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At one time, I wanted a story where Kane gets over Toews with the Sharps. I wrote almost ten thousand words of it without ever getting to the kissing or porn, and then I got fed up with Patrick Kane and both Cinco de Kaner and the lockout totally jossed the story and I never went back to it. There are some notes at the end about what else was going to happen.

Story )
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Having a job again means I once again have real three-day weekends. It also means that as I've been adjusting to working, the only writing I've been doing is on very long projects (all three of them are over 40,000 words now), and I could use some creative refreshment. Therefore: three-day weekend prompt snippets!

Leave me a prompt by, say, Saturday evening, and I will write you something by Monday night. Fine print/guidelines: One per person. Lurkers welcome. I will write hockey, but not Patrick Kane. I may write other fandoms; feel free to ask if you want something else. I may veer from your prompt. I will take lyric prompts, but be forewarned that I'm not necessarily good at them. I make no promises about length, but in the past prompt snippets have tended to be 300-3000 words. If there are a lot of prompts, filling them may stretch into next weekend.
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[ profile] duckgirlie recorded podfic of The Best Thing That's Ever Been Mine. (T.J Oshie/Jonathan Toews, "They never stopped loving each other, not really.") You can find the headers/cover/download links here on AO3. I'm delighted she liked it enough to record it, and you should check it out if podfic is your thing!
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[ profile] bessyboo recorded podfic of Keep You On My Arm. (Patrick Kane/Jonathan Toews, "In which the gay bar is Stalberg's idea and Kaner doesn't notice Jon pretending to be his boyfriend.") It is part of the #ITPE: Informal Twitter Podfic Exchange 2012, and I'm delighted she chose to record it. There is a cover there that is worth looking at. If podfic is your kind of thing, check it out: MP3 | Podbook
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There should totally be a story where Kane and Toews are actually straight dudes who are just weird about each other, but Segs is cheerfully bisexual and poly/slutty. (I mean slutty in a good way, of course.)

"I think he just doesn't do dudes," Tyler says to Brownie over Skype, and Brownie looks as confused as he feels. It doesn't make sense, but Tyler's pretty sure by now. He's given it his best material, everything but straight out asking, "Wanna fuck?" and Pat hasn't gone for any of it. People who are into dick fool around with him or tell him they're not interested by this point.

And then Jon comes to visit, and he and Pat are hanging out at Tyler and Marc's place, and they're chirping each other, like they do, and Marc says something about how Tyler is "just mad because he's not getting laid."

Jon says something about how he could go out and hook up, and Tyler says, "It's so much work, especially when you don't speak the language."

Marc laughs and says, "It's not about that. He has a boyfriend."

"He's not my boyfriend," Tyler says.


Tyler rolls his eyes. "He's not. He just gives the best head of anyone I know."

"He gives the best head because he's been blowing you since you were sixteen and knows what you like," Marc says.

Pat and Jon are just watching them, and doing a very bad job of hiding their surprise.

"I guess you don't have to go out if you have someone at home," Jon says carefully.

"Not at home, exactly," Tyler says. "In the summer, yeah, but he's four hours away during the season. Good thing Fred lives in Boston. Not quite as good at giving head, but he makes up for it in other ways."

And then Pat and Jon are even more baffled by the whole thing.

I have no idea where this would be going; I just reached my limit for everyone's gay in Switzerland stories.
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Summary: "You won't be lonely," Lindsey says. "Jonathan's going to be there all week. You can't tell me you're not going to spend half that time screwing."

Notes: Lindsey is Mike Richards' real life girlfriend. If you object to that sort of thing, you should skip this story.

Jonathan Toews really did spend some time near Kenora this summer, some of it just after Lindsey left, but the part where he spends some of it in Mike Richards' bed is fictional.

Title from Empires' "Hello Lover."

Story on AO3

Don't You Miss Me )
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Summary: They never stopped loving each other, not really.

Notes: Many thanks to [ profile] lakeeffectgirl for cheerleading and to her and [ profile] liketheroad for helping me figure out one of the details. Title from Taylor Swift's "Mine." The other title option was "Conversations After Sex: A Love Story."

Story on AO3

The Best Thing That's Ever Been Mine )
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Summary: Tazer gives it a couple of days and the beginning of a visit from Kaner's mom that exiles him back to his own condo before he says, "You're going to need a nanny."

Notes: Sometimes I write silly things over Twitter, and then add a little to them so they're slightly more like a story.

Story on AO3

Our Family or Whatever )
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Summary: In which the gay bar is Stalberg's idea and Kaner doesn't notice Jon pretending to be his boyfriend.

Notes: Thank you to everyone who provided suggestions of boyfriendy things and talked to me about endearments. Special thanks to [ profile] lakeeffectgirl for cheerleading along the way. Title from Justin Bieber's "Boyfriend."

Story on AO3

Keep You On My Arm )
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Summary: So then Pat stops and thinks about it. Because they've talked about how their kids are going to play hockey together and how Jonny can take them golfing and how Pat is never allowed to name a kid after Kanye, no matter how awesome he is. But he's never actually said that the kids they're talking about are going to be his and Jonny's together. He always thought that part was obvious.

Notes: This is more not!fic than fic. It's entirely based on this article about the house Kaner bought, which quotes a realtor who says, "This is not like the starter home. This is it, a lifetime house."

Story on AO3

According to Plan )
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Summary: He and Jonny hook up sometimes, sober on the road, drunk at home, but Pat isn't thinking about that, not when he takes Jonny's jersey and not later, when he's getting ready for bed in a room that's too empty with just him in it and he opens his bag to the bright red of a jersey. He just takes the jersey out of his bag and pulls it on over his t-shirt.

Notes: Many thanks to [ profile] lakeeffectgirl for audiencing and beta duties (all remaining errors are my own) and [ profile] schuyler for the timely local weather report as measured by dudebro attire. Title from Amanda Marshall's "Red Magic Marker."

Story on AO3

Written All Over My Face )
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This is not a happy plot bunny. I was having a really terrible week when I wrote it out, and I never got to the happy ending (which was not going to be Kane/Toews). I will never write this story, but if anyone else wants to take it on, feel free.

Warning: Depression and unspecified suicidal/self-harming ideation.

Depressed Kaner )
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All I'm writing these days is hockey fic. Including a story that fulfills my theory that my participation in a fandom is not complete until I write a story about someone getting pregnant. So, WIP post! Have some samples of things I'm writing.

Kane/Toews, Babyfic )

Crosby/Ovechkin, De-aged!Sidney )

Oshie/Toews Star-Crossed Lovers )

Kane/Toews, Gay Bar and Obliviousness )

Girl!Crosby/Ovechkin Babyfic )

Kane/Toews, Clothes Sharing and Feelings )

Unsolved Problems, A List

Suggestions welcome!
  • As you may have noticed, I haven't really decided how to refer to Kane and Toews in the narrative.

  • I need to watch way more Ovechkin and Malkin interviews to get their English speech patterns down.

  • I need to come up with ways for Kane and Toews to be couply in their normal lives in the gay bar and obliviousness story.

  • The girl!Crosby/Ovechkin story needs a lot of work. Even I don't believe Syd sleeping with Alex the first time, and I wrote it. Also, my tentative summary for the story is "Sydney Crosby is a hockey player, not a mother," and so far it's mostly about Syd and Alex hooking up.

  • The clothes sharing and feelings story so far follows a reality-based timeline, which means I either need to finish it now or only write little bits of it at a time throughout the playoffs. (Why do hockey playoffs take two months? I don't understand.)
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The one thing I've been lamenting about hockey fandom is its lack of kink fic. There's a lot of casual kink - people enjoying being manhandled/held down/bitten - but not much of the more serious variety. Then along came [ profile] liketheroad with a complicated kindness. I'm sure you've heard me say before that my cardinal rule of sex scenes is that how they feel is more important than what they do, and this is increasingly true the more people in the scene or the kinkier it is. "a complicated kindness" hews true to that rule. She fades to black for half the sex scene, which works incredibly well because (a) the story is all about the feeling of the kink and (b) it's the kind of sex scene where you could easily get stuck on what they're doing and forget to show us how they feel. The whole story has exactly the fantastic kind of feeling I want from d/s fic. It does take place in high school, so if that's not your thing, you shouldn't read it. It also does exactly what I've been pondering when thinking about kink and hockey players being young and has them look things up on the internet.
Shaking still, he types in another link, but it doesn’t take him to more porn, which sucks a lot, but is probably helpful in terms of Patrick’s goal of not coming in his pants.

He tries to focus on the text in front of him, and after blinking at it stupidly for awhile Patrick realizes he’s reading some kind of a FAQ on bondage and sadomasochism. Patrick kind of wants to skip it and see if there’s more porn, but it was on Johnny’s list so that means he has to read it.

It seems pretty straightforward to Patrick. He never thought to lay things out like the website does, but he finds himself nodding a lot, feeling like he wants to fist-bump whoever wrote the responses. Like, who wouldn’t want to get tied up? Seems like a pretty fucking great idea. He imagines rope digging into his wrists and thinks he would still prefer Johnny’s hands, but if Johnny was the one watching him struggle against them, Patrick figures he could probably make do.

Same goes for getting hit, getting choked. It all sounds fucking awesome, if you ask Patrick, and really the only thing he doesn’t get is why anyone would want something different. Pain is - in hockey pain is how you know you’re doing good, how you know you’re working hard enough. It should burn a little. It should leave you gasping, emptied out, wanting more.

If hockey’s like that, and hockey is the best thing in the world, Patrick figures sex can’t be that much different. It might even be better, maybe, but he doesn’t really know. Mostly, all Patrick knows is that whatever he’s doing, he wants to be doing it with Johnny.
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There are two stories behind this entry. The first is that I was going to make it yesterday, because I think there should be something different for the Ides of March. Then we were ridiculously busy at work, and I didn't want to do anything but wallow in reading fic when I got home. The other story is that when I can't get my shit together (and this is the first week of 2012 where I have gotten my shit together), I pick a fandom I don't care about and read a lot of fic. So here are some recs from three previously-unread fandoms.


I have now read a lot of Avengers fic, and I feel like a terrible fangirl for saying this, but I don't really get it. Maybe if I'd seen more of the movies than just Thor. There are two stories I've liked:

Safeword by melannen. The author's summary for this is, "Tony Stark doesn't need to be safe, sane, and consensual. He has JARVIS instead. (Then he gets Steve.)" JARVIS is the pov character, which makes it a particularly interesting story.
The next time Tony specifically requested that JARVIS observe one of his encounters, the other participant was a man who did not yet appear in any of JARVIS's databases. He was tall, burly, had a few days' beard stubble and a leather jacket, and smelled of distilled alcohol and engine exhaust. He must have been someone Tony met in a bar or other location where casual encounters were commonly negotiated.

He was, at several points, rather rough with Tony, and notably demanding. However, he never seemed to have any air of malice about him, and in fact appeared to be quite carefully monitoring and reacting to Tony's level of enjoyment. And Tony never offered any signs of distress; entirely the contrary, in fact. There were several points at which JARVIS considered the possibility that he was expected to interfere, but in the end, he simply let the encounter play out.

The next morning he asked Tony if his lack of action had been appropriate.

"Oh, yeah, don't worry about it," Tony said through his smoothie. "He was considerate all the way. Guess that shows me not to judge people by appearance, huh? Thanks for caring, though, you're great."
Thor is the one movie I saw, and Darcy was my favorite character in it. I discovered, as I read Avengers fic, that I will read any and all Clint/Darcy. Gift of Asylum by carleton97 and Sister_Wolf is my absolute favorite. Clint and Darcy have really hot sex in a bar bathroom, and years later meet again as part of the Avengers Initiative.
Sleep is just about winning when bar stool girl drops two tequila shots in front of him and says, "Drink up. I'm at least two drinks ahead and you look like you can hold your liquor."

Clint jerks back, surprised again that a civilian girl managed to get so far into his personal space. "Excuse me?"

She gestures impatiently at the drinks. "You seem like you would hesitate to take advantage of a drunken me. I'm trying to fix that."

"Are you kidding?"

She gives him a flat, unimpressed look. "Do I look like I'm kidding? Listen, the math is simple: a few drinks plus you plus me equals sex. If you're not into it, let me know now and I'll stop wasting my time."

Clint isn't used to girls being so blunt about it. Normally a bar hook-up is flirting, a little kissing and "do you want to go back to my place for some coffee?" But hey, she's cute, she's a little weird but not in a bad way, and she wants to have sex with him. Clint is not an idiot.

Clint gives her one of his best charming grins and tips both of the shots back, one after the other.
X-Men: First Class

As you may remember, I loathed the movie with the fiery passion of a thousand suns, but a couple of weeks ago, [ profile] brown_betty made a post of recs for AUs where Erik is in a position to mentor people. I did read all four stories (although not the sequel to one of them) before I had to stop because it was just making my rant about the movie loop in my head. The best of the stories she recced is If You Liked The Book, You'll Hate The Movie by paperclipbitch. Erik is a high school guidance counselor, Alex and Hank are both in mandated therapy with him, Hank and Emma are best friends, Raven tries out everything, Sean is the lead singer of a band, and Erik refuses to sleep with Charles.
Mr Lehnsherr had a smile with too many teeth in and a bare office with no inspirational posters about mental health or life in general or anything in it, and the thin, mean look of a guy with bodies under concrete in his basement. He watched Alex’s glare and calculated silence for five minutes without saying anything, and then said: “I’m Erik.”

Alex had had his fair share of call-me-by-my-first-name-and-now-we’re-friends psychiatrists, and while he didn’t say it aloud, he let his scorn curl across his face.

Erik grinned. “Oh,” he said, “I’m not trying to be your friend here. I have no interest in being your friend because I’ve read your file and you’re an asshole. But I think we can let formality slide since we’re basically here to keep you from killing anyone else.
Hockey RPF

I originally started reading Hockey RPF because I wanted something to read and I was promised soulbonding, but I have to admit it's totally my fandom now. I have no interest in hockey as a sport, but hockey fic? Yes, please. Three reasons hockey fandom is awesome:
  1. It takes place in our real world - no pesky canon to learn!

  2. Most of the fic is about people living together/hooking up/otherwise making a life together while being oblivious to/dumb about the fact that they're in love, but in an adorable way.

  3. No one in hockey fandom can quite believe they're in hockey fandom, so everyone who talks about it is hilarious about it.
The first rec is the Kane and Toews primer by [ profile] totheviktor. Even if you have no interest in these people or this fandom, you should read the primer (you don't have to watch the videos; I've only watched a few, and that was well after I read the primer the first time). I laughed all the way through it.
Patrick Kane is a hideous hockey-playing weirdo who is bad at every aspect of life. "An unattractive, terrible dude?" you say. "He sounds like the worst! Tell me more! Does he happen to have a somewhat attractive, bossy captain/teammate/roommate/BFF/bromeo in his life? Do they perhaps have popsicle eating contests, weep over movies, fail miserably at fighting, buy matching furniture, read Twilight, and get called married by their mothers? As men do?"

Hockey RPF has an entire subgenre of fic where people teach Sidney Crosby about sex/feelings/having fun. Heart in Hand (Sidney Crosby/Alexander Ovechkin) by salifiable is my favorite of them. It's very long (130,000 words), so either plan to stop in the middle or don't start reading until you can read all the way through. It is worth the time. It's fantastic. You may want to skip/skim the first sex scene; it's dub con in a way that is uncomfortable to read.
"Oh my god, stop that," he says, pulling Ovechkin away from the glass where the other player is crossing his eyes and trying to touch his tongue to his nose, apparently engaging in a silly-face contest with a kid in the front row. Sid feels like telling the kid that there's no way he can win, Ovechkin has too much of a head start in that race. "C'mon, we need to start practicing."

"Okay, great! What we practice today, Sid?" Ovechkin says, bouncing up and down.

"Well, I've been working on getting better defensively," Sid says. "But you wanted to improve your game, right? What do you think you need to work on? What criticisms of your game did you hear last year?" he asks.

"Russian, dirty player, no defense, choker, predictable, dirty hitter, no defense, show-off, not team player, choker, Russian, dirty, selfish, bad fashion, bad dancer," Ovechkin rattles off.

"Whoa, whoa," Sid says. "Wait, what?"

"I know, right? I dress great, and I'm good dancer!" Ovechkin says indignantly.

"No, I mean..." What Sid really means is that he had no idea Ovechkin had taken all the criticism aimed at him so much to heart.

"But hey, we can work on defense together!" Ovechkin says, brightening. "By end of summer, we gonna be Selke nominees, tell Datsyuk he can't have any more."
You know how Twilight is terrible? Well, if you make it gay and humorous, then it becomes delightful. Where the Wild Things Are (Patrick Kane/Jonathan Toews) by liketheroad is such a story.
He approaches Johnny slowly, hands up in the air. “No touching, okay, I get it,” he says, using a soft, coaxing voice, but Johnny just presses his shoulders back tighter against the wall. It looks like his nails are trying to dig into the plaster.

“Don’t break the wall, man,” Patrick says. “There’s probably asbestos in there. You could die, and that would hurt.”

It’s a serious fucking concern, because Patrick is a good guy and only looking out for Johnny’s best interests, so he’s almost offended when Johnny starts to laugh.

Okay, that’s a lie. Johnny’s face cracks open with his laughter, his body unfolds, turning loose and bent double, and Patrick stands in front of him, his hands raised triumphantly in the air.
One of the things I really enjoy about hockey fandom is the commitment to stories where one dude plays hockey and the other dude used to but is now homeless/poor/a hooker. The first one of those I read was Knocking Me Dead (Ryan Kesler/Andrew Ladd) by beatperfume. It's fluffy and delightful, and my absolute favorite variety of hooker AU.
Over the next few weeks, Andrew takes a pair of Kesler’s gloves, a Coach bag containing a present for his mom, a travel coffee mug, and his expensive sunglasses. Some of it Kesler gets back (his mom’s present, his mug) and some he doesn't (he doesn’t even bring up the gloves). But he always has to go back and ask, and every time he ends up having sex with Andrew. The fact that each time, he comes prepared with a couple hundred in cash is something he doesn't think about. He also doesn't think about the fact that he doesn't get mad anymore when he realizes something is missing.

Whatever. He's getting laid and he's playing great, so there's really no need to complain.
The other thing this fandom has a serious commitment to is babyfic. This comment/chatfic by [ profile] shoemaster and [ profile] go_gentle is such a story. Erik Staal and Jeff Skinner have a one-night stand when Jeff is seventeen, and it results in a baby. If you are not into mpreg, this story is safe for you since it skips to Jeff showing up with the baby.
He brings their stuff inside and drops it in the hall the second he sees Jeff holding Maggie. She smiles when she sees him, and he's so glad she didn't forget him, even if it was a stupid thing to worry about.

"Hey little one," he says, leaning down to kiss her forehead. "Papa missed you."

Jeff is just beaming at both of them and it just feels like home, and it feels like family, and Eric just wants to pull Jeff into his arms and hold them both.

"I missed the way she smells," Jeff admits.

"Way better than the locker rooms at Nassau," Eric agrees, stroking Maggie's cheek.

They stand there grinning at each other for few moments.

Eric finally breaks the moment. "Who's hungry? C'mon, I'll make dinner," he says, putting his hand on Jeff's back to herd him towards the kitchen.
I am semi-systematically reading my way through the hockey RPF at AO3 (there are only 632 of them, and I've already read a fair number of the really long ones), but I will take recs for fic if you are also enjoying this fandom! I am perfectly happy to read these without knowing anything about any of the characters, so team/pairing is unimportant.


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