Hockey Plot Bunnies Free to a Good Home
Oct. 20th, 2012 07:48 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
rsadelleHave some plot bunnies! I am never going to write these things, but you should feel free to do so. If you do, you should link me to it so I can read it.
Kane, Toews
Patrick knows that Johnny's gay. It's cool, whatever. Patrick doesn't judge. He knows Johnny hooks up sometimes too, mostly on the road, mostly dudes who don't know anything about hockey. Patrick hangs out with Sharpy or whoever's around when that happens and lets Johnny have their hotel room. Whatever. Patrick is not the kind of dude who's going to cockblock his best friend. But now Johnny's been going on dates. With one guy. In Chicago. And that shit is just not on. If anyone is going to monopolize Johnny's free time and continue a campaign to make him Captain Less Serious, it's going to be Patrick.
I've been thinking about the plot bunny where Tazer is gay which is fine with Kaner until he starts dating one guy, and the beginning would have to have some examples of Tazer hooking up. One of them would be All Star Weekend, when Kaner walks in on him with a guy, and later is all, "Sorry, man. But, dude, were you banging a Staal? Way to go!"
*
Kaner starts dating a serious, bossy woman, who someone explains to him is basically the girl version of Tazer. And of course Kaner doesn't get why this is a problem. Tazer is his best friend; why wouldn't he want to date a chick who's like him?
*
You know what would be hilarious? Kaner and Tazer (not yet together) going on a tropical vacation and then hating it because it's so hot. (Note: I did use basically this same joke in another story, but other people should feel free to steal it.)
*
There should be porn where Tazer is super bossy in bed and telling Kaner just how hard to fuck him.
*
Once upon a time, there was a zamboni bunk bed on etsy: Patrick Kane buys it and Tazer can't believe how ridiculous he is and then they fuck on the steps.
*
Tazer dates someone (boy or girl, whatever) who is totally spontaneous and carefree, which is great at first, but then it turns out this person is a total flake and can't show up when they're supposed to do things and doesn't seem to think that's a problem. So Tazer breaks up with them, and then he's drunkenly complaining about it to Kaner and says that he wants someone more like Kaner who is spontaneous and carefree sometimes, but also dedicated and serious when it comes to important things. And then he thinks about it later and decides he should just date Kaner.
*
The thing is, Jonny gets it. It feels good when he gets himself off, and he can see how guys would want to go after that every chance they get. It's just that, well, he partied with T.J. in college, and T.J. did the whole older dude initiating Jonny into the world thing and made sure he got laid. Jonny said all the right things about how great it was the next day, but it was mostly a lie. Sure, he came, but it wasn't anything special. He could have just jerked off and it would have been the same.
Jonny is nothing if not dedicated, so he tries again, a few more girls T.J. hooks him up with. He thinks he gets better at it, but it's never anything that great, so after a while he just stops trying. He needs to focus on hockey anyway. Hockey is enough, and if he really wants to get off, he has lotion and his own hand. (Note: I think this was going to be a story where he didn't enjoy sex because he's gay so obviously sex with women doesn't really do it for him.)
Briouxs
I totally want a story where Claude and Danny aren't together, and they just kind of roll with the jokes, and then they hook up, and they're both freaked out about it/what it means, and that's why Claude moves out.
*
I think girl!Claude has the potential to be very interesting. Danny didn't ask Claudette Giroux to move in because he was hitting on her or because he thought his boys needed another mom. He asked her to move in because she fits in well with his family and because he knew she was lonely living by herself.
*
Couturier gets de-aged. Obviously Danny would have to take care of him, and Claude would help, and they would have all these feelings about each other and how they are with the toddler.
*
There should be a story where sometimes when they're at home but Sylvie has the boys, Claude brings people home. And since Danny's room is right next to Claude's, he has to listen to Claude having sex.
*
They talk about kids a lot. Not just the boys, who they talk about all the time - who has to be where when, how to get them to settle down and do their homework without fighting, how they can make sure they eat healthy enough when neither of them cook - but also about how Danny always wanted a bunch of kids but three was the limit for what Sylvie could handle on her own when he was gone, and how Claude thinks about having kids too, not just raising their boys, but what it would be like to have a baby.
The thing is that Danny pushes. He's getting older, and he doesn't want to wait so long that the boys are all grown up when he gives them another brother or sister. But Claude says no, not yet. He's too young, he says, even though Danny reminds him he had kids at Claude's age, and he doesn't want that yet. They fight about it a lot, angry words and frosty silences they try to cover up when the kids aren't around.
Claude's the one to finally say, "This isn't working," and Danny can't watch when Claude moves out.
It changes a lot, but it doesn't change how much Danny wants more kids. It's not something he can explain. He loves his boys with every bit of his heart, but there's still room for more.
That's probably why he invites Sean to stay with them.
*
There should totally be a story where one of the Briere boys totally has a crush on Couturier. Kids just becoming hormonal teenagers + young pro athletes seems like a recipe for crushes.
Sean would just be like, "Caelen's very friendly!"
Then Claude comes over to hang out with the boys one night. He's cool about it then because he doesn't want to embarrass Caelen, but the next day at practice he can't help laughing about it and telling everyone about how Sean is very appealing to the teenage set (while also threatening to hurt anyone who upsets Caelen by talking about it to him). Those are his kids too, even if he doesn't live there anymore, and he's not going to let anyone hurt them.
Sean's a little freaked out once he knows, but Danny is like, "Kids get crushes. Just don't hurt or encourage him."
And probably at some point Claude takes Caelen out for ice cream and gently (or in a roundabout way) tells him it's okay if he likes boys.
*
I want some fic that talks about Danny partying with Carts after his divorce. Because no way was it only ever Sylvie and Claude. There was hooking up between those two things. Possibly a story where Danny starts flirting with this woman who says something like, "Two languages, and one of them is French? Does that mean you're good with your tongue?" So Danny goes home with her and gets her off twice with his mouth.
"Where did you learn to do that?" she gasps.
"I was married," he says, and takes the condom she hands him.
*
They went to Europe so they could work with someone they could influence more than Laviolette into letting them do what they want, which is figure out if they can switch things up and play on the same line.
*
Claude and Danny are each other's exceptions, and their girlfriends are totally okay with this. Except then they're alone together in Europe and things between them get more serious in a way that they weren't supposed to. (IDK. This would be hard to do without treating the women badly.)
*
Danny going to Europe doesn't go over well with his girlfriend:
"You weren't even going to talk to me before you decided? I bet you discussed it with Sylvie."
"Of course I discussed it with Sylvie. She has to take the boys while I'm gone."
(This just goes back to my thing about him breaking up with people.) I would guess her plan was to come back to the US in December, and she might not appreciate him changing plans so they won't see him unless she goes to Germany. (In the story, he would meanwhile think it was supposed to be easier; they're closer so there isn't as much of a time difference for them to work around to talk or Skype.) They both have jobs where they could suddenly end up somewhere else, but there's a difference between him going somewhere because he has to and him choosing to go somewhere. (Especially if he talks to the kids, Sylvie, his agent, and Claude about it before talking to her.)
Crosby, Ovechkin
Can we talk about asexual!Sidney Crosby? Would he end up with a romantic attachment, or just happy with hockey? And by "romantic attachment," I really mean: would he be okay with Ovi hooking up with other people? And would Geno have to explain to Ovi that, no, Sid just isn't into sex?
Ovi thinks Sid is great because they can talk hockey and he can wind Sid up easily. But he doesn't get why, when it comes to sex, there's just nothing.
*
Is there a story where Sidney Crosby is gay and knows that about himself? Because I would read that.
*
Sidney Crosby takes up ballet in the off-season in hopes it will help with his hockey. Here's how my brain works: Sidney should do ballet and meet some ballet guy. But wait, what if there's a teenage girl who loves hockey? And then in my head it's all about Sid mentoring the hockey playing teenager who's stuck taking ballet too.
*
There should totally be Crosby/Ovechkin soulbonding. Someone get on that.
*
Once upon a time, there was a zamboni bunk bed on etsy: Now I want the story where Alexander Ovechkin goes in with the other Russians and has Sid's bed replaced with that.
*
Sidney Crosby has a one-night stand with a girl (What? It happens!), who gets pregnant. Sid has no idea what he's doing, so Geno hires him a nanny: Alex Ovechkin. Ovi teaches the kid to speak Russian and Sid is unbelievably relieved he doesn't have to raise the baby himself, even if he's upset about the way Ovi is turning his life upside down.
*
There should be a story where Ovi is Sid's Russian bride.
*
I've been entertaining myself thinking about de-aged!Ovi racing across the ice to run into Sid and start chattering at him. In Russian.
Sid has to say, "English. I don't speak Russian."
And Ovi makes a face. "That's dumb."
But then he chatters away in English until Sid agrees to play some one-on-one just to get him to stop.
The thing is that Ovi plays as physical a game as ever, but he's an eight-year-old, so it doesn't have the same impact.
*
I have this plot bunny I'll probably never write about Sid meeting some guy over the summer who is coincidentally doing something (plot bunnies mean never having to come up with the details) in Cole Harbor even though he is usually in Pittsburgh (obviously a grad student or something similar) and who knows nothing about hockey. They hang out a bit (Sid's out walking his dog when he meets the guy, so they go for walks together a lot), even though Sid has to keep leaving town for his other obligations. And then he comes back from a trip and the guy tells him, "I never watch the news, but I was flipping channels, and imagine my surprise when there was this guy I've been hanging out with in a suit as part of what's apparently a really big story about hockey negotiations."
Miscellaneous (including a Teen Wolf crossover)
Dreamed Eric Staal took Jeff Skinner to see a house and Jeff didn't realize Eric was looking for a house for them. #subconscioushockey
*
De-aged Carts or Richie? Six-year-old Richie would be a little suspicious, but there's a dog as big as he is to play with. Jeff finds himself talking more, to try to explain things and keep Richie entertained. Alternately, Carts is a quiet child - not unhappy, just solemn - and all Richie wants to do is make him smile.
*
There should be a story where Richie is totally down with Carts being in control.
*
Now I'm imagining a world where Tyler Seguin went pro in lacrosse instead of hockey and is now (now being a couple of years from now) the veteran player mentoring rookie Jackson Whittemore. Someone who is more willing to do the lacrosse research than I am should totally write that.
Kane, Toews
Patrick knows that Johnny's gay. It's cool, whatever. Patrick doesn't judge. He knows Johnny hooks up sometimes too, mostly on the road, mostly dudes who don't know anything about hockey. Patrick hangs out with Sharpy or whoever's around when that happens and lets Johnny have their hotel room. Whatever. Patrick is not the kind of dude who's going to cockblock his best friend. But now Johnny's been going on dates. With one guy. In Chicago. And that shit is just not on. If anyone is going to monopolize Johnny's free time and continue a campaign to make him Captain Less Serious, it's going to be Patrick.
I've been thinking about the plot bunny where Tazer is gay which is fine with Kaner until he starts dating one guy, and the beginning would have to have some examples of Tazer hooking up. One of them would be All Star Weekend, when Kaner walks in on him with a guy, and later is all, "Sorry, man. But, dude, were you banging a Staal? Way to go!"
*
Kaner starts dating a serious, bossy woman, who someone explains to him is basically the girl version of Tazer. And of course Kaner doesn't get why this is a problem. Tazer is his best friend; why wouldn't he want to date a chick who's like him?
*
You know what would be hilarious? Kaner and Tazer (not yet together) going on a tropical vacation and then hating it because it's so hot. (Note: I did use basically this same joke in another story, but other people should feel free to steal it.)
*
There should be porn where Tazer is super bossy in bed and telling Kaner just how hard to fuck him.
*
Once upon a time, there was a zamboni bunk bed on etsy: Patrick Kane buys it and Tazer can't believe how ridiculous he is and then they fuck on the steps.
*
Tazer dates someone (boy or girl, whatever) who is totally spontaneous and carefree, which is great at first, but then it turns out this person is a total flake and can't show up when they're supposed to do things and doesn't seem to think that's a problem. So Tazer breaks up with them, and then he's drunkenly complaining about it to Kaner and says that he wants someone more like Kaner who is spontaneous and carefree sometimes, but also dedicated and serious when it comes to important things. And then he thinks about it later and decides he should just date Kaner.
*
The thing is, Jonny gets it. It feels good when he gets himself off, and he can see how guys would want to go after that every chance they get. It's just that, well, he partied with T.J. in college, and T.J. did the whole older dude initiating Jonny into the world thing and made sure he got laid. Jonny said all the right things about how great it was the next day, but it was mostly a lie. Sure, he came, but it wasn't anything special. He could have just jerked off and it would have been the same.
Jonny is nothing if not dedicated, so he tries again, a few more girls T.J. hooks him up with. He thinks he gets better at it, but it's never anything that great, so after a while he just stops trying. He needs to focus on hockey anyway. Hockey is enough, and if he really wants to get off, he has lotion and his own hand. (Note: I think this was going to be a story where he didn't enjoy sex because he's gay so obviously sex with women doesn't really do it for him.)
Briouxs
I totally want a story where Claude and Danny aren't together, and they just kind of roll with the jokes, and then they hook up, and they're both freaked out about it/what it means, and that's why Claude moves out.
*
I think girl!Claude has the potential to be very interesting. Danny didn't ask Claudette Giroux to move in because he was hitting on her or because he thought his boys needed another mom. He asked her to move in because she fits in well with his family and because he knew she was lonely living by herself.
*
Couturier gets de-aged. Obviously Danny would have to take care of him, and Claude would help, and they would have all these feelings about each other and how they are with the toddler.
*
There should be a story where sometimes when they're at home but Sylvie has the boys, Claude brings people home. And since Danny's room is right next to Claude's, he has to listen to Claude having sex.
*
They talk about kids a lot. Not just the boys, who they talk about all the time - who has to be where when, how to get them to settle down and do their homework without fighting, how they can make sure they eat healthy enough when neither of them cook - but also about how Danny always wanted a bunch of kids but three was the limit for what Sylvie could handle on her own when he was gone, and how Claude thinks about having kids too, not just raising their boys, but what it would be like to have a baby.
The thing is that Danny pushes. He's getting older, and he doesn't want to wait so long that the boys are all grown up when he gives them another brother or sister. But Claude says no, not yet. He's too young, he says, even though Danny reminds him he had kids at Claude's age, and he doesn't want that yet. They fight about it a lot, angry words and frosty silences they try to cover up when the kids aren't around.
Claude's the one to finally say, "This isn't working," and Danny can't watch when Claude moves out.
It changes a lot, but it doesn't change how much Danny wants more kids. It's not something he can explain. He loves his boys with every bit of his heart, but there's still room for more.
That's probably why he invites Sean to stay with them.
*
There should totally be a story where one of the Briere boys totally has a crush on Couturier. Kids just becoming hormonal teenagers + young pro athletes seems like a recipe for crushes.
Sean would just be like, "Caelen's very friendly!"
Then Claude comes over to hang out with the boys one night. He's cool about it then because he doesn't want to embarrass Caelen, but the next day at practice he can't help laughing about it and telling everyone about how Sean is very appealing to the teenage set (while also threatening to hurt anyone who upsets Caelen by talking about it to him). Those are his kids too, even if he doesn't live there anymore, and he's not going to let anyone hurt them.
Sean's a little freaked out once he knows, but Danny is like, "Kids get crushes. Just don't hurt or encourage him."
And probably at some point Claude takes Caelen out for ice cream and gently (or in a roundabout way) tells him it's okay if he likes boys.
*
I want some fic that talks about Danny partying with Carts after his divorce. Because no way was it only ever Sylvie and Claude. There was hooking up between those two things. Possibly a story where Danny starts flirting with this woman who says something like, "Two languages, and one of them is French? Does that mean you're good with your tongue?" So Danny goes home with her and gets her off twice with his mouth.
"Where did you learn to do that?" she gasps.
"I was married," he says, and takes the condom she hands him.
*
They went to Europe so they could work with someone they could influence more than Laviolette into letting them do what they want, which is figure out if they can switch things up and play on the same line.
*
Claude and Danny are each other's exceptions, and their girlfriends are totally okay with this. Except then they're alone together in Europe and things between them get more serious in a way that they weren't supposed to. (IDK. This would be hard to do without treating the women badly.)
*
Danny going to Europe doesn't go over well with his girlfriend:
"You weren't even going to talk to me before you decided? I bet you discussed it with Sylvie."
"Of course I discussed it with Sylvie. She has to take the boys while I'm gone."
(This just goes back to my thing about him breaking up with people.) I would guess her plan was to come back to the US in December, and she might not appreciate him changing plans so they won't see him unless she goes to Germany. (In the story, he would meanwhile think it was supposed to be easier; they're closer so there isn't as much of a time difference for them to work around to talk or Skype.) They both have jobs where they could suddenly end up somewhere else, but there's a difference between him going somewhere because he has to and him choosing to go somewhere. (Especially if he talks to the kids, Sylvie, his agent, and Claude about it before talking to her.)
Crosby, Ovechkin
Can we talk about asexual!Sidney Crosby? Would he end up with a romantic attachment, or just happy with hockey? And by "romantic attachment," I really mean: would he be okay with Ovi hooking up with other people? And would Geno have to explain to Ovi that, no, Sid just isn't into sex?
Ovi thinks Sid is great because they can talk hockey and he can wind Sid up easily. But he doesn't get why, when it comes to sex, there's just nothing.
*
Is there a story where Sidney Crosby is gay and knows that about himself? Because I would read that.
*
Sidney Crosby takes up ballet in the off-season in hopes it will help with his hockey. Here's how my brain works: Sidney should do ballet and meet some ballet guy. But wait, what if there's a teenage girl who loves hockey? And then in my head it's all about Sid mentoring the hockey playing teenager who's stuck taking ballet too.
*
There should totally be Crosby/Ovechkin soulbonding. Someone get on that.
*
Once upon a time, there was a zamboni bunk bed on etsy: Now I want the story where Alexander Ovechkin goes in with the other Russians and has Sid's bed replaced with that.
*
Sidney Crosby has a one-night stand with a girl (What? It happens!), who gets pregnant. Sid has no idea what he's doing, so Geno hires him a nanny: Alex Ovechkin. Ovi teaches the kid to speak Russian and Sid is unbelievably relieved he doesn't have to raise the baby himself, even if he's upset about the way Ovi is turning his life upside down.
*
There should be a story where Ovi is Sid's Russian bride.
*
I've been entertaining myself thinking about de-aged!Ovi racing across the ice to run into Sid and start chattering at him. In Russian.
Sid has to say, "English. I don't speak Russian."
And Ovi makes a face. "That's dumb."
But then he chatters away in English until Sid agrees to play some one-on-one just to get him to stop.
The thing is that Ovi plays as physical a game as ever, but he's an eight-year-old, so it doesn't have the same impact.
*
I have this plot bunny I'll probably never write about Sid meeting some guy over the summer who is coincidentally doing something (plot bunnies mean never having to come up with the details) in Cole Harbor even though he is usually in Pittsburgh (obviously a grad student or something similar) and who knows nothing about hockey. They hang out a bit (Sid's out walking his dog when he meets the guy, so they go for walks together a lot), even though Sid has to keep leaving town for his other obligations. And then he comes back from a trip and the guy tells him, "I never watch the news, but I was flipping channels, and imagine my surprise when there was this guy I've been hanging out with in a suit as part of what's apparently a really big story about hockey negotiations."
Miscellaneous (including a Teen Wolf crossover)
Dreamed Eric Staal took Jeff Skinner to see a house and Jeff didn't realize Eric was looking for a house for them. #subconscioushockey
*
De-aged Carts or Richie? Six-year-old Richie would be a little suspicious, but there's a dog as big as he is to play with. Jeff finds himself talking more, to try to explain things and keep Richie entertained. Alternately, Carts is a quiet child - not unhappy, just solemn - and all Richie wants to do is make him smile.
*
There should be a story where Richie is totally down with Carts being in control.
*
Now I'm imagining a world where Tyler Seguin went pro in lacrosse instead of hockey and is now (now being a couple of years from now) the veteran player mentoring rookie Jackson Whittemore. Someone who is more willing to do the lacrosse research than I am should totally write that.