Snippet: Not A Real Thing (Hawaii Five-0/Leverage, gen, FRT, 900 words)

[rsadelle]

My original plot bunny was this: H50/Leverage. Steve and Eliot know each other. Danny has heard of Parker. Chin is not snowed by Sophie. Kono and Hardison geek out together, but she doesn't get too close because she gets there's something between him and Parker. And poor Nate is like, "Hey, this is my team."

I would still very much like someone to write that version, complete with case and humor, but instead of being the person to write it, I wrote nine hundred words of competency porn.

Spoiler Warning: Spoilers for the H50 season one finale, including probably incorrect/disagreed upon by others projections about the future stemming from it. No Leverage spoilers.


"Five-0." Eliot pulled the ice pack away from his jaw so it wouldn't get in the way of his words. "What the hell is Five-0? That's not a real thing."

"Five-0." Hardison switched on the screens. "Special Governor's Task Force. Instated by the last governor, ran into a little trouble, reinstated by the new one. Think law enforcement with no limits. Headed up by Lieutenant Commander Steve McGarrett." Hardison clicked the remote and brought up three photos of McGarrett.

"McGarrett," Eliot said. "He's good."

"You know him?" Nate asked.

"Worked together once." At Hardison's look, Eliot added, "Classified."

Hardison held up his hands and continued with his briefing. "McGarrett agreed to head up the task force to track down the man who killed his father." A series of newspaper clippings flashed up on the screen. "Which he had to do twice, because the first time didn't stick."

Hardison clicked the remote and the newspaper clippings were replaced by photos of a blond man. "His partner, Danny Williams. Cop in New Jersey, eighty-seven solved murder cases. Came to Hawaii to be near his daughter and ex-wife. Not entirely ex anymore." A family photo flashed on the screen. "Still a troubled relationship, but they're raising both their daughter and their three-month-old son."

The next set of photos came up. "Chin Ho Kelly. Worked for HPD for years until he was accused of taking two grand from HPD's evidence lockers. Money was actually stolen by his uncle to buy a black market kidney for his aunt. He was later cleared and spent a short time as a Lieutenant with HPD before returning to Five-0."

Hardison's lips twitched as he brought up the next set of photos: one of a woman in a dress blues, one of the same woman in jeans and a t-shirt, and one of her in a bikini with a surfboard tucked under her arm. "Kono Kalakaua. Spent a few years on the pro surfing circuit before blowing out her knee. Became a cop. Rookie." Hardison let loose a full-blown grin. "This? This is the girl who gave you that bruise?"

"She surprised me," Eliot growled. "And she has a good right cross."

"She weighs a hundred pounds soaking wet."

"She. Surprised. Me."

"Okay, okay," Nate said. "Let's get back on track." He nodded at Hardison.

Hardison pulled up the last set of photos. "Jenna Kaye. CIA analyst, officially on paid administrative leave. Unofficially the most recent member of Five-0. No badge, but McGarrett got her a gun." Hardison pulled up a photo of the five of them together. "They have sources, connections, and they don't care whose way they get in."

"The Red Towel?" Sophie asked.

"Never work," Eliot said. "Not on McGarrett."

"Ooh!" Parker raised her hand. "The Pink Elephant!"

"No," Nate said. "The Second Guard."

"Ohhh," Sophie said. "The Second Guard."

Nate clapped his hands together. "Let's go steal ourselves a task force."

*

"Eliot," McGarrett said.

"Eliot?" Williams asked. "We're on a first name basis with him now?"

McGarrett ignored him. "If you even think about going after anyone on my team, I will shoot you."

"He will, too," Williams said. His tone was annoyed and although he was often talking with his hands in the surveillance footage Hardison had pulled, they were steady now, his gun pointed so he could take out Parker or Sophie as needed. "He has no idea about proper procedure."

"Danny," McGarrett said, "is there even a proper procedure for this?" His tone was annoyed, too, but his lips were twitching with amusement.

"Who are these people?" Kaye asked.

"Eliot's the one I hit at the Hilton," Kalakaua volunteered.

"The blonde is Parker," Williams said. "Suspected in multiple thefts around the globe. Keep your hands where I can see them, sweetheart. Steven, want to share with the class who your friend is?"

"Eliot Spencer," McGarrett said. "We worked together."

"Oh," Williams said, "you worked together. It's all clear now."

"It's classified, Danny."

"Sure, babe, whatever you say. Know who the other three are?"

"Alec Hardison, Sophie Deveraux, and Nate Ford." Kelly strode into the room and right through the cluster of people, seeming not to care about the guns that were out, and put a thumb drive down on the table. After a moment, he made a swiping gesture and images and news articles started spilling across one of the screens hanging from the ceiling. It was a cool effect, but inefficient. "They're going after Jeffrey Foster."

"You're not supposed to know that," Sophie said.

"No, I'm not." Kelly swiped something else onto the screen. "I pulled this from their system. Foster has been duping struggling Hawaiian families into moving to the mainland and then illegally foreclosing their homes out from under them."

McGarrett and Williams lowered their weapons, with Kalakaua and Kaye a beat behind them.

"By the book," Williams said, as Five-0 moved in around their table, gesturing at the rest of them to join them. "You know what 'by the book' means, McGarrett?"

"We don't work by the book," Nate said.

"Of course you don't." Williams sighed and leaned over the table. "But some of us are actual cops."

"The Sunny Winter," Sophie said.

"The Sunny Winter."

Nate smiled, Eliot groaned, and Parker perked up.

"What's the Sunny Winter?"

"It's like the Gray Autumn but with real police officers." Sophie smiled at the collected group. "We should have no problem."