Never-Finished Fic: lotrips, Viggo/Girl!Orlando

[rsadelle]

This is the last one for today, and the last of the lotrips. And, yes, it's a fic where Orlando mysteriously turns into a girl. This one does not end in the middle of a sex scene, although one section does start in the middle of a sex scene.

Something was not right when he woke up. He seemed to be alone, so it wasn't that he'd had another ill-thought-out fling with a fellow cast member. He was glad about that. But something else was wrong, and he was afraid to move before he figured it out. He catalogued his body. No headache, that was good. No nausea either. No morning wood. Wait. No morning wood. No cock at all. At that realization his eyes flew open and he looked down at his body. Breasts. Those were definitely breasts. And below that-- Below that there was only a soft, flat curve of skin where his cock should have been.

The sound that came out of his throat was something like a high-pitched scream.

He scrambled out of bed and examined himself in the mirror. It only confirmed his first impressions.

He needed a grown-up.

Viggo. Viggo was a sensible guy, and he would know what to do. Orlando tried to pull on his favorite pair of jeans and found that his hips were just wide enough to make it uncomfortable. He cursed, still in that unnaturally high-pitched voice, and found his loosest pair of jeans and a shirt that hung loosely enough that his breasts weren't immediately obvious. There wasn't much he could do with his hair, which had somehow grown a bit longer overnight, but he didn't think anyone would recognize him now.

And indeed Viggo didn't recognize him. "Can I help you?" Viggo asked him with polite interest when he opened the door.

"Viggo, it's me."

Viggo looked confused for a moment as he studied him. "Orlando?" he finally asked.

"Yes." He knew Viggo's artist's eyes would be able to see him under what had happened to him.

"Oh my." He could tell Viggo was struggling not to laugh.

"It's not funny."

"No, no, of course not," Viggo said soothingly. He reached out and wrapped one arm around Orlando's shoulders. "Come in." He guided Orlando into the house and sat with him on the couch. "What happened?"

"I don't know. I just woke up like this." Orlando was horrified at the way his voice broke into a sob. "I can't stop," he said after a few quiet, hiccuping sobs.

Viggo nearly laughed again. "Your hormones are probably out of whack." Another thought struck him and he began to laugh. "Or you could be PMSing."

"It's not funny!" Orlando gestured at his body. "What am I supposed to do?"

"Eat complex carbohydrates."

Viggo was, Orlando decided, completely crazy. He should've gone to Sean.

"I'm not crazy," Viggo said as if he could read Orlando's mind. "Complex carbohydrates are the best things for you if you're PMSing."

"I thought women ate chocolate when they were PMSing."

"Simple sugars and caffeine will make it worse."

This was, quite possibly, the weirdest conversation Orlando had ever participated in.

"How do you know that?"

"I was married for ten years." Viggo flashed him a grin. "You pick these things up." He took pity on Orlando and patted his knee. "You just try to relax while I call Liv."

Orlando sniffled a little into his Kleenex and curled himself into the corner of the couch.

Liv picked up on the first ring with a breathless hello.

"Can you come over?" Viggo asked. "Orlando's turned into a girl."

Liv laughed. "I know he's kind of girly sometimes, but I wouldn't call him a girl."

"No, I mean he's a girl. With breasts."

There was silence as Liv digested that. "Breasts?"

"Breasts," Viggo confirmed. "And I think he's PMSing."

Liv began to laugh, and Viggo moved farther into the kitchen so Orlando wouldn't hear it. "Why are you calling me?" she asked when the laughter died down into giggles.

"Well," Viggo said, drawing the word out into nearly three syllables. "You're a girl."

"Thanks for noticing." There was silence for a moment. "I get it, you want me to give him The Talk."

"Yes, please," Viggo said with relief.

Liv snorted. "Coward. I'll be there in a little while. Don't let him have any chocolate."

Viggo chuckled. "I won't." He hung up the phone and looked around the kitchen thoughtfully. "Come in here," he called to Orlando. "I'll make breakfast."

Orlando appeared in the doorway barefoot and absently pushing his hair back from his face. The sight made Viggo catch his breath.

"Complex carbohydrates?" Orlando asked.

"Of course." Viggo found whole wheat bread and a cantaloupe. There was peanut butter somewhere. No one with kids, even if said kid was nearly a teenager, was ever without peanut butter. There were strawberries in his fridge, he discovered. And kiwis.

Orlando sat on a stool at the counter and tucked his feet around the legs to watch Viggo carefully wash and cut up the fruit. Viggo put the bread into the toaster. When it popped up, he put it in front of Orlando with the peanut butter and a knife.

"You do the toast. I'll get plates and tea."

Orlando put his concentration into evenly spreading the peanut butter across the bread while Viggo found three plates and brewed tea.

Liv let herself into the house and came straight to the kitchen. "How are you?" she asked Orlando, tossing her keys onto the counter.

His lower lip trembled. "My balance is all off and my back hurts."

Liv stepped forward and wrapped her arms around him. "Oh, sweetie. It'll be okay." She rubbed his back gently. "Your center of gravity is different, that's all." She pulled back and looked at his face. "And you've got cramps." She kissed his cheek. "Come eat breakfast and then we'll deal with it." She grabbed a Kleenex from the counter and used it to wipe the tears from the corners of Orlando's eyes.

"Thanks, Liv," he sniffed.

She grinned. "That's what girlfriends are for."

Orlando let out a watery chuckle.

"Drink this," Viggo said, putting a cup into Orlando's hand.

Liv stopped him before he could drink. "No caffeine."

"It's herbal," Viggo assured her. "Drink your tea."

Orlando sipped it carefully, letting the warmth seep into him. He followed Viggo and Liv to the table. He tucked his hair back behind his ears before he dug into the food Viggo put in front of him. He was suddenly starving.

"No more," he protested when Viggo tried to put a fourth piece of toast in front of him. "I'm full."

"He'll eat it later," Liv soothed when Viggo looked unhappy. She reached out and took Orlando's hand. "Come with me."

They went into the living room while Viggo put the dishes and food away. Liv gave Orlando a quick rundown on how to use both tampons and pads.

"Tampons are better sometimes, but you'll probably want to start with pads. They're easier." She held up a finger. "Do *not* leave a tampon in for more than eight hours."

Orlando looked a little green, but he nodded.

Liv patted his cheek. "I know it's a little overwhelming, but you'll get used to it."

Orlando pouted, a look that was as deadly on this new, feminine version as it was on the old, masculine one.

Liv frowned. "One more thing. If you have sex, use a condom." She nodded at his widened eyes. "I mean it. If you're like this much longer, we'll have to get you on the pill, but I don't know what that'll do to your body chemistry. And who knows what'll happen if you get pregnant."

Viggo leaned back against the doorway and watched them. "He'll probably crave sour cream with chocolate syrup."

Orlando made a face. "Yuck."

"You say that now. When you're six months pregnant, it'll be the only thing you'll want to eat."

Orlando glared at Viggo. "I'm not getting pregnant."

"Not if you use a condom," Liv reminded him.

"Yes, mom."

Liv reached out and stroked his cheek. "Be careful, honey. Things are going to be different this way."

Orlando nodded. "I know."

"I'll keep an eye on him," Viggo promised.

"You'd better." Liv shook her finger at him sternly. "And no taking advantage of him."

Viggo laughed. "No taking advantage of him."

Orlando looked pained. "And what if I want to be taken advantage of?"

Liv met his eyes seriously. "Someone's going to try. It's better if it's not Viggo."

"Liv--"

"I'm serious, Orlando. Some jerk's going to think that because you're a girl he can take advantage of you. You don't want it to be Viggo."

"I'll be careful," Orlando promised.

"All right." Liv hugged him tightly. "Wrap yourself around a hot water bottle for your cramps." She kissed his cheek. "Call me if you need anything."

"I will. Thanks, Liv."

Liv let herself out, leaving Viggo and Orlando alone again.

"I have a hot water bottle," Viggo said. "It'll take a minute to heat up." He pushed Orlando down onto the couch. "Lie down."

Orlando obligingly lay down and squirmed to find the most comfortable position.

"Here," Viggo said, setting a hot water bottle against Orlando's midsection.

"Oh," Orlando sighed blissfully. "Thank you."

Viggo smiled and pushed Orlando back toward the back of the couch, letting Orlando curl around him as well as the hot water bottle. "You didn't tell me your balance was off," he said, using his large, warm hands to rub circles on Orlando's lower back.

Orlando made a pleased noise. "I thought you'd notice."

Viggo leaned down and brushed his lips across Orlando's cheek. "I'm sorry."

"'S okay. You're taking care of me." Orlando smiled sleepily up at Viggo. "'S nice."

Viggo smiled softly and carded his fingers through Orlando's hair. "Your hair looks good like this." He stroked his thumb across Orlando's cheek. "Go to sleep. You'll feel better after a nap."

"Mkay." Orlando let his eyes drift closed.

Viggo was right; he did feel better after a nap. He was tucked under a blanket and Viggo was sitting on the coffee table facing him with a sketchbook.

"You're drawing me," Orlando said.

"Mmm." Viggo looked up at him and sketched another line.

"Why?"

Viggo set down the sketchbook. "You look different." He reached out and put his hand on Orlando's stomach. "Do you still hurt?"

Orlando stretched. "Some, but it's better."

Viggo smirked. "I told you so."

"Yeah, yeah." Orlando waved him away and sat up. "Ugh." He shook his head. "Now I'm all groggy."

Viggo stood and pulled Orlando up. "Let's go shopping."

"Shopping?"

"You need new clothes."

Orlando frowned. "I have clothes."

"You don't have girl's clothes."

Orlando sat back down with a thump. "Am I going to need them?"

Viggo put his hand on Orlando's head, not rubbing, just resting. "We don't know how long you'll be like this. You'll need some clothes."

Orlando pressed his face forward against Viggo's stomach. "I don't want to be like this forever. I want my body back."

Viggo's hands cupped the back of his head. "Let's go shopping. You'll feel better in clothes that fit."

Orlando laughed shakily. "Okay." He wiped his eyes and stood. "Let's go."

An hour later, he was starting to think that going along with Viggo was a bad idea.

"Do I have to try on every single thing?" he asked in a near-whine.

Viggo only dumped another armful of things onto the stack Orlando was already carrying. "Women's clothes don't have standard sizes." He eyed the pile of cloth. "That's a good start." He led Orlando to a dressing room and flopped down into a chair. "Go try those on. I want to see everything."

Half an hour later, they'd discarded nearly two-thirds of the clothes, and Orlando was left with a pair of jeans, a pair of khakis, two pairs of shorts, an assortment of shirts, and a dress.

"I'm not going to wear it," Orlando said in response to Viggo's decision to keep the dress.

"It looks really good," Viggo told him. "I'll buy it for you," he offered.

Orlando sighed and pushed his hair away from his forehead. "All right," he relented. "Can we go home now?"

"Not yet. You still need underwear."

Orlando looked pained. "Can't I just wear mine?"

"No, you can't," Viggo said patiently. "You can't wear boxers with a dress."

Orlando pouted. It didn't work any better on Viggo than it had on Liv. "I'm not wearing the dress."

"We'll see." Viggo picked out his underwear for him, estimating his size and picking up a package of brightly colored high-cut briefs. Orlando eyed them suspiciously, but didn't protest.

He did protest when they got to the register and Viggo pulled out his credit card. "I can pay for it."

"I said I'd buy it for you."

"You said you'd buy the dress," Orlando reminded him, "not the rest of it."

Viggo pushed Orlando's hands away. "I want to buy it for you."

The clerk smiled at them. "Honey, if he wants to buy you a whole new wardrobe, let him," she advised.

Orlando realized he was outnumbered and let Viggo pay for the clothes.

***

"Oh, God," Orlando said when he could breathe again. "What was that?"

Viggo chuckled, his warm breath brushing against still-sensitive skin. "That," he said, moving up and pressing his lips against Orlando's stomach, "was an orgasm."

"Christ." Orlando let his arm flop over his eyes. "How do women survive that?"

Viggo's tongue flicked against Orlando's skin. "I don't know. They learn, I guess. Or they don't have them."

Orlando removed his arm and stared down at Viggo. "Don't have them?" he asked incredulously. "But that was the most amazing thing I've ever felt."

Viggo grinned at him. "And as a woman, you get more than one." He moved the fingers still buried inside Orlando. "Up for another round?" He brushed his fingers against Orlando's clit, making him shiver.

"You're trying to kill me," Orlando accused.

Viggo laughed. "I promise I'm not trying to kill you." He kissed Orlando's stomach. "I just want to fuck you."

Orlando laughed and tossed a condom package down the bed. "Use that. You don't want me to end up pregnant."

Viggo pressed his lips against Orlando's stomach reverently. "I would love for you to carry my child," he said, stopping Orlando's laughter. "But I don't think you're ready for that."

"Christ, Viggo," Orlando said, awed.

Viggo pushed himself up on his knees and smiled gently down at Orlando. He tore the condom wrapper and carefully slipped on the condom. "Tell me if it hurts." He pushed slowly into Orlando.

"Okay?" he asked.

Orlando nodded. "Yeah." He reached up and touched Viggo. "Feels weird."

"Hang on a sec." Viggo carefully rolled them over so Orlando was on top. His weight drove Viggo just that much deeper into him.

Orlando's mouth opened into a small "o". "I had no idea."

Viggo chuckled. "How would you?" He put one hand on Orlando's hip and pushed him. "Move."

Orlando smirked and snapped a salute. "Yes, sir."

Viggo laughed. "Brat."

Orlando began to move, and Viggo's eyes drifted shut. His hands roamed over Orlando's body, brushing against his breasts, stroking his stomach, moving down to rub his clit. Orlando moved faster, working toward his second orgasm. Before he could get there, Viggo bucked up sharply and yelled with his own orgasm. Orlando whimpered in frustration.

"Sorry," Viggo apologized when he'd caught his breath. "I'll--"

"Can't wait," Orlando gasped. He pulled himself off of Viggo's cock and replaced it with his own fingers.

Viggo forced his eyes to stay open to watch. He had a vision of Orlando the boy overlaying Orlando the girl. Orlando's hands stroking his cock overlaid Orlando's hands stroking his clit. Orlando rocking back on fingers in his ass overlaid Orlando rocking down onto the fingers in his cunt.

He blinked, and there was only one Orlando, the female one, above him. He moved his eyes up Orlando's body, stopping at the round curves of his breasts. He let his gaze rest there, seeing the shape and texture of them. He looked up at Orlando's face, and watched his closed eyes and open mouth as he came.

Orlando slowly let his fingers slide out of his still-shuddering body. "That's fucking intense," he said. He slid down to lie against Viggo. "I like being a girl."

Viggo laughed. "You say that now, but you'll be bitching about it during your next round of PMS."

"Mmm. Don't remind me." Orlando nuzzled against Viggo's neck. "I'm tired. Think that's a holdover from being a man?"

Viggo kissed his hair. "Maybe. Not all women want to talk after sex."

Orlando turned to look up at Viggo, his hair brushing against Viggo's sweaty skin. "You've slept with a lot of women, haven't you?"

"Yes."

"Huh." Orlando put his cheek back down against Viggo's shoulder. "No wonder you're so good." He lay silently for a moment, then said, "I think I'm going to sleep." His words were slurred.

Viggo chuckled. "You go right ahead."

***

"Someone got laid last night," Liv said to Orlando at breakfast the next morning.

Orlando blushed. "I don't know what you're talking about."

Liv snorted. "He didn't take his hands off you all night. You got laid." She popped a grape into her mouth. "So?"

"So what?" Orlando reached across her to grab a donut.

"So is he good in bed?"

Orlando promptly choked on his donut. "Liv!"

"It's a perfectly reasonable question," she said, stripping grapes off their stems and popping them into her mouth.

"It is not. You can't just ask me that."

Liv rolled her eyes. "Stop being such a prude. Tell me how it was."

"No, Liv."

"Come on," she urged. "Indulge a frustrated gossip."

Orlando furtively looked around to make sure no one was watching them. "It was great," he said in a low voice that wasn't quite a whisper. "I had no idea sex was so good for women."

Liv grinned. "It's not always great. But I'm not surprised Viggo was good." She glanced across the room at Viggo and Sean's chess game. "He looks like he'd be good in bed."

"He's mine. Get your own man," Orlando mock-growled.

Liv reached out and brushed Orlando's hair back. "I know he's yours. I saw the way he looked at you before he dragged you out of there last night."

"He didn't drag me out of there."

Liv smirked. "No, that's true. You went willingly."

Orlando ducked away from her and grabbed a second donut. "Can't you torture someone else?" he asked.

She laughed. "You love it."

"I love him," Orlando said without meaning to. He looked down at his donut. "Do you think he'll still want me if I change back?" he asked softly.

Liv sighed. "Honey, I don't know."

"I want him to."

Liv leaned forward and kissed his cheek. "I know you do." She picked up a plate and began putting food on it. "Get your food and come sit with me."

Orlando threw a sidelong glance at Viggo. "Okay."

Liv added some cantaloupe to his plate. "We can go sit with him."

Orlando flashed her a smile. "Thanks."

Liv smirked. "He might even let you sit on his lap if you look cute while doing it."

Orlando flushed lightly and put one hand up to his face to hide it. "I hate this," he muttered.

Liv pushed at him. "Go on. I want some coffee."

Orlando put his plate down next to Viggo's and smirked at him before sitting on his lap. "Liv said I could do this."

Viggo put one arm around Orlando and sipped at his coffee. "Okay." He took a donut from Orlando's plate. "Eat your breakfast."

Orlando rolled his eyes. "Yes, Dad."

Viggo laughed and nipped at Orlando's neck. "I hope you never had a relationship like this with any of your father figures."

Orlando smiled shyly at him. "Just you." His fingers brushed against the back of the Viggo's neck.