On Letting Go

[rsadelle]

I've had this daydream going about moving to Hawaii. I have no idea if I would like living in Hawaii, or the life in my daydream. Hawaii is my practical - because it doesn't require another language or dealings with immigration - version of moving off to some exotic locale. But I've had the daydream nonetheless. Some of you might be thinking, "Yeah? So what?" So here's what: this is not a daydream I've had before. I'm excessively practical and actually fairly conventional. I'm not one for the "giving up the daily grind and going somewhere exotic" ideal. But for the past couple of days, that's what I've been daydreaming about.

I think this is a surprising (at least to me) side effect of getting rid of a whole bunch of stuff. I feel free, light, untangled. Suddenly, giving up the daily grind and moving somewhere exotic doesn't seem quite so far off and impossible.

I love this feeling.

***

Every time I go through my bookshelves, it gets easier to let go of things. I've already taken down all the Harry Potter action figures and put them in a "I'm thinking about these" bag in my closet. I did that only a week or two ago, and I already know I don't want them anymore. Yesterday, I looked at my shelves and thought, "I could always get Harry Potter from the library." This was immediately followed by two more thoughts: "I should keep book 7 until Brad's done reading it," and, "I'm shedding my fannish self."

***

I've been crying a lot (well, okay, not that much, but since it's now been a while since I last cried, it seems like a lot) over the past few days, and I don't really know why. I'm not PMSing. There isn't much going on that merits crying. It made me think of two things.

First, at the beginning of the year, I decided I wanted to improve my posture. I read about the Alexander Technique, but never followed through with it because I didn't want to spend money on a teacher. I do remember reading something Alexander said, though, that there will be a point where everything the student does feels wrong. And, sure enough, there was a point where everything felt wrong with my posture.

Secondly, there's a point in Eat Pray Love where Elizabeth Gilbert falls apart while in the ashram in India. She hides herself away in the bathroom to cry, and she says that someone else would have told her that of course this is a point you go through in that kind of intense spiritual journey.

So maybe this is why I'm crying. I'm letting go.

Comments

[meacoustic.livejournal.com]

Should we skip Greece and got to Hawaii instead?

re: shedding the fannish self - I've been going through some of that too, and at one point I thought to myself "it's growing up" but then I immediately decided I didn't like the negative connotations that phrase puts on fannish-ness. So I was trying to think of a better way to phrase it, and I think you hit the nail on the head.

[rsadelle]

If I were less practical, I'd be daydreaming about moving to Greece or the Caribbean! (I think flights from Sacramento are sometimes really cheap; I'm half toying with the idea of taking a vacation to Hawaii. But we should still go to Greece!)

I'm thinking of it like a snake that sheds the skins that it doesn't need anymore.

[allegram.livejournal.com]

Right now Aloha air should have some pretty cheap fares. They get pretty heavy traffic during the winter and height of summer, but the fall is slower for them and you can get some excellent fares (if you want a package thing I suggest trying www.bestfares.com for short-term but cheap packages.

[rsadelle]

I already have too many vacations scheduled! I'm going to Monterey at the end of this month, to Wisconsin at the end of September, to Fresno in mid-October, and to San Francisco at the beginning of November.

Alexander Technique

[(Anonymous)]

I definitely suggest further investigation of the Technique. You can learn more at their website, httP://alexandertechnique.com - including a section on self-study resources.

Re: Alexander Technique

[rsadelle]

Yeah, I read a bit about self-study. The appeal of Alexander Technique for me was much more in having a person there to guide me.

[dedalvs.livejournal.com]

Why Erin and I aren't in Hawai'i right now. (http://dedalvs.free.fr/images/dave6.jpg)

[rsadelle]

Well, with a reason like that, you couldn't be!