In Which I Am Not (Yet?) A Buddhist

[rsadelle]

A friend (ex-friend? He seems to have dropped out of their tai chi circle.) of my mom's, J, has a pizza party every Christmas Eve. He makes a bunch of crust and sauce, and has bowls full of toppings. You tell him what you want on a pizza, and he'll make it for you. His wife, C, makes a huge batch of Christmas cookies with a Jewish friend of hers, and so there are lots of dessert options too.

Last year, when I said I was a vegetarian and so wanted something with no meat and no shrimp, I explained why I became a vegetarian: I stopped eating meat because I didn't eat it very often and I felt physically unwell when I did, so instead of eating it more often (which probably also would have taken care of that as my body adjusted to it), I stopped eating it altogether. At first, I was still eating fish, but then I thought about it and realized that if I feel guilty when I accidentally kill a bug, then I certainly can't continue to eat fish.

C asked me, "Are you a Buddhist?"

I've been thinking about that question ever since. When I was in college, a member of Di-Phi gave a speech about Sylvia Boorstein's That's Funny, You Don't Look Buddhist: On Being a Faithful Jew and a Passionate Buddhist, and I've been remembering that, too. So in August, I checked it out from the library.

There were some really nice things in the book, and three that have stuck in my head: Her chapter on the holocaust was so moving it left me crying at the lunch table. She talks about getting permission to pray, and realizing she doesn't have to pray strictly inside the liturgy, which had me mentally singing prayers for days. She talks about an experience sitting behind some chatty older women in synagogue, and turning to a loving practice instead of annoyance; I find myself repeating "I love you, eighty-year-old women" in my head to remind myself to love humanity in all its forms.

What I hoped to find but didn't is the answer to my biggest question about being Buddhist and Jewish: How do you reconcile Buddhism's First Noble Truth, that life is inherently suffering, with Judaism's absolute joy in the experience of living?

I'm not sure if the answer is that they're not going to reconcile for me or if the answer is that I don't know enough about Buddhism.

Comments

[janelander.livejournal.com]

That book sounds very interesting--I'll have to check it out sometime.

I think you're probably right in seeing a disconnect between the fundamental worldview of Buddhism and Judaism. On the other hand, when I teach Buddhism, one of the things I point out is that the teaching that life is dukkha is meant to illustrate not so much that physical or mental suffering make up all of life (although those types of suffering are certainly acknowledged) as to point out the fundamental nature of impermanence. Everything is constantly changing, and yet human beings try to grasp or cling to things, make them permanent when that is impossible, and that in fact is what causes suffering.

So if you learn meditation, and learn to live in the moment, you overcome the chain of causation that causes suffering. And that is the goal of the 4 noble truths: to end suffering. So if you're living the way you're supposed to be, in Buddhism--meditatively, in the moment, appreciating that the present is what is important--I think *that* part might be compatible with the Jewish view of life.

[allegram.livejournal.com]

Now my knowledge of Buddhism is largely gleaned from my Dad and random books and my knowledge of Judaism is largely gleaned from, well, you and random books, so I may just be making shit up here (strike that, definitely making it up) but it seems to be that one's attitude towards suffering makes a big difference. Like the Catholic ethos is sort of to revel in the suffering (think hair shirts and flagellation) but it seems to me that buddhists want to rise above the suffering. And for me anyways that sort of thing is important in finding joy, not letting the bad or imperfect bring you down but rising above it to find the good in a task or a moment. And in many ways having felt the sorrow or the pain of a situation better allows you to experience the joy a situation can bring as long as you can free yourself from fear and worry and allow yourself the full scope of that good. (Like after having failed at something or having had it go badly, how much you appreciate it when everything goes well, as long as you can rid yourself of the fear that it can/will fail again. This is my theory on why most people remember their first loves so wistfully. Because although those loves are often shallower they were unmarred by fear of loss (because deep down everybody believes that their first love will be forever even when they know better). Later people know about all the ways it can go wrong, but most people instead of allowing that to make what they have sweeter, just worry about loosing it. And of course that fear eats away at all the good, which encourages the fear, nasty downward spiral. But I know some couples, and to me they seem the happiest, healthiest, best couples I know, and they seem fearless in that regard, and those that I've talked to have very different tones about the whole first love thing.)

Wow that got longer and much more digressive than I meant it to be... Anyways, babelly time done, I have to shower and get going, free breakfast at the outlaws (mmmmm potatoes!).

Oh, and I knew you were turning into a Buddhist! Just please don't shave your head! Though if you do, my dad still has his pimp hat, Grandpa bought it for the express purpose of covering Buddhist baldness.

[rsadelle]

See, that's what I mean about thinking I don't know enough about Buddhism. On the one hand, when I think of Buddhism, I think of the monastic, ascetic tradition. On the other hand, "everyday" Buddhism seems to be about living mindfully, and fully living in the present moment, which I think does complement the Jewish tradition of finding joy in life.

You also reminded me of the story about King Solomon (apparently also attributed to varying unnamed historical figures all over the place; I know it as a Solomon story from the Jewish tradition) and the ring with "this too shall pass" inscribed on it. (The version I remember is here; the version in Wikipedia is somewhat different.)

I can totally accept the other three noble truths; it's just the first one I have an issue with. I can accept that there is suffering, but not that the nature of all life is suffering.

I read someone's comment on a Slashdot story once, in which they were talking about how Buddhism essentially takes a scientific view of religion - the particular text she/he/it was quoting says that each person should investigate Buddhism for themselves, and then they will see the truth of it. I've been thinking recently about how much I'm working towards living a non-harming life. (People often talk about non-violence, and I recently read something that suggested the same idea could be expressed as non-violation. For myself, I like non-harming.) The basis for wanting to be non-harming is, I think, that my meditation and yoga practices have brought me into that understanding of every being and everything being part of the divine.

[rsadelle]

I'm not sure the Buddhist way is to focus on the good. I think the Buddhist way is to focus on the present moment, and be mindful that nothing is permanent. Of course, focusing on the good in a situation certainly appeals to me!

Like I said in reply to janelander's comment above, I read something once where someone was quoting a Buddhist text that said one should investigate the teachings of Buddhism, and then they would know the truth of them. I feel like I'm coming to some of those same ideas without any deliberate work toward those specific ideas. (Although, of course, the teachings my yoga teacher brings to class are certainly an influence in that direction.) I actually have thought briefly - and only briefly - about shaving my head, especially on those days when my hair is getting in my way. But I would never do it in the winter!

[allegram.livejournal.com]

I wasn't trying to suggest that Buddhists are looking for the good, just that, for me, letting go of some things and focusing on the moment at hand (and not shady possible futures) is important for finding joy. So basically that's how I would reconcile the two, letting go as a means of achieving the joy in life.

Even when I'm mad at my hair I never want to shave it, I have a lumpy head!

[allegram.livejournal.com]

Did I mention I have only a superficial understanding of both of these religions? =P