Snippet: How I Met Your Mother
Sep. 3rd, 2007 07:22 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
rsadelle"Why do you look so happy?"
Barney's smile only got more self-satisfied. Which was pretty amazing, considering that this was Barney.
"Threesome," he said.
Marshall almost choked on his drink. "You did not."
"Oh, yes, I did. Oral sex with two people at the same time." Barney raised his glass. "That's a threesome." He sipped, still looking unbearably self-satisfied.
"That is not."
"It is too. Oral sex is sex. Unless you're Bill Clinton, and I'm not Bill Clinton."
"I don't know," Robin said. "I've seen you with a cigar." Then she frowned. "Wait a minute. You said, 'people.' Not 'women' or 'girls,' but 'people.'"
Barney paused with his drink halfway to his mouth. "So what?"
"So," Robin said. "You said 'people.' Your threesome had another guy in it."
Barney didn't bother to deny it, and Robin had sharp eyes to go with her sharp ears.
"You're blushing!"
"I am not," Barney and Marshall said at the same time.
Barney looked at Marshall and half-laughed. "Oh, not me."
"Oh, my God!"
"What?" Ted asked. Then he looked from Robin to Barney to Marshall and Lily. "No, oh no."
"Oh, yes," Barney said.
"Look, Ted," Marshall said, "I know you always thought that if we had a threesome it would be with you."
"Oh, honey, we were never going to have a threesome with Ted," Lily said.
"What? But he's Ted. We live with him."
"Well, yeah," Lily said, "we live with him, but we're never having a threesome with him."
"What's wrong with me?" Ted asked.
"Oh," Lily assured him, "there's nothing wrong with you. Really, honey," she said to Marshall, "there's nothing wrong with him. But if Ted's ever going to have a threesome, he'll be drunk, and it'll be with Barney and a stripper."
"What?" Ted protested. "It will not." He looked to Robin for support.
She shrugged at him. "Sorry, Ted. She's right."
"Hey, Ted," Barney said. "Want to go to a strip club?"
Barney's smile only got more self-satisfied. Which was pretty amazing, considering that this was Barney.
"Threesome," he said.
Marshall almost choked on his drink. "You did not."
"Oh, yes, I did. Oral sex with two people at the same time." Barney raised his glass. "That's a threesome." He sipped, still looking unbearably self-satisfied.
"That is not."
"It is too. Oral sex is sex. Unless you're Bill Clinton, and I'm not Bill Clinton."
"I don't know," Robin said. "I've seen you with a cigar." Then she frowned. "Wait a minute. You said, 'people.' Not 'women' or 'girls,' but 'people.'"
Barney paused with his drink halfway to his mouth. "So what?"
"So," Robin said. "You said 'people.' Your threesome had another guy in it."
Barney didn't bother to deny it, and Robin had sharp eyes to go with her sharp ears.
"You're blushing!"
"I am not," Barney and Marshall said at the same time.
Barney looked at Marshall and half-laughed. "Oh, not me."
"Oh, my God!"
"What?" Ted asked. Then he looked from Robin to Barney to Marshall and Lily. "No, oh no."
"Oh, yes," Barney said.
"Look, Ted," Marshall said, "I know you always thought that if we had a threesome it would be with you."
"Oh, honey, we were never going to have a threesome with Ted," Lily said.
"What? But he's Ted. We live with him."
"Well, yeah," Lily said, "we live with him, but we're never having a threesome with him."
"What's wrong with me?" Ted asked.
"Oh," Lily assured him, "there's nothing wrong with you. Really, honey," she said to Marshall, "there's nothing wrong with him. But if Ted's ever going to have a threesome, he'll be drunk, and it'll be with Barney and a stripper."
"What?" Ted protested. "It will not." He looked to Robin for support.
She shrugged at him. "Sorry, Ted. She's right."
"Hey, Ted," Barney said. "Want to go to a strip club?"
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Date: 2007-09-04 02:34 am (UTC)(no subject)
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