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rsadelleI'm convinced that Klaus has to get married or at least provide an heir; it's one of the things I can't get around when I read fic where Klaus and Dorian ride off into the sunset together, metaphorically speaking. Most of the time when I have bunnies with wife prospects, they're either flighty idiots Klaus would never marry or quietly compliant. But today I had a different idea.
Klaus looked dispassionately down at the body in the casket and tapped ash off his cigarette.
"Good riddance," he muttered.
"I couldn't agree more."
Klaus turned his head to see just who it was that shared his sentiment. If he'd been anything less than a professional, he would have done a double take. As it was, he paused before speaking.
"You're not grieving much, for a widow."
"No, I suppose not." She twisted the ring on her finger.
"Suppose his death leaves you conveniently rich."
"I brought all the money into this marriage." She gazed down at the body. "His death leaves me conveniently safe in my own home."
"Hmph." Klaus dropped his cigarette into the ashtray conveniently located near the coffin and extended his hand. "Klaus Heinz von dem Eberbach."
"Dani Holcomb Ackart." Dani's grip was firm and her hand was warm and smooth against his.
***
"Who are you and what are you doing?"
The woman looked down at Dorian and then came down from the ladder. "Dani, and I'm redecorating."
"But *why*?"
"Because I won't live in this and Klaus doesn't care as long as it doesn't get in his way and I don't get rid of any family heirlooms."
Dorian stared at her, speechless. He finally recovered himself and asked, "Live here?"
"Of course. After the wedding." She paused and really looked at him. "Oh dear. You must be Lord Gloria. No wonder you're so surprised."
"I-- Yes." Dorian had never found himself so much at a loss for words. "Who, exactly, is it that's getting married?"
"I am." She gestured him into a chair. "To Klaus."
Dorian gaped at her. "You can't be marrying Klaus."
"Of course I can. The date's set, all the arrangements have been made, and his father even approves. All that's left to be done is for me to make this place habitable."
Panicked confusion wasn't doing much for Dorian, so he tried changing tactics. "I can see you're a woman of taste and good sense," he assayed with a winning smile. "I'm sure you'll have a lovely wedding."
"Quite frankly, Lord Gloria, I don't care if you proposition Klaus even after we're married--that's between you and him--but I won't have you disrupting my wedding."
"Now, my dear, I wouldn't dream of doing any such thing."
"I'm sure you're already planning the best way to keep the wedding from happening."
"Of course not."
"Of course you are." Dani folded up the old curtains.
"I wouldn't dream of it." Dorian coughed discreetly. "But, my dear, are you sure that Klaus is the best choice of a husband for you? He does work an awful lot, and I know he won't appreciate whatever you do with the castle."
"I'm absolutely sure. You must understand, Lord Gloria, that I am not a naive child. I'm thirty-five, and I've been married before."
"Divorced?"
"Widowed." She fixed him with a firm look. "This marriage is in both our interests, and I'll thank you not to interfere."
"Is that so? Do tell me, how is this marriage in both your interests?"
"I'm willing to provide Klaus with an heir. He won't hit me and he'll keep anyone else from hurting me either."
"He's hit me," Dorian told her.
"Not surprising." Dani snapped her stacks of curtains straight. "I've only just met you, and I'm tempted to hit you."
***
A wave of silence fell over Klaus' alphabets as Dorian strode through them toward Klaus' desk at the other end of the room.
"You're getting married?" Dorian's nearly-shouted question demanded an answer.
"Yes," Klaus obliged. "You're not invited to the wedding. Don't come."
"You can't get married!"
Klaus gave that the attention it was due, which is to say he ignored it.
"Major," Dorian said as calmly as he could manage, "surely you're not serious about this."
"Eroica," Klaus said just as patiently, "I assure you that I take this very seriously."
Dorian's jaw dropped. "You--" He snapped his mouth shut and tried smiling at Klaus. "You know, Major, I do have permission from Dani to proposition you, marriage or not."
"Hmph. I'll have to talk to her about that." Klaus scowled down at his paperwork and scratched out an order for C's report to be rewritten and dumped it into his finished pile.
"It doesn't bother you?" Dorian was a bit taken aback.
Klaus looked up at him again. "Dani is entitled to her own opinions."
"Honestly, Major, if you cared this little for the details of your marriage, you know I would marry you."
D's report was even worse, and Klaus ran a line through the whole page. "If you could provide me with an heir, I might have considered it."
Dorian could hardly believe what he was hearing. "You could do what I've done and formally adopt one of my nephews."
"My heir has to carry the DNA as well as the name." Klaus approved E's report. At least one of them had learned to write a report to his satisfaction. "My father insists."
Klaus looked dispassionately down at the body in the casket and tapped ash off his cigarette.
"Good riddance," he muttered.
"I couldn't agree more."
Klaus turned his head to see just who it was that shared his sentiment. If he'd been anything less than a professional, he would have done a double take. As it was, he paused before speaking.
"You're not grieving much, for a widow."
"No, I suppose not." She twisted the ring on her finger.
"Suppose his death leaves you conveniently rich."
"I brought all the money into this marriage." She gazed down at the body. "His death leaves me conveniently safe in my own home."
"Hmph." Klaus dropped his cigarette into the ashtray conveniently located near the coffin and extended his hand. "Klaus Heinz von dem Eberbach."
"Dani Holcomb Ackart." Dani's grip was firm and her hand was warm and smooth against his.
***
"Who are you and what are you doing?"
The woman looked down at Dorian and then came down from the ladder. "Dani, and I'm redecorating."
"But *why*?"
"Because I won't live in this and Klaus doesn't care as long as it doesn't get in his way and I don't get rid of any family heirlooms."
Dorian stared at her, speechless. He finally recovered himself and asked, "Live here?"
"Of course. After the wedding." She paused and really looked at him. "Oh dear. You must be Lord Gloria. No wonder you're so surprised."
"I-- Yes." Dorian had never found himself so much at a loss for words. "Who, exactly, is it that's getting married?"
"I am." She gestured him into a chair. "To Klaus."
Dorian gaped at her. "You can't be marrying Klaus."
"Of course I can. The date's set, all the arrangements have been made, and his father even approves. All that's left to be done is for me to make this place habitable."
Panicked confusion wasn't doing much for Dorian, so he tried changing tactics. "I can see you're a woman of taste and good sense," he assayed with a winning smile. "I'm sure you'll have a lovely wedding."
"Quite frankly, Lord Gloria, I don't care if you proposition Klaus even after we're married--that's between you and him--but I won't have you disrupting my wedding."
"Now, my dear, I wouldn't dream of doing any such thing."
"I'm sure you're already planning the best way to keep the wedding from happening."
"Of course not."
"Of course you are." Dani folded up the old curtains.
"I wouldn't dream of it." Dorian coughed discreetly. "But, my dear, are you sure that Klaus is the best choice of a husband for you? He does work an awful lot, and I know he won't appreciate whatever you do with the castle."
"I'm absolutely sure. You must understand, Lord Gloria, that I am not a naive child. I'm thirty-five, and I've been married before."
"Divorced?"
"Widowed." She fixed him with a firm look. "This marriage is in both our interests, and I'll thank you not to interfere."
"Is that so? Do tell me, how is this marriage in both your interests?"
"I'm willing to provide Klaus with an heir. He won't hit me and he'll keep anyone else from hurting me either."
"He's hit me," Dorian told her.
"Not surprising." Dani snapped her stacks of curtains straight. "I've only just met you, and I'm tempted to hit you."
***
A wave of silence fell over Klaus' alphabets as Dorian strode through them toward Klaus' desk at the other end of the room.
"You're getting married?" Dorian's nearly-shouted question demanded an answer.
"Yes," Klaus obliged. "You're not invited to the wedding. Don't come."
"You can't get married!"
Klaus gave that the attention it was due, which is to say he ignored it.
"Major," Dorian said as calmly as he could manage, "surely you're not serious about this."
"Eroica," Klaus said just as patiently, "I assure you that I take this very seriously."
Dorian's jaw dropped. "You--" He snapped his mouth shut and tried smiling at Klaus. "You know, Major, I do have permission from Dani to proposition you, marriage or not."
"Hmph. I'll have to talk to her about that." Klaus scowled down at his paperwork and scratched out an order for C's report to be rewritten and dumped it into his finished pile.
"It doesn't bother you?" Dorian was a bit taken aback.
Klaus looked up at him again. "Dani is entitled to her own opinions."
"Honestly, Major, if you cared this little for the details of your marriage, you know I would marry you."
D's report was even worse, and Klaus ran a line through the whole page. "If you could provide me with an heir, I might have considered it."
Dorian could hardly believe what he was hearing. "You could do what I've done and formally adopt one of my nephews."
"My heir has to carry the DNA as well as the name." Klaus approved E's report. At least one of them had learned to write a report to his satisfaction. "My father insists."