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After this post, I'm no longer going to check or crosspost to LJ. I'll leave my LJ up for now, but may change my mind about that later. You can still find me on Dreamwidth, Tumblr, Twitter, and AO3: [personal profile] rsadelle, [ profile] rsadelle, [ profile] rsadelle, [ profile] rsadelle.
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I'm going through a periodic recalibration of how I spend my time and energy. I find this happens every few years when I look at what's important to me and how I'm actually spending my time and try to realign my life so those match better. Some things that contributed to that this time around:

[personal profile] lakeeffectgirl went on a Twitter hiatus, and then I discovered how much of my Twitter interaction was with her. Because of that, I started reading Twitter only when I was at home. One of my rules for myself is that there are Twitter accounts I only read when I'm at work. Those are the accounts that tweeted and retweeted a lot of political things. I found that I was calmer and less anxious when I wasn't reading those all the time. Now I'm checking Twitter only once a day, and I've turned off retweets on or muted a few more people so it's manageable. Me constantly feeling anxious and upset wasn't doing me or the world any good.

I listened to this interview with Nancy Colier (a transcript is also available at the link). She's the author of a book called The Power of Off: The Mindful Way to Stay Sane in a Virtual World, which my library has so I might read it at some point. What I really liked about her perspective was that it isn't "no technology ever!" but rather to be mindful about how we're using technology and how that affects us. That framing helped me to notice how I felt different when I wasn't reading Twitter all the time, and to think about how much time I really want to spend reading things I don't really care about that much on the internet versus doing other things I want to do.

A side effect is that when I'm not reading Twitter all the time and therefore (a) not hanging around to see what people might tweet and (b) less anxious, then I'm more likely to turn off my computer earlier and either go to bed early or go read a book and then better notice that I really am tired and ready to go to bed on time (or early).

I've been trying to remind myself on a semi-regular basis that I want to feel light, giddy, deeply present, and connection. Sometimes that's helping me put whatever's happening or what I'm feeling into perspective.

Some things I'm doing instead of compulsively reading about the state of the world:

Reading books. I belong to two book clubs now, both of which meet once a month. I'm trying to read about a book a week which means I read the two book club books and then two whatever I want to read books each month.

Writing. I had a really hard time writing for the first month or so after the election. There didn't seem to be any point. Writing fic seemed so frivolous. Plus, I had a hard time doing much of anything that wasn't trying to absorb reality. I saw a few things about the importance of making art in dark times, but none of them really stuck until I read this piece from Sophia McDougall. This was the thing that let me find inspiration: "But if they hadn’t been there? I thought, looking at my friend. Who was fierce and bright-eyed and smiling. Those useless satirists and artists and musicians pouring their spirits into their art and watching it land on the floor of history like that dropped custard pie? What if there was nothing to look back on in those times but a culture in militaristic lockstep, or perhaps worse, slumped in dead-eyed indifference?" There are a lot of things I can't do or change about the world, but I can write stories for other people to enjoy. I can do my part to make sure that the world isn't all despair. And I can do this easily because I find writing easy. "It's not enough. It's not enough," McDougall says. It isn't, and I'm not sure how much I believe art can really change the world for the better anymore, but the alternative seems even worse. And then there's this: when I'm having a rough time and the world seems bleak, fan fic is where I turn for comfort, solace, distraction, the vision of a different kind of world. I can be that for someone else. That seems worth doing.

Connecting with people. Part of my goal in joining the two aforementioned book clubs was to meet new people who might be potential friends. The first one I joined is run by our apartment complex social directors, and I liked it so much that I joined a second one, which is sci fi/fantasy book club through Meetup organized by a queer woman I also met at a local acquaintance's holiday party. I've been making more of an effort to reach out to and make plans with my two local friends. I've been sending more emails, both as part of a what we're up to on Twitter hiatus thread with [personal profile] lakeeffectgirl and as a practice of sending more frequent brief notes from whatever's happening in my life to our larger friend group. In doing this, I've been thinking about Gretchen Rubin's family's updates emails: "Our motto is 'It's okay to be boring.'"
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I've imported my LJ into Dreamwidth and I'm cross-posting for now. (I may switch to only using DW later.) If we're not friends on DW, friend me or tell me who you are! Are any of you using LJ only, or is it time to give up reading my LJ friends page altogether?
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Today I'm thankful for AO3's history feature, which means I could easily go back and find the story I started reading two days ago and wanted to keep reading.
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So yesterday all I was thinking about was that Tyler Seguin somehow found my post about him, and I thought it was hilarious that he was so bored that he somehow found it. I said a lot of things here and on Tumblr about how I believe in having posts open. This morning I went and read the anon memes and other opinions about it, and I realized that in thinking about how it was my post that got linked, I didn't at all think about how it would affect people who commented on or were linked in the post. I'm sorry. I agree that we have responsibilities to each other in this community, and I'm genuinely sorry that I fell down on those responsibilities and hurt people. :( At this point, the only remaining comments on that post are from people who are okay with their comments remaining or people who commented after it was linked to by TSegs.

I am not going to change my opinion on keeping my posts open. I still very much believe in open fandom. (While also believing that it's not okay to push it at the objects of fandom.) But if this kind of thing ever happens to me again, I will be better about protecting the limits of the other people who were involved in my posts.
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I've been replied to by an author, a dancer in a reality show, and a costume designer on Twitter before, but today it was John Rogers acknowledging that his show's pairings really are Nate/Sophie and Eliot/Parker/Hardison:

(Assuming I don't manage to break the fourth wall again, your regularly scheduled ficcish treats will resume tomorrow.)

(Also, why are my screencaps a mess? If you view the image, it looks fine, but when I previewed the post or when I try to post to Tumblr, they're a disaster.)
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I was going to do things today, but then I got home from running errands after having lunch with friends to find this:

Yes, that is Tyler Seguin tweeting my Tylers Seguin-Brown picspam at Tyler Brown as part of his continuing jealousy over Tyler Brown's girlfriend. (For the record, I talk a lot on Twitter about how adorbs TBrown and Julie are, because they're totally adorbs. No hate here!)

Anyway, I promise I'm not the type to freak out and I won't lock or delete anything because of it. I may, however, not get anything else done today because I might never stop laughing.
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I realized recently that I haven't bothered to update my master posts or my delicious bookmarks for my fic since before I did 31 Days of Fic in March. Everything is also on AO3, so I'm not sure if it matters. Therefore: poll time!

[Poll #1852026]
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I keep thinking I should post about hockey more so we can have more conversations about it and do all that fannish stuff, but (a) I'm not very industrious when it comes to things like pictures and video and (b) I think [ profile] lakeeffectgirl is the person most interested in it, and she and I email about hockey all day long anyway. And speaking of, go read her snippet about the Briere kids wanting Claude to move back in. It's so great! Also, I really want all the stories about the Briouxs and their kids. ALL THE STORIES. (Well, actually, only the good ones. Badly written ones can stay unread.)

Mostly my everyday tiny hockey things go on Twitter or Tumblr. I have a confession about Tumblr: sometimes I open things with the intention of reblogging them, and then don't because tagging them seems like too much work. (And I refuse to reblog without tags. My biggest Tumblr pet peeve is untagged and uncaptioned pictures. You can't interest me in people if you don't tell me who they are.) I think I use Tumblr all wrong anyway because I almost never just reblog things. Everyone who follows me and is interested in whatever it is probably also follows the person I'm reblogging from, so there's no real point in reblogging unless I'm going to say something about it, which I don't think is how you're supposed to use Tumblr. You all know I'm wordy anyway, so of course I can't just use Tumblr for pretty things. I also often open things and then decide that, no, I'm not going to pick a fight about it. (But I think there's at least one thing that's getting some angry commentary if I see it a third time.) See? This is why I can't just be fannish, because I overthink things and refuse to just capslock. Semi-relatedly, I'm horribly jealous of how much time people seem to have for fandom. Why can't I have a job where no one cares if I watch videos of hockey players taking us on tours of their houses at my desk?

I must have more time than I think, though, because I ran out of hockey fic to read. (If you know of things I'm not likely to have read, meaning things not at AO3, you should tell me about them!) I tried reading some Generation Kill fic instead (because I generally love GK fic even though I've never seen the show), but it turns out I've read an awful lot of it already, particularly the AUs, which are what I like most. I don't know what to read now. Is there new good Star Trek reboot fic?
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It's looking like a slow afternoon at work (if I haven't jinxed it by saying so), and I have no plans for the evening or weekend (beyond a little errand running), so let's comment party! You can even par-tay, if you feel so inclined. You should feel free to choose whatever topic strikes your fancy, but if you need some prompting, here are possible topics I would talk about (please be kind and note that your comment includes spoilers if it includes spoilers):

  • Posting to Facebook every day is harder than it sounds.

  • Sidney Crosby is a person, not a robot.

  • Why doesn't Sidney Crosby (v. reality or v. fictional) speak Russian?

  • I want to like Scandal way more than I do. (But don't spoil me for this week's ep! I'll update this post after I finish watching it later today.) I finished this week's ep. Spoilers okay!

  • Why did Grey's Anatomy go off the rails just when they were getting back on track? (Don't spoil me for this week's ep of this either! I will update this post after I watch it later today.) I finished this week's ep of this too. Spoilers okay!

  • How do I get over being so afraid to work on my novel?

  • When did Braden/Brayden/Braydon become such a popular name?

  • Patrick Sharp: most attractive hockey player?

  • Are goalies better looking because their masks keep them from getting hit in the face?

  • How awesome was it that H50 ended their season with the reveal I've been waiting for for two seasons?

  • What should replace Brendon and Spencer as my desktop wallpaper?

  • This week's overwhelming popularity of peanut butter cookies among people I know.

  • Hockey players, including, but not limited to, the Brioux family, T.J. Oshie, Kane Toews 4-ever, Carter and Richards: bros for life, Alex Ovechkin, Geno Malkin, and the Staals (or, as I like to say, STAALS).

  • Things you would write or prompt in the casual coupleness (obliviousness optional but appreciated) commentfic fest I would host if I were a BNF.
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Project Appreciation, v. AO3
I'm sometimes amazed by the things AO3 does, particularly in terms of what already exists in the tag sets, and then I have to remember that, right, this is a thing built for us, not some other system we're trying to bend to our will.

Tiny Thoughts on Feedback
I read a few comments on someone's post on how people use AO3's feedback features, which has me thinking more about them. (I don't recommend reading those sorts of discussions. I would rather have not know how some people use the Kudos feature.) I am terrible at leaving feedback. Terrible. I sometimes feel guilty about it, but not guilty enough to leave more feedback. I'm more likely to leave feedback (a) on stories written by friends and (b) on stories posted on LJ. In a twist of contradictory thinking, I never leave Kudos because I don't want people to see what I'm reading, but I dislike AO3's comment system because comments aren't immediately obvious to other people. I will sometimes skim down the comments on fic on LJ to see what other people are saying/what kinds of conversations people are having with the author/if anyone I know has already commented on it, but I only ever click to read the comments on someone else's story on AO3 if I'm looking for something specific (such as checking to see if anyone notified them they mistagged the pairing on their story). What I'm much better at is reccing things. My impulse if I loved something isn't, "I should tell the author I liked this." It's "other people should read this." You might wonder what I'm talking about because I don't post that many recs here. That's because I feel like if I'm reccing something for a wider audience, I should put some effort into it to explain what it is and why you might like it, and then quote from it. That makes recs here less frequent. But what I do when I like a story on an average day is switch over to my Gmail tab, find the appropriate thread, and send a rec that reads something like this: [adjective] [pairing] story where [some enticing detail]: [link]. At least it pushes people's hit counts up?

Friend Appreciation, v. Fannish
I absolutely love the fact that I belong to a group of friends where if you're having a bad day and you're in the same fandom as someone else, there is a good chance someone will write you babyfic/kidfic/deaged!fic. I'm usually on the writing snippets side of that, but yesterday I was having a terrible day, and [ profile] lakeeffectgirl sent me the most adorable babyfic snippet that did, indeed, make my day better.

Friend Appreciation, v. Increasingly Famous
Puck Daddy asked The Production Line to write their Blackhawks season eulogy. I only sort of care about this. What I really care about is that [ profile] stevie_roch is The Production Line's artist, so her drawings (Patrick Kane with a pacifier! Hair gel jokes! Patrick Kane with a lifejacket!) are an integral part of the article.

Three Stories I Would Read That No One Will Ever Write For Fear of Being Called Creepy

  • Trina Crosby gen fic.

  • Taylor Crosby/Stephanie Lemieux. (Reference. Note also that Taylor is a goalie.)

  • A story where some Penguins rookie moves in with the Lemieuxs and he and Austin Lemieux fall in love.
My commitment to writing and plot bunnying things fandom as a whole has no interest in remains strong.
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Tumblr! I have no idea how I'm going to use this. Mostly I wanted to follow people on tumblr instead of having them feed to my friends list because there were too many pictures on my friends page.
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If I were the kind of person to have icons, one of them would be Bart Simpson jumping around the screen yelling, "Pay attention to me!" (Quick googling tells me it's from "Lisa vs. Malibu Stacy," but I couldn't find video of just that bit in the two minutes I allotted to said googling.) Anyway, I am combining this with my happiness commandment to ask and asking you to come talk to me in the comments. Ask questions, tell me about your day, outline a plot bunny in your head. It'll be a party! (Until I go to bed, but I'll be back tomorrow.)

Caveat: please don't post/link me to video. The sustained time and attention required to watch it makes me anxious. I know it's completely illogical that I would rather read a ten thousand-word story than watch a three-minute video, but there it is. Cat, Channing Tatum, and Star Trek macros are a-okay, as long as they are funny.
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I have three things because I wanted to make a post about something, and I couldn't come up with more than three that I really wanted to post about.

1. I have a lot of snippets and ficlets lying about in my Google Docs that haven't been posted here because I don't know what to title them. I will take any and all suggestions for how to go about titling things. (There's also a ficlet I don't want to post because they go shopping at Wal-Mart, which is not an activity I endorse. The rest of the story is incest fic involving a non-celebrity sibling.)

2. [ profile] bandgirlsbang is happening this year! My pairing is okay! I can totally finish this story by October 15. (I can actually probably finish it and do half the editing by then. \o/) You should also sign up if that is at all your kind of thing.

3. Some friends and I have a fic rec thread where we email recs back and forth. One of said friends today added us to a Google Doc where she's been keeping track of recs - from the thread and not - and other things she wants to read. This is way more centralized than my approach. If I see something in the wild that I want to read but not at the moment, I will either (a) remember how to find it again (for example, I know that one of the things I haven't yet clicked on tagged harry/draco+ewe is a 100K story I think I want to come back to on a weekend) or (b) bookmark it (whether or not I ever come back to those is a different matter). For things on the thread or in other emails, I star the message with the link and tag the thread *fic recs (I also have a **fic recs to read soon tag, which was supposed to help me not have so much stuff in my inbox, but I don't necessarily go look at that tag, so mostly things are in my inbox). How do you keep track of things you want to read but haven't?
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I put all my 31 days of fic things into my master posts, and then tried to post it. My RPF master post is now too big for LJ. I'm going to pull the bandom section out into its own post. This brings up two new challenges.

First, what should I do about things with sequels versus things that are standalones? If I had total control over the look, I would do something with differing levels of headers and some indenting. I noticed that my FPF one has things with sequels at the top of the list with standalones under it. Maybe I'll do that.

Secondly, should the bandom post then be reorganized into subcategories? I could split it out by band, but then how do I decide which Pete things go under Fall Out Boy and which go under Black Cards? Organizing by pairing seems like it would be useful to other people, but then I would have a bajillion (number exaggerated for effect) headings with just one story.

Today, I am not letting the perfect be the enemy of the good and I'm just moving bandom to its own post, but maybe I will go back and make it more useful. Suggestions are welcome! Really, though, the most useful way to sort your way through my fic, especially if you want to sort by fandom, pairing, or rating, is to use my Delicious tags.
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I have to admit that I haven't paid a lot of attention to varying fails and other large fannish discussions. I do hear about them sometimes, mostly from [ profile] norwich36 and [ profile] hederahelix. In some post or comment about one of the recent ones, someone (I know, I know; I should cite my sources, but it was not where I thought it was and now I can't remember where it really did come from) said something about how big bang really does seem to bring out the fail. I think there are a couple of things going on around that idea, but one of the biggest things is that fandom seems to have changed. If you'll allow me to put on my old fangirl hat, I remember the days when saying anything less than positive about a story was Not Done. And yet now we have very large conversations about things that are problematic in a specific story. (Granted, conversations range from there, but that's where they start.)

So, fandom, I have two questions for you:

Question 1: Am I right that fandom has changed and you are now allowed to talk about problematic things without being yelled at/shunned/called evil?

Question 1A: If so, can I just do it here in my own LJ as a thing I'm thinking about or do I have to post it as a comment to the author?

Question 2: Does this only apply to politically problematic things, or can I talk about writing using examples from other people's stories? (At the moment I am thinking particularly about how endings seem to be harder than I ever imagined, and I think it would be more interesting to make a post with specific examples than just reproduce the handout I created for my writing group on the topic.)
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Come join [ profile] romoerotic! So far there's an unrec from [ profile] schuyler and a things I would've made you fix in editing post from me. I, for one, have several other books to post about once I get around to writing about them, and I would love to see what you all have to say about other novels.
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According to LJ, this is my one thousandth entry. (This is only sort of true; I posted all my old fic to my LJ this summer, so not all of those 1000 entries are original to LJ.) This seems like a good reason to give you an extra-special treat. Accordingly, today you get a whole playlist. If you remember my blathering about giving my playlist of the moment titles that begin with z, the fact that this playlist is called z3 will make total sense to you. (I'm now up to z4. I don't know what else to name the ones I want to keep!)

Unlike z2, z3 has a particular order. I'm giving you the zip and the track listing without commentary, but if you want to know why I put a specific song on here or why one follows from another, just ask! Since this is stuff I wanted to listen to recently, you will notice some duplicates from z3 and the soundtrack to "You Have My Heart (in your hands)," as well as an earlier treat.


z3 Track List
  1. Love Lockdown - Patrick Stump

  2. Wagon Wheel - Old Crow Medicine Show

  3. Some sweet mourning - Underground Lovers

  4. Ooh Child - Beth Orton

  5. Spit the Dark - Empires

  6. Too Good To Be - New Found Glory

  7. You're It - Halloween, Alaska

  8. Swing Life Away - Rise Against

  9. Another White Dash - Butterfly Boucher

  10. Hum Hallelujah - Fall Out Boy

  11. Gotta Have You - The Weepies
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My life just changed hugely: I am no longer unemployed! I started my new job on Friday. (I would have told you all about it earlier, but there were people I had to tell before I put it on the internet.) This means I won't be at home anywhere near as much as I have been (although I am delighted that my lunch hour is an actual hour and my job is close enough that I can come home for it). So here's what I'm changing to keep writing time:

  • Shifting my day half an hour earlier. This means I'm going to bed at 9:30 and getting up at 6. (My other alternative is taking a shorter morning walk, and I'd rather try this first.) I may have to stay up past my bedtime on Wednesday to find out who wins So You Think You Can Dance instead of taping and watching in the morning.

  • Dumping a lot of the TV I've been watching. I'm keeping How I Met Your Mother, Castle, Mercy, FlashForward, Supernatural, Friday Night Lights, and Leverage, although How I Met Your Mother and Mercy are the only two I'll be watching live. (Wow, that seems like a lot when I look at it written out. HIMYM is the one most likely to go, Castle is the one I'm most likely to let myself get behind on, and Supernatural would probably go if I didn't have someone I like to talk about it with.) I will also watch In Plain Sight when it comes back on, and I may keep up with Fringe (I like Walter and love the cow [that's an actual cow, not a deragatory term for a woman]) on the weekends. Everything else is going. (Consider this item a substitute for the entry I never wrote about what I'm watching this season.)

  • Unfollowing celebrities other than Mark Rose and Empires (so I can support them and because they're the celebrities my friends are most likely to reply to) on my personal Twitter account. I've been keeping them there largely so people who got there from here could find who I'm following. Having them duplicated with my appropriate for talking to celebrities account wasn't much of an issue when I was home watching the alerts pop up all day, but is a pain when I can only check it a couple of times a day. I've been trying to keep my talking to celebrities Twitter account unconnected to anything else I'm doing, but if you want to see who I'm following, you can find that account here.

  • Cutting down my LJ friends list. I'm probably not going to cut anyone who's an actual person I talk to, but a few communities, some feeds, and possibly fic journals/people who write for fandoms I no longer read are going.
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Thanks to everyone who stuck around through the last 28 days of kink recs. (Surprisingly, only one person unfriended me because of this. That one person is from the same RL friend group as the one person who unfriended me when I was doing music recs.) For those of you who read fan fic/ebooks/kink fic, I hope you found something worth reading. For those of you who don't, I hope you didn't mind seeing this on your friends page every day, and I appreciate the way you waded through these posts and still talked to me about other things I had to say.

This was an interesting project to do. At first, I was really into it. After a while, though, it became just another chore, which you could probably tell by the way my posts quickly got shorter.

At some point, I figured I'd already revealed so much about myself that revealing any more wouldn't make much difference. However, there were a couple of recs that felt more revealing than others. The day I recced "Iterations," I walked around blushing all day. The rec for "Whatever Makes Him Happy" felt very revealing to me, even though I didn't say much about it. (This tension between what I think I'm revealing and what I'm actually revealing is part of what made me rec "And Then They Came On Brendon's Face, The End.") The rec for "Whoopee Cushion" was another that made me blush a little for what it revealed about just how kinky my sex scene preferences can be.

It struck me partway through this that for someone who likes sub kink so much, a lot of the things I recced were told from the top's point of view. I did a quick tally, and I recced 20 stories from the sub's pov to 15 from the top's pov. (With 9 alternating povs, one in third omniscient, and 3 I tallied as "other," but which are really sticking with one character who's a switch. Statistical notes: I counted each series as one story, and somewhere I did not do something right because I have a tally of 49 stories total, but only 48 in my pov tally and 46 in my attempt to track slash/het/bisexual threesomes.) So sub pov edged out top, but not by much. My superstars divided themselves up into two from the top's pov, one from the sub's, and one with alternating/both povs.


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Ruth Sadelle Alderson


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