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rsadelleTitle: Oh Baby
Author: Ruth Sadelle Alderson
Pairing: Trey Parker/Matt Stone, Marc Shaiman/Kevin Spacey
Rating: FRT for m/m affection and general weirdness.
Disclaimer: I very much doubt that this could even happen in real life and I certainly don't think it did.
Summary: Matt and Trey deal with some rather odd circumstances.
Author's Note: Inspired by my difficulty remembering which last name goes with which first name.
Matt sat next to his almost-ready-to-pop pregnant lover. He lovingly stroked the distended belly and suddenly squealed. "Ooh! I felt it kick."
"Yeah, tell me about it," Trey grumbled. "It may be all exciting for you, but from where I sit it's no picnic. Being pregnant isn't all it's cracked up to be."
"But, Dude," Matt said lovingly, "that just means our little baby is strong and healthy." Matt leaned over and started to coo over Trey's stomach.
Trey's face softened. "I know that, and I'm happy. I'll be even happier when the thing decides it's time to come out into the world."
"Gosh, you two are just so cute," gushed the vapid blond reporter MTV had sent to interview them. "Have you picked out a name yet?"
"Parker Stone for a girl and Stone Parker for a boy," Trey replied proudly.
The reporter frowned in deep concentration. "But," she began uncertainly, "couldn't Parker work for a boy?"
Trey rolled his eyes. "Yes it could," he said patiently, "but we were thinking of Parker as in Parker Posey."
"Who?"
"Parker Posey." It was Matt's turn to explain things. "She's an actress. Party Girl. The House of Yes. Dazed and Confused," he said increasingly desperately. The blond regarded him blankly. He sighed. "Never mind." He turned to Trey, the goofy look of a man about to be a father firmly planted on his face. "Our child will know all about Parker Posey."
The reporter wasn't quite stupid enough not to recognize an insult. "Well, Trey," she said quickly, "you really do look wonderful. You're practically glowing."
"Thank you. I'm just glad I wasn't showing at the Oscars. I would never have been able to get into that dress."
"But if you looked the way you do now, you could have gone as Annette Bening," Matt pointed out.
The reporter's eyes nearly popped out of her head. "Well, that's it for our interview with Matt Stone and Trey Parker, creators of South Park and fathers-to-be."
Several Weeks Later . . .
A wail split the air.
"Oh, God," Matt groaned. "She's been crying for hours."
"We've tried everything," Trey moaned. "She just won't go to sleep."
"Mind if I give it a shot?" Marc asked.
"Please."
Marc left the room. The exhausted parents listened as Marc crooned to the baby. She slowly quieted to the point where they could make out Marc's words. " . . . and Parker Posey's your godmother. Maybe if you're lucky, you'll have a new little brother or sister soon. I know your daddies want to dress up as Warren Beatty and Annette Bening." Soon Marc's murmurings dropped off and he returned to where Matt and Trey were sitting.
"Marc, how'd you do that?" Trey asked in awe.
Marc shrugged, embarrassed. "I'm good with kids."
Matt and Trey exchanged an "are you pondering what I'm pondering?" look.
"Marc," Matt said persuasively, "we can't do everything on our own. Would you consider being our nanny? Just part time and just until we can figure out what the hell we're doing."
Marc hesitated. "I don't know. I'm not sure Kevin would like it if I were away from home more than I already am."
"You can bring him with you," Matt offered.
"I don't know, Matt," Trey disagreed. "I'm not sure I want him around our daughter. Look at the movies he's been in--Swimming With Sharks, American Beauty, The Usual Suspects--he's not the best role model for Parker."
"He's nothing like his characters in real life," Marc assured him. "He's really very sweet."
"Does that mean you'll do it?" Matt asked eagerly.
"Well, I'll have to ask Kevin, but if he's okay with it, then, yeah, I'll do it."
"Marc," Trey said with a certain sparkle in his eye, "would you mind starting right away? Matt and I haven't had any 'alone time' since the baby was born."
Marc smiled knowingly. "Go ahead. I'll keep an eye on Parker. And I'll call Kevin and see what he thinks."
"Thanks, Marc," Trey called over his shoulder as he tugged at Matt's hand. "Come on Matt," he said more quietly. "I got some new lube I want to try out. And, God, I've missed your cock."
********
The End.
********
Author: Ruth Sadelle Alderson
Pairing: Trey Parker/Matt Stone, Marc Shaiman/Kevin Spacey
Rating: FRT for m/m affection and general weirdness.
Disclaimer: I very much doubt that this could even happen in real life and I certainly don't think it did.
Summary: Matt and Trey deal with some rather odd circumstances.
Author's Note: Inspired by my difficulty remembering which last name goes with which first name.
Matt sat next to his almost-ready-to-pop pregnant lover. He lovingly stroked the distended belly and suddenly squealed. "Ooh! I felt it kick."
"Yeah, tell me about it," Trey grumbled. "It may be all exciting for you, but from where I sit it's no picnic. Being pregnant isn't all it's cracked up to be."
"But, Dude," Matt said lovingly, "that just means our little baby is strong and healthy." Matt leaned over and started to coo over Trey's stomach.
Trey's face softened. "I know that, and I'm happy. I'll be even happier when the thing decides it's time to come out into the world."
"Gosh, you two are just so cute," gushed the vapid blond reporter MTV had sent to interview them. "Have you picked out a name yet?"
"Parker Stone for a girl and Stone Parker for a boy," Trey replied proudly.
The reporter frowned in deep concentration. "But," she began uncertainly, "couldn't Parker work for a boy?"
Trey rolled his eyes. "Yes it could," he said patiently, "but we were thinking of Parker as in Parker Posey."
"Who?"
"Parker Posey." It was Matt's turn to explain things. "She's an actress. Party Girl. The House of Yes. Dazed and Confused," he said increasingly desperately. The blond regarded him blankly. He sighed. "Never mind." He turned to Trey, the goofy look of a man about to be a father firmly planted on his face. "Our child will know all about Parker Posey."
The reporter wasn't quite stupid enough not to recognize an insult. "Well, Trey," she said quickly, "you really do look wonderful. You're practically glowing."
"Thank you. I'm just glad I wasn't showing at the Oscars. I would never have been able to get into that dress."
"But if you looked the way you do now, you could have gone as Annette Bening," Matt pointed out.
The reporter's eyes nearly popped out of her head. "Well, that's it for our interview with Matt Stone and Trey Parker, creators of South Park and fathers-to-be."
Several Weeks Later . . .
A wail split the air.
"Oh, God," Matt groaned. "She's been crying for hours."
"We've tried everything," Trey moaned. "She just won't go to sleep."
"Mind if I give it a shot?" Marc asked.
"Please."
Marc left the room. The exhausted parents listened as Marc crooned to the baby. She slowly quieted to the point where they could make out Marc's words. " . . . and Parker Posey's your godmother. Maybe if you're lucky, you'll have a new little brother or sister soon. I know your daddies want to dress up as Warren Beatty and Annette Bening." Soon Marc's murmurings dropped off and he returned to where Matt and Trey were sitting.
"Marc, how'd you do that?" Trey asked in awe.
Marc shrugged, embarrassed. "I'm good with kids."
Matt and Trey exchanged an "are you pondering what I'm pondering?" look.
"Marc," Matt said persuasively, "we can't do everything on our own. Would you consider being our nanny? Just part time and just until we can figure out what the hell we're doing."
Marc hesitated. "I don't know. I'm not sure Kevin would like it if I were away from home more than I already am."
"You can bring him with you," Matt offered.
"I don't know, Matt," Trey disagreed. "I'm not sure I want him around our daughter. Look at the movies he's been in--Swimming With Sharks, American Beauty, The Usual Suspects--he's not the best role model for Parker."
"He's nothing like his characters in real life," Marc assured him. "He's really very sweet."
"Does that mean you'll do it?" Matt asked eagerly.
"Well, I'll have to ask Kevin, but if he's okay with it, then, yeah, I'll do it."
"Marc," Trey said with a certain sparkle in his eye, "would you mind starting right away? Matt and I haven't had any 'alone time' since the baby was born."
Marc smiled knowingly. "Go ahead. I'll keep an eye on Parker. And I'll call Kevin and see what he thinks."
"Thanks, Marc," Trey called over his shoulder as he tugged at Matt's hand. "Come on Matt," he said more quietly. "I got some new lube I want to try out. And, God, I've missed your cock."
********
The End.
********