Fic: Montana (Buffy, Spike/Xander, 12,250 words, FRAO 1/2)

[rsadelle]

Title: Montana
Author: Ruth Sadelle Alderson
Pairing: Spike/Xander
Rating: FRAO
Disclaimer: The characters and world don't belong to me. No money is being made on this story.
Summary: Xander moves to Montana, and back again.
Author's Note: Many thanks to Molly and Melle for read-through services.


Brian Regan on microwaving Pop-Tarts:

"If you're waking, eating and hauling to work in three seconds, you may want to consider a change of lifestyle. Look at some Montana brochures."


Spike arrived unannounced. Every time he did that, Xander thought about having Willow do an uninvite, but he had no other guy friends, so it was kind of a wash.

Spike took one of Xander's favorite mugs off the drying rack and dumped a bag of blood into it. "What's all this then?"

"They're brochures."

"I can see that. Why do you have a table full of brochures about," Spike picked one of them up, "Montana?"

Xander relaxed his way into an after dinner guy-sprawl. "I've been thinking about it." He waved his hand at the brochures. "Moving to Montana."

Spike gave him a look. The kind of look that said you were crazier than crazy, loonier than loony.

"Montana."

"Yep. Montana."

"And leave all this?"

Xander sighed and collapsed his guy-sprawl down into a serious discussion posture. "I think it's time," he said. "I think I'd like to do something else."

Spike leaned back to take that in. "You ever been to Montana?"

Xander shook his head. "That's why marketers made brochures."

Spike nodded thoughtfully. "Know a bloke in Montana. Could put in a good word for you."

"This isn't the kind of bloke who's going to try to eat me the moment we meet, is it?"

Spike chuckled. "No. Just a bloke. Likes your kind."

"My kind? Geeze, Spike, you make it sound like humans are an inferior species."

"I meant hard workers."

"Oh. Well, thanks, Spike." Xander meant it; he really didn't have any other guy friends, and it was nice that the first person he told about Montana was supportive.

"Never been to Montana," Spike mused.

"Nope. But I've seen it in movies." Xander paused to reflect. "Of course, that was Star Trek."

***

Randy, the guy Spike knew, had an opening and was, in his own words, "mighty pleased to take on anyone Spike recommends."

No one else took it with quite the same equanimity Spike did. Giles vigorously cleaned his glasses. Buffy voiced the shock they all felt: "Montana? What's in Montana?" Willow threw her arms around him and cried. Dawn whined.

"You could go with me," he offered Anya.

"Do you know what the economy is like in Montana?" she asked, after she stopped yelling and before she stopped speaking to him.

"I just need to be somewhere else for a while," he said to Willow when she cornered him alone. "Montana seemed like a good idea. Spike knows this guy who had a job open, and Spike said he won't eat me."

"But Montana," she protested. "That's so far away."

"It's not that bad. It's not like they don't have phones in Montana." Xander hugged her. "You can bring Tara to visit me. I bet they don't have many witches in Montana."

Willow hugged back so tight Xander thought he might have to take her with him. "I know," she said. "I'll miss you. We haven't ever really been apart."

Xander tucked her head under his chin. "I know, Will, but you've got Tara and Buffy." He turned and rested his cheek on the top of her head. "It'll be okay."

They stayed there together for a while. It was nice to hold Willow, nicer still that there wasn't any sexual tension or weirdness. Just him and his best friend.

***

It was surprisingly easy to pull up stake after he'd been through that first declaration of his intentions. He sold most of his stuff, and discovered in the process that he wasn't all that attached to most of it anymore. The few things he still wanted but didn't want to travel with went to Willow to be stored in a tiny corner of the Rosenberg's basement. In the end, he only had two largish suitcases of clothes and personal items and a backpack with CDs and a book Willow gave him for the plane.

His plane left before sunrise, so even Spike was there to see him off. Everyone but Spike cried when it was finally time for his row to board. Everyone but Spike hugged him goodbye. Willow was last, and she threw herself into his arms for the same kind of bone-crushing hug she'd given him when he first told them about Montana.

***

Montana agreed with him. Lots of open space, no traffic, and the only demons around were coworkers and no real danger to him. Except for Sid, who was a bit clumsy, but he was Randy's sister's husband's nephew, or something like that, so they were stuck with him.

His life was simpler in Montana. He and the other ranch hands worked from before sunrise until after sunset, six days a week. Xander worked hard, learning the job, learning the rhythm of the ranch, learning how to be alone except for a herd of cattle or sheep. Learning to live in wide, open, quiet spaces. It didn't leave a lot of time for worry about the possible end of the world or other people's love affairs.

He went to the bar--there was only one--on Saturday nights sometimes. Had a beer, watched the other ranch hands try to pick up the waitresses or the few other women around. Flirted a little, politely turned down the offers that came his way.

He talked to Willow every other week on his day off. She wrote him long letters that came more frequently when she was agitated and were replaced with out-of-sequence phone calls when she was truly upset. Xander tried to write back, but he was in Montana and there was only so much to say about livestock. He could have written down the funny stories about the other ranchers, but he preferred to tell them on the phone, when he could hear her laugh.

"Oh," Tara said when he called one afternoon, "she's not back from class yet. I think she was going to meet Dawn for coffee. I can have her call you when she gets back."

"Yeah, thanks. Wait," Xander said before she could say goodbye. "Do you-- Is it--" He stopped and gathered together what he wanted to say. This was going to be hard enough as it was. "Does it bother you? That Willow talks to me so much?"

"N-n-no, not really." Xander could almost see Tara's earnestness. "There are parts of her that will never belong to anyone but you."

Xander had to swallow against the glow of acceptance before he could speak. "Thank you, Tara," he said softly. "Tell Will I called."

***

He'd been there for a while when he woke up to a pale shape standing over him. He would never admit to how high-pitched the noise he made was.

"Relax, boy. It's just me." Coming at him from the dark, it wasn't particularly comforting.

It was easier when Spike flipped on the light, but vampire in the middle of the night in his tiny room was still pretty scary.

"Spike? What are you doing here?"

Spike shrugged his duster onto the chair in the corner. "Done with Sunnydale." He followed his coat down into the chair and threw his feet up on the end of Xander's bed.

Xander glanced at the clock and pushed himself up into a seated position. "That doesn't exactly explain why you're here."

"Thought I'd stop by. See how things are working out here."

Xander smacked the alarm's off button before it could sound. "They're fine." He climbed out of bed. "I think there's blood in the bunkhouse fridge if you're hungry."

"Already had some." Spike twisted to watch Xander get dressed. "It's not even dawn."

"Yes, I know that," Xander said patiently. "This is a ranch. We go to work at dawn and eat before that." He sat on the edge of the bed and pulled on his boots. He went from his room down to the bathroom where he spent an extra ten seconds staring at himself in the mirror and wondering if he could steal a couple of minutes to call Willow.

When he got back to his room, Spike was stretched out on his bed. Xander nudged one foot. "Keep your boots off my sheets." He scooped up his hat.

"Slayer threw me out," Spike offered. "Bit's not talking to me."

Xander paused before settling his hat onto his head. "That right."

Spike refused to meet his eyes. "Girl's growing up. Doesn't want the same things she did when she was younger."

Xander nodded without saying anything. When it looked like Spike was done, he turned off the light and left for breakfast.

By the time Xander got back in the evening, Spike had moved into the main house, and they didn't see each other much after that.

***

Eventually Willow and Tara arranged to visit. Buffy was going to cover Hellmouthy events and Dawn during the college's spring break; in exchange Willow and Tara had to cover Dawn all during the junior high's spring break.

Xander took a couple of extra days off and reserved the guest cottage for the girls to stay in. He took one of the pickups into Great Falls to pick them up at the airport.

After her first breathless hug, Willow chattered on at him about how Buffy and Dawn were doing, how much he looked like a cowboy, how different Montana's landscape was. Tara looked on fondly.

Xander woke up at his usual early time even though he had the day off. He made two cups of coffee and took them out to where Willow was sitting on the steps of the guest cottage. She smiled her thanks and leaned against him when he sat next to her.

"What's it really like in Sunnydale?" he asked.

Willow sighed. "It's hard," she admitted. "With Spike gone, Buffy's our only real fighter. That's hard on her. She has less time to deal with Dawn, and Dawn's going through a tough time. She barely talks to any of us, and she doesn't talk about Spike at all."

"What happened?" Xander asked. "That made Spike leave."

Willow put her head down on his shoulder. "I don't know. Neither one of them will talk about it."

"Spike was here."

Willow twisted to look up at him. "He was?"

Xander nodded. "Yeah, for a while. He left when he heard you were coming to visit."

Willow's arms tightened around him briefly. "I miss you."

Xander tipped his head down and kissed the top of her head. "I miss you too." They watched the sky lighten in silence for a while. Just before the sun came up, Xander said, "I miss Jesse."

Willow froze.

"It's easier to think about him here."

"I saw his mom a couple of weeks ago." Willow started to cry. "It was horrible."

Xander gathered her close. "I know. I called her before I moved."

"We should have done something," Willow said through her tears. "We didn't think about her."

"No," Xander agreed, through the beginnings of his own tears. "We didn't."

When the sun was fully up, Tara came out to join them. She moved Willow's coffee cup and wrapped her arms around Willow from the other side. Xander extended his reach to include her in his hug.

***

He went to Sunnydale during Dawn's summer break. It gave everyone else a break and let him see just how much she'd changed.

"I kissed him," Dawn said one afternoon when they were sipping lemonade in the shade. "Spike. I kissed Spike."

"That right." Xander wasn't entirely surprised.

"Yeah." Dawn pulled her knees up and wrapped her arms around them. "But all he cares about is Buffy."

Xander poured her more lemonade and they sat in silence for a while.

***

Spike was back in the main house when Xander got back to Montana. One of the other ranch hands said he'd been there even before Xander left.

Xander made a point to go out and stand with Spike on the porch one evening.

"You broke her heart," Xander said after Spike lit his cigarette.

"Slayer hasn't got a heart."

"Not Buffy. Dawn."

"Yeah, well." Spike puffed away. "Never really get over your first heartbreak."

Xander thought about himself and Willow, himself and Cordy, Buffy and Angel. "Maybe not," he agreed. "But it doesn't have to be the end of everything. Willow and I are still friends."

Spike looked at him. "Witch broke your heart?"

"I broke hers."

He'd startled Spike into speechlessness. Before he could recover, Xander tipped his hat and walked away.

***

"I'm leaving," Spike told him a couple of months later. He passed over a slip of paper with an address and phone number on it. "Hoodoo doctor I know, can usually find me to pass on a message."

Xander nodded. "Thanks."

***

After two years on the ranch, two years of silence and hard work, two years of calls and letters to and from Willow, Xander decided it was time to move back to Sunnydale.

The girls threw him a homecoming dinner and moved him into the Summers basement. He took two days to relax and readjust before it became too many people.

He called up the construction company he'd worked for before Montana. As soon as his employment was assured, he went out and got himself a small apartment in a quiet complex. The girls fretted, but they helped him set up the new place with the bed from Buffy's basement and his stuff from Willow's parents' basement.

He sent a note to Spike by way of the hoodoo doctor:

I'm back in Sunnydale. It was time. Feel free to drop by if you're ever in the area.

He put his new address at the bottom of the piece of paper.

He met people in Sunnydale, and the girls tried once or twice to set him up, but he found his life was much easier without any entanglements. He worked hard, patrolled with the ever-expanding group of Scoobies, kept an eye on Dawn's friends and boyfriends. Woke up early even on the weekends.

***

"You're different," Willow said when she found him lounging on the Summers' porch on a Sunday morning.

He took her hand. "So are you."

"I know." She nudged him with her elbow. "Are you happy?"

Xander twined their arms together. "Yeah," he said. "I've got you girls, evil's being stopped. What else do I need?"

"Someone to keep you warm at night?" Willow suggested.

"Nah. Not necessary. I lived in Montana. I can deal with the cold." He squeezed her hand. "I promise I'm okay."

"All right." There was still doubt in Willow's eyes, but she let the subject drop. "Come on." She stood and pulled him up. "Let's go get donuts and take them to Jesse's mom."

They settled into a semi-routine after that, where they occasionally picked up breakfast or dinner and went to spend time with Jesse's mom.

***

When Dawn graduated from high school, Xander snagged an extra invitation and photo from the stacks in the Summers kitchen, stuck a post-it on it, and sent it to Spike. He knew Spike would want to know.

Spike joined him halfway through his walk home from the post-ceremony party. Xander prided himself on not jumping.

"Were you there for the ceremony?"

"Yeah. Was nice." Spike's lighter flared. "What's she gonna do now?"

"She's going to UC Sunnydale in the fall. We talked about her leaving home, but there's been too much upheaval in her life. She wanted to stay close to home."

"Bit got a boyfriend?"

"Yeah. She's had a couple of them off and on. She's been with Josh a couple of months now."

"He a nice bloke?"

"No one's good enough for her, but he's nice enough."

"Good." Spike dropped his cigarette on the walkway in front of Xander's apartment and ground it out with his heel.

"Come in," Xander said, when he'd gotten the door unlocked. "Do you have a place to stay?"

"Not yet. Figured I'd find an empty crypt."

"You can stay here," Xander offered. "The blinds will keep the sun out in the morning."

"Yeah, all right." Spike looked around Xander's place. "Going for the minimalist look?"

Xander looked around, seeing it from Spike's perspective. "Yeah, I guess," he said. "I got used to not having much on the ranch." He went around the apartment and made sure all the blinds were tightly closed.

***

"Scooby meeting tonight," Xander said the next evening. He met Spike's gaze directly. "Wanna come?"

Spike stopped with his mug of blood halfway to his mouth. He sat frozen like that for a long time. "Dunno they'd like that," he said, finally setting his mug down on the table.

"It's been a long time." Xander sat down across from him. "They might be ready to see you again."

"Dunno I'm ready to see them."

"Fair enough." Xander got up from the table and tended to his own sustenance requirements.

***

Spike went with him to the Scooby meeting.

Everyone looked up when the bell over the door of the shop rang, but only those who'd been there before Spike left stopped talking.

"...never even-- What?" Josh stopped talking when he realized Dawn wasn't paying attention to him anymore.

Dawn mouthed, "Spike," and then she said it out loud. And again. And then she threw herself into Spike's arms.

"Hey, Bit," Spike said roughly.

Xander stepped around them to meet Buffy's indignation.

"What is he doing here?"

"I invited him to Dawn's graduation."

Buffy's attention shifted to somewhere behind Xander. "He didn't have to come."

"He cares about Dawn too."

"Wouldn't've missed it for the world," Spike put in.

Dawn dragged him around the room to introduce him to the new people and exchange uncertain greetings with the old ones.

***

The only thing assured about Spike's return to Sunnydale was his place on Xander's couch. Everything else was caught between Dawn's joy that Spike wasn't dust and Buffy's anger that he had come back.

"I understand this isn't easy for you," Xander said after a month of Spike's jittery presence in his place, "but you're driving me crazy. Can't you find something to do other than wander around my apartment?"

"Got nothing else to do. Spent a hundred years taking care of Dru, few more taking care of the Bit. Not much left for me is there." It wasn't a question.

"Don't go trying to kill yourself," Xander warned. "It didn't work out the last time, and Dawn won't take it well."

"Not gonna off my myself," Spike grumbled.

"Good," Xander said mildly. "There are people who would miss you."

***

"What's this then?" Spike asked when Willow and Tara showed up at sundown on Saturday.

"We're having dinner," Xander answered. "Come with us."

"I don't need to eat."

"Come on," Xander said. "There's someone we want you to meet."

"Not someone who's gonna stake me, is it?"

"Of course not," Willow said. "We're going to be late if we don't leave now."

Spike shrugged on his duster and went with them.

"Come in," Jesse's mom invited when they got there.

"Sue, this is Spike," Willow said.

And after a pause while Spike and Sue shook hands, she said, "He's a vampire."

Sue paled and took a step back. "Oh."

"Don't worry," Xander assured her, "he can't hurt you."

"Oh, well." Sue managed a tremulous smile. "Come and sit down." She gestured them all into the dining room where the table was already set. Willow immediately embarked on a string of chatter about her schoolwork that distracted Sue and let them all settle in for dinner.

Xander helped Willow keep up a steady conversation about school and work and high school all through dinner. By the time they got to dessert, Sue was even smiling at Spike.

"Would you like some tea?" she offered them.

"Now you sit down, love," Spike said, patting her shoulder and getting up himself. "I'll get it."

Xander and Willow shared triumphant smiles.

***

"So who is she?" Spike asked on the way home, after he'd lit his cigarette.

"Before it was us and Buffy," Xander explained, "it was us and Jesse."

"What happened?" Spike asked when the explanation stopped there. "Slayer scare him off?"

"Darla turned him," Willow said.

"And the Slayer staked him," Spike surmised.

"No," Xander said. "I did."

Spike missed half a step and stumbled a little. "That why I've never heard about him?"

"Yeah." Xander stepped up to the girls and took Willow's hand, the one that wasn't already being held by Tara. "I'll show you pictures when we get home."

Xander kept his word; when they got home, he dug out a box of pictures and spread them out on the table for Spike's perusal.

Spike picked through them, stopping once or twice. He eventually stacked them all together, except for one.

Xander looked over his shoulder. The three of them at a table with a white cloth tablecloth and real silver, Willow in the middle, dressed up and smiling proudly at the camera. "Willow's twelfth birthday. Her parents took us out to a fancy restaurant to practice being adults before her bat mitzvah." He reached over Spike's shoulder to brush his fingers over the edge of the picture. "It was fun."

"Looks fun." Spike glanced up at him, almost a question. Then he stood up and slipped the picture under the edge of a magnet.

Xander let out a breath he hadn't known he was holding and gathered the rest of the pictures back into their box.

Despite the fact that he knew he got them all, others showed up around the apartment over the next couple of weeks. Some of them were like the first, tucked under a magnet or into the corner of the molding on a cabinet. Others were in frames on the wall, on the bookshelves that held mostly CDs and DVDs, on the coffee table.

He didn't say anything to Spike, but he appreciated it. Eight and a half years was a long time to keep Jesse locked up inside himself.

***

He wasn't surprised to find Spike sprawled across the steps when he took pizza to Sue one evening. "No garlic," he offered, stepping over Spike to give Sue a one-armed hug. He nudged Spike's shoulder with his knee. "Come on. Have dinner with us."

He wasn't surprised, either, to come home one evening to find Spike packing up his few belongings, and a few of Xander's as well.

"I'm moving in with Sue," he said. "She's got an extra room." He seemed to be waiting for something.

"Don't steal my stereo," Xander cracked lamely.

Spike still waited.

Xander dropped his forced smile and nodded. "Yeah," he said, and Spike moved in with Sue.

***

Spike waved Xander over into the garden at the side of the house on one visit. "Gonna help?" he asked.

Spike had taken over doing most of the household chores Xander had been doing for Sue since he'd gotten back from Montana.

Xander knelt down two rows over from Spike. "What are we doing?"

Spike gave him that look that showed he was clearly wondering how Xander survived to adulthood. "Weeding. Don't pull up the vegetables."

They weeded in silence for a while.

"Where's Sue?" Xander finally asked.

Spike grinned at him. "On a date."

Xander sat back on his heels. "Really?"

"Yeah." Spike stopped weeding. "Nice bloke. Got the feeling he's been waiting a long time for her to be ready."

"Huh."

They were still weeding when Sue's date walked her up the steps.

"Wash up and come sit with us," she invited. "I'll get some lemonade."

After they washed their hands under the hose, they joined Sue and her date on the porch. She introduced them to Walter and explained who they were.

"Xander was friends with Jesse, and then he became friends with Spike." She smiled at them. "They're just the age Jesse would have been."

Xander spaced out for a minute after that and had to guess to fill in the gaps in the conversation.

***

He brought it up with Willow later.

"We're going to be older than Spike."

Willow blinked at him. "He's a vampire."

"I know that, Will. I mean, we're the same age he was before he became a vampire."

She considered that. "Huh. We're going to be older than Spike."

"Yeah." Xander tapped his fingers against the table. "It's weird."

"It is." Willow peered at him. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah," he said. "It's just. Weird, you know."

She patted his hand. "I know."

He kept thinking about it. Spike was going to be younger than him. Eventually, Spike was going to be younger than Dawn, and that was even weirder.

"What?" Spike asked when he caught Xander looking at him.

"Nothing," Xander said. "Really."

***

Xander had taken to visiting Sue without Willow, but he didn't often get to sit with her alone. So he was surprised when she invited him over one evening and Spike wasn't around. She sat him down and brought him a cup of hot chocolate. Then she showed him the ring on her finger.

"Walter asked me to marry him."

Xander stared at the ring for too long before his brain caught up with what she was saying. He grinned at her and scooped her up into a giant hug.

"Congratulations!" He kissed her cheek. "That's great."

She smiled back at him. "Yes." She pushed him back into his chair and twisted the ring around her finger. "I asked Spike to walk me down the aisle." She put a hand on his arm. "I don't want you to be hurt that I didn't ask you. I love you, Xander, but Spike's--"

Xander put his hand over hers and gave it a little squeeze. "No, I know. It's okay."

***

He went with Spike to rent the tux. He wasn't sure why, exactly--Spike had better fashion sense than he did--but he went along and played the best friend. Somewhere around the fifteenth vest Spike tried on, he realized it wasn't just playing. Spike was his best male friend, and since he hadn't seen anyone else hanging around Spike, he was probably Spike's.

***

Xander took Spike home with him after the wedding. It wasn't a last-minute decision; Spike had already planned to leave Sue and Walter alone in the house for at least a couple of days.

Xander dropped his tie onto the table next to Spike's. "Nice wedding."

"It was." Spike fidgeted with the ties.

Xander dug the good Scotch out of the back of a cabinet and poured two glasses.

"There comes a time," he said when they were both seated with drinks, "when you have to stop living for other people."

Spike snorted. "Right. Like you lot can take care of yourselves."

"We're all adults," Xander said. "Dawn's in college, Spike. Buffy's the oldest Slayer in recorded history. Sue's married. Willow and Tara are talking about kids. We're all adults," he said again. "We're making our own choices. We don't need you to take care of us."

Spike gulped down his Scotch and got up to get the bottle. "You lot take care of each other all the time. Take care of this whole damn town."

"Yeah," Xander said. "We take care of each other. Because we care about each other. We take care of Sunnydale because it's the right thing to do. We don't do it because we don't know how to do anything else."

"This where you tell me it's time to get myself a hobby?" Spike gulped down more of Xander's very expensive Scotch.

"I'm sure Willow has an extra pair of knitting needles," Xander said almost automatically. "You need to figure out what you want to do. Not what you think you need to do to take care of us."

"What? Making scarves for the witches' kids?"

"They're going to have Willow and Tara for parents. They won't need you to take care of them."

Spike scowled at him. "They'll need babysitters."

"Spike!" Xander yelled in his exasperation. He took a deep breath. "Spike," he said more reasonably, "we're all adults. We're going to be older than you were when you were turned pretty soon. It's time for you to grow up too."

Spike gulped down another glass of Scotch. "What am I supposed to do, then? Get a job building houses with you?"

"We mostly do commercial space."

"Right. That makes all the difference."

Xander got up and switched the good Scotch--now half empty--for the cheaper Scotch.

"Look, Spike, I don't know what you should do. I just know that you can't go on like this. It's your turn to have your own life."

***

Life went on after Spike drunk himself to sleep. Xander went to work every day and got a raise. Willow and Tara started to seriously look into their options for having a child. Spike slept at Sue's, on Xander's couch, in his crypt, seemingly at random. The Scoobies averted several disasters, big and small. Dawn broke up with Josh--which didn't keep him from continuing to be a part of the Scooby gang--in favor of Seth, who bleached his hair, wore all black, and speculatively drawled, "Aren't you a good-looking one," when he met Spike.

Spike showed up drunk on Xander's doorstep just before sunrise. Xander made sure all the blinds were closed before he put Spike to bed on the couch.

***

Xander called an emergency Scooby mini-meeting--Willow and Tara, Buffy, Giles.

"At what point," Willow asked when they'd gone around and around and were no closer to any answers, "does it get so bad that we call Angel?"

No one wanted to make the call, and in the end they left Giles to his tea and books and adjourned to Xander's. When they got there, it was cleaner than it had been since he moved in and there was dinner on the stove.

"I would've made more if I'd known you were bringing company home," Spike sulked.

"Geeze, Spike. Co-dependent much?" Trust Buffy to say what the rest of them were thinking.

Spike's sulk turned into a full-blown scowl. "Fuck off, Slayer. Got nothing to do with you."

"It does have something to do with me," Xander said, heading off a Spike-Buffy grudge match that could end any chance he had of recovering his security deposit. "I don't need you to take care of me."

Spike's scowl dissolved momentarily into something wounded and painful. "Right," he said, bravado firmly in place. "Get the message. No one wants me around."

"I want you!" Xander decided to ignore the weirdness of how that came out. "Dawn wants--"

"Bit's got herself one who'll kiss her back."

Buffy was suddenly very much in Spike's face. "What are you talking about? If you touched Dawn--"

"She kissed me." Spike growled back at her. "Wasn't too happy with me when I said no."

"God, Spike. She's just a kid."

"She was seventeen, Slayer. How old were you when you went panting after Angel?"

Buffy pushed him back until he was up against the fridge. "That has nothing to do with this!"

Xander tugged Buffy back. "The object here is to keep Spike from filling my vacuum cleaner." He let go of Buffy when it seemed like she wasn't going for a stake just at the moment. "I don't want to have to take your ashes to Dawn."

Willow pushed a card into Spike's hand. "I have evening appointments available. If you're not comfortable talking to me, I can recommend someone else." She half-smiled. "I'm not the only therapist specializing in the supernatural in Sunnydale."

Spike stared at the card. "You think I need therapy."

Willow's resolve face made an appearance. "The fact that Xander, who knows you better than the rest of us these days, thinks there's a possibility you'll end up dust, either from self-inflicted wounds or baiting other people into doing it for you, worries me."

"I'm not crazy."

"And I couldn't help you if you were," Willow said cheerfully. "Crazy's for psychiatrists to deal with."

"Think you're the one who needs a shrink," Spike growled. He swung his duster on over his shoulders, shoved past them, and slammed the door behind himself.

"That went well."

Xander ignored Buffy and talked to Willow instead. "Will therapy really do him any good?"

Willow nodded. "I think so. It's not like he's a sociopath. Even when he was evil, he still cared about other people."

Xander waved them toward the kitchen while he considered that. "I don't know if he can actually cook, but you're welcome to some of it."

All three of the girls declined and left Xander alone to discover that Spike actually could cook.

***

"Hey," Xander said to Spike a couple of weeks later after a Scooby meeting dissolved without even a patrol, "wanna go pick up girls at The Bronze?"

Spike grinned at him. "I'm in."

Standing together at the bar brought a couple of girls to them. Xander lost track of Spike when he took the girl who'd successfully hit on him out onto the dance floor. They caught up to each other back at the bar.

"What happened?" Xander asked. "She was into you."

Spike shrugged. "I don't really have anywhere to take her."

"The crypt not a turn-on for the ladies?"

Spike grunted. "What about your bird?"

"I think she was actually younger than Dawn."

Spike chuckled. "What say I kick your ass at pool?"

Xander grabbed his beer. "Might as well."

They got halfway through a game before Spike started flicking his lighter.

"Ten in the corner. Do we need to take a break so you can smoke or is that just to distract me?"

Spike looked down at his hand as if he hadn't even realized what he was doing. "I quit smoking."

Xander looked up from where he was lining up his shot. "Isn't lung damage pretty much irrelevant at this point?"

Spike shrugged. "I've been seeing Red. Professional-like."

Xander's shot went wild. Vampires in therapy. Would wonders never cease?

"She says it's an inappropriate coping mechanism. Three in the corner." Spike, of course, had no problem making his shot while carrying on a conversation. "Seven in the side."

They played in silence for a while until Spike started fidgeting again. When Xander glared at him across the table, he stopped and looked almost guilty.

"I never realized how much time I spent smoking."

Xander nodded. "Did she make you make a list?"

Spike's eyebrows almost jumped off his face. "Of all the ways it controlled me? Yeah. One in the corner." He lined up his shot. "She got you in therapy too?"

"Not really. I let her practice some things on me. She got me to go to Al-Anon." Xander considered his beer and then set it down again.

"Yeah? That help?"

"Sometimes. Sometimes I've just helped save the world, so what does it matter that my parents are alcoholics?"

Spike didn't have anything to say to that, and they finished their game with no more conversation beyond what the rules required.

Part 2