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I've had The New Bottoming Book and The New Topping Book, both by Dossie Easton and Janet W. Hardy, on my to-read list for years, and sometime in the recent past, I bought both of them, and I finally got around to reading them.

I need to put a disclaimer on this review so you know where I'm coming from: I have an interest in kink - I read these partly out of personal interest and partly for writing research - but I'm not part of the kink community and I've never actually done anything kinky.

I read The New Bottoming Book first, and I sped through it. If you know anything about my interest in kink, that shouldn't be surprising. The New Topping Book took longer to read, and I found myself more and more annoyed with Easton and Hardy as the book went on. I'm not sure if that's because I was reading it with a more analytical eye or if that's because their biases really are more obvious in The New Topping Book than in The New Bottoming Book.

I think there's a lot of good information in both books, and there's a lot of opportunity for you to notice things you might like or dislike. (For example, they mention earplugs at one point, and I had a very visceral hell no reaction to that, which isn't something I ever would have thought of as a limit.) The books are complementary - each book covers different things, and each perspective would be useful to people whose interest lies with the other side of things - and I would suggest reading both if you're going to read one. The books are also very much from Easton and Hardy's perspective, and, despite their disclaimers that different people do kink differently, seem to be about their idea of what kink is. Some examples:

Complaints )

It's also worth noting that the books are several years old - The New Bottoming Book was published in 2001 and The New Topping Book in 2003 - and that means some of their information, particularly concerning the internet, is quite out of date just because the world has changed so much in the intervening years. I found myself laughing at their explanation of websites: "These sites resemble magazines in many ways; they may feature pictures, text, and sometimes even video and audio, and they allow you to move from one page to another as your interests dictate."

Like I said, there is good information in both these books, but I'm not sure I'm glad I read them. I've occasionally thought about seeking out the local kink community, but by the time I finished The New Topping Book, I thought that if Easton and Hardy really are representative of the kink community at large, then finding that community is the last thing I want to do.
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The one thing I've been lamenting about hockey fandom is its lack of kink fic. There's a lot of casual kink - people enjoying being manhandled/held down/bitten - but not much of the more serious variety. Then along came [livejournal.com profile] liketheroad with a complicated kindness. I'm sure you've heard me say before that my cardinal rule of sex scenes is that how they feel is more important than what they do, and this is increasingly true the more people in the scene or the kinkier it is. "a complicated kindness" hews true to that rule. She fades to black for half the sex scene, which works incredibly well because (a) the story is all about the feeling of the kink and (b) it's the kind of sex scene where you could easily get stuck on what they're doing and forget to show us how they feel. The whole story has exactly the fantastic kind of feeling I want from d/s fic. It does take place in high school, so if that's not your thing, you shouldn't read it. It also does exactly what I've been pondering when thinking about kink and hockey players being young and has them look things up on the internet.
Shaking still, he types in another link, but it doesn’t take him to more porn, which sucks a lot, but is probably helpful in terms of Patrick’s goal of not coming in his pants.

He tries to focus on the text in front of him, and after blinking at it stupidly for awhile Patrick realizes he’s reading some kind of a FAQ on bondage and sadomasochism. Patrick kind of wants to skip it and see if there’s more porn, but it was on Johnny’s list so that means he has to read it.

It seems pretty straightforward to Patrick. He never thought to lay things out like the website does, but he finds himself nodding a lot, feeling like he wants to fist-bump whoever wrote the responses. Like, who wouldn’t want to get tied up? Seems like a pretty fucking great idea. He imagines rope digging into his wrists and thinks he would still prefer Johnny’s hands, but if Johnny was the one watching him struggle against them, Patrick figures he could probably make do.

Same goes for getting hit, getting choked. It all sounds fucking awesome, if you ask Patrick, and really the only thing he doesn’t get is why anyone would want something different. Pain is - in hockey pain is how you know you’re doing good, how you know you’re working hard enough. It should burn a little. It should leave you gasping, emptied out, wanting more.

If hockey’s like that, and hockey is the best thing in the world, Patrick figures sex can’t be that much different. It might even be better, maybe, but he doesn’t really know. Mostly, all Patrick knows is that whatever he’s doing, he wants to be doing it with Johnny.
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I found two things very interesting about this meme. First of all, it was longer every time I saw it. In that spirit, I've added a couple of things to it. Secondly, I was surprised by some of people's answers - even those of people I thought I knew really well. I would love to know what on here surprises you!

I have answered these as if the question regarding each item were, "Do you like this?" Unless otherwise specified, I will read - and enjoy - the things I've said no to when well-written, although I wouldn't click on them unless they were by someone I know is a good writer or they were part of a story with something else I wanted to read.


Meme! )
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I've read tentacle fic before, and I've never really gotten into it. It didn't squick me; I was just disinterested. But it turns out that I really like tentacle fic when it's about Bob. So have some recs. (Yes, yes there are multiple tentacle fics about Bob.)

I clicked on the link to [livejournal.com profile] mahoni's The Red Light District of R'lyeh (Bob/Brian/Patrick[/tentacles]) even though I was skeptical of tentacles because it was delicious tagged as bandom+d/s and I hadn't read it yet. You know what I love in kink? People taking it beyond what they think they can, and this story has that in spades.
By the time it stops, he can only breathe through his nose. His jaw stretches wide, as wide as when Brian and Patrick both fuck his mouth at the same time. He can't hold back a desperate moan; it's still a little bit from being freaked out, but he can't deny he's getting turned on. This is different than when it's just him and Brian and Patrick. He knows them; he knows the kinds of things they like to do.

This thing, he doesn't know what it will do. He's helpless against it, and it can do anything to him, and even though that's scary in a way he's never scared with Brian and Patrick, it's also a lot hotter than he'd like to admit.
Then I was reading my way through Bob/Mikey fic and came upon There Are Worse Things Than Tentacles, also by [livejournal.com profile] mahoni. This one is more humorous than porny, although there is some sex in it.
Suddenly Bob's blush deepened and his eyes went a little wide. He glanced down between them. Mikey followed his gaze and noticed that his other two tentacles (yellow and white polka dots, and a festive neon green with red swirls) were slowly twining around Bob's legs. Mikey hesitated, startled and abruptly overwhelmed with the extra sets of sensations -- Bob's broad shoulders, and Bob's solid waist, and the curve of Bob's ass and his thighs and wow.

"Um," Bob said. His voice sounded a bit strained, but not an angry or unhappy sort of strained. More the kind of strained Mikey tended to hear when he straddled Bob's lap in his tight jeans and dominatrix boots and pinned Bob's wrists to the couch and made him ask politely for it. "Like I said. Weird. But. Also kinda hot, now that I'm thinking about it."
And then this weekend I've been reading Bob/Brian fic, and I came across [livejournal.com profile] saekokato's Tossing Up a Strong Vibe. The thing I loved about this fic before I read it is that she wrote it for kink bingo - for the voyeurism square. It's also totally hot. (And I would read any and all sequels.)
Because Brian has definitely walked in on Bob jerking off in front of the television.

Like actually in front of the television, using the black screen as a mirror, bent over his coffee table, moaning like he's being ridden hard. His back is arched from the way he's spread his legs - back and out - so that he's still on his feet, but not blocking his view on the screen, and his head is twisted around so he can watch as a tentacle fucks itself into his ass. There's another one wrapped around Bob's wrists, pulling both of his arms over his head, and the angle forces him to rock up onto the balls of his feet with every thrust the other tentacle makes into his ass.
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I was reading kink where the sub was kneeling with his hands behind his back and had to stand up, and his dom helped him. I've probably read similar things before, but this time it struck me: how hard is that, really? I took/have taken (I haven't decided yet if this is just a temporary break or if it's really time for me to move on) belly dance for almost five years, which means I can stand up from sitting or kneeling without using my hands while balancing a sword on my head, but I don't know how easy/hard that is for other people. So really, a two part question:

(a) How hard is it to stand up from kneeling without using your hands? (There's no need to guess on this; you can always kneel, clasp your hands behind your back, and try to stand up. Anonymous commenting is on if you don't want to admit to having tried this. I did try it, and it was easy for me.)

(b) Would being in subspace make it harder?
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I have a lot of confidence in my writing ability. I think even my ability to write physical descriptions (something fan fic doesn't teach you) has improved to an acceptable level. But there's still one area where I don't feel confident: kink.

I'd say this is because kink isn't something I have any experience with, but I've written all kinds of sex, relationships, and other situations that I don't have any experience with.

I don't know why kink is such a challenge for me. Somehow in my head I don't want to get it wrong. (And reading the comments on really good kink always makes me feel even more nervous about it. Try it sometime; you'll be amazed by how many people come out of the woodwork to say, "So many people get [some aspect of kink] wrong, but you didn't.")

I think I'm thinking about this now because I'm getting to the end of my novel and my plan for the next one is for it to be about a bdsm relationship. But even if I skip that and start in on my five-book series idea, I'm just postponing it because that series has one bdsm relationship and some other kinks as well.

I'm also thinking about it because I have two d/s stories in progress - one girl!Gabe/Victoria and one Mike/William - and every time I scan through them it hits me how little actual kink I've managed to write so far. I said to friends about the Mike/William story, "I don't care as much about the sex as I do about, say, Bill tying Mike up while Evie's at school." I've written about a thousand words of the aftermath of Bill tying Mike up, but the actual scene itself mostly has a lot of white space around a note to self and people reading the Google Doc that says only, "[rope]." The girl!Gabe/Victoria story doesn't even have anything approaching a complete sex scene, although there's the beginning of one where I know how it ends, so maybe I just need to write my way toward the middle - much like I'm doing with the story itself.

How do you write good kink? How do you know it's good when you're writing it? I will also take any other sorts of encouragement or advice on the matter, or interesting resources/blogs about kink or kink writing.
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I told [livejournal.com profile] inlovewithnight that I had things written for many of my prompts. I'm lazy about posting because I don't want to take the time to add things to my master list and delicious tags, but I think that things should be organized. So what I'm going to do is just post some things and worry about organizing them on the weekends. This post is some snippets and plot bunnies that aren't big enough for their own posts.

*

Warning: This first bit includes slavery and mention of a past suicide attempt.

Gabe rescues Pete, in space )

*

Mike/Gabe kink (setup) )


*

Things I wrote for prompts in my previous post:

William rescues sex slave Mike, in space for [livejournal.com profile] inlovewithnight

A Good Dude (Pete/Ashlee, Jessica/f, Pete tries to set Jessica up with a good dude) for [livejournal.com profile] trcunning

Mike and Greta fight space pirates for [livejournal.com profile] icanbreakthesky


*

Plot Bunnies

Someone this week commented on my Ryan ODing plot bunny (1, 2, 3), which I keep thinking I'm going to transcribe but probably never will. The comment prompted me to actually listen to it, which I couldn't do just after I finished it. The first part's a little shaky, but after that it really sounds like I know what I'm doing. Noticeable element: you can hear me pause to think, but I never say "uh" or "um" in those pauses, which is something I totally learned from Di-Phi.

Anyway, I bring this up not just to mention that but also because I always meant to tell you what I would have done differently if I'd written it instead of telling it into the phone. At this point, I can only remember two things, so here they are: Edits )

*

There was a big bang story where a writer turned Gabe into a Catholic priest, and in the discussion I read, [livejournal.com profile] rhipowered said, "Ugh, Saporta possibly being Sephardi (I wasn't aware) and the historical issues of forced conversion were tickling at the back of my mind but didn't fully click until I read your comment." This made me think you could write a very interesting story about Gabe the priest discovering that his family had been forced to convert by the Inquisition. The summary for this story would read:

Father Gabe Saporta has risen fast and high in the Church hierarchy. But now he's stepped on the wrong people's toes and he's been banished to the archives to dig through and help catalog centuries of Church records. When this assignment leads him to discover the records detailing his own family's forcible conversion at the hands of the Church's Inquisition, he begins to question the basis for his whole life.

This could also be the plot of an original novel. If you write that book, I expect to be thanked on the Acknowledgements page.

*

Songwriter William Beckett and artist Christine Bandy decide that parenting is a full-time job and since songwriting and creating art are also both full-time jobs, they really need a third person to help them out. In the meantime, Bill's best friend Adam's friend Mike has just moved back to Chicago after a breakup and is staying on Adam's couch. There is some event (like dinner at the Bandy-Beckett house or a picnic in the park) that brings them all together and Evie likes Mike, so Bill and Christine hire him. Mike, of course, is exactly what they needed to keep their lives in order. He's good with Evie, he helps Bill with a tricky bit of music, and something about him just inspires Christine. Somehow this also gives purpose to Mike's life so he falls in love with Bill and Christine as they fall in love with him. The trick to this story is to make Mike a real person and not just Mary Poppins (practically perfect in every way).
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Today I am both reccing and unreccing the same story, and for the same reason. Before you click the link, I highly recommend you read something of what I have to say about this story, or at least the bolded sentence below.

Months and months ago I clicked through from delicious bookmarks to I want to choke (u) and get sick off of you like cigarette smoke by [livejournal.com profile] lalejandra. I read it in the morning, and was upset by it the whole rest of the day. Ten months later, I'm still kind of traumatized by it. At the time I read it, someone had commented to say that her warnings were incomplete, but she hadn't seen that comment and changed them yet. I don't think it would have made a difference for me because this story hews closely to my cardinal rule of sex scenes - how they feel is more important than what they do, and this is increasingly true the more people in the scene or the kinkier it is - and it was the feel, not the actions that traumatized me. So here's my additional warning: This story made me feel unsafe. I'm not sure that's ever happened to me before. That's why I'm unreccing this. But it's also the reason I'm reccing it. The more I thought about it, the more I realized that my feeling unsafe meant it was really well written.

Spoilers )

I'm bringing this story up now because one of the sequels she wrote is showing up in my delicious tag searches, and I'm afraid to click on it. I'm hoping that one of you has or will read the sequels and tell me if they're safe for me to read.
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I Know This Hurts (It Was Meant To) by [livejournal.com profile] dancinbutterfly is amazing. Pete is the main character, and I won't spoil you by telling you the pairing. I, of course, did highlight to read the pairing, and I think it's probably interesting in a whole other way if you read it without knowing.

I don't really know what to say about this story because I just loved it. I've read the whole thing twice through in the last week, and parts of it more than that. I will say that I find different people's reactions to things fascinating. [livejournal.com profile] reni_days recced it and said, "It left me thoughtful and unsettled for days." I found it settling.
Lips press to his forehead. “No, I meant what do you need? Tell me.”

Pete flounders. He doesn’t have the answer. Even if he did, he doesn’t have the words. “I don’t- Just please. Please, sir, please.”

“I’ve got you,” he says, but he lets go of Pete’s face, resting it gently on the bench. For a second, Pete thinks the man’s going to release him and a protest catches in the back of his throat. But instead there are lips on his back, tracing and agitating the welts.

It’s a completely different kind of pain. This makes Pete feel like he’s being put back together one piece at a time. It hurts, but he still relaxes; melts into the bench so much that when a spit-slick finger slides inside him he doesn’t react with more than a gasp.

“Easy.” The Dom’s other hand presses down on Pete’s shoulders. He doesn’t push against it. “You were such a good boy for me.” Pete moans as a second finger pushes inside and that gets him a warm mouth on the base of his spine, over a particularly raw welt. “Good boys get rewards.”

Pete can’t remember the last time anyone thought he was good, like, really good.
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Normally I would just email recs, but the people I would normally email dislike at least one member of the pairings for all of these fics, so you all get them instead, and maybe one of you will find something here you like.

Walk it for you by [livejournal.com profile] colouredmango - This is a Cash/Singer story in which Cash has been gone for a long time, but he finds Singer anyway. This story is amazing. I'm not sure how to describe this genre that I love: the warrior and the non-warrior love story plus sci fi, maybe? Anyway, I loved it and would have read a million more words of it.
Tucked into the corner of the mirror is an old old picture, or rather two; it's the two top pictures from an old photo booth. Alex knows them, remembers them. He has the bottom two, and he can tell you how it starts: Two boys making faces at each other, one boy shoving the other off. Alex has one kid creeping back onto the other's lap, and he has the kiss right at the end, the kiss he never forgot.

But he hasn't seen the top two in years. And he's never seen them in his bedroom.

He stands up and walks over and eases the photograph out, turns it over. Written on the back in Cash's shaky illiterate scrawl is, "I fucking love you." It's worn and faded, like it was written there years ago.

Taped right beside the words is the tiniest flash drive Alex has ever seen.
Objects in Motion by [livejournal.com profile] airgiodslv - This is a Gabe/William space AU in which Gabe rescues slaves, preferably before they've been entirely broken. This story was so incredible that I couldn't read anything else for the rest of the day because I knew it wouldn't be as good. This is one I would recommend even if you don't know the characters.
He realized his mistake – and the proximity of the dock-hook – a split-second too late. William lunged for the hook, swinging it around in a move that by all rights should have spilled Gabe’s guts all over the metal deck, but Gabe blocked it with his walking stick at the last second and both weapons smashed into the grates lining the hatch, the hook skidding across with a metallic screech and a small shower of sparks.

If William got loose, Gabe wouldn’t be able to protect him, and besides that, it had been a long fucking day. Gabe was running somewhat low on patience. He caught the hook with the stick’s cobra head, twisted them sharply around until William’s arm wrenched in its socket and he fell to his knees trying to keep hold of the hook without dislocating his shoulder, and then Gabe stepped in to yank William’s head back by his gorgeous hair, triggering the trick catch on his stick and pressing the knife blade to William’s throat.

“We’ll work on this,” Gabe said optimistically, driving William forward on his knees and shoving him into the first storage room they came across that had a lock. He slapped the panel to secure the room and then sagged against the wall, suddenly keenly feeling like he’d just been run over by a hoverjet.
Congruence by [livejournal.com profile] airgiodslv - This is a Mikey/Gabe/William story in which Gabe and Mikey are together, have been together, and they decide they want William to be a part of that. I very much enjoyed this story. I really liked the bits about Mikey's relationship with Gerard. Since I find endings highly important (I keep thinking I should write an entry just about endings), reading this shortly after reading "Objects In Motion" gave me an interesting insight into [livejournal.com profile] airgiodslv's endings.
He doesn’t know why it works. He’d never looked at Gabe and thought, ‘this is what’s missing in my life,’ but two years later, here they are. Gee knows about them – it would have been impossible to hide it from the band, especially for this long – and his attitude seems to be a mix of respect for Mikey’s choice and the steadfast belief that no one could ever be good enough. There are worse reactions; Mikey’s willing to take it.

It’s nice, though, that while Gabe and Gee get along fine, they’ve never been close. Gabe is something that Mikey didn’t have to steal, because Gee never had him first.
Darken My Door by [livejournal.com profile] inlovewithnight and Black Eye Casts No Shadow by [livejournal.com profile] morganya - These are both Gabe/Pete spanking stories, which can be filed under "things I didn't know my life was complete without until they were there." These are, in many ways, completely different stories, but they were both entirely satisfying.

From "Darken My Door":
He looks down at his phone again, running his fingers over the screen. Maybe--things change, stuff comes up, people realize there are new directions they’d rather go in and that’s fine, that’s awesome, so maybe--

The knock on the door is really loud, startling enough that he half-falls off the couch. He drops his phone, too, and it slides off under the couch as he goes to answer the door. He doesn’t go back for it; no point now.

Gabe is leaning in the doorframe, hat pulled down low so that the brim meets his glasses, which only cover half of the shadows under his eyes. “Hey,” he says. “Hope I didn’t wake you up.”

“I’m going to just pretend you didn’t even say anything that dumb, dude.”

Gabe half-smiles--not really, not quite--and tosses his duffel bag past Pete into the entryway. “You were just waiting up for me? Keeping the light on? Thanks, man, that’s so sweet.” There’s an edge to his voice, just a little bit of mocking, but Pete can roll with it. He knows where it’s coming from.
From "Black Eye Casts No Shadow":
"I want you," Gabe said very distinctly, "to take me back to the motel, put me over your knee and fuckin' beat my ass."

This was not the reaction that Pete was expecting.

"You've been fuckin' driving me nuts, you know?" Gabe said. "I swear to fuckin' God, you need to just get it all out of your system right now because I can't handle this shit anymore. I gotta work, dude, and I can't work if all I can think about is you smacking me until I'm raw."

Pete looked at him. Gabe was breathing hard, and his breath smelled like smoke.
Pick the Poison (And Pour Yourself a Glass) by [livejournal.com profile] inlovewithnight - This is an amazing Gabe/William, William/Mike kink fic/love story that I foolishly read in bits and pieces. I should have read it all at once, because leaving the story to go back to the real world was difficult when I was deeply in the same headspace as Mike and William.
Mike takes another drink, determinedly not looking over at Bill. He doesn't give a fuck what Bill does, or doesn't do. He's not his babysitter.

Unfortunately, it turns out that he can declare that all he wants, he's still attuned enough to Bill that his head swivels around like he's doing a community-theater version of The Exorcist the minute Bill starts raising his voice. Mike shouldn't even have been able to hear that over the bar noise, or recognize it through the beer in his system and the sheer annoyance of losing three games straight to the chuckleheads he calls his band. But he hears, and he recognizes, and he's halfway back to the bar by the time Bill draws himself up to his full stupid height and throws the first punch.
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I wanted to read something d/s yesterday, and was skimming through the bandom+d/s tag at delicious. I happened to click on [livejournal.com profile] colouredmango's "Come Here," and am I ever glad I did.
Sisky ignores the rules of pass back and catches Butcher's hand to take another drag, greedy brat. He eyes Butcher and says, "Nobody ever asked me about it."

Unspoken there is, I never asked for it. They never noticed. Butcher gets that urge again to slap himself, the one he gets when he thinks about wasted years of Sisky that he missed out on, while he takes his drag and Sisky rolls closer into him.
This was actually one of those stories where I'm out of touch with myself. I was reading it thinking that I wasn't that into it because there's so much unsaid (which is part of the point of the story), and then I got to the end and had to gasp for breath because I'd been so intensely focused on the story I forgot to breathe.
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As you may have noticed, Fuck City is my new fandom. It's a small one, and the undisputed queen of Matt/Andy is [livejournal.com profile] megyal. She's written a lot of really good fic, and of the two that are my favorites, one of them is nicely kinky: "Waiter, there's been a mistake; I ordered a quiche." (My other favorite of hers is "one mile to every inch of.")

The sum total of her summary for "Waiter, there's been a mistake; I ordered a quiche." is, "Written for [livejournal.com profile] sosodirty comm. NC-17 | ~4,200 words | kink: piercing". Every time I read it, I'm struck by the way she identifies piercing as the kink. Sure, the piercing is important, and they do have sex made even better for it, but the piercing is mostly the framework for the real kink of the story, which is about power, control, and what happens when you let someone all the way in. (That last one is a recurring theme in her Matt/Andy fic.)
Matt sounded smug. "Oh yeah, that's it. You said it yourself, too. Some girl says, hey, I like you with a labret, and you do it because it gets her off when you go down on her and you like having her want that. Some dude likes when you suck his dick with the tongue-piercing and he needs it so bad and you want him to need it. It's not just a sex thing. You want them to... to owe you, or some shit like that."

Andy scowled. "And you? What the fuck do you want it for?"

"I want." Matt was breathing hard. "I want you to fucking memorize who put it there. I want that every time you move, you curse me out and you want me to fuck you all at the same time. I want that, you stupid shit," and fuck, Matt was in a mood, because he hung up on Andy again.

Andy thought about calling him on the house-line and yelling his ear off, but he was so turned on, he had to toss his phone to one side of the bed and grabbed his stiff cock, jerking his fingers roughly over sensitive skin; he bit his lip as he came, Matt's rough voice ricocheting in his mind.
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I should've done kink recs before. In doing them, I discovered that two of my best friends, who I've been friends with for years, like the same kinks I do. That's years of kink talk we could have been having that we missed out on! At least we know now, and it's made for fun when talking JoBros plot bunnies with one of them. (Seriously, the JoBros Kink Meme is pretty good for kink, but there still isn't quite enough power struggle/control fic.)

I've also found that since I did a whole bunch of them, the occasional one-off seems like no big deal in terms of what it might tell you about me. (Although there's one story I don't know if I can rec because I know someone who knows one of the characters. Weirdly, this doesn't keep me from reading fic about the character, whereas there's another character I can't read fic about [or at least not where he's the main character] because I know someone who knows him. This clearly is not entirely rational.)

The other place I'm finding an interesting intersection of relationships is on Twitter. You may remember that I started using Twitter as a sort of fannish Facebook - a place to post short fannish updates not appropriate for my Facebook status line. But now more and more people I know from places other than fandom are following me on Twitter, which makes for an interesting experience. All of the other fannish people I know are using Twitter to keep in touch with people they know and/or talk to celebrities, which means they don't really engage in fannish stuff. And then there are the people I know from places other than fandom who obviously aren't talking fandom.

But what's most interesting/disturbing/thought-provoking is the way having non-fannish people pay attention has changed what I talk about. I'd been posting snippets of the resistance AU (which, incidentally, I finished the first draft of yesterday, so you may see it sometime soon) as I wrote/transcribed them. On the day that B, who I've been friends with for a very long time, started following me, I was transcribing a sex scene and was going to paste a sentence into the Twitter update box when I thought, "I can't do that! B's following me!" and then I was annoyed with myself for the rest of the afternoon. I eventually sent him an email saying that I was likely to post porn and I would understand if he didn't want to follow me, and he wrote back asking why I thought it would bother him, and since then, he's admitted he didn't really read my story posts (at least the things where I wrote a whole story via Twitter).

Here's the thing: B is the person I'm closest to that I don't talk about sex with. And I keep thinking about Tony Kushner talking about giving away too much of yourself when talking about sex. And having other people I know even less well follow me makes it even weirder.

The result of all of this is that I now talk more about music, real life, and the alternate ridiculousness and adorableness of the celebrities I'm following, and less about fannish things and porn, and I'm not sure I like that.
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When I was doing kink fic recs, one of the things I said (or at least thought) about why I would never do it all in one post is that I would worry about forgetting things. Well, sure enough, I did forget things. I was reading a spanking fic recently which reminded me of another spanking fic I forgot to rec.

The story is "Before Dinner Kinks" by [livejournal.com profile] entrenous88. It's a Xander/Andrew maybe AU kind of thing (really, the plot doesn't matter), that involves spanking and sex over a chair. It's totally hot, and I love Andrew's internal voice.

Note: the fic is at Geocities, which is apparently closing later this year. [livejournal.com profile] entrenous88 has a post about what she's doing in the future so if you've stumbled across this in the future, you can look there to see where it might be now.
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So some people have had some of these emailed to them, but others of you might find them interesting and one of them is new, so here they are! (I cannot believe I now need a JoBros tag.)

These first two are the angsty!Spencer stories I'm hoping are obvious enough that someone will write them and I can just read them.

Angsty!Spencer: Option 1
They're all very rational about it. It's been coming, and when Jon and Ryan finally say they need to do their own thing and they all agree about it, it's fine. Later, Spencer goes home (aside: does he have his own place in LA or does he still live in Brendon's guest room?) and falls apart. (This may not be my first Spencer the with-it one falls apart vague idea.) And then, I don't know. Brendon makes it better (with his cock)?

Angsty!Spencer: Option 2
They've left the studio and have moved on to MKII when both their phones buzz. The first thing Spencer feels when he sees the picture is a burst of white hot anger, and he thinks, "How could you do this to us?" And then he remembers that he doesn't have that right anymore, that Ryan's not his anymore.

He still wants to call and yell at him, because, Jesus Christ, cocaine?

And then he wants to call Jon and demand to know if he knew about this.

He can't do either one because they're not his anymore.

He's still staring at it when Brendon wraps his arms around him and presses his face against Spencer's back.

And then, I guess, they're all cuddly and eventually there's sex?

Aside
Do you think Ryan Ross has any concept of how he comes across? Because this really did not make him seem particularly sympathetic to me.

Brendon/Zack
So Zack said, "Then sometimes you need to take a nap in my lap," and I have to admit that I was kind of disappointed that the accompanying picture was a puppy and not Brendon. There should totally be (a) more Brendon/Zack fic and (b) fic where Brendon's all tired and cranky and Zack knows, and knows, too, that Brendon's not going to settle down by himself, so Zack tugs him down into his lap, and then Brendon falls asleep there. (I can't figure out if bandom really doesn't have the diversity of stories that J2 does or if bandom folks just don't tag things quite as granularly. It's surprisingly hard to find what I want when what I want is more than just a pairing. Witness: j2+cuddling vs. brendon/spencer+cuddling.)

Joe/Nick d/s
I don't really have a specific bunny for this, but I was reading a Joe/Nick story yesterday that was almost on the verge of being about power issues. I can't decide what I want more: Joe taking over and forcing Nick to give up control, or Nick being totally in control and Joe just giving up everything to him. If any of you happen to find such a thing of either type, you should tell me about it. (I did write the beginning of something like this today, but I don't know if it's going anywhere.)

Bonus Jonas
What if Frankie grows up to be gay? I don't know where I would go with this, but I kind of like the idea. Like, Frankie doesn't grow up ignored, exactly, but by the fourth kid, his parents pretty much trust that kids can take care of themselves, plus his brothers are the ones in the spotlight all the time, so he doesn't get a lot of the same kind of attention and pressure his brothers do. So he gets to just quietly be gay. And even when he starts dating, no one notices, even though he and his dates sometimes show up on things like TMZ. Even they don't think his dates are dates, just friends. And maybe Frankie never put on a purity ring, so no one really cares about that either. And then there's a guy who is just amazing. Sweet, and hot, and totally into Frankie. And they keep dating, and eventually Frankie brings him home to meet his family, and it takes them a while to realize that this isn't just a friend, this is Frankie's boyfriend. (I appear to be writing a snippety version of this, too, but if someone wanted to write the epic version, I would love you forever.)
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I keep rereading this story and thinking how amazing it is, and it's more than worth a random kink rec post. The story is "Pull Your Tangles Out" by [livejournal.com profile] boweryd. It has some of that same feel as "Tell me to stop" with Spencer feeling his way around what it means to have that kind of responsibility for Brendon. I also really like the way that Spencer, Brendon, and Ryan just accept Brendon doing what Spencer tells him to as normal and it's only when Jon notices and then says something about it that things change:
"Brendon, seriously, bed," Spencer says, pushing at Brendon's shoulder where it was resting against his leg.

"Dude, no, come on, I am about to kick Jon's ass on such an epic scale. Seriously epic. Someone will write songs about the ass kicking I am about to deliver."

Jon snorts, and on the screen Brendon's character's head explodes in a spray of gore. "Owned," Jon says evenly. "So owned."

Brendon gapes at Jon, then the screen, and twists around to gape at Spencer. "No. No. Rematch!"

"Bed," Spencer says, firmly. "We have an interview tomorrow. I'm not asking you." Brendon grumbles in a cursory manner before standing up and shuffling toward the bunks, and when Spencer rises to follow, he finds Jon staring at him in this even, measuring way.

"What?"

"Nothing," Jon says, but Spencer can practically feel Jon's eyes boring into his back as he turns towards the bunks.
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Thanks to everyone who stuck around through the last 28 days of kink recs. (Surprisingly, only one person unfriended me because of this. That one person is from the same RL friend group as the one person who unfriended me when I was doing music recs.) For those of you who read fan fic/ebooks/kink fic, I hope you found something worth reading. For those of you who don't, I hope you didn't mind seeing this on your friends page every day, and I appreciate the way you waded through these posts and still talked to me about other things I had to say.

This was an interesting project to do. At first, I was really into it. After a while, though, it became just another chore, which you could probably tell by the way my posts quickly got shorter.

At some point, I figured I'd already revealed so much about myself that revealing any more wouldn't make much difference. However, there were a couple of recs that felt more revealing than others. The day I recced "Iterations," I walked around blushing all day. The rec for "Whatever Makes Him Happy" felt very revealing to me, even though I didn't say much about it. (This tension between what I think I'm revealing and what I'm actually revealing is part of what made me rec "And Then They Came On Brendon's Face, The End.") The rec for "Whoopee Cushion" was another that made me blush a little for what it revealed about just how kinky my sex scene preferences can be.

It struck me partway through this that for someone who likes sub kink so much, a lot of the things I recced were told from the top's point of view. I did a quick tally, and I recced 20 stories from the sub's pov to 15 from the top's pov. (With 9 alternating povs, one in third omniscient, and 3 I tallied as "other," but which are really sticking with one character who's a switch. Statistical notes: I counted each series as one story, and somewhere I did not do something right because I have a tally of 49 stories total, but only 48 in my pov tally and 46 in my attempt to track slash/het/bisexual threesomes.) So sub pov edged out top, but not by much. My superstars divided themselves up into two from the top's pov, one from the sub's, and one with alternating/both povs.
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This is the last of my kink fic recs for this series, and this is the superstar to end all superstars. If you read only one story out of this series, read this one. Even if you don't read kink fic, read this one. Even if you don't read J2, read this one. It's not only my favorite of all of these recs, it's quite possibly my favorite piece of fan fic of all time.

The story is [livejournal.com profile] technosage's Break Loose Ranch series. The main story arc is J2; there's also some Chris/Steve, Chad/Steve, and Chris/Dave.

Break Loose Ranch is a half-AU in which Jensen became an actor while Jared has a ranch in Texas. They meet when Jared's right-hand man Chad drags him to a Kane show. It's not particularly kinky on the surface, but there's a beautiful d/s undertone to Jared and Jensen's relationship:
Jared splays his palm over his lower back, steadying. "Where's the lube, baby?"

Not, do you have any? Not, did you bring? Quiet, confident, knowing - because, whether he's saying it or not, Jensen is his, and he always carries slick for Jared. For them, so they can have each other wherever and whenever inspiration strikes, because Jared, fucking Prince Charming, won't take him without - not unless he's got time to lick him wide and wet.

"Jacket...pocket," he pants out, and Jared doesn't ask which. Right, always right. Jared's right-handed and so is he. Make things easy, easy for Jared.
But even if d/s isn't your thing, you should read this series because the language and the tone are so beautifully perfect:
In Jared's experience, you can tell a lot about a person from what they eat and how. Take Jared, he prefers flapjacks for breakfast, straight up, nothing fancy in them, just a golden brown batter with a hint of nut, real creamery butter with salt for just the right mix of flavors -- and a spill of thick maple syrup worth pushing a stack of pancakes around a plate to catch the last ever-loving drop of. He figures that says a lot about him, like he's a good 'ol boy, appreciates life's simple pleasures, but he wants what he wants and he'll go to some serious lengths to get it.

Now Jensen, on the other hand, well, Jensen eats about as pretty as he does everything else. Prefers waffles to pancakes, which don't make no never mind, like his mama always says. Jared's got batter for both in the fridge and about now, he'd make Jensen chicken cordon bleu if he asked for it. But when Jared sips his cinnamon-laced chicory blend and watches Jensen cut each bite two squares by two squares, bisecting the ribs of the waffle so the syrup won't run, now that's something worth noting. He figures it means Jensen's had plenty of rough times and takes his happiness where he finds it, always expecting it to run out on him. Not like Jared hadn't figured that out already, but somehow a stack of waffles eaten neat and tidy as you please kinda cements it.

Sunlight streams through the window, kissing Jensen's fresh-showered chest and biceps like Jared wishes he was. Fact is, Jensen looks good in his kitchen, damned good, like Jared could see every morning for forever and never get bored.
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Here we are on the last day, and today's fandom is SPN/CW RPF. I hope you appreciate the segue from the last book yesterday.

First up is "Yield Strength" by [livejournal.com profile] t_fic. This is a Jensen/Chris story in which Jensen subs for Chris. I'd only read it once before, and it made me shiver as I read it again today to make sure I wanted to rec it. This is also part of a a whole verse that's mostly J2.

Secondly, "Rules of Engagement" by [livejournal.com profile] siublach. I've talked about this briefly before. It has some seriously hot sex. It's a J2 hooker AU, so the consent is dubious at best, and the whole thing is a seriously unhealthy dynamic, so, you know, if that's not your thing, don't read it. If you can handle that, though, it's an excellent story even beyond the hot sex.

Thirdly, "Swimming Blindly (To Throw Myself On Your Shore)" by [livejournal.com profile] nilchance and [livejournal.com profile] beanside. This is not really kinky, and I've been debating about whether or not to rec it in this series, but it's so hot I can't not. Jensen gets turned into a girl. Things from there progress more or less like a traditional genderswap story. Then Jensen and Jeff have sex, which is the part that's totally hot. They do have sex up against a wall, which is marginally kinky, maybe. There's also a schmoopy sequel, "Like a Simple Question."

Fourthly, and lastly for this post, "Cream" by [livejournal.com profile] nilchance. This is J3 genderswap porn in which Jeff has been turned into a girl (in the prequel "Cherry," which you don't have to read to understand this one). There's double penetration, which makes it kinky enough to go on this list with no reservations. It's also totally, totally hot. I have bookmarks for both this and "Swimming Blindly (To Throw Myself On Your Shore)" with keywords for easy access.
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Today's fandom is TPM. You may have noticed a lot of TPM recs on this. I'm not sure if it's because there really was a lot of kink fic or if it was more because the only things I read in TPM were things in the AU, bdsm, and fetish/kink categories at MasterApprentice. For all that, I'm down to only two TPM recs left.

First up is "A Less Than Perfect Padawan," by Ruth Gifford, which is the other fic I might have meant by "the spanking one" in my notes. Basically, it's just a Qui-Gon/Obi-Wan spanking scene with, of course, a flimsy premise to get them there. The flimsy premise in this case is very short.

My last TPM rec is a series I'm almost embarrassed to admit to liking. There are many, many things wrong with it, including some not very good writing and more humiliation than I'm into, and looking at it, I'm not sure if I ever read the fifth story. The reason it gets to be on this recs list is that it has occasional moments of very hot sex. It's also Qui-Gon/Obi-Wan/Mace Windu in parts. The series, by TJ, is, in order, "Revelations," "Discoveries," "Punishments," "Reparations," and "Tragedies" (this is the one I don't think I've read).

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