure out the big linguistic and travel questions about my AU that might become an original novel.)
I understand that this is a very hard boundary to respect. Let me tell you a story: I've been thinking about this because it's a boundary I need to set with one friend, and one that I re-set with another friend last weekend. Then a third friend (yeah, I know this is hard to track; who they are doesn't really matter) is having a hard time. Not only did third friend not ask, third friend specifically asked not to be given help or advice. My first impulse? To send an email with my advice. Luckily I'd already turned off my computer and couldn't follow the impulse. Instead, I had some time to think and had to laugh at myself for it. So this is me not giving unsolicited advice and saying, to those of you with comment-disabled friends-locked posts: I'm here. I'm listening. If you ask, I have advice, but if you don't want it, I won't give it.
(When I do ask for help or advice, I most certainly do want it, and you all are awesome for helping me figure out the big linguistic and travel questions about my AU that might become an original novel.)
I understand that this is a very hard boundary to respect. Let me tell you a story: I've been thinking about this because it's a boundary I need to set with one friend, and one that I re-set with another friend last weekend. Then a third friend (yeah, I know this is hard to track; who they are doesn't really matter) is having a hard time. Not only did third friend not ask, third friend specifically asked not to be given help or advice. My first impulse? To send an email with my advice. Luckily I'd already turned off my computer and couldn't follow the impulse. Instead, I had some time to think and had to laugh at myself for it. So this is me not giving unsolicited advice and saying, to those of you with comment-disabled friends-locked posts: I'm here. I'm listening. If you ask, I have advice, but if you don't want it, I won't give it.